VJ cliques

[BaronB 42]

From my time spent here I have noticed that VJ is similar to High School. A lot of people with similar views will band together and go out of their way to make others feel unwelcome or belittle them. This is especially true amongst the long timers, the mods and so on. If a newbie rocks up with a different point of view, they will be shunned and humiliated. Fair enough, you people control this place. But please don't labour under the illusion you are doing good in this world.

My Visa was approved, no thanks to any of the mods or long term members here.

[Cody and Daisy 373]

Well that was rude.

What you might view as belittling and unhelpful is usually just plain honesty.

This is not high school, there are not cliques.

And those that "band together" are probably agreeing with each other because they are right in what is being said.

Unless you have clear evidence that this happens, don't come on here and post something that shames people who stay after their journey is over to help others.

No one has to be here, we chose to stay because we want to help.

My visa was approved thanks to ALL of those on here that helped me.

Edited May 13, 2015 by Cody and Daisy

[Ban Hammer 12,829]

My Visa was approved, no thanks to any of the mods or long term members here.

well modding VJ does keep me from stamping "approved" on a lot of visas.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

My Visa was approved, no thanks to any of the mods or long term members here.

I didn't see you asking any questions pertaining to your I-129F or K1 visa

Glad to know your immigration path is smooth sailing.

[Umka36 781]

Personally, I just used the VJ guide as my wife's K1 process was routine with no complications. If it were, then I would have gotten a lawyer. This is a DIY site, so what more do you expect (it's free)?

[NikLR 13,220]

Congrats on the visa!

[yuna628 9,527]

I'm glad that your visa was approved and that your lawyer handled things for you appropriately. But if that's the case, why are you still here if you feel that no one contributed to helping you? It's not the mods or members job to ensure your case got approved you know? If you ask a question, people generally do answer it. If you don't like the answers you get, then it's usually not the answer you want to hear.

Personally I'm happy with the help and kindness I've received from others here. No lawyer was required and I don't believe will be needed in the future. Admittedly I've disagreed with you a few times, which is normal I should think in any society. My opinions are my own, even if others may share them, and their own opinions do not shape my mine. And I should think that would be the same with anyone here that may share a different opinion than your own.

Every forum has people with a variety of personalities that you may or may not agree with or clash with. That's life. It's easy to tell an opinionated idiot with a superiority complex from an opinionated person that's opinionated because they are actually correct. You'll think that about some people, and they will just assuredly think that about you. People have and will continue to help others here whether you think they do or not. That won't be what you want to hear either I suppose. So sorry for that.

Edited May 14, 2015 by yuna628

[clairegie 265]

If someone feels shunned, belittled or humiliated, then the person has every right to hit the report button. We truly just want to help others, which sometimes requires not sugarcoating the truth. I know I would have never completed anything without the help of a lot of people in VJ.

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. Congratulations on your approval though. I'm glad to see you still use VJ for other non visa-related concerns. At least we are still helping you in some other way. Since you had success with the process, maybe you can check in once in a while and help others be successful too. Take care.

[Lauren and Kevin 55]

It's an interesting general point to make, that people are often coming on here for different things. Some for facts, some for advice, some for re-assurance. I've certainly benefited from the opinions and facts from the members who have assisted me.

I do generally, find it easier to take the advice on board if I've not had my personal choices questioned for just asking the question - and actually no-one has..! (so far )

As a professional Tester, when we raise issues, we are always told, just present the facts - don't make it a personal issue as then the person only hears your attack and you have failed to help.

But, everyone on here, is not a professional, just normal fallible people, tempers get raised and passions aflame - and I confess when that happens I abandon reading that thread.

I feel also that people have shown remarkable self-restraint, when they are already so so stressed by this process we are all ground down by.

I also used a Lawyer, as I wanted to minimise my risks, and VJ enabled me to prepare things well in advance of his advice, and avoid all sorts of slips that yes, my legal chappie would probably have fixed - could I have left it all to him? - you bet - would I have worried and worried without reading other people's stories and advice on here definitely.

I'm sorry that you have not had a good experience on here, and I do wish you the very best with the next stages of your process

[GandD 5,966]

Since this thread is really more aimed at attacking posters on this site as opposed to the site itself, it will now be closed to further comments.

Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, harass, insult, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users.

Do not attempt to restart this thread. Doing so will mean admin action.

[Pitaya 2,576]

~Threads removed for attacking members, baiting, quoting removed threads~

~Positive administrative action taken~

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