Living in the US while waiting for K-1 Visa process

[Snowboardinwny 0]

I haven't posted in here because I have had a lot on my plate.  But I have been reading threw and weighing my options.  I appreciate everyones responses thus far.  Today again I brought up to her the fact that I thought we should visit the Philippines this March but I would have to come back home and she could come back to the US once she gets the K-1 visa.  She will have nothing to do with it and keeps telling me how I let her down.  I did learn tonight the reason she doesn't want to go back to the Philippines.  She doesn't want to let her family down because it is a big deal for one of their children to be working in a different country.  Her Dad especially.  She says I wouldn't understand, and I do understand that she doesn't want to let them down but I guess I don't understand, because she will be working here once we get married...  Canada has screwed her, she has payed thousands upon thousands just to stay in Canada in hopes of getting her PR.  She had the opportunity to get a certificate to continue to work in Canada but it would coast her over three thousand dollars, I didn't see the point of her waisting that kind of money when we would be getting our K-1 visa soon.  In hine sight I should have let her get the certificate and I take full responsability for that.  

11 hours ago, piranda said:

I just want to share my experience since my situation was similar to yours, at a certain point.

I was a resident in dubai, traveling for work ( and as well to see my fiance) to new york average twice/month. My i-94 arrival/departure had 84 entries- the past 2 years( tourist and work visit), i used it during the k1 interview (as one of the proofs) to show our continuous relationship. i never overstayed, i never stayed more then 30 days, most of the times I didn't have the return ticket  when i entered US , I booked it during my stay here. 

in may 2017 i ve got unpaid leave for one month and came to US to spend this month with my fiance, travelled via Milan-jfk, i had no return ticket because i didn't know exactly which date , end of may, I will go back , but had no problem with the IO. i left after 20 days.

in august last year I ve sent 200kg cargo to US and I came myself here  to wait approval for i 129f (at this moment i was no longer a dubai resident, nor employee there and had 3 big suitcases with me), but certainly i was not an illegal immigrant!!!

we got NOA2 middle of August and beginning of September i went to my home country for the interview.

after a bit over a week spent in my country came here with K1visa , you can see this on my timeline. so , regarding to your question about the 3 weeks in the Philippines, if the embassy and medical goes fast enough , 3 weeks is more then enough.

it is not impossible what you and your fiancee wants to do .

 

Thank you for this response, It certainly helps but I'm still not sure if We should go threw with it.  Did you have any thought about what if they didn't let you threw.  In both of our cases I'm sure it helps that we have been back and forth several times.  What kind of questions did they ask you the last time you came threw?  Did they know that you had no legal ties to Dubai anymore.  Were you 100% truthful?

[Boiler 48,257]

Her family no doubt invested a lot in trying to get her into Canada so it make sense that the failure to obtain PR would be seen so shamefully.

[Illiria 980]

It’s clear what her priorities are, getting permanent residence somewhere overseas so she can send money back home. It’s noble that she wants to help her family. If you had this plan from the beginning then that’s all good but if this is the first you have heard of their familial aspirations and you have any inkling that you are a means to an end then I suggest you tell her that you want to move to the Philippines and see what she does.  

 

Can’t she go for the certificate now and you continue to do long distance?  Are you funding her Canadian aspirations?  

[NikLR 13,235]

She certainly wont be working for about 4-6 months after you send the AOS paperwork after marriage in the USA.  

 

First she doesnt want to go back because of an ex boyfriend and now its because her family will be annoyed she isnt living in Canada or the USA? 

 

Red flags all over this buddy sorry. 

[Chris Duffy 1,257]

1 hour ago, NikLR said:

She certainly wont be working for about 4-6 months after you send the AOS paperwork after marriage in the USA.  

 

First she doesnt want to go back because of an ex boyfriend and now its because her family will be annoyed she isnt living in Canada or the USA? 

 

Red flags all over this buddy sorry. 

Big Time Red Flags

[Unlockable 7,322]

@Snowboardinwny

 

I agree with others that red flags are starting to pop up. If you look on this site you wind many people who have relationship with Filipinas. You may want to spend some time searching this or other forums on the family structures of the Philippines. There family ties are very strong. But where the problems often occur is the difference between how westerners, like yourself, deal with family and how foreigners, like your girlfriend deals with family. For one, shame is very big in the Philippines, and you are seeing the effects of it first hand. Two, the word of her parents are very powerful. Don't be surprised if they will have more of a final say of aspects of her life more than you do, even after you are married. Three, it is very common for Filipino parents to expect their kids to go off and earn money for the family, even if it is in another country. They are expected to send money back to them. When Americans and other westerners get old enough, we often go off on our own to fend for ourselves.

 

I think you need to spend some time read blogs or watching videos about the Filipina culture and dating them. This is so you aren't learning as you go and get surprised by some of the things you may not understand.

 

Last thing I want to say is that because of her situation, it seems she is in a state of desperation, which is why you are under some pressure. Take some time and really weigh your options. You still have time to figure this out.

[NikLR 13,235]

Also spend some time reading about tampo.  

[dentsflogged 352]

Sorry OP but I agree with some of the others here - her desperation to not go back to the Phillipines including multiple reasons why she doesn't want to go, and then the attempt at emotional manipulation when you tried to insist as well as previous attempt to get LPR in another Western country reeks of her wanting to be anywhere BUT there and using any way to do so.

If she really is expected by her family to live/work and send money back from America - ask her (and yourself!) what the expectation is ON YOU during the 4-6 months that she won't be working upon K-1 entry and AOS?  I'd be concerned that the expectation is that YOUR money is sent there instead.  

Also ask her (and yourself!) what the expectation of working and supporting Filipino family members will be after your marriage and how that will impact your future - what if you want to buy property, save for travel and etc and her material contribution is significantly less than what it would be otherwise?  

[doggieandsam 765]

2 hours ago, dentsflogged said:

Sorry OP but I agree with some of the others here - her desperation to not go back to the Phillipines including multiple reasons why she doesn't want to go, and then the attempt at emotional manipulation when you tried to insist as well as previous attempt to get LPR in another Western country reeks of her wanting to be anywhere BUT there and using any way to do so.

If she really is expected by her family to live/work and send money back from America - ask her (and yourself!) what the expectation is ON YOU during the 4-6 months that she won't be working upon K-1 entry and AOS?  I'd be concerned that the expectation is that YOUR money is sent there instead.  

Also ask her (and yourself!) what the expectation of working and supporting Filipino family members will be after your marriage and how that will impact your future - what if you want to buy property, save for travel and etc and her material contribution is significantly less than what it would be otherwise?  

i would have to agree on pretty much on most of this. 

 

OP's fiancee's insistence on not returning home to the philippines and seeming willingness to toe the line in order to avoid it, reeks of desperation at this point. first it was the troublesome but then now, its because the family is ashamed or not accepting of their child not being working overseas! seriously, the ex reason may be true or not, but at least that one is believable. this second reason is ridiculous - think about it, a filipino family that can afford to send their child to canada to try and get PR there IS a middle class family by philippine standards. they would certainly not be the type to need financial support from their kid. there is something not adding up to this story. but i digress.

 

OP's plan is doable but not advisable due to the risks involved. how to legally do it - she can finish her work visa in canada, get a refundable ticket (or a ticket with no change fees) to the philippines, so that she can fly back home from there. she enters the US to visit OP but leaves once her i-94 runs out or her K1 interview comes up, whichever comes first. the risk is that when she presents herself at the border at this time, she may be turned away because she no longer has ties to canada. if she is, then she just flies straight home to the philippines at that time. she waits out the interview date in the philippines. they are well into the processing timeline at this time, it can't be that long of a wait at this point.

 

not sure if anybody else has pointed this out yet. but assuming she goes ahead and visits and then overstays. her k1 visa interview will need to be done overseas regardless. that means, she will HAVE to depart the US at this time. if she already has an overstay in her record, then that will come up during the interview. if so, then doesn't that mean that she becomes inadmissable due to the overstay and will therefore be denied the k1 visa? and then will need to file a waiver in order to overcome that? that could potentially add many more months (and frustration) to the process, which is a pretty dumb move for something that is totally avoidable to begin with.

 

 

[mushroomspore 3,047]

I'm Asian-Canadian, so I understand the pressure your fiancee feels when it comes to her family. My parents are the same; high expectations, "we want you to make a lotta money and help us out in our old age, you're the first born" blah blah effing blah.

 

HOWEVER, my parents also understand that what my husband and I are going through right now in terms of this immigration process does NOT involve them. They also get that we don't have time or energy to involve them in this and we won't be too involved with each other until this is over. If they didn't understand and were trying to meddle somehow, I'd sure as hell would put my foot down and limit or cut contact until the whole thing was over. While your fiancee's family clearly aren't understanding this, your fiancee needs to learn how to put her family in their place. Right now, it is NOT to use them as "leverage" against you and to make you feel as though you've come up short somehow.

 

As for the K1 stuff, all I can say is that as soon as we all filed papers with USCIS, we're bound to their rules. In the same way that our dimension has things like gravity, electromagnetism and consciousness holding it all together, USCIS has rules that are expected to be followed. It's best not to toe the line or even try to violate them. Once again, if your fiancee doesn't understand that and can't manage her emotions from herself and her family with you in a productive manner, I think you've got deeper issues than the K1 process to talk about.

Edited January 17, 2018 by mushroomspore