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Visa in hand, but petitioner is unemployed. Please help!

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Hello everyone, this is my very first post. I really need your help please. My K1 visa expires next month. I bought a plane ticket to the US, and the flight is in 2 weeks. I need to make a decision withint these 2 weeks and it is stressing me more that I have in my entire life. As a background, my visa was granted to me five months ago. My fiance (the petitioner) did not have a job at the time. However, he promised he would have one before I move to the US to be with him and start our life together. But to this day, he is still unemployed and living with his mother. This situation makes me beyond worried, not just for the AOS, but because he wants us to have a child together asap, which obviously isn't wise as there would be no income. The only person who could co-sponsor me for the AOS is his dad, but my fiance told me that he doesn't want to help us as he is worried he will be legally obliged to support me, and he doesn't want to have to do that. My fiance even suggested that I should remain in the US illegally, which hurt me to hear as he should want a legal status for me, if he truly loved me.

Should I:

1/ Stay here and not go to the US in 2 weeks. If so, will I have to start the process all over again once he finds a job?

2/ Or should I go there in 2 weeks, as planned, and hope that he gets a job within 90 days.

I really need your help...thanks so much in advance. :)

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My suggestions:

  • Just come. Your I-94 will expired within 90 days after you stepped in the U.S. soil. No obligation to get married within 90 days. If you both decided not to get married then you have to leave the U.S. after your I-94 expired
  • Your fiance has 90 days to find a job as soon as possible
  • If he does not have a job and you don't want to get married because of the financial problem then you can leave and started over again in the future while he finally has a job
  • You can get married, stay, and adjust your status by (maybe) borrowed money from someone you both knew. It is $1070. Don't forget to apply EAD so after your EAD is approved then you can started looking for a job

Good luck!

Edited by Girl from Celebes

Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat

- Sun Tzu-

It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop

-Confucius-

 

-I am the beneficiary and my post is not reflecting my petitioner's point of views-

 

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*Mailed I-751 package (06/21/2017) to CSC

*NOA-1 date (06/23/2017)

*NOA-1 received (06/28/2017)

*Check cashed (06/27/2017)

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Where does you fiance live, and what sort of training/job experience does he have? Ie is it likely he will get a job in his field soon, and if not, would he be willing to go work at McD's or as a cashier in Walmart?

I tend to agree with the above poster that you should come, get married, and hope for the best. I would NOT try and get pregnant until your financial situation is better, but hopefully your fiance/ then-husband will find a job soon, and then you can AOS, find a job yourself and save some money before having a baby.


Bye: Penguin

Me: Irish/ Swiss citizen, and now naturalised US citizen. Husband: USC; twin babies born Feb 08 in Ireland and a daughter in Feb 2010 in Arkansas who are all joint Irish/ USC. Did DCF (IR1) in 6 weeks via the Dublin, Ireland embassy and now living in Arkansas.

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I really appreciate your help (btw your cats are beyond precious :) ) There is a dilemma that is added to everything: I am currently working in my home-country (France) and my boss said she wants to promote me. Now I must state that it took me a LONG while (about 8 months) to find a job in this difficult economy, and it is a job I enjoy. If I do go to the US, and stay 90 days at the very least, my boss will give my job to someone else and then I'll have to return home and start all over again, with no job to support myself. It is such a tricky situation...I can barely sleep at night and my heart races..I don't know what to do and I am worried to make a mistake, one way or another.And I would never forgive myself.

Edited by AvaAdore

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It's obviously your choice, but remaining illegally in the US is not a good plan.

I would personally choose not to travel in 2 weeks. You can email the embassy about extending your visa. It's possible you could just redo the medical down the road and retain your visa. If you feel more comfortable with the situation, you could always get married (probably in your country) and apply for the spouse visa.

Are jobs difficult to come by where he lives? I would personally be much more upset if he could find a job and wasn't (there are always jobs somewhere). Maybe he needs to consider taking whatever job he can get?

I wish you the best with everything. Definitely a touch decision.


K1 Visa Process AOS Process

Mar 18 2013: I-129F mailed to CSC Nov 15 2013: I-485 with EAD/AP filed at Chicago Lockbox

Sept 19 2013: Interview - Approved!! Jan 25 2014: EAD/AP Card Received

Oct 6 2013: POE - Chicago O'Hare June 2 2014: Permanent Resident Card Received!

Oct 27 2013: Wedding!

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Where does you fiance live, and what sort of training/job experience does he have? Ie is it likely he will get a job in his field soon, and if not, would he be willing to go work at McD's or as a cashier in Walmart?

I tend to agree with the above poster that you should come, get married, and hope for the best. I would NOT try and get pregnant until your financial situation is better, but hopefully your fiance/ then-husband will find a job soon, and then you can AOS, find a job yourself and save some money before having a baby.

Greetings :) thanks for your reply as well, it means so much to me to realise I may feel alone, but there are lovely people out there who have compassion. He lives in California, in a small town. He has a sound engineering certificate, but somehow he hasn't been serious about his job search and hasn't applied as much as he should have (which disheartened me but he said he couldn't handle the stress of the job search :/ .. ) . We have had ups and downs, and in the difficult moment all he wanted was to play video games, and go to music shows, as opposed to looking for more jobs. When I confronted him about this, he said he still had plenty of time, but time flew by and nothing happened :( . As to being pregnant, I know he really wants a child, he even told me once that the only point of getting married is to have children, otherwise he sees little purpose in this.

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It's obviously your choice, but remaining illegally in the US is not a good plan.

I would personally choose not to travel in 2 weeks. You can email the embassy about extending your visa. It's possible you could just redo the medical down the road and retain your visa. If you feel more comfortable with the situation, you could always get married (probably in your country) and apply for the spouse visa.

Are jobs difficult to come by where he lives? I would personally be much more upset if he could find a job and wasn't (there are always jobs somewhere). Maybe he needs to consider taking whatever job he can get?

I wish you the best with everything. Definitely a touch decision.

Hi Sarah, I understand that side of things as well. I was shocked when he told me that I didn't really need the AOS ("plenty of people stay illegally" was what he then mentioned). I was hurt to hear that but tried not to focus on it...didn't want to cause an argument.

Emailing the embassy that granted me my visa is an idea. Do you know how long they can extend it?

He could find a job but he hasn't put as much effort into it as he should have, because he said he was stressed out. We have had difficult moments because at times he completely shut me down and changed his mood and priorities out of the blue. But I give him the benefit of the doubt.

Edited by AvaAdore

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Perhaps he could move to France as you have a good job?


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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I respect my friends GFC opinion while offering mine as another perspective.

In all of this time you have waited for the process & things to be right before you came here which will be life changing no doubt. His promise may have been sincere but he hasn't found a way to really fulfill possibly the most serious promise.

Coming here with knowing this with the pressure of impending marriage ect is perhaps a little too much. You will make a huge sacrifice which will include your family to some extent.

With no known joint sponsor for the AOS there could be a real problem in the future. How will you be supported thru all of this? Mom?

The suggestion that you would remain in the USA illegally is irresponsible at best & self centered. Don't plan on anything other than following the laws.

You are lucky to be from a VWP country so I wouldn't do anything to affect that status. You could use your ticket & time to come to visit & see first hand what life may be like for a short time.

No one can say what you should do other than to weigh the facts as they are. To me the first hole in the road shouldn't be created by the man I love especially if he has plenty of time to fill it for me.

Hello Ning :) Yes, it hurts me a lot, I see you understand my emotions, it is really painful for me to be in such a confusing situation. And you're right about the fact that it's a huge sacrifice, and I haven't even told my family that he is unemployed. I am so afraid of their reaction. How will I be supported through all this? well he asked me if I had some savings, and I have about 4,000 dollars, so he said I can live with that, and when he finds a job he will support me. And what do you mean when you said that me leaving wouldn't do anything to affect my status?

I agree...I tried to tell him that, but he said he doesn't want to hear complaints.

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I really appreciate your help (btw your cats are beyond precious :) ) There is a dilemma that is added to everything: I am currently working in my home-country (France) and my boss said she wants to promote me. Now I must state that it took me a LONG while (about 8 months) to find a job in this difficult economy, and it is a job I enjoy. If I do go to the US, and stay 90 days at the very least, my boss will give my job to someone else and then I'll have to return home and start all over again, with no job to support myself. It is such a tricky situation...I can barely sleep at night and my heart races..I don't know what to do and I am worried to make a mistake, one way or another.And I would never forgive myself.

My cats sent you warm hugs! Thank you!

Anyhow, that's a tough call, I have to admit. Though I did not have a same dilemma like yours but leaving a good job and that you are really enjoyed it a lot, I feel related to you.

Also long distance relationship is really hard working. If you both don't mind being separated for a while then I suggested just follow your initial plan, come here to visit and see what happens. If you don't try to come and observing the whole situation then you have no idea what the reality is.

Just use your K-1 visa to come. There is no repercussion for you because you decided not to get married within 90 days and it won't affect your future plan if you wanted to come here again under the same visa. Or probably any other visas.

People made mistakes and you should not feel have to blame yourself for made a choice.


Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat

- Sun Tzu-

It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop

-Confucius-

 

-I am the beneficiary and my post is not reflecting my petitioner's point of views-

 

                                       Lifting Condition (I-751)

 

*Mailed I-751 package (06/21/2017) to CSC

*NOA-1 date (06/23/2017)

*NOA-1 received (06/28/2017)

*Check cashed (06/27/2017)

*Biometric Received (07/10/2017)

*Biometric Appointment (07/20/2017)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I'm sorry you got this far in the process...I would definitely end the relationship. You have a lot of good things going for you in France. He seems a bit "young" and isn't taking this serious like you are. I wish you the best of luck.

I know what you mean, it has crossed my mind that he doesn't take it as seriously as I do. He even told me that the whole tedious K1 process has drained his energy and that it made him stop loving me as the process is not exactly "romantic", and he kept reiterating how stressful it has been for him to go through that when most people just get together without paperwork to be done...But he then said he didn't mean it, and apologised. Still devastated me.

Perhaps he could move to France as you have a good job?

Hello. I suggested it. But the language is tough to learn, and he doesn't speak it. He also prefers to stay where he is.

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