marriage problem please help fighting alot

[manonfire 1]

hello everyone,

I come to states last years with IR1 Visa status to untied states when I was in Pakistan and everything was different like my wife told me lot of things about her family and things we have been been married for over 5 years its took couple years for me to get my visa to go to USA

When i come to states I find out so many wrong things which is i ever see in my whole life she been cheated me lately with people i know around here and many more things i find out about her was she lie to me about everything for few years she took 50000$ student loan and she didn't play them back this people calling and asking me for this money bus i am her husband and she didn't answer the phone and she support i answer the phone to tell them that i will pay for this money back to them which is i will never ever made this money she make me crazy every talk i trying to talk to her about something she freak out and screaming and yelling at me for everything she is crazy mentally physically disturb lately after car accident and head injured doctor told her she will lost her mind forget things and she will be crazy if she didn't take her medicines still i am trying o work on bills she been eating bills lately and she is behind of 2 month bills on internet and lights bill and etc she been destroy all these things she get it from me like i support her on everything bus i was in love marriage when i made her in my life we been married for few years in Pakistan them took few years to get me visa to come last years been here a year or half in USA with her now and we have been fighting lot and every time i trying to talk to her about student loan and things she warning me she will take my green card from me and she will call the immigration office to deport me I work so hard like 8 hours to trying to save cut the bills of her like student loan support to be like 550$ a month so i make them i pay like 100$ a month from my bills so i will pay for student rest of my life to cut it i am trying to her she is not doing anything she don't do cook anymore she is not cleaning the house she is not doing a damn thing in house anymore all day she spend time with her mom when i got off from work she is with her mom house so i come to home cleaning dishes cooking for my self and her also take care of things in house i feel so bad and so sad and so upset every time i come to home with nightmare she come to my work place and tell to my co workers im married and better there is no do anything with me everyone said to me im married to crazy person no they don't talk to me bus they scared from her i dont know what to do im so confused sad upset and worried in my life i need help please i feel like im slave here

question 1 ......

can she take my green card from me if we got apart living i dont want to divorced her i don't want too i have no plan for it ?

i still love her and trying to work on things with her bus she is selfish now and she want to only money now from me she has nothing to do with me anything anything more

i have joined sponsor in my case also she is not full sponsor of my case

i work and pay taxes on time she don't work and don't pay taxes also

i just want to go some where else living now alone i am tired of her screaming and yelling at me every time i wake up bring drama everyday

i hate this life and everything

can she take my green card from me ? when i am gonna leave her i have 10 years green card with ssc

please i need help i have so much tell and share but time is short thats why

thank you so much all and god bless always everyone

[KayDeeCee 4,892]

~ Moved from General Immigration to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits ~

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I attempted to read your post, I really did, but is there any way you edit it with punctuation and repost it?

As to your greencard question - no, she can not physically remove your greencard from your possession. If you have a 10 year greencard, there is nothing further you need to prove to USCIS in order to keep it. You can divorce tomorrow if you are so unhappy.

For what it is worth, my husband is the only one working and he does pay off my previous student loans from his salary. Neither of us has a problem with that, are you expecting some sort of sympathy about having joint finances?

[Jawaree 717]

You should try to assimilate dude in the US women have a mind of their own

and will scream at you if that's the way they are...You may not be used to strong

women where you come from, but the woman is not mental or crazy , since you

love and want her have a serious talk with her about the marriage.

No she cannot deport you

[Sohailkhan 11]

Neither man or woman has the right to scream on their spouse. Regarding loans, he's happy to pay it off but his wife is being irresponsible in regards to other issues. He does not get the love one would expect from his wife. You can talk to her clearly that if does not change her attitude and cooperate, you will leave her and she would not be able to do anything against yoU. She cannot deport u.

[janetusman 33]

You should try to assimilate dude in the US women have a mind of their own

and will scream at you if that's the way they are...You may not be used to strong

women where you come from, but the woman is not mental or crazy , since you

love and want her have a serious talk with her about the marriage.

No she cannot deport you

Wow...just wow...not all US women are crazy. We don't all threaten to deport our immigrant husbands and use them for money.

To answer the OP...If you have a 10 year GC, she can't do anything. If it is a 2 year conditional, she could refuse to cooperate on the AOS and make it more difficult for you, but not impossible.

[aslam khan 5]

hey,

If you love her, try to understand her, its not all about finances, you have to support her emotionally after all she is your love. Your marriage is five year old, find ways to enjoy each other, Marriage is not all about one person, What you told is only your version of story, i am not taking her side but letting you know there is always a way out, you havent mentioned about kids, how they will effect with this and how are they seeing all this at home. Have patience bro and talk with your mother in law what thing is bothering you.

[VOL 425]

You should try to assimilate dude in the US women have a mind of their own

and will scream at you if that's the way they are...You may not be used to strong

women where you come from, but the woman is not mental or crazy

I would never tolerate a woman as you described and I don't think many others would.

As to your greencard question - no, she can not physically remove your greencard from your possession. If you have a 10 year greencard, there is nothing further you need to prove to USCIS in order to keep it. You can divorce tomorrow if you are so unhappy.

Agreed..........

[Kajikit 65]

Was she like this before the car accident and head injury? Or did they change her... traumatic brain injury is a terrible thing and it can totally change a persons personality and it is largely outside her control. But if she was like this before the accident, get a divorce. And no, she can't take your greencard away from you... it's yours.

[VOL 425]

Was she like this before the car accident and head injury? Or did they change her... traumatic brain injury is a terrible thing and it can totally change a persons personality and it is largely outside her control. But if she was like this before the accident, get a divorce. And no, she can't take your greencard away from you... it's yours.

Maybe the car wreck and brain injury has her thinking she is Immigration Control Officer?

[SK2014 44]

Sorry that you are so unhappy right now.

Firstly no she cannot take your GC away.

Secondly if you feel moving away is what's best for you right now then do it. You do not have to live with someone screaming and yelling at you all the time. If she is no longer affectionate towards you and does not spend time with you I can see why this would make you unhappy.

Have you talked to her about how the lack of love and support from her in your marriage is making you feel?

Financially: unfortunately as she is not working so the responsibility falls to you, is she not able to work or does she choose not to work?

Have you tried sitting down with her mother and asking her for help with getting your wife back on her medication? It might be worth a try to ask for help as obviously communication between the both of you at the moment is strained and maybe a middle man like her mother or even a professional can help with that.

Also your wife has no right to come to your job and behave that way, this could cost you your job and it sounds like things are already not so good with others not wanting to talk to you! Often when a person is cheating on their partner they will behave that way and you said she is already cheating on you

If staying in the relationship is what you want then finding someone to speak and help you both get through this tuff time is the best advice I can give - if you cannot afford one some spiritual leaders offer this type of support too maybe something to think about

But just so you know you do not have to be married to help support her financially or emotional if that's what you choose to do

Good luck and I wish you both all the best

[SK2014 44]

You should try to assimilate dude in the US women have a mind of their own

and will scream at you if that's the way they are...You may not be used to strong

women where you come from, but the woman is not mental or crazy , since you

love and want her have a serious talk with her about the marriage.

No she cannot deport you

Why should he have to assimilate? To what? Her abusive and cheating behaviour? If the op was a women and the USC a man would you advise her to assimilate too because men in the USA behave this way?

Let's not judge a persons character based on their country of origin

Just my opinion

[Marco&Bettina 502]

Maybe the car wreck and brain injury has her thinking she is Immigration Control Officer?

It's too soon.

[Kiv 32]

Did she finish school already? you need to talk, she may be able to get a part time job or a full time job to help with the expenses, I find it odd that you did not know about her loan after been married for 5 years, was she visiting you often in your country? There must be a way to help each other.

[CowBoE 429]

hello everyone,

I come to states last years with IR1 Visa status to untied states when I was in Pakistan and everything was different like my wife told me lot of things about her family and things we have been been married for over 5 years its took couple years for me to get my visa to go to USA

When i come to states I find out so many wrong things which is i ever see in my whole life she been cheated me lately with people i know around here and many more things i find out about her was she lie to me about everything for few years she took 50000$ student loan and she didn't play them back this people calling and asking me for this money bus i am her husband and she didn't answer the phone and she support i answer the phone to tell them that i will pay for this money back to them which is i will never ever made this money she make me crazy every talk i trying to talk to her about something she freak out and screaming and yelling at me for everything she is crazy mentally physically disturb lately after car accident and head injured doctor told her she will lost her mind forget things and she will be crazy if she didn't take her medicines still i am trying o work on bills she been eating bills lately and she is behind of 2 month bills on internet and lights bill and etc she been destroy all these things she get it from me like i support her on everything bus i was in love marriage when i made her in my life we been married for few years in Pakistan them took few years to get me visa to come last years been here a year or half in USA with her now and we have been fighting lot and every time i trying to talk to her about student loan and things she warning me she will take my green card from me and she will call the immigration office to deport me I work so hard like 8 hours to trying to save cut the bills of her like student loan support to be like 550$ a month so i make them i pay like 100$ a month from my bills so i will pay for student rest of my life to cut it i am trying to her she is not doing anything she don't do cook anymore she is not cleaning the house she is not doing a damn thing in house anymore all day she spend time with her mom when i got off from work she is with her mom house so i come to home cleaning dishes cooking for my self and her also take care of things in house i feel so bad and so sad and so upset every time i come to home with nightmare she come to my work place and tell to my co workers im married and better there is no do anything with me everyone said to me im married to crazy person no they don't talk to me bus they scared from her i dont know what to do im so confused sad upset and worried in my life i need help please i feel like im slave here

question 1 ......

can she take my green card from me if we got apart living i dont want to divorced her i don't want too i have no plan for it ?

i still love her and trying to work on things with her bus she is selfish now and she want to only money now from me she has nothing to do with me anything anything more

i have joined sponsor in my case also she is not full sponsor of my case

i work and pay taxes on time she don't work and don't pay taxes also

i just want to go some where else living now alone i am tired of her screaming and yelling at me every time i wake up bring drama everyday

i hate this life and everything

can she take my green card from me ? when i am gonna leave her i have 10 years green card with ssc

please i need help i have so much tell and share but time is short thats why

thank you so much all and god bless always everyone

• I know it can feel like she's crazy, but likely she is not. I bet she is also frustrated with you on some issues so she's just letting her anger out...perhaps in immature, irresponsible, and improper way to you.
• As for the school loan, it would be most ideal if she takes full or partial responsibility to pay that back, but if she is not able, then I don't see a major issue of helping to pay that back. A good spouse would gladly do this. My daughter just got married last year, and her in-laws are financially better off than I am since I'm already paying $70K per year for my son to attend the ivy league school, so they gladly picked up her medical school tuition...with the understanding that she will pay them back once she starts to work.
• If you still want to make this work, sounds like serious marriage counseling may be needed. We all deserve to be happy, and if necessary, divorce is something you might have to consider. That said, there is always two sides to the story, and who knows how many things she is also frustrated with you. Therefore, the best route for healing is neutral respectful counselor who can mediate and coach you guys.

Good luck.