issue with my wife domestic violence

[Opadm 0]

Good morning guys,
I am from france. I was in h1b for 6 years. I m in united states since 9 years. I have my daughter 4 years old here and she is born here from a previous marriage. My ex wife was not a us citizen. I married now to us citizen since December 2015. She applied for me to a green card. I m also out of status because i overstayed in my h1b visa. I just got my ead card and ap. My probem is my new wife is very abusive. She control me financially because i m unemployed . It has been raf with a lot of stress until i got my ead. Before she wanted to stop everything saying we have to go to the lawyer to stop my immigration. I have sms on that. Now she wants to go the interview may be in september this year. Yesterday she was saying if i dont respect her i have to return in france so i can have a new girl friend. Since 7 months she doesnt give food to me. I have to find in march a job in a restaurant so i can feed myself and have a little bit money. She asked me 400 dollars to pay the rent so i did. I know she is not paying the rent in full so the landlord whant we leave in august 1. We dont have a place to go because she cannot pay 10000 in security deposit. May be i will be homeless. I just last week open a bank account she paid his son summer camp 1800 . She deposited 1400 i took that money in my account to pay my bills phone car interviews for a job. She also broke two tires in my car so i stay home. She force me to resign to search a better job because she was saying to take the money from the join account. I did and after she said i cannot do that. She doesnt want to take pictures with me because she said to be fatty. So i have 5 pictures from my marriage.that s it. The irs she doesnt wanted to fill the tax she asked me after to put an aleatory number and to fill with my cpa. I didnt because i dont want to lie to the irs.if i go to the interview i have no pictures, no irs tax, nothing. Just pictures an empty fridge, the fights every day in my cell phone. She hopes the immigration will read that. She is saying i m with her for immigration purposes. The landlord see me as a boyfriend . She never said i was married. His ex husband was threatning me and her saying i paid her who is not true. My lawyer submitted my application quickly because his husband was threating me to call ppl from social work to protect his don who is with us. I spent two weks in new york city as a sanctuary because i live in long island. Emotinally i have enougth. Yesterday she wanted to evict me because i took money from the join account. I m lucky because i found someone who gives me food but noe i have money for food. I leave my aprtment at 8 am to return to my apartment at 1am when everybody is sleeping. His son is sleeping with her every night because he has add since my marriage. He is 10. ( removed) now she is cheating in pof with guys. I have pics of it cell and computer. (removed). She humiliate me in front of his sister. His family stay away from me because she doesnt want contact with me. I cannot have friends and she want to know every day where i go. I am enough . Can someone help me? I want to stay here and work here. It s a nigtmare. I dont want to call the cops. I dont want any issue because my out of ststus.

Inappropriate information removed

Edited June 14, 2016 by Ontarkie

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Sorry for what you are going through...But you have to help yourself. You don't like the situation but you are still staying in it. You either want to do something about it or not. You said she takes money from you, but you say you are unemployed so where did you get the money? If you have money, why don't you get out and get food for yourself?

I doubt she will help you with your immigration process so there is no point in staying with her.

Get out of the home if it is unhealthy for you.

See if VAWA will apply to your case.

But staying there will not help you if things stay the same.

[Opadm 0]

Hi icez,

I cashed my retirement plan bit i run out in march . I couldnt work because the immigration process.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

you were on H1B visa, so you must have some specialized job skills.

So why can't you move back home to start fresh, instead of staying here with a bad marriage?

[drlarryclements 4]

Good morning guys,

I am from france. I was in h1b for 6 years. I m in united states since 9 years. I have my daughter 4 years old here and she is born here from a previous marriage. My ex wife was not a us citizen. I married now to us citizen since December 2015. She applied for me to a green card. I m also out of status because i overstayed in my h1b visa. I just got my ead card and ap. My probem is my new wife is very abusive. She control me financially because i m unemployed . It has been raf with a lot of stress until i got my ead. Before she wanted to stop everything saying we have to go to the lawyer to stop my immigration. I have sms on that. Now she wants to go the interview may be in september this year. Yesterday she was saying if i dont respect her i have to return in france so i can have a new girl friend. Since 7 months she doesnt give food to me. I have to find in march a job in a restaurant so i can feed myself and have a little bit money. She asked me 400 dollars to pay the rent so i did. I know she is not paying the rent in full so the landlord whant we leave in august 1. We dont have a place to go because she cannot pay 10000 in security deposit. May be i will be homeless. I just last week open a bank account she paid his son summer camp 1800 . She deposited 1400 i took that money in my account to pay my bills phone car interviews for a job. She also broke two tires in my car so i stay home. She force me to resign to search a better job because she was saying to take the money from the join account. I did and after she said i cannot do that. She doesnt want to take pictures with me because she said to be fatty. So i have 5 pictures from my marriage.that s it. The irs she doesnt wanted to fill the tax she asked me after to put an aleatory number and to fill with my cpa. I didnt because i dont want to lie to the irs.if i go to the interview i have no pictures, no irs tax, nothing. Just pictures an empty fridge, the fights every day in my cell phone. She hopes the immigration will read that. She is saying i m with her for immigration purposes. The landlord see me as a boyfriend . She never said i was married. His ex husband was threatning me and her saying i paid her who is not true. My lawyer submitted my application quickly because his husband was threating me to call ppl from social work to protect his don who is with us. I spent two weks in new york city as a sanctuary because i live in long island. Emotinally i have enougth. Yesterday she wanted to evict me because i took money from the join account. I m lucky because i found someone who gives me food but noe i have money for food. I leave my aprtment at 8 am to return to my apartment at 1am when everybody is sleeping. His son is sleeping with her every night because he has add since my marriage. He is 10. now she is cheating in pof with guys. I have pics of it cell and computer. She humiliate me in front of his sister. His family stay away from me because she doesnt want contact with me. I cannot have friends and she want to know every day where i go. I am enough . Can someone help me? I want to stay here and work here. It s a nigtmare. I dont want to call the cops. I dont want any issue because my out of ststus.

So you deliberately overstayed, are unemployed, have a dirty place to live and stay out all day instead of cleaning up the place. You are complaining that you cannot work because you did not follow the rules.

What was your question?

Edited June 14, 2016 by Ontarkie

[mat_buky 3]

I will say hang in there till you get through your journey.i have a lot of people that have gone through this.

[Ontarkie 14,280]

~~Thread moved to Effect of Major Family Changes, from AOS Family - As similar topics are discussed here.~~

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You said you have the EAD so find a job and buy yourself some food. Food problem solved.
Your AOS is pending so if she decides to not go to the interview with you or tell her side of the story at the interview

then you will be denied and have to leave the US.
Once your AOS is approved and if she (or you) files for divorce you can file for ROC with a divorce waiver.

Options:
A. Divorce and leave the USA now.
B. Stay in an abusive marriage until the process is done.

Your choice and consequences.

[LittleFox 7]

Where is your 4 years old daughter in the meantime? Is she living in the US with you? Does she have to have your wife as a stepmother? I would consider my daughter's well being paramount compare to any immigration benefits.

Your solution: move out, find a shelter/better place and an immigration lawyer.

Edited June 15, 2016 by LittleFox

[amkhan 108]

i cant believe you are bearing all this just for US GC, if you cant afford her then divorce and leave US. but if your priorty is GC only then stay calm bro.

[IguanaCouple 26]

If you were on H1B you must obviously be skilled. I have a hard time believing somebody who used to be on H1B who now has an EAD and can work freely is unable to find employment. What exactly do you do?

Were you already called in for an interview for your AOS? Most people don't get AOS interviews in which case you can take your GC, get a divorce and worry about the evidence at the time of ROC.

Forget about VAWA, she obviously has no interest in you if she's messing around on POF. Get your GC and get the hell outta Long Island and NYC. It's expensive and it basically sucks the life outta you. Lots of greener pastures.

[zkt101 38]

If you were on H1B you must obviously be skilled. I have a hard time believing somebody who used to be on H1B who now has an EAD and can work freely is unable to find employment. What exactly do you do?

Were you already called in for an interview for your AOS? Most people don't get AOS interviews in which case you can take your GC, get a divorce and worry about the evidence at the time of ROC.

Forget about VAWA, she obviously has no interest in you if she's messing around on POF. Get your GC and get the hell outta Long Island and NYC. It's expensive and it basically sucks the life outta you. Lots of greener pastures.

He has not had the interview yet, and most people with AOS application have an interview. Without her cooperation, he won't be getting a green card.

Edited June 15, 2016 by zkt101

[Sandra G. 5,051]

Considering what you described here you have an unpleasant marriage,you got married to someone with the moral compass broken.I did not read here anything considered abuse for a Vawa case.

People need to understand a bad marriage doesn't mean an abusive marriage.I handle every day cases of men and women that were abused,but your case is far from am abusive case,as I said, considering what you posted.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Considering what you described here you have an unpleasant marriage,you got married to someone with the moral compass broken.I did not read here anything considered abuse for a Vawa case.

People need to understand a bad marriage doesn't mean an abusive marriage.I handle every day cases of men and women that were abused,but your case is far from am abusive case,as I said, considering what you posted.

I thought what he described sounds like emotional abuse...but I am not an expert. So I will agree with you...

[Sandra G. 5,051]

Emotional abuse includes a repetitive pattern of isolation,intimidation, control, humiliation, degradation etc. The emotional abuse bring fear,despair,the person becomes hypervigilant, cannot sleep or eat properly. Have flashbacks of the abuse.

People who suffered mental abuse or were battered most of them have suicidal toughts, low or zero sex drive, they suffer from major depression due the abuse suffered to post traumatic disorder.

Edited June 15, 2016 by sandranj