Wife cheated on me, I'm on a conditional green card.

[Roz 1]

Me and my wife got married September 18th 2012, we filed for the green card pretty late but I finally got it in November 2013.

We have been married for over 2.5 years. But I have only had the green card for around 1.5 years and It's still on conditional status.

As the topic says. I work nights and I come home late. I usually walk my dog when I get home.

When I was on the street I noticed my wife making out and hornying up against another guy inside a car. I was shocked and my entire body became weak. I've never experienced anything like this before.

Our relationship has been good and bad, but mostly bad. Despite this we never gave up, until she did the last few months, she became distant and always came home drunk or high. And yes she's an aggressive drunk.

When she cheated on me this Sunday, things felt bad, but in a different way, I kept trying in my way, but she had totally given up. I didnt understand what was going on until I saw her with the other guy.

We had talked about taking a break from each other the same day. But seeing her doing this, one exactly the same day.. heartbreaking and devastation is not enough words for it.

She said she will move out, but she's still staying here until she can find an apartment. And while shes doing so she keeps justifying her cheating on me and keeps telling me that its been my fault that it happened.

She makes me depressed and I cant stand her, especially when shes still staying under the same roof.

She says legally Im gonna have to pay for the deposit of her new apartment and some of the rent.

I just want to not be with her anymore, I rather die than to ever see her again.

For the greencard, the proof I have of Bonafide marriage is:

- Joint signed lease for apartment

- Joint car insurace

- Joint bank accounts.

- pictures of me and her together (recent ones)

- pictures of me,her and her family together (also recent ones)

We went to couples counceling about 1 year into the marriage, I might be able to get those papers, but Im not sure.

Im anxious, depressed and now terrified that ill lose my ability to stay. I've built myself a career that I couldve never achieved in a country like Sweden that I'm from.

Am I going to be safe If i divorce her and file the I-751 early??? What should I do???

Please help me

I forgot to say we filed joint tax return for 2014. I didnt have any taxes to file for 2013.

[JNC69 0]

Me and my wife got married September 18th 2012, we filed for the green card pretty late but I finally got it in November 2013.

We have been married for over 2.5 years. But I have only had the green card for around 1.5 years and It's still on conditional status.

As the topic says. I work nights and I come home late. I usually walk my dog when I get home.

When I was on the street I noticed my wife making out and hornying up against another guy inside a car. I was shocked and my entire body became weak. I've never experienced anything like this before.

Our relationship has been good and bad, but mostly bad. Despite this we never gave up, until she did the last few months, she became distant and always came home drunk or high. And yes she's an aggressive drunk.

When she cheated on me this Sunday, things felt bad, but in a different way, I kept trying in my way, but she had totally given up. I didnt understand what was going on until I saw her with the other guy.

We had talked about taking a break from each other the same day. But seeing her doing this, one exactly the same day.. heartbreaking and devastation is not enough words for it.

She said she will move out, but she's still staying here until she can find an apartment. And while shes doing so she keeps justifying her cheating on me and keeps telling me that its been my fault that it happened.

She makes me depressed and I cant stand her, especially when shes still staying under the same roof.

She says legally Im gonna have to pay for the deposit of her new apartment and some of the rent.

I just want to not be with her anymore, I rather die than to ever see her again.

For the greencard, the proof I have of Bonafide marriage is:

- Joint signed lease for apartment

- Joint car insurace

- Joint bank accounts.

- pictures of me and her together (recent ones)

- pictures of me,her and her family together (also recent ones)

We went to couples counceling about 1 year into the marriage, I might be able to get those papers, but Im not sure.

Im anxious, depressed and now terrified that ill lose my ability to stay. I've built myself a career that I couldve never achieved in a country like Sweden that I'm from.

Am I going to be safe If i divorce her and file the I-751 early??? What should I do???

Please help me

I forgot to say we filed joint tax return for 2014. I didnt have any taxes to file for 2013.

I'm so sorry about it! Are you currently working in LA? Maybe you should seek for lawyer for consultation if you still want to remain in the United stTes. I have very good lawyer and the price is cheap to adjust status.if I'm not mistaken it's free for consulation. Email Danielle@kvisas.com good luck!!

[Roz 1]

I definitely want to stay, and yes I work in LA. I have no future back in Sweden and ive made a great carreer here in LA.

I'm so sorry about it! Are you currently working in LA? Maybe you should seek for lawyer for consultation if you still want to remain in the United stTes. I have very good lawyer and the price is cheap to adjust status.if I'm not mistaken it's free for consulation. Email Danielle@kvisas.com good luck!!

[Cathi 5,610]

You ca divorce and remove conditions on your own

[Howeetest D 18]

I don't understand why she says legally you have to pay for her deposit and rent!! Unless I'm mistaken, I'm pretty sure as she's the one who cheated and not you, you're not legally tied to pay anything. You can't be sure how far things have gone with this other guy(s). You need to get evidence of her wrong doings! If she's the one who caused the breakdown of the marriage you shouldn't be paying for her. . . Anything I have also read that you can divorce her. You can remove your conditions on your own.

Like I said, unless I'm mistaken, this is what I know to be true.

Get info from a lawyer whoes speciality is in this field.

[Roz 1]

Howeetest D.

She is the kind of person that's so tunnel visioned that she can only see things from her own perspective. She makes her friends see me as the bad guy. I don't have many friends here but i have my amazing career as a TV show editor.

Since we live in Los Angeles it won't matter that she cheated on me, she can sign for something called an alimony(?), and take any income I have for the length of half the marriage.

I hope she won't go that far, but she's a person that does that, she goes as far as you possibly can get.

[Howeetest D 18]

Howeetest D.

She is the kind of person that's so tunnel visioned that she can only see things from her own perspective. She makes her friends see me as the bad guy. I don't have many friends here but i have my amazing career as a TV show editor.

Since we live in Los Angeles it won't matter that she cheated on me, she can sign for something called an alimony(?), and take any income I have for the length of half the marriage.

I hope she won't go that far, but she's a person that does that, she goes as far as you possibly can get.

Isn't her getting alimony based of multiple factors? Well if she is that type of person who is vindictive, I can only suggest you seek advice from a lawyer.

[nitrous_guy 23]

How can she get alimony, when she has financially sponsored you to be here in USA?

She signed an affidavit of support, to support you, which means, she possibly couldn't do that.

If she plays that game, if tomorrow you loose your job, she is still financially responsible for you, until you get your US citizenship or leave the country.

Can someone confirm this?

[Roz 1]

It's funny you say that about the job, the show I'm working on goes on a 2.5 month break on Friday, I had saved up money for the gap, but there won't be enough to pay her rent, her deposit for her new apartment, lawyers, my 2 upcoming rent. No way.

I don't know what to do

[TBoneTX 43,057]

*** Thread moved from ROC forum to the Effects of Major Changes forum, where similar issues are discussed. ***

[Howeetest D 18]

How can she get alimony, when she has financially sponsored you to be here in USA?

She signed an affidavit of support, to support you, which means, she possibly couldn't do that.

If she plays that game, if tomorrow you loose your job, she is still financially responsible for you, until you get your US citizenship or leave the country.

Can someone confirm this?

You're correct!! From what I've read you are. She could also get fined. It cleary states in the instructions that she is sponsering him so hedoesn't become a public charge.

Roz she can't make you pay for her rent or deposit. That to me sounds ludicrous. But then again I could be mistaken. I'm just thinking of this logically and getting evidence from posts I've read.

[Darnell 8,478]

How can she get alimony, when she has financially sponsored you to be here in USA?

She signed an affidavit of support, to support you, which means, she possibly couldn't do that.

If she plays that game, if tomorrow you loose your job, she is still financially responsible for you, until you get your US citizenship or leave the country.

Can someone confirm this?

federal stuff , the I-864 guidelines,

have nothing to do with

state stuff, for divorce guidelines.

sorry.

in states that allow alimony and/or spousal support, such as california, the case is adjudicated either before a judge or terms are agreed between the two parties prior to the divorce hearing.

if the OP wants some control on things, he should file as the petitioner in the divorce.

[nitrous_guy 23]

federal stuff , the I-864 guidelines,

have nothing to do with

state stuff, for divorce guidelines.

sorry.

in states that allow alimony and/or spousal support, such as california, the case is adjudicated either before a judge or terms are agreed between the two parties prior to the divorce hearing.

if the OP wants some control on things, he should file as the petitioner in the divorce.

But what if, after they divorce, and he looses his job?

Who is responsible for who, when it comes to finance?

So he pays alimony, if she wants it, and she pays for him, as per i-864?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Well, you might need a lawyer for your divorce, they can really help explain to you the laws in California and guide you through the likelihood of things happening. I would ignore most of the comments related to that because it can be a complex issue and one that depends on how so many things progress. For the moment, you owe her nothing and she is being manipulative by trying to get you to pay things you don't owe. If you are both jointly on a lease together, than that is your financial obligation right now. If you file for separation/divorce immediately, you won't be liable for any more marital debt that she incurs past that point without you. I suggest you get on that.

As to ROC - I would just gather as much as you can, counseling paperwork sounds like a good idea. Plenty of people have divorced and filed ROC on their own. There was a Scandinavian poster recently, also living in your state, who had the exact same situation.

[Roz 1]

Thank you so much guys. This is great.

Is there a big risk of the permanent green card to be rejected even though I'm in the right here ?

Getting a lawyer, even for divorce is not an option right now.