Norms on sending money

[Ciendro 0]

I'm curious as to what other people's experiences are. My wife sends, on average $1000 per month. She contributes to half of our rent in the U.S. and makes 41% of the household income. She refuses to contribute to any other shared expenses, stating that I married her so I have to support her and that all her friends don't not have to contribute one penny. This happens at least once each month with her stating that I am a bad husband and she will find a boyfriend who will support her. I can't imagine this is the norm.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Your money is her money. Her money is her money. Sounds fair.

Kick her out.

Edited May 3, 2016 by aaron2020

[soulstriker 274]

bump that if your not working as a team in the US , theres no point to the marriage , its not the 1900s anymore its 2016

[Unlockable 7,306]

You know the answer to this. You know its not right. Marriage is a union. And of course this is not the norm for mot people. However, there are some people who are ok with this arrangement.

She is saying you married her so you have to support her yet she wants to work and make money without totally contributing?

Where does $1000 goes to?

You are probably trying to figure out what to do about it. You know communication is key. Have that difficult talk. You didn't agree to this arrangement and she has to more your (both you and her) household.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Does she send a $1,000 home every month and will not help pay the expenses of your own household? :-O

I think I would get stubborn and close down her phone and so on so she could understand that if it doesn't get paid then it can't get used.

[Greenbaum 12,258]

I love your answer Georgia16. Spot on!!!

This is what happens sometimes when marrying a Pinay. Especially when they hang out with other Pinay's who can turn a good girl bad. We see this happening from time to time.

[BJZags 17]

How long have you been married, and she's lived in the USA? This sounds very similar to my wife when she first moved here. Once she started working and learned how hard it is to make money, coupled with the expenses of living here, her tune and attitude changed drastically.

[Caryh 5,206]

If my wife said what she said, I'd be grabbing her bags and letting her know its time to pack so she can go look for that new boy friend she's talking about. I might even mention trying out her sister as my next wife, as I obviously got the defective one of the bunch.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I'm curious as to what other people's experiences are. My wife sends, on average $1000 per month. She contributes to half of our rent in the U.S. and makes 41% of the household income. She refuses to contribute to any other shared expenses, stating that I married her so I have to support her and that all her friends don't not have to contribute one penny. This happens at least once each month with her stating that I am a bad husband and she will find a boyfriend who will support her. I can't imagine this is the norm.

I would say good luck with that boyfriend and don't let the door hit you in the ####### on your way out.

That she even mentions finding a boyfriend is very concerning, even more so than the $1000 which is also way over the top.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I would say good luck with that boyfriend and don't let the door hit you in the ####### on your way out.

That she even mentions finding a boyfriend is very concerning, even more so than the $1000 which is also way over the top.

Not as bad as this one who sent the entire salary home.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/322837-i-751-denied/

Hopefully that OP does not have much financial co-mingled stuff with the selfish wife.

Can't have her cake and eat it too.

[Ciendro 0]

Thanks guys. I guess I knew its ridiculous. It became worse once she found a job that is almost all filipinas. We've been married for nearly 10 years and I love her so its tough to accept the "kick her out" response, which I've heard before of course. I can't imagine what is being done with $800-$1,400 per month every single month. I don't even want to talk to her family because I feel that either they are exploiting her or all of them are exploiting me. It doesn't help that many of her friends are married to rich americans who are, apparently, more than happy to pay for everything and attend parties where the girls don't mix with anyone but themselves or speak english and the guys just sit in the corner waiting until they are done. I've shut off wifi before and it just turns into a screaming fit for hours and I turn it on just to be done with it. When I say that I'll just buy my own groceries, it turns into another fight that I'm a bad husband and treating her like a roommate and I'm supposed to support her. They never said it was going to be like this 11 years ago! lol

[Umka36 781]

Has this been going on for the entire 10 years you've been married?

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Sorry to say but.. what a dumb kano

To put up all the BS for 10 years

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Do you need that money to pay bills? If it is overage, then the only problem is if you have a problem with it. If it were me in her shoes, I'd pretty firmly say that any money not needed for rent or utilities because my husband's salary was too low, was 100% mine to spend on what I pleased. This issue is super personal to each couple, though, we have a pretty traditional marriage and you two might have agreed on a more modern one. What did you agree on before you got married? Now would be the time to refer back to that.

[Ciendro 0]

Has this been going on for the entire 10 years you've been married?

Its been worse since she started working and immersed completely amongst filipinas 24x7 at work, at home and on weekends.