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HyeKyung Sims

Green card& Divorce& VAWA

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Hi

 

I got married in Aug 2018 after dating for an year (been friends for couple years). we moved in together right before we got married (June).

 

After we moved in, had little arguments but It was just a part of marriage life.

However, He got caught using dating apps in September.

promised that he won't do it again and I was living hell trying to make up and trust him again

 

I applied for green card on Nov 7, 2018 and got finger print done on Nov 26, 2018.

 

and middle of Nov

I found out that he's still using those dating apps but now he's even talking to those girls privately, meaning that texting, calling etc.

also He has been doing this even when we were just dating. 

 

He keeps lying to me, neglecting me and mentally abuses me by making me feel guilty on everything and controlling me. 

for instants, when I come home late from work or have company related event, he threats me saying I'm cheating on him.

 

One time we were fighting over his phone and he made my whole upper body bruised...

 

he does not know that I know he still cheating on me

but i have been gather evidences of him cheating, pictures of abuses - My doctor can provide evidence also. 

 

I heard of VAWA system but I don't want cops to be involved or anything that might lead his grudge... 

but I do not want to live like this.

If my status wasn't a problem I would leave him.. 

 

is there anything I can do to get out of this situation?

I have been friends with him for so long and we have been dating for an year. He is not the same person at all ...

 

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Yes, you can file for VAWA. 


Entry on VWP to visit then-boyfriend 06/13/2011

Married 06/24/2011

Our first son was born 10/31/2012, our daughter was born 06/30/2014, our second son was born 06/20/2017

AOS Timeline

AOS package mailed 09/06/2011 (Chicago Lockbox)

AOS package signed for by R Mercado 09/07/2011

Priority date for I-485&I-130 09/08/2011

Biometrics done 10/03/2011

Interview letter received 11/18/2011

INTERVIEW DATE!!!! 12/20/2011

Approval e-mail 12/21/2011

Card production e-mail 12/27/2011

GREEN CARD ARRIVED 12/31/2011

Resident since 12/21/2011

ROC Timeline

ROC package mailed to VSC 11/22/2013

NOA1 date 11/26/2013

Biometrics date 12/26/2013

Transfer notice to CSC 03/14/2014

Change of address 03/27/2014

Card production ordered 04/30/2014

10-YEAR GREEN CARD ARRIVED 05/06/2014

N-400 Timeline

N-400 package mailed 09/30/2014

N-400 package delivered 10/01/2014

NOA1 date 10/20/2014

Biometrics date 11/14/2014

Early walk-in biometrics 11/12/2014

In-line for interview 11/23/2014

Interview letter 03/18/2015

Interview date 04/17/2015 ("Decision cannot yet be made.")

In-line for oath scheduling 05/04/2015

Oath ceremony letter dated 05/11/2015

Oath ceremony 06/02/2015

I am a United States citizen!

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~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from General Immigration Discussion - Where similar topics are discussed.~~

 

 


Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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~~Duplicate thread removed.~~ 

 

No need to start another thread. I moved this one last night to the proper forum. You can ask your question in this thread. You may want to also join the VAWA thread. Many pages of good information. 

 

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/691349-vawa-part-12/

Edited by Ontarkie

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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Cheating is not considered in VAWA. Physical abuse (that leaves bruising) is. Mental abuse needs to have a diagnosis of PTSD/severe anxiety etc- basically showing it caused significant impact to you and you are not the person you were before. Mental abuse is humiliation, degradation etc- remember pain caused by infidelity/cheating is not sufficient as mental abuse.   

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Cheating is not abuse, it is just a bad marriage. USCIS will not pay attention to the cheating, so don’t even mention it in your VAWA documents.

 

To prove physical abuse, you need either a police report, restraining order or or hospital records of your injuries. 

To prove mental abuse, you need to have attended at least 5-7 therapy sessions with a domestic violenece counselor or with a licensed psychologist that has experience with domestic violence. The therapist needs to then write an in depth psychological evaluation about the abuse you suffered and about the diagnosis (has to be depression, anxiety and/or PTSD) and the treatment plan. 

 

One of the most important documents needs to be your own affidavit where you explain the courtship and then the abuse in detail. 

 

You also need witness statements from people that have witnessed the abuse or that you have told about the abuse. These need to be notarized for all persons in the US and translated into English by someone other than you if from your home country. 

 

You need to prove that you are married (marriage certificate).

 

You need to prove that the marriage was entered in good faith. 

 

You need to prove that you resided together. 

 

You need to prove that your spouse is either a US citizen (passport/birth certificate) or LPR (copy of GC).  

 

You need to prove that you are a person of good moral character by submitting police clearance from all places you have lived in the past 3 years (each US state and each country). 

 

I suggest you move out immediately, go to friends or a domestic violence shelter and file for divorce. Do not stay with the abuser. Cut all ties immediately and file for a restraining order. Domestic violence shelters/agencies typically work with pro bono attorneys that can help you with restraining orders, divorce and VAWA. 

Edited by iwillsurvive

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Cheating isn’t a criteria to Vawa and like u said he was cheating before marriage but u still went ahead to marry him.u guys should just talk things out and maybe go for counseling and u said u were dragging his phone with him that means u were ready to fight him..be very careful not to hit him cos u just might be the one going to prison..ijs

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Physical abuse is a ground for Vawa,but you are still with your spouse because you are concern about your immigration status,REALLY???? .Your safety is more important than your green card. Don’t even waste your time mentioning about cheating because Uscis will not take into consideration cheating.

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On 12/17/2018 at 5:38 AM, sandranj said:

Physical abuse is a ground for Vawa,but you are still with your spouse because you are concern about your immigration status,REALLY???? .Your safety is more important than your green card. Don’t even waste your time mentioning about cheating because Uscis will not take into consideration cheating.

This shows people will do anything for a green card. If she really was scared she would have called the cops or left him already but she won’t because she wants that geeen card smh 

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You were fighting over his phone? So did he have bruises or scratches?  Have you yelled at him? Hit him? Called him names?  

 

To be honest, it sounds like a bad marriage with no trust and little love.  

 

I am not sure if you qualify for VAWA but you should divorce and move on with your life.  Stop making yourself miserable being with someone who doesn't love you. 

Edited by NikLR

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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