Need to cancel an approved K-1 Fiance visa [merged threads]

[Umka36 781]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/224668-how-to-cancel-or-withdraw-k-1-petition/

[Harmonia 211]

Most of the other 33 year olds around me... *Do* have spouses and kids.

Well, I'm about your age and that's not the case in my social circle. Perhaps your friends can set you up with someone? Either way, I really reocmmend counseling for you. I would find it difficult if not impossible to be thinking about the lifetime commitment of marriage after having a long distance penpal/skype buddy for a few months.

[JenniferNangel 137]

Well, I'm about your age and that's not the case in my social circle. Perhaps your friends can set you up with someone? Either way, I really reocmmend counseling for you. I would find it difficult if not impossible to be thinking about the lifetime commitment of marriage after having a long distance penpal/skype buddy for a few months.

I agree with you i knew my husband 3 years and he wAs my best friend first it's stressful having a new baby and being newly married and I couldn't imagine rushing into either with someone I barely knew

[geowrian 22,335]

Well, I'm about your age and that's not the case in my social circle. Perhaps your friends can set you up with someone? Either way, I really reocmmend counseling for you. I would find it difficult if not impossible to be thinking about the lifetime commitment of marriage after having a long distance penpal/skype buddy for a few months.

Seconded. I'm exactly 33 and only now found somebody. It likely could have taken another 5, 10 years. Counseling is probably a good idea as you (the OP, not Harmonia) have been through some tough issues.

[Catuela 16]

I like jfox did a second petition close to the other and my husband is the best thing that happened to me.

The CO didn't even ask about previous petition.

I filed my imbra waiver and that was the end of the first one when I applied for my now husband.

I did mail the embassy cancel previous.

I wish OP the same luck I have had thus far.

[dawning 212]

Women who have children in their 40s are extremely lucky, and are also risking all manner of birth defects. My sister had a child at 40... and she was *VERY* lucky.

In regards to the biological clock issue, we had our first child when I was 38 and my wife was 35 and our second 2 years later. One thing I'll agree on is that having kids later is hard, because they can physically wear you out. It's what keeps my wife and I physically active whether we want to or not.

OP, just officially withdraw the first K1 petition. Enjoy your trip, and go from there. I doubt you will have any issues filing another K1 petition when your are ready to do it again.

Glad that's the only thing you got from my message.

Not sure how common birth defects are for woman in there 40s but like you said your sister had a child in her 40s that is without birth defects. Maybe the same people who say that also are the ones who are saying vaccines causes autism but that won't stop me from giving my daughter her shots

Best of luck to you just don't ignore the red flags if they appear and take some time to really get to know this woman that's all I was saying

Yes, there are lots of women who have no trouble getting pregnant and giving birth in their late 30's and their 40's. It is however, a much lower percentage than women who find the above easy in their 20's. And mainstream medicine does warn that the risks of certain birth defects, with Down's syndrome being the most common, increase dramatically after the age of 35, and are much higher by 40. There is some recent research that indicates that the age of the father may play a role as well. Personally, I don't think that's a reason not to have a child if you find yourself in a situation where you want to at age 40, but it might be a reason that some people prefer to try to have children earlier, I would imagine especially if they have a family history of birth defects.

As to the energy thing, I had health problems in my 20's which really sapped my energy, an I remember being glad I didn't have the responsibility of looking after small children at the time. I had a child at 34, and another at 36, and now a couple of years later feel much more capable of the level of activity required than I did 10 - 15 years ago. It's also worth noting that waiting till the 30's to have children has become fairly much a norm in the US, but is definitely not so in many other countries, especially developing countries.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is really individual. To the OP, if you feel that this new woman in your life might be "The One" please feel free to go and check it out and see how the relationship develops. The consensus of the group here is that the previous unused petition, once properly cancelled, should not present an insurmountable obstacle to bringing your new love to the US. You might also like to live with her in Thailand for a while... English teaching is something you might be able to do there as well. While the people cautioning you to slow down and be careful have a point, it doesn't mean don't try relationships, it means something more like try not to be so desperate about it, which I think is really worth considering.

Best of luck!

[AlinaB 43]

Women who have children in their 40s are extremely lucky, and are also risking all manner of birth defects. My sister had a child at 40... and she was *VERY* lucky.

Anthropologist PhD weighing in here - this is based on VERY antiquated research. Pregnancy in "older" women is being researched more readily and has not found to be as great as risk as previously thought (in the late 19th, early 20th century, where this idea spawned). Also, don't rush into something because "you really want kids". This is not wise for many reasons. Listen to the advice given to you on this thread. It is great to know that you both eventually want to have children, but slow down and make sure that child will grow up in a loving home first.

One last piece of advice: If you are really concerned about a future with children, have a semen analysis done now. It is staggering the amount of men who have 0 or little sperm, especially as they age and their testosterone drops. (This is from very recent research.) Nor do you know what her fertile state is. If you think a an intercultural relationship is difficult when you rush things, add infertility while trying to conceive into the mix. I'm not saying that both you and her need to get yourselves tested before entering a relationship, just food for thought. Life always provides the unexpected.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Anthropologist PhD weighing in here - this is based on VERY antiquated research. Pregnancy in "older" women is being researched more readily and has not found to be as great as risk as previously thought (in the late 19th, early 20th century, where this idea spawned). Also, don't rush into something because "you really want kids". This is not wise for many reasons. Listen to the advice given to you on this thread. It is great to know that you both eventually want to have children, but slow down and make sure that child will grow up in a loving home first.

One last piece of advice: If you are really concerned about a future with children, have a semen analysis done now. It is staggering the amount of men who have 0 or little sperm, especially as they age and their testosterone drops. (This is from very recent research.) Nor do you know what her fertile state is. If you think a an intercultural relationship is difficult when you rush things, add infertility while trying to conceive into the mix. I'm not saying that both you and her need to get yourselves tested before entering a relationship, just food for thought. Life always provides the unexpected.

One important NOTE: Do not take testosterone replacement therapy if you have low T. Talk to an endocrinologist first. Low T and doctor prescribed testosterone cream made me STERILE. I had to

stop using the cream and took other medications as prescribed by my doctor to get my body to start producing sperm again. Took 6 months for my testicles to begin doing their job again.

Thankfully my wife and I are now pregnant and due in March 2017.

Good luck and don't rush. God Bless and Merry Christmas David

[AlinaB 43]

One important NOTE: Do not take testosterone replacement therapy if you have low T. Talk to an endocrinologist first. Low T and doctor prescribed testosterone cream made me STERILE. I had to

stop using the cream and took other medications as prescribed by my doctor to get my body to start producing sperm again. Took 6 months for my testicles to begin doing their job again.

Thankfully my wife and I are now pregnant and due in March 2017.

Good luck and don't rush. God Bless and Merry Christmas David

OH YES - You absolutely must see a doctor first. Any hormone is a delicate balance connected to a bio-feedback loop. You can't just add in more T with supplements or creams and expect things to work. (Not that I think you have low T - just don't load up on this stuff out of fear - go to a doctor if you are concerned.)

[QueenComley 295]

With comparing the average age people have children in america to my home country (UK), it varies wildly. It seems to me in America people tend to start familys and get married relitivly young... In the UK marriage and babies are extremely common in your 30's and 40's. Although you say that the reason you are rushing is because both yalls biological clocks are ticking I would urge you to slow the pace a little. I DONT have biologic children. I do however have a stepdaughter of 14 and a stepson who is about to turn 12. And boy.... kids are hard work. You better make sure that the person you plan to create a family life with is the person you truly intend to spend the rest of your life with. Dreaming of kids and a family life together through rose tinted glasses is wonderful and all, but the reality is its extremely hard work emotionally and financially. I have gained 100 gray hair and heap load of wrinkles since I became a step-mommy nearly 6 years ago LOL (we cant have children of our own), and to be quite frank my step-babies are enough for me. Meet this woman, marry her if you want. But please don't even THINK about children until several years down the line.

Edited December 22, 2016 by QueenComley

[Cathi 5,610]

do you even know for sure you ex fiance didn't show up for her interview?

[USC1961 251]

On 12/21/2016 at 10:56 AM, JFox762 said:

Most of the other 33 year olds around me... *Do* have spouses and kids.

What is best for your circle of acquaintances and friends is not necessarily the best thing for you.  I learned this the hard way coming from a background that was heavily tied to religion and family.  After 2 failed relationships the realization came that some of the worst advice I ever received, was from well intended people.  Point being make decisions based on what works best for you personally.  Start gaining some self confidence and try not to worry about what the circle around you thinks.  Those people who are true friends will support you even if they don't agree. 

 

Having said that take some time and figure out what you really want.  A serious relationship isn't something to rush into.  Once you know what you are looking for it makes it easier to say no, if she is not the right one.  It's best to wait for the right person to come along, instead of rushing into a bad situation.  Then having to deal with the unpleasant consequences.  Good luck!