dna Unconfirmed Son of U.S. citizen

[Auds 223]

Any update for us?  Hoping for this little child and full of respect for you.

[evoria 19]

12 minutes ago, Auds said:

Any update for us?  Hoping for this little child and full of respect for you.

Thanks for asking. As a matter of fact the DNA package arrived in Ghana today.  Fed Ex was able to deliver to her house and she has it.  They are going to pick it up when its ready.  I pray she does it correctly.  I mean its not hard, she seemed to understand.  We will drop my husbands in the mail tomorrow.  We did not have too much lead time before the boys was sent off.  Once received by DDC it takes about 2 business days. I will be sure to return with the results.  May as soon as next week. 

[evoria 19]

On 7/24/2017 at 6:26 PM, Auds said:

Any update for us?  Hoping for this little child and full of respect for you.

Finally the sample has left Ghana via UPS.  It was tough getting the local office to understand that it was

pre-paid.  The package is expected in the US late Thursday 8/10.  We should know by 8/16 or so.  I will update then.

[evoria 19]

On 7/24/2017 at 6:26 PM, Auds said:

Any update for us?  Hoping for this little child and full of respect for you.

Just got the results.  My husband has 0% chance of being the boys father.  I have to admit, I am sad.  My husband is afraid to tell his sister.  I would like to hope she would continue to take care of him.  I am still willing to adopt, but I wish we could find the mother, this is a sad situation.  I am now so afraid for this little boy.   I mean the sister is going to ask, what happen with the test?  Do we lie?  This is a living mess for this child. 

[Ontarkie 13,948]

I'm so sorry.

 

Not sure how to tell his sister, does she ask about it? If she does you can say something like - It should be any day now. Then say something like - I hope it confirms he's (husband's name) I don't know what to do if he's not. See what she says then. 

 

I know your husband was adamant it was not his child right from the start surely his sister knew that also? If she accepted him knowing that then I would hope nothing would change. She's raised him and surely has a good bond with him. 

 

Does the boy's bio mom have relatives? It may be time to make sure he has a relationship with them in case your sister inlaw passes while he is still young.  

Edited August 16, 2017 by Ontarkie

[Ochili 21]

I'm sorry to hear that your husband isn't the father. It makes things so much tougher, now. Thank you for your kind heart and wanting the best for the child. I wish you all well.

[evoria 19]

18 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

I'm so sorry.

 

Not sure how to tell his sister, does she ask about it? If she does you can say something like - It should be any day now. Then say something like - I hope it confirms he's (husband's name) I don't know what to do if he's not. See what she says then. 

 

I know your husband was adamant it was not his child right from the start surely his sister knew that also? If she accepted him knowing that then I would hope nothing would change. She's raised him and surely has a good bond with him. 

 

Does the boy's bio mom have relatives? It may be time to make sure he has a relationship with them in case your sister inlaw passes while he is still young.  

That's a good way to do it. I am also hoping she will continue to raise him.  I am afraid my husband will tell her or someone because he has been made the villain and he kept saying he never touch the girl but I know men too.   We will continue to search for his relatives, and try to find his mother.  We are going to Ghana in December, we will tell them what we know (they will not believe us, but whatever) and let them know my sister in law may not be able to do this much longer, they need a plan.  Thanks everyone for the good advice and sympathetic ear. 

[Unlockable 7,306]

Cases with children are always tough to hear. Sorry to hear about the results.

 

If you proceed with the adoption we will be pulling for you.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

1 hour ago, evoria said:

Just got the results.  My husband has 0% chance of being the boys father.  I have to admit, I am sad.  My husband is afraid to tell his sister.  I would like to hope she would continue to take care of him.  I am still willing to adopt, but I wish we could find the mother, this is a sad situation.  I am now so afraid for this little boy.   I mean the sister is going to ask, what happen with the test?  Do we lie?  This is a living mess for this child. 

A random woman comes by with a kid and says, "your brother is the father".  Here you go.  And the SIL just says "OK, i will raise him"??????   She doesn't question it at all?  And for 3 years you and your husband haven't done anything to verify it?  That makes no sense.  I realize that there may be people who would take in a child like that and care for him.  But usually, the people have means to do so, but it doesn't sound like the SIL is rich or anything.  Something is off here.  

 

In the end, the child is not your or your husband's responsibility.  I think your husband is willing to care for this child possibly as a way to make up for cheating in his own mind and to surpress guilt he may be feeling?

[Rc123rc 528]

Based on my own experience adopting a child with no blood ties from a foreign country with unknown parentage it could be a 3-5 year process through the courts. They need to prove there is no chance of child trafficking and that the child is clear of all legal obstacles for adoption. 

[Boiler 43,684]

4 hours ago, evoria said:

Just got the results.  My husband has 0% chance of being the boys father.  I have to admit, I am sad.  My husband is afraid to tell his sister.  I would like to hope she would continue to take care of him.  I am still willing to adopt, but I wish we could find the mother, this is a sad situation.  I am now so afraid for this little boy.   I mean the sister is going to ask, what happen with the test?  Do we lie?  This is a living mess for this child. 

She probably knows anyway and lying makes a small mess bigger.

 

Adoption is a matter for local laws and I have no idea how they operate, I would expect your first port of call would be a local lawyer familiar with the proces.

 

An immigration benefit is of course a totally separate issue.

[Auds 223]

 

I thought your husband was not sure of parentage!  I am surprised he now says he never touched the girl?!?  Why do the test in the first place...

 

Sister has taken on child raising a random child - I am sure she would have believed her brother if he clearly said to her he did not sleep with the random woman - there is more to this then you can see I am sure.

 

Hugs to you and in the scheme of things I hope this child finds a home.

[evoria 19]

On ‎8‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 1:17 AM, Auds said:

 

I thought your husband was not sure of parentage!  I am surprised he now says he never touched the girl?!?  Why do the test in the first place...

 

Sister has taken on child raising a random child - I am sure she would have believed her brother if he clearly said to her he did not sleep with the random woman - there is more to this then you can see I am sure.

 

Hugs to you and in the scheme of things I hope this child finds a home.

My Husband has always said that, the boy was not his son.  There is a lot I did not post because it was not relevant to what I feel is the most important part of this story, a small boy with no family.  The backstory is on one trip to Ghana the mother did come to the house while I was there, screaming and shouting that he was her child's father and my husband said he was not.  Again, as a woman, old and  smart enough to understand that  men can get in to trouble and lie.  My objective was to try and understand both sides, however that day she was so crazy we could never have a real dialogue. Sometime after I left Ghana and my husband was in the US she dropped the kid off at my Mother-in-laws and left.   Although the boy is about 5 now (of course we really have no idea) the question of if he did or did not sleep with the girl at this point makes no difference. I still want to try and do what is best for the boy, so when my husband goes home in December we will take the advice of many here and started with finding a lawyer, and locating the mother, and trying to understand the process for adoption.  I have read stories that this may take several years, and by Gods grace we have several years of him living with my sister in law where he is safe and loved.  Meanwhile I will continue to be his Aunty and buy him clothes and toys and praying he grows up never knowing what really happen and he can believe my husband is his dad, or uncle or whatever.  

[Abies 1,713]

On Thursday, July 06, 2017 at 11:38 AM, evoria said:

Prior to coming to the US a girl accused my Husband of being her son's father.  We were already married, I was in the US.  My husband has since become a US citizen and the girl 3 years ago dropped the child off at my mother-in-laws and she has never been heard from again.  My sister-in-law has been raising him, however she is not well.  If something happens to her he will be in the street or in a orphanage.      I want to bring him to the US.  I am not sure how to proceed.  We can say he is my husband's son however I am sure they will request a DNA because he was born after or no soon after we were married.  If the DNA test proves he is not then there is no way to get him here because he is not family. So question, should my husband get a custody document and we say son and pray they will not request a DNA, or can someone offer a better solution? 

Adoption should be the safest means for you guys in this situation since your husband is from a high fraud country(Ghana). If at all you want a DNA,do it on your own before filing&if the result is positive,your husband should file for him as his son but it's negative,I will recommend you both adopt the child. 

Edited September 17, 2017 by Abies

[Boiler 43,684]

5 minutes ago, Abies said:

Adoption should be the safest means for you guys in this situation. If at all you want a DNA,do it on your own before filing&if the result is positive,your husband should file for him as his son but it's negative,I will recommend you both adopt the child. 

They did the DNA, did you read the thread?