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Chief Mrs. Edeh

This is a difficult process and I miss my husband.

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I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.

I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.

I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...

I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

Edited by Chief Mrs. Edeh

USCIS

07/10/2015: I-130 Mailed

07/15/2015: NOA1 (Nebraska Service Center)

10/16/2015: Case Transferred (Potomac Service Center)

12/01/2015: NOA2 (139 Days from NOA1)

NVC

12/11/2015: NVC Received

12/23/2015: NVC Case Number and IIN Assigned

12/24/2015: DS-261 Submitted

12/24/2015: AOS Fee Available and Paid (In Process)

12/31/2015: IV Application Fee Available and Paid (In Process)

12/31/2015: Hardcopy NVC Welcome Letter Arrived

01/04/2015: AOS Fee Paid (Complete)

01/05/2016: IV Application Fee Paid (Complete)

01/06/2016: DS-260 Available

01/16/2016: DS-260 Submitted

01/29/2016: AOS and IV Package Mailed (w/out South African Police Clearance)

02/03/2016: AOS and IV Package Scanned

02/18/2016: South African Police Clearance Mailed

02/19/2016: South African Police Clearance Scanned

03/22/2016: Case Complete

03/29/2016: Interview Date Scheduled

Embassy

05/16/2016: Interviewed and APPROVED! (306 Days from NOA1)

05/25/2016: Visa Pickup

06/01/2016: Leave Nigeria

06/02/2016: Arrive in US

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Sure, I can relate. We have a nice little drama free facebook group where you can share and encourage one another.

If interested inbox me.

My now husband and I had a 5 year long K1 journey, first K1 refused after 16 months of AP and the 2. K1 was successful, so yeah I get what you mean.

Best wishes for a speedy reunion !


Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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I try to ground myself during this whole ordeal by telling myself that this will all be over soon enough. Think of it this way: this stretch of time that you and your husband are living apart and dealing with the whole immigration process, when all is said and done, will make up such a small amount of time compared to your whole relationship and the rest of your lives together. This will soon become a distant memory!

Trust me, as much as it hurts, you will get through this :) Focus on the positives, keep yourself busy, get through the paperwork quickly and efficiently, and most importantly, BREATHE.


11/06: Husband EWI from Mexico
11/08: Started dating

11/11: Husband got deported
1/11/14: Got married
3/13/14-11/2/14:
I-130
1/26/15-3/17/15: NVC

5/28/15: INTERVIEW - denied

6/8/15: I-601/I-212 waivers received

11/17/15: I-601/I-212 waivers APPROVED

12/11/15: HUBBY HOME!! :dance:

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Yes, many of us can relate. Be strong and patient. Don't let immigrations suck the romance out of your relationship. There was a time during our K1 process (which was denied) that it seemed like all our conversations were about documents and forms and interview questions.... Here's some advice. I know you have to have conversations about the immigration process and forms, etc... but also make a point to have conversations and chats with a rule that talking about all that stuff is forbidden. Hang in there. Be patient. And best wishes.

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I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.

I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.

I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...

I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

Aww. I can feel your emotions right through your words. It is not an easy road at all but when you have a good honest one it's well worth it in the end. It will be an emotional roller coaster. You will laugh, cry and rejoice many times. You will feel overwhelmed and doubtful but it's the fatigue and frustration kicking in. Try and be proactive by preparing everything now. There is no way around the time difference. Just last night I feel asleep on hubby while he was all enthusiastic but it was 2am my time. You wil be tired and cranky and you two will get into it due to the separation. Pray constantly for the strength to endure this gruesome process. Family, friends and Co workers will think you're nuts since it's not the traditional way of doing things but only you and God will know that this is the right thing and right man for you. Hold on and don't let it consume you. Our Case Took 10.5 Mos WHICH Is great. Find someone who is going through this same process and become phone buddies or meet in person if close by. I met some awesome people whom I could pour my heart out to without judgment. Good luck and hugs to you

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Been there, done that, have the t shirt. I promise this will all seem like a bad dream once he's here with you. I started Foreign Wives of African Men on FB to help with those feelings. Feel free to join.

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You're not alone. This visa journey is sooooooooooo tough. Funny enough, my husband and I have been doing this long distance relationship for almost five years now and it's not until we started the visa journey that we really started struggling with the distance and the hardship. I guess it's cause once you've made the decision to be together in one country, you want it now now now and not 10 to 16 months from now. :( All the paperwork and bureaucracy sure does't help either. But I think this journey makes the relationship stronger. I mean any couple that can handle this long, hard CR/IR-1 journey has a pretty strong foundation to stand on.

I thought the same as afrocraft when I looked at your profile picture. Soooo cute together. :)


Met online October 2010


Engaged December 31st 2011


heart.gifMarried May 14th 2013 heart.gif



USCIS Stage


September 8th 2014 - Filed I-130 with Nebraska Service Center


September 16th 2014 - NOA1 received


March 2nd 2015 - NOA2 received :dancing:



NVC Stage


March 28th 2015 - Choice of agent complete & AOS fee paid


April 17th 2015 - IV fee paid


May 1st 2015 - Sent in IV application


May 12th 2015 - Sent in AOS and IV documents


May 18th 2015 - Scan Date


June 18th 2015 - Checklist received


June 22nd 2015 - Checklist response sent to NVC


June 25th 2015 - Put for Supervisor Review


Sept 15th 2015 - Request help from Texas US Senator Cornyn and his team


Sept 23rd 2015 - Our case is moved from supervisor review to NVC's team for dealing with Senator requests


Nov 4th 2015 - CASE COMPLETE!!!! :dancing:



Embassy Stage


Dec 16th 2015 - Medical exam


Dec 21st 2015 - Interview


Dec 21st 2015 - 221(g) issued at interview for updated forms


Jan 13th 2016 - Mailed our reply to the 221(g) to the US Embassy, received and CEAC updated the next morning


Jan 20th 2016 - Embassy require more in-depth info on asset for i-864


Feb 1st 2016 - Sent more in-depth info on assets as requested. Received the next morning


Feb 16th 2016 - Visa has been issued :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:



In the US


April 5th 2016 - POE Newark. No questions asked.


April 14th 2016 - SSN received


May 10th 2016 - First day at my new job :dancing:


May 27th 2016 - Green Card received


June 7th 2016 - Got my Texas driver's license

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Moved from Process & Procedures to Progress Reports.


Our journey:

Spoiler

September 2007: Met online via social networking site (MySpace); began exchanging messages.
March 26, 2009: We become a couple!
September 10, 2009: Arrived for first meeting in-person!
June 17, 2010: Arrived for second in-person meeting and start of travel together to other areas of China!
June 21, 2010: Engaged!!!
September 1, 2010: Switched course from K1 to CR-1
December 8, 2010: Wedding date set; it will be on February 18, 2011!
February 9, 2011: Depart for China
February 11, 2011: Registered for marriage in Wuhan, officially married!!!
February 18, 2011: Wedding ceremony in Shiyan!!!
April 22, 2011: Mailed I-130 to Chicago
April 28, 2011: Received NOA1 via text/email, file routed to CSC (priority date April 25th)
April 29, 2011: Updated
May 3, 2011: Received NOA1 hardcopy in mail
July 26, 2011: Received NOA2 via text/email!!!
July 30, 2011: Received NOA2 hardcopy in mail
August 8, 2011: NVC received file
September 1, 2011: NVC case number assigned
September 2, 2011: AOS invoice received, OPTIN email for EP sent
September 7, 2011: Paid AOS bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 9, 2011)
September 8, 2011: OPTIN email accepted, GZO number assigned
September 10, 2011: Emailed AOS package
September 12, 2011: IV bill invoiced
September 13, 2011: Paid IV bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 14, 2011)
September 14, 2011: Emailed IV package
October 3, 2011: Emailed checklist response (checklist generated due to typo on Form DS-230)
October 6, 2011: Case complete at NVC
November 10, 2011: Interview - APPROVED!!!
December 7, 2011: POE - Sea-Tac Airport

September 17, 2013: Mailed I-751 to CSC

September 23, 2013: Received NOA1 in mail (receipt date September 19th)

October 16, 2013: Biometrics Appointment

January 28, 2014: Production of new Green Card ordered

February 3, 2014: New Green Card received; done with USCIS until fall of 2023*

 

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I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.

I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.

I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...

I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

This is exactly what I went through with my husband; up to and including the part of your supporters. It weighed on me so much I actually canceled our first petition and ended up re-filing again later. We are now at the NVC stage. I wish I'd never have cancelled the first as he'd be here with me right now. I listened so much to what others were saying that I lost sight of everything that I had with my husband...and I'll always regret that. You gotta focus on what you have between you, re-read messages between you, look at pics, and remember he is going through the same exact thing you are...as are thousands of others making this journey. Chin up girl; there will come a day when none of this matters anymore and he will be standing next to you, God willing.

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I understand that :( none of my friends in real life has gone through this so I really can't talk to anybody or seek advice from. We didn't expect this to be that long and I had never experienced a long distance relationship before...

It's hard to say goodbye to my husband at the airport when we can only meet each other every 3-4months.

It sucks particularly when you or your partner is sick/upset and you are all alone...

Patience is what we have. I know some day this nightmare shall end. And it would be a unique and unforgettable memory of our lives.

And as for now, we have to try our best to love ourselves, stay healthy and happy while waiting for the reunion.

You are not alone dear. I wish I could give you a big hug because I need that too :)

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Your comment speaks to my heart... Everyday through this process I become more and more depressed. I have become withdrawn from family and friends and am barely motivated to even go to work. I just feel I am losing all this precious newlywed moments with my husband and no matter what I do I feel his presence missing to the point I no longer want to do things I use to enjoy. I never imagined this to be as hard as it has been. I have considered just quitting the process and just relocating to Nigeria myself, but reality kicks in and I know I cant be happy in Nigeria. He is so supportive and we do try to bridge the gap of distance and time difference as much as we can... But everyday is definitely a struggle. I just pray and lean on him!

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Thank you guys so much; I knew that most people here were probably going through something similar, but it really does help to hear your stories. Knowing that I'm not alone is good.


USCIS

07/10/2015: I-130 Mailed

07/15/2015: NOA1 (Nebraska Service Center)

10/16/2015: Case Transferred (Potomac Service Center)

12/01/2015: NOA2 (139 Days from NOA1)

NVC

12/11/2015: NVC Received

12/23/2015: NVC Case Number and IIN Assigned

12/24/2015: DS-261 Submitted

12/24/2015: AOS Fee Available and Paid (In Process)

12/31/2015: IV Application Fee Available and Paid (In Process)

12/31/2015: Hardcopy NVC Welcome Letter Arrived

01/04/2015: AOS Fee Paid (Complete)

01/05/2016: IV Application Fee Paid (Complete)

01/06/2016: DS-260 Available

01/16/2016: DS-260 Submitted

01/29/2016: AOS and IV Package Mailed (w/out South African Police Clearance)

02/03/2016: AOS and IV Package Scanned

02/18/2016: South African Police Clearance Mailed

02/19/2016: South African Police Clearance Scanned

03/22/2016: Case Complete

03/29/2016: Interview Date Scheduled

Embassy

05/16/2016: Interviewed and APPROVED! (306 Days from NOA1)

05/25/2016: Visa Pickup

06/01/2016: Leave Nigeria

06/02/2016: Arrive in US

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I just want to say, I know how you feel. The title here sums it up perfectcly.


Spoiler

 

Married December 19, 2014

I-130 Petition sent January 14, 2015
NOA1 date January 20, 2015 (NSC)

NOA2 date May 28, 2015 :dance::dance::dance:

Mailed to NVC June 4, 2015

NVC Received June 10, 2015

NVC Case Number Assigned June 23, 2015

NVC AoS Invoice via Mail June 24, 2015

NVC Selected Agent Over Phone June 30, 2015 (Unable to logon to CEAC)

NVC IV Invoice via email received July 1, 2015

NVC AoS/IV Package Mailed July 2, 2015

NVC AoS & IV Fee Paid Online (CEAC is working) July 6. 2015

NVC Document Scan Date July 6, 2015

NCV AoS & IV Fee marked as paid in CEAC July, 7 2015

NVC DS 260 Completed July 8, 2015

NVC CC July 30, 2015 (24 days after scan date, about 2 months post NOA2)

Interview Scheduled on August 26, 2015

Interview P4 Email Received August 27, 2015

Medical in Islamabad September 2, 2015

Interview Date September 22, 2015 CANCELLED (Embassy is Over scheduled) :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Interview Scheduled on September 10, 2015

Interview Date October 14, 2015 APPROVED

Visa Issued October 16, 2015, 9 months start to finish

POE JFK October 26, 2015

GC in Hand Jan 8, 2016

RoC I-751 NOA1 August 31, 2017 (Vermont Service Center)

Biometrics October 2, 2017

I551 Stamp in Passport August 2, 2018

18 Month Extension Letter August 3, 2018

Applied for Naturalization N-400 Online July 30, 2018

Biometrics August 23, 2018

10 year GC is in production September 17, 2018

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Your comment speaks to my heart... Everyday through this process I become more and more depressed. I have become withdrawn from family and friends and am barely motivated to even go to work. I just feel I am losing all this precious newlywed moments with my husband and no matter what I do I feel his presence missing to the point I no longer want to do things I use to enjoy. I never imagined this to be as hard as it has been. I have considered just quitting the process and just relocating to Nigeria myself, but reality kicks in and I know I cant be happy in Nigeria. He is so supportive and we do try to bridge the gap of distance and time difference as much as we can... But everyday is definitely a struggle. I just pray and lean on him!

I really relate to this. I had depression before I met my husband, but the whole process of course only made it much worse. If you've never had depression before, it can feel quite scary. You don't feel like the same person anymore.

My personal advice to the OP, you, and anyone else feeling this way:

-Focus on the victories, however small they may be (find something at least once a month to celebrate or feel thankful for)

-Focus on the small steps of the process being completed, and think about how far you've come since the start

-Family and friends have your best interest at heart, but unless they're in your relationship, they don't have the right to say if it's real or fake

-Realize the inequalities that exist between us and those who fell in love in the same country, but let that anger transform your motivation

-Transform your free time into something that will benefit you two in the future

-Make plans for how you want your lives to be, start preparing, and before you know it, things will fall into place

-Remember even when you feel all alone, your spouse is feeling the same way too

Hugs and best wishes (L)


"A million years if I could live,
A thousand lives if I could give,
I would spend it all again with you,
Don't forget where you belong,
Only with me you are strong,
Not even the gods above can break,
Baby what we have"

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