Interview experience and questions (merged)

[Sam_Son_83 17]

Hey there,

 

So after having filed my I751 waiver with the help of a rather expensive lawyer, I received an interview notice. Overall, the marriage was very short, due to my wife being mentally unstable and abusive. I'm not going into details, unless there's specific interest for it - but let's just say she threw me in a world of turmoil and pain. So I didn't' have the average laundry list of evidence, but with the advise of my lawyer I wrote a lengthy statement outlining the entirety of the relationship. A bit more to that later.

 

No to the interview. I got there without my lawyer (I had in the meantime to another city and having him travel would have caused astronomical costs), but was fairly confident.

This changed very quickly. The officer conducted the interview in a manner that couldn't have been further from what I expected, there was pretty much no opportunity for me to establish the narrative of how the relationship developed. The few times I brought it up, one specific example of emotional abuse I brought up in my statement, it was pretty much doubted and almost ridiculed ("so you are saying she reprimanded you like a little child and gave you silent treatment. How does that work? Did she reprimand you or was she silent? That doesn't make any sense to me."

It was these situations that completely shocked me and turned me into pretty much a bumbling mess. There was no possibility to give an insight into the nature of the relationship, it was mostly just money etc he was interested in... which don't give a good understanding of the situation - especially in cases such as mine.

My father had sent us money to support us in the beginning (I didn't have an EAD yet, so many often was tight). When I went back to Europe for a while to visit my family, my father was severely ill, he had two questions about the timeframe. First he seemed to doubt that I would go visit my gravely ill father, while I had someone that I called "the woman of my dreams" on a different continent. 

WHile I was visiting my family, my wife became increasingly cruel over the phone. I wasn't earning for days etc and one night had a nervous breakdown. I attached a letter from the hospital stating that my state was due to a very stressful and potentially abusive relationship I was in. His comment was that this breakdown could have well been due to my father's illness and not my wife. I was just speechless. I'm unsure if he didn't read the letter or if he did this on purpose.

Another point he brought up was that I had sent several thousand dollars to my wife via our shared bank account (that I could barely remember). He was asking me how it was possible for me to have savings like that, yet my father was still sending us smaller, regular amounts previously. He said that didn't make any sense to him. At some point he went to the very back of the application and asked if I was in the military, which I confirmed. No follow up questions to that.

 

The interview went really bad. He was pretty much telling all the time that all this wasn't convincing, "what would you say if you looked at this" etc. I was just terrified.

At the very end he asked me if there was anything I'd like to add, to which I resaponded If it could be something on a more personal note. He said yes.

At this point I got a bit emotional, pretty much told him that yes, I made a lot of mistakes. And that I know that all my submissions look like a mess, because they are the result of a very messy relationship. And that I had a stable life in Germany. To this he asked "so why don't or didn't you go back". I answered that I honestly thought about this quite a few times, but that I have found a person i deeply love and want to fix this mess on my own so we could have a good start. I told him that I had moved down here for her, after she had moved for her job. Mentioning this seemed to really interest him, as he took a note of her name and her job.

 

What was weird was that in the very end he seemed to have softened just a tad bit, almost unnoticeably. And he then said: "Listen, I will review your file later today and will then either approve it or not, in which case you will have the opportunity to go in front of a judge." I didn't expect this, as he was VERY negative and stand-offish.

 

 

How long should it take for me to know the result (online and mail), assuming he made a decision yesterday?

What do you guys think overall? Am I catastrophizing, is there still a chance that it might get approved?

 

 

Thank you, any discussion would be appreciated, as I am very stressed about it.

Edited December 4, 2018 by Sam_Son_83

[Crazy Cat 39,206]

I'm sorry to read this.  I think the your best course of action is to immediately start preparing for the appearance before an immigration judge with an attorney.....I hope I'm wrong...good luck.

[Sam_Son_83 17]

Just to add: He didn't take either my expired card nor the passport pictures I brought. Does this mean anything?

Just now, missileman said:

I'm sorry to read this.  I think the your best course of action is to immediately start preparing for the appearance before an immigration judge with an attorney.....I hope I'm wrong...good luck.

 

I have already contacted who is supposedly one of the best attorneys in the area and will be meeting with him on Monday.

[Crazy Cat 39,206]

4 minutes ago, Sam_Son_83 said:

Just to add: He didn't take either my expired card nor the passport pictures I brought. Does this mean anything?

EDIT:  It might not mean anything at all.......

Edited December 4, 2018 by missileman

[Sam_Son_83 17]

Interesting edit there, missileman.

 

I agree, it could go either way, certain things seem to sometimes happens at USCIS that are out of the ordinary, but then seemingly don't have any impact.

And I'm overthinking probably.

 

As you can probably imagine, it's a tough feeling. I know in my heart that I loved this girl like crazy and would have gone to extremes to make her happy - in the end, this was precisely my issue... the thought of if I just bed over further and accept even more insanity she regularly introduces... at some point she surely will see that our live is great. Big Mistake.

It's really tough to know all that, and then realize that some people can't seem to wrap their heads around it. 

 

The only slither of hope I have is that the last statement, in which I outlined the above a bit in a more seemed to slightly change something. Maybe I was able to convey what happened at least a little bit. He was also weirdly interested in my current gf and her (rather unusual) occupation and took notes about her - something which shouldn't matter at all. I was also weirded out by him asking about my military service, which is so long ago that I rarely even think of it.

 

I just can't make sense of a couple of things. And considering that pretty much everything is on the line for me and my gf (we want to get married once I figure this mess out). And now it's this waiting game - with the potential of hiring another $700/h attorney. 

Edited December 4, 2018 by Sam_Son_83

[Sam_Son_83 17]

Hi All,

 

I'm going to meet with a lawyer on Monday, but as you all know this is all very stressful and I am trying to wrap my head around possible options.

I had my Waiver ROC interview several days ago, and it left me with a bad feeling. The officer didn't tell me that he was going to deny it directly, but I have a bad gut feeling about it. I know in my heart that my marriage was bona fide, but I also know that it doesn't look very good - especially on paper (short marriage etc.)

 

Anyways, as the wait for the ROC was so long, I have by rebuild my life and met a wonderful person. We are planning on marrying and building a family - but my plan was to complete the ROC first completely on my own, as to start from a clean slate. The last years with this person have been pretty much everything I had hoped my initial relationship would have led to, I am deeply involved in the family and we have built a fantastic relationship, traveling the world together etc. This person has, due to the currently long wait times, also waited a considerable time. And now this.

So, in case of a denial what are my options?

 

Of course, I could wait for the NTA. But I heard that this could technically take a LONG time, years in some cases. So I was considering other options.

 

• Could we I130-i485 during the removal proceedings? I guess this could lead to me presenting the hopefully approved applications to the judge, we defineitly have more than enough proof of a bona fide relationship.
• Could I leave the country and we go the K1 route? This wouldn't be very easy, because we are currently sharing a house and expenses - basically live as if we were married.

 

Any other options anyone could think of and that I could discuss with the attorney?

Of course there is still hope the ROC still gets approved. I'm a fairly negative person when it comes to these things, and I think I have every right to think so. 

 

Also, there were a couple of details during the interview that give me a tiny glimmer of hope, I won't put them in here, but if anyone has experience with tough ROC interviews, I'd appreciate someone reaching out via PM very much to discuss.

 

Thank you!

 

 

 

[Khallaf 646]

11 minutes ago, Sam_Son_83 said:

Hi All,

 

I'm going to meet with a lawyer on Monday, but as you all know this is all very stressful and I am trying to wrap my head around possible options.

I had my Waiver ROC interview several days ago, and it left me with a bad feeling. The officer didn't tell me that he was going to deny it directly, but I have a bad gut feeling about it. I know in my heart that my marriage was bona fide, but I also know that it doesn't look very good - especially on paper (short marriage etc.)

 

Anyways, as the wait for the ROC was so long, I have by rebuild my life and met a wonderful person. We are planning on marrying and building a family - but my plan was to complete the ROC first completely on my own, as to start from a clean slate. The last years with this person have been pretty much everything I had hoped my initial relationship would have led to, I am deeply involved in the family and we have built a fantastic relationship, traveling the world together etc. This person has, due to the currently long wait times, also waited a considerable time. And now this.

So, in case of a denial what are my options?

 

Of course, I could wait for the NTA. But I heard that this could technically take a LONG time, years in some cases. So I was considering other options.

 

• Could we I130-i485 during the removal proceedings? I guess this could lead to me presenting the hopefully approved applications to the judge, we defineitly have more than enough proof of a bona fide relationship.
• Could I leave the country and we go the K1 route? This wouldn't be very easy, because we are currently sharing a house and expenses - basically live as if we were married.

 

Any other options anyone could think of and that I could discuss with the attorney?

Of course there is still hope the ROC still gets approved. I'm a fairly negative person when it comes to these things, and I think I have every right to think so. 

 

Also, there were a couple of details during the interview that give me a tiny glimmer of hope, I won't put them in here, but if anyone has experience with tough ROC interviews, I'd appreciate someone reaching out via PM very much to discuss.

 

Thank you!

 

 

 

so you are now divorced from the first wife, after you got your first green card, you are now up for ROC, you submitted all the information and proof that you entered that marriage on a bonafide relationship. I assume you also did the divorce waiver?

 

now if I understand you want to know if the ROC is denied and are told you have to leave, you want to know if you remarry a new women, can you adjust status?

 

I do not believe there will be anything to adjust from, you will have to leave and go back to your country and wait for her to petition for you, it might be an open and shut case, and it might be an uphill climb.

 

I could be very wrong and of course there are others that will likely know better, but I think if you are denied for ROC, you will have to leave.

 

@missileman

@geowrian

Edited December 6, 2018 by Khallaf

[Ontarkie 13,912]

~~Related threads merged. Please do not start more than one thread for this topic. It's very important that members have all the information in one thread. They cannot give you the best answers if you do not have all the information together.~~

[Ontarkie 13,912]

What waivers did you apply for? Divorce waiver or divorce and abuse waiver? 

 

[Sam_Son_83 17]

 

3 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

What waivers did you apply for? Divorce waiver or divorce and abuse waiver? 

 

 

While the relationship was very abusive (I ended up being admitted to a psychiatric warden due to a nervous breakdown when visiting my family), I applied for the "simple" waiver. My attorney said that the abuse would be rather difficult to prove, as it is often the case with emotional abuse.

It seems he was right, as the officer was giving me a hard time for some of the examples of behavior I made in my personal statement. It seemed he didn't see "silent treatment" as a valid abuse mechanism, and also seemed to doubt that my wife belitteling and scolding me like a child would be abusive.

Edited December 6, 2018 by Sam_Son_83

[Khallaf 646]

14 minutes ago, Sam_Son_83 said:

 

 

While the relationship was very abusive (I ended up being admitted to a psychiatric warden due to a nervous breakdown when visiting my family), I applied for the "simple" waiver. My attorney said that the abuse would be rather difficult to prove, as it is often the case with emotional abuse.

It seems he was right, as the officer was giving me a hard time for some of the examples of behavior I made in my personal statement. It seemed he didn't see "silent treatment" as a valid abuse mechanism, and also seemed to doubt that my wife belitteling and scolding me like a child would be abusive.

Did you file with a divorce waiver?

[Sam_Son_83 17]

3 minutes ago, Khallaf said:

Did you file with a divorce waiver?

It says I filed with the "simple" [divorce only] waiver in the quoted paragraph.

[Khallaf 646]

4 minutes ago, Sam_Son_83 said:

It says I filed with the "simple" [divorce only] waiver in the quoted paragraph.

do you mind if I ask just how short the marriage was? what evidence did you provide that you came here on good intentions for the marriage?

 

and what exactly did the man say after the interview?

[Sam_Son_83 17]

The marriage was around 5 months. I have put a lot of information about the interview itself in the initial post.

[Ontarkie 13,912]

45 minutes ago, Sam_Son_83 said:

 

 

While the relationship was very abusive (I ended up being admitted to a psychiatric warden due to a nervous breakdown when visiting my family), I applied for the "simple" waiver. My attorney said that the abuse would be rather difficult to prove, as it is often the case with emotional abuse.

It seems he was right, as the officer was giving me a hard time for some of the examples of behavior I made in my personal statement. It seemed he didn't see "silent treatment" as a valid abuse mechanism, and also seemed to doubt that my wife belitteling and scolding me like a child would be abusive.

  Since you applied with the divorce waiver only that is what you should focus on. Many times it goes for supervisor review before approvals. He may not have liked your evidence of abuse when you didn't submit  the abuse waiver, but he should have focused on what proof you had for your marriage. Before freaking out any more I would wait. You already had the help of a lawyer, and it sounds like he knew what he was doing.

 

What type of proof did you submit?