I think my friend is falling victim to marriage fraud. Advice?

[Wintertime 0]

Hello,

I am very concerned that my friend is falling victim to marriage fraud. Here is the back story...we are both 29 year old American women. In November 2015 we went to Tangiers Morocco on vacation. While there we met this Moroccan guy that came up to us while we were in a tourist part of town. He was very friendly and helpful. He was somewhat flirty with both of us, but I was not receptive. So he started focusing his attention on my friend, who was very receptive, even though she had a serious boyfriend back home. I thought she just liked the attention and didn't think it was a big deal - she was just having fun on vacation. Last night there the two of them basically spent it off on their own, and I stayed in. The next day she told me she kissed him. Okay, not a huge deal, they didn't have sex (so she claims). She also says the guy brought up marriage, which I thought was a little weird, but didn't think anything of it because it was so bizarre, no way I thought she could possibly be taking it serious. Fast forward a couple months and I find out through a mutual friend that she has fallen in love with this guy over the internet, texting, etc. She broke up with her boyfriend. She is going back to Tangiers in April and plans on marrying this guy. She has been taking steps to hide this marriage from friends and family, but our mutual friend found out because she saw the marriage papers etc. So here are the warning signs that makes it seem like the whole thing is him using her.

- Brought up marriage soon after meeting. He basically proposed after less than a week of knowing her.

- She said he told her he loves her the day after she left.

- She said he makes her feel special, and that no man has made her feel so wanted before. Apparently this is a pattern with Morocco men looking for green card.

- They now have marriage plans which she is keeping secret. Why the secrecy? She even lied about the plans when directly questioned.

- This guy expressed interest to me about the feasibility of working in the US. He claimed to have a college degree.

- He seemed very interested in Americans and American culture. I got the feeling he had made efforts to meet many Americans and Europeans before he met us.

- Now has concrete plans to marry this guy after only a few months. They don't know each other!

I don't know...this whole thing seems way off to me and everyone else I've talked to. She is head over heels in love and won't look at any of the warning signs, and is marrying this guy. What is the rush to marriage? She won't listen to me when I tell her that her getting married this soon is crazy...even without all the warning signs that he might not care about her at all, and this is all him using her to get a greencard. She doesn't get that this could end up with her being emotionally devastated and financially taken advantage of. She refuses to listen.

Its so weird because the guy seemed so nice and sincere. Are people really this good at manipulating and using other people with no concern for them whatsoever?

So does this sound like marriage fraud? Is there anything I can do to stop it?

Please help - I feel so helpless and confused.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Wintertime

[D N Medellin COL 75]

No nothing you can do but with her family and her good friends to try to reason with her. No judgmental attitude just with love talk with her.

If it walks and talks like a duck it is probably a duck so yes she is falling hard for this guys manipulations. I must warn you that it is like watching a train wreck in motion and there is nothing you can say or do but sit and watch the wreck unfold.

Some people marry for love, some for a season and some for a reason which could be a hard life lesson in your girl friends life.

Good luck.

[Georgia16 2,858]

She is a grown women who os 29 years old so she can make up her own decisions in life. No you can not stop her.

But you can tell her what you feel and then it is up to her to listen or not.

[Caryh 5,206]

All I'll say is there are many legit marriages here that have started under similar situations.

[Wintertime 0]

Thanks very much for your reply.

I was wondering if there is anything I can do in terms of reporting it to the authorities?

Aren't there offices that investigate fraud. If I could stop this marriage wouldn't this guy realize my friend is too much trouble and then move on. So instead of her being used for years it will all happen quickly. Like you said it really does look like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It seems to me if he loves her he will wait for her, but if the marriage seems like it won't work out and he is only it for the green card he will disappear from her life.

There is no way she can survive that level of deceipt and betrayal. The whole reason she fell for this is she really needs to feel loved...more than anyone else I've ever met. I'm sure everyone gets hurt by this stuff, but I really feel like my friend is very vulnerable. She is so sweet and naive and lives in a fantasy world.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Wintertime

[Transborderwife 4,666]

She's going to make her own mistakes. USCIS would want some sort of proof for investigation.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Thanks very much for your reply.

I was wondering if there is anything I can do in terms of reporting it to the authorities?

Aren't there offices that investigate fraud. If I could stop this marriage wouldn't this guy realize my friend is too much trouble and then move on. So instead of her being used for years it will all happen quickly. Like you said it really does look like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

There is no way she can survive that level of deceipt and betrayal. The whole reason she fell for this is she really needs to feel loved...more than anyone else I've ever met. I'm sure everyone gets hurt by this stuff, but I really feel like my friend is very vulnerable. She is so sweet and naive and lives in a fantasy world.

What will you report? .... That you think some guy is thinking about doing fraud? You can hear that you just can't do that.

You can sit done with your friend and aks why in such hurry and why it has to be a secret? Try and show you support then she might open up and listen instead even though you might have another agenda.

Does she realize that it thats a year for a CR-1 visa to get approved and that he has to wait down there while it is processed and that it is a difficult country to get approved at with little evidence and that it might take 1-2 years is she ready to wait for that? talk to her about all of these things too.

[Caryh 5,206]

Thanks very much for your reply.

I was wondering if there is anything I can do in terms of reporting it to the authorities?

Aren't there offices that investigate fraud. If I could stop this marriage wouldn't this guy realize my friend is too much trouble and then move on. So instead of her being used for years it will all happen quickly. Like you said it really does look like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It seems to me if he loves her he will wait for her, but if the marriage seems like it won't work out and he is only it for the green card he will disappear from her life.

There is no way she can survive that level of deceipt and betrayal. The whole reason she fell for this is she really needs to feel loved...more than anyone else I've ever met. I'm sure everyone gets hurt by this stuff, but I really feel like my friend is very vulnerable. She is so sweet and naive and lives in a fantasy world.

No there is no way of stopping this other than to convince her to wait. The government in no way gets involved in stopping anyone from marrying who they want, be it a mistake or not. I think many of us in the community of Americans married to foreigners have watched train wrecks happen. The harder you push to stop the person, the more they will push you away. And sometimes you're surprised when what you thought would be a train wreck turns into a very good marriage and relationships you thought were perfect turn into train wrecks.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

I love that you're such a caring and loving friend. Maybe look up some stories of past VJers to show her. Possibly she could just go for another visit in April and hold off on the marriage plans. But you cannot force her to do that. All you can do is have a talk with her as a concerned friend and point out these same issues to her that you did here. Maybe show her this thread. Sometimes these types of men prey on the weak and need to be loved types. Look and Danielle and Mohammad from 90 Day fiance. Watch some of those episodes with her. Let her know you're not hating just concerned for her well being.

In the end, all you can do is be there for her.

Edited February 17, 2016 by LionessDeon

[Wintertime 0]

What will you report? .... That you think some guy is thinking about doing fraud? You can hear that you just can't do that.

You can sit done with your friend and aks why in such hurry and why it has to be a secret? Try and show you support then she might open up and listen instead even though you might have another agenda.

Does she realize that it thats a year for a CR-1 visa to get approved and that he has to wait down there while it is processed and that it is a difficult country to get approved at with little evidence and that it might take 1-2 years is she ready to wait for that? talk to her about all of these things too.

Isn't it a red flag that this guy is trying to marry her after two months? What else do you need to know? There is obviously something way off with people getting married that soon.

If the country is difficult to get approved with little evidence than why do I even have to report this guy? If its so hard to approve wont they just look that theyve only met in person once as evidence that it isn't a real relationship.

[Boiler 43,437]

Such a common situation is has become rather a joke, even a TV series about it as mentioned above.

There are certain red flags as they are called on this site.

Younger male, different ethnicity, religion, lady might be on the large side, divorced, children etc etc. All things that would not be accepted locally but the prospect of a Green Card changes the equation.

for the guy it may be the only realistic way out.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Here are some stories to share wit her:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/402889-failed-marriagemarriage-fraud-suspected/

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/473412-a-moroccan-man-just-gave-me-some-adviceyou-may-not-like-it-tho/

Just let her know you are concerned and you want her to just consider slowing down a bit to be sure its real. It takes alot of time (face time) to really get to know someone. Anyone can say anything. Words are easy.

In order for your report of fraud to have merit it must be backed with evidence. They simply do not have time to investigate every "I think it may be fraud" report. Just the way it is.

Edited February 17, 2016 by LionessDeon

[Yoveeta 36]

If she has pink glasses on you can't do much, and if you try to ''break their love apart'' she will trust you even less.. Tell her that you support her, but you are worried.. Don't say that she is stupid to trust him, or that guy only wants you because of visa (it hurts that your friend thinks that you can't be loved). Make her trust you, and than you can share your concerns with her.. Don't make plans how to get rid of him, just think about something to create security net for her.

[Unlockable 7,306]

Hi Wintertime.

Two things:

1. Your friend is an adult and even though her decisions may seem bad they are hers. Trust me, I have had many friends and family that made horrendous decisions despite being told otherwise. You seem like a very good friend who is concerned, Maybe try talking to her into taking time to think about things. But from my experience coming straight out and telling a person who is at that level that they are making a huge mistake often drives a wedge in your friendship.

2. Based on the information you provided there is no way to truly prove "fraud" at this point. There is no way an officer can tell someone they don't really love someone. There are no investigators that will use their resources to do so. Especially if at this stage he hasn't migrated yet. No one can prevent a marriage based on feeling that the other person isn't sincere. Hell, half of my family wouldn't be married today if that was the case.

It is an unfortunate situation but continue to do the best you can for your friend.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Isn't it a red flag that this guy is trying to marry her after two months? What else do you need to know? There is obviously something way off with people getting married that soon.

If the country is difficult to get approved with little evidence than why do I even have to report this guy? If its so hard to approve wont they just look that theyve only met in person once as evidence that it isn't a real relationship.

Actually it's not a red flag. You only need to meet once and show proof. They may get asked for subsequent proof but there's no set time to know someone