Visiting my american boyfriend with an ESTA for long time

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Why would you do this and not do the first visit and a K1/I-129F for the second? How long are you going to basically keep living in America without getting married? Relatives have a right to reside in America, not girlfriends who like to play house.

[njs051914 52]

First of all, we don't have the same life and problems. Yeah, you see your husband for a week a time that's sad. I'm with my boyfriend since more than a year, went 10 days in August and 9 in September last year that's it. That's how I know we won't hate each other. I've met his sister, his parents and the rest of the family. They all were really nice to me. Then, several short visits are great when you have plenty of money to spend on plane tickets. I don't. And I'm not crazy or stupid : I've asked before bying plane tickets. Thanks.

I could just be reading it wrong, but this sounds pretty rude and inflammatory, not to mention childish. Interesting that you would refer to couple not being able to see each other as often as they would like to as a "problem" here on a site where 90% of members have to deal with the exact same thing.

What people are telling you is correct. What you are trying to use the VWP for is not its intended use, and it's very likely you will receive scrutiny for such long visits. You never answered the question, but since you are able to stay away from your home country for so long I am going to assume that you do not. Without a job or anything to prove that you have a reason to return to France your case is weak, at best. I can't see any diligent CBP allowing it, but you could get lucky. Only thing you risk is that your VWP privileges could be revoked for good and your chances of getting a visitor Visa in the future will also become virtually non-existent.

Personally, I hope you rethink what you are doing. Not for your own sake, but for everyone who uses the VWP as it is intended for. These people could possible end up getting screwed over by people who dance around the rules like you are doing.

[Boiler 46,944]

People have done it, I have no idea if you will also be so fortunate.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

Joining this site has really embittered me towards the VWP, which is unfortunate...

Usually advice posted on topics like these gets generally ignored, so I guess I will just echo what has generally been put forward in an attempt to prevent that from happening.

Prepare for the possibility of being questioned about the length and frequency of your stays, bring proof of ties to your country, cross your fingers you get a CBP officer who is having a good day I guess.

Good luck..

Edited February 6, 2016 by MorganandMichael

[mallafri76 1,012]

To an immigration officer, it will look like you intend to live her for 6 months with a brief visit abroad. That could be deemed a violation where you can lose your VWP privilege and be denied entry. Your risk to take or not. Best of luck.

Aaron, you beat me to it. I was gonna say it looks like OP wants to live in the US with a few weeks back in France for Christmas.

Lots of us here on VJ have done the long distance relationship thing for years, flying back and forth to visit for shorter periods of time. That's the wonderful thing about the VWP, it allows you to visit the US as a tourist for a period of time ( max 90 days) without having to apply for a visa. Staying 90 days, flying "home" for three weeks and then coming back to the US again for 90 days is not visiting, that's living in the US. I can't imagine any CBP letting you through on your trip back in January for another 90 days, especially not since you don't have any strong ties to France. And once you've been denied entry, you can't use the VWP again. My advice would be to either spend a longer period back in France or have your American boyfriend visit you in France in January instead.

Edited February 6, 2016 by mallafri76

[Hypnos 6,579]

First trip will probably be uneventful; the second is far more dicey.

[tomriesgo 39]

Hello everyone,

So here's my problem : I would really like to visit my boyfriend in Alabama from the 15th of September to the 9th of December. Than come back home (France) and visit him again from the 2nd of January to the 28th of March. Normally (i'm bad in mathematics) it makes less than 90 days each time (in case of problems with planes, or being sick etc.). So the first trip would be in 2016 and the other one in 2017 : does it help ? Also, I'll be there with an ESTA not a visa. So it makes things "more complicated" kind of. My boyfriend is Senior Airman in US Air Force. Do you think a letter would help ? If he explains them i have no intention of working, that if there's extra money to spend, he'll take care of it, and so on ?

We know that making a visa would be better.. But we need to know how's life together before doing it...

What can I do.. ?

I've done this in the past a lot, sometimes you'll get stopped and they'll ask a few questions but other times its nothing. Prove you have ties to your home country as in bring something like a rent agreement or mortgage letter or employment verification in the worst case. It really depends on who you talk at immigration. Dallas now has automated machines for people on an ESTA so at first point you have no interaction or anyone asking those sort of questions.

[samkam 3]

I guess it really does depend on the CBP that you get upon entry. I am Australian and have spent a total of 8 months in the USA, 2 months in other countries and 1 month in my home country (Australia) in the last year. Each time I have travelled using the ESTA program and have never lied to the CBP's about why I will be in the USA. I just let them know I'm visiting my boyfriend and other friends, going to graduate school in Australia and have a fair amount of money in the bank. The only time I was asked more than a couple of questions was on my entry two times ago - he asked how I could afford to spend so much time abroad whilst being a full-time student. I just let him know I had been working and studying full-time for years and decided that I would rather spend my younger years travelling and having fun than being bound to a mortgage, job etc.

Just be honest and if your circumstances aren't suspicious I think you will be fine