June 2017 I-129F Filers, Part IV

[NateAndJessica 200]

1 hour ago, John & Rose said:

Now I have a question for those more familiar with the Filipino culture.  I keep looking towards another K-1 but I wonder if Rose and the kids would feel more confident with a CR-1.  I will marry her in a heartbeat no doubt.  I wonder if culturally that would be the better route.  Will she feel better if we are married and take a little longer to be together or is being together quicker the better solution.  Culturally they are quite different and all I want is to make her feel better and more confident.  She won't answer me when I ask her but she knows I was leaning towards K-1.  She just does the "I will do whatever you feel is best"...

 

I know that she will be nervous until the next K-1 interview because we were blindsided with the refusal.  I just want to give her and the kids the life they deserve and I want to do what is best in their eyes.  I want them to know that I am with them forever.  I can do either but if they will feel better if we are married right away than I will be on the next plane.

 

Any thoughts?

My opinion, don't consider time or money, just what is most likely to end in approval. As far as i understand CR1 would simplify your application, less complications is better I think. This really is a Rose question though about what she picks ; )

[John & Rose 7,239]

8 minutes ago, KBA said:

I feel like getting married might help her feel more secure...Would there be less possibility for denial? But is she ok with the wait for the CR-1? Just my thoughts! If we had it over I think we would’ve gone that direction...and who knows, we may still have to depending on how the K1 pans out...

Filipinos are a little different as they are culturally used to being away from family. Mother’s leave their children to work overseas to send money home. Rose was married to Oscar and he lived in Ireland. They saw each other about 2 months every other year!  They were married for 16 years. 

[John & Rose 7,239]

6 minutes ago, NateAndJessica said:

My opinion, don't consider time or money, just what is most likely to end in approval. As far as i understand CR1 would simplify your application, less complications is better I think. This really is a Rose question though about what she picks ; )

I believe that is what she wants. She knows I was leaning K-1 so she was going along with me. 

[NateAndJessica 200]

7 minutes ago, John & Rose said:

I believe that is what she wants. She knows I was leaning K-1 so she was going along with me. 

its hard to know how this k1 would progress. if it was ensured to be 6 months to interview this time no brainer... to bad thats not how USCIS works, you know like processing them in order : /

That direct consular filing really sounds dreamy... I dont know if that ended up a deadend? seeing as USCIS already approved you it seems reasonable the consulate should offer that, emphasis on should.

Edited April 28, 2018 by NateAndJessica

[John & Rose 7,239]

27 minutes ago, NateAndJessica said:

its hard to know how this k1 would progress. if it was ensured to be 6 months to interview this time no brainer... to bad thats not how USCIS works, you know like processing them in order : /

That direct consular filing really sounds dreamy... I dont know if that ended up a deadend? seeing as USCIS already approved you it seems reasonable the consulate should offer that, emphasis on should.

DCF works but would require me to live there full time for 6 months. I would lose my job and opportunities for 57 year old men who don’t speak Tagalog are rare. 

[Tony and Tillie 340]

3 hours ago, John & Rose said:

Now I have a question for those more familiar with the Filipino culture.  I keep looking towards another K-1 but I wonder if Rose and the kids would feel more confident with a CR-1.  I will marry her in a heartbeat no doubt.  I wonder if culturally that would be the better route.  Will she feel better if we are married and take a little longer to be together or is being together quicker the better solution.  Culturally they are quite different and all I want is to make her feel better and more confident.  She won't answer me when I ask her but she knows I was leaning towards K-1.  She just does the "I will do whatever you feel is best"...

 

I know that she will be nervous until the next K-1 interview because we were blindsided with the refusal.  I just want to give her and the kids the life they deserve and I want to do what is best in their eyes.  I want them to know that I am with them forever.  I can do either but if they will feel better if we are married right away than I will be on the next plane.

 

Any thoughts?

Hey John, it's Tillie here. I'm sorry to hear about how your application turned out, but it's good to know that you are moving on.

 

If Tony & I were in your situation, I'd choose CR-1, at this stage. Yes, it will take longer than K-1 but we've already proven that time and distance won't keep us from loving and supporting each other. We've survived and nurtured each other while in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years, what other hurdles can we not overcome together? At this point, I would feel more secured knowing that we are married while we go through the process of finally being physically together. Plus, going through another interview in a different circumstance (from K-1 to CR-1) would be a huge relief. The stress and pressure will definitely be lesser.

 

I wish you all the best in what ever you and Rose decide on. Be persistent in keeping her involved in the decision process. Filipino women are used to being submissive to their man because that's our culture - the man of the house has the final say, most of the time. Do not accept the "what ever you think is best" answer. I'm pretty sure she thinks and feels differently.

 

Good luck to you both. Hang in there.

 

 

[John & Rose 7,239]

1 minute ago, Tony and Tillie said:

Hey John, it's Tillie here. I'm sorry to hear about how your application turned out, but it's good to know that you are moving on.

 

If Tony & I were in your situation, I'd choose CR-1, at this stage. Yes, it will take longer than K-1 but we've already proven that time and distance won't keep us from loving and supporting each other. We've survived and nurtured each other while in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years, what other hurdles can we not overcome together? At this point, I would feel more secured knowing that we are married while we go through the process of finally being physically together. Plus, going through another interview in a different circumstance (from K-1 to CR-1) would be a huge relief. The stress and pressure will definitely be lesser.

 

I wish you all the best in what ever you and Rose decide on. Be persistent in keeping her involved in the decision process. Filipino women are used to being submissive to their man because that's our culture - the man of the house has the final say, most of the time. Do not accept the "what ever you think is best" answer. I'm pretty sure she thinks and feels differently.

 

Good luck to you both. Hang in there.

 

 

Yes. I know she will go along with what I say no matter what she feels. Right now I am leaning for CR-1. I want her family to be there when she gets married. I want her to be my wife. I want to visit my wife and not my fiancée. I know she wants to share her wedding with her family. I love them all. If we got married here it would be with 5 friends and my 2 kids. There are 22 of her family on a beach in Batangas right now for her sister’s birthday. I want her to share that moment with her family. 

[Tony and Tillie 340]

31 minutes ago, John & Rose said:

Yes. I know she will go along with what I say no matter what she feels. Right now I am leaning for CR-1. I want her family to be there when she gets married. I want her to be my wife. I want to visit my wife and not my fiancée. I know she wants to share her wedding with her family. I love them all. If we got married here it would be with 5 friends and my 2 kids. There are 22 of her family on a beach in Batangas right now for her sister’s birthday. I want her to share that moment with her family. 

I'm sure Rose would love that, so go for it. A wedding on the beach is nice too. 

[garylenhall 63]

4 hours ago, John & Rose said:

Now I have a question for those more familiar with the Filipino culture.  I keep looking towards another K-1 but I wonder if Rose and the kids would feel more confident with a CR-1.  I will marry her in a heartbeat no doubt.  I wonder if culturally that would be the better route.  Will she feel better if we are married and take a little longer to be together or is being together quicker the better solution.  Culturally they are quite different and all I want is to make her feel better and more confident.  She won't answer me when I ask her but she knows I was leaning towards K-1.  She just does the "I will do whatever you feel is best"...

 

I know that she will be nervous until the next K-1 interview because we were blindsided with the refusal.  I just want to give her and the kids the life they deserve and I want to do what is best in their eyes.  I want them to know that I am with them forever.  I can do either but if they will feel better if we are married right away than I will be on the next plane.

 

Any thoughts?

I am from Philippines. As a Filipina i would be so proud to get married in front of the people who means a lot to me, my family and friends, specially my parents.

For sure, Rose will be so happy when that time happens and will be so proud to call you as her husband. 

[John & Rose 7,239]

2 hours ago, garylenhall said:

I am from Philippines. As a Filipina i would be so proud to get married in front of the people who means a lot to me, my family and friends, specially my parents.

For sure, Rose will be so happy when that time happens and will be so proud to call you as her husband. 

I spoke to Rose. We are getting married there in July. I think she and the kids are happy but I still get “whatever you think is best” answer.  Sometimes I wish filipinas weren’t so submissive! Lol

[BigRob1969 107]

4 minutes ago, John & Rose said:

I spoke to Rose. We are getting married there in July. I think she and the kids are happy but I still get “whatever you think is best” answer.  Sometimes I wish filipinas weren’t so submissive! Lol

I know what you mean. My Helen tells me "whatever you want" so often. I was so not used to that level of....I don't know what to call it. From my ex it would have been sarcastic, and a trap. It took me a while to realize that she really was saying whatever I want, and she meant it. I don't wish the same thing, I love it. I wish you guys the best and nothing but success from here out. 

[John & Rose 7,239]

3 minutes ago, BigRob1969 said:

I know what you mean. My Helen tells me "whatever you want" so often. I was so not used to that level of....I don't know what to call it. From my ex it would have been sarcastic, and a trap. It took me a while to realize that she really was saying whatever I want, and she meant it. I don't wish the same thing, I love it. I wish you guys the best and nothing but success from here out. 

Exactly!!  She doesn’t realize that when I hear that I picture American sarcasm and not the truth!!!

[garylenhall 63]

1 hour ago, John & Rose said:

I spoke to Rose. We are getting married there in July. I think she and the kids are happy but I still get “whatever you think is best” answer.  Sometimes I wish filipinas weren’t so submissive! Lol

Sometimes that phrase would mean like "convince me more" 😂

Rose just wanted you to guide the way for you two and the kids that's why you kept on getting that answer from her.

[John & Rose 7,239]

11 minutes ago, garylenhall said:

Sometimes that phrase would mean like "convince me more" 😂

Rose just wanted you to guide the way for you two and the kids that's why you kept on getting that answer from her.

We are getting married there in July.  I will make a short trip sooner to get the affidavit and start the marriage license then I will go back with my kids in July for the wedding.  I made the decisions and she was VERY happy I made this one.

[garylenhall 63]

7 minutes ago, John & Rose said:

We are getting married there in July.  I will make a short trip sooner to get the affidavit and start the marriage license then I will go back with my kids in July for the wedding.  I made the decisions and she was VERY happy I made this one.

That sounds wonderful!

CR 1 is less hassle. Less paper works when the entire process is already done. And as what we have seen lately, processing time for k1and cr1 is almost the same. 

I would prepfer cr 1 too if i know how it works before we filed for k1. 

Good luck to you both. Sending prayers your way. 

We all will get through this,in time.