Support obligations for my Filipina wife after she comes to the U.S.

[lysander 14]

I'm curious as to how the green card works in YOUR favor....this whole sentence doesn't sit right with me.

Is that because you've found a breadwinner to support you?

It works in my favor in that it's something I have to offer. She wants to come here; I can help her come here. (Or, my parents and I can help her come here, maybe I should say.) It's a potential compatibility. People have "must-haves" and "can't-stands" and if a green card is a must-have, potentially I can meet that criterion. She had other qualities she was looking for too.

My fiancée has had a relentlessly positive attitude from the beginning, saying she loves me, that everything will work out, that she'll prove the naysayers wrong if given a chance, etc. But when people are in love, or they badly want something to be true, and to convince others to support them in their goal, they sometimes don't think realistically. They may exaggerate supporting evidence, ignore contrary evidence, and interpret ambiguous situations in a way that gives the other person and the prospects of success the benefit of the doubt.

I've seen how it can turn the other way too, and become the opposite of what's described above. Love can turn to hate, and dashed hopes can lead to blaming other people, to avoid feeling bad about oneself. When it goes in that direction, sometimes people see the other person as being so bad as being deserving of all sorts of ill-treatment that's out of proportion to what they actually did, much as during the loving stage, they were deemed worthy of all sorts of attention, affection, praise, etc. that were out of proportion to their actual merits, accomplishments, etc.

It seems like there are more breadwinner-wives with househusbands than there used to be, but I don't think they usually enter into marriage planning that it's going to turn out that way. It probably more often is unexpected.

Edited December 9, 2014 by Leucosticte

[lysander 14]

Then we're back to Darnell's reply, basically: Have you checked if you are allowed past immigration in the Philippines?

I doubt I would be allowed to immigrate to the Philippines. I thought if I had a passport, I could stay there for 30 days (without needing a visa), get married, and come back?

[LionessDeon 2,060]

OK....I get it now,,,amidst your felony conviction, unemployment, and living with your parents you have found something to bring to the table. Thus the need for a Filipina wife and not an American. I completely understand now.

[Unidentified 2,930]

I doubt I would be allowed to immigrate to the Philippines. I thought if I had a passport, I could stay there for 30 days (without needing a visa), get married, and come back?

Have you had troubles travelling elsewhere since you got your felony conviction? Threatening the president is a very serious offense that could possibly make travel less smooth. Though I am no expert on laws and consequences. I also don't know how hard the Phillipines are. I just know that when I travel to the states for exampel I need to answer questions about whether or not I have committed crimes or is planning to do so. So if I were you I'd look that up first.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Well, there's what's theoretically possible, and then there are the odds of a given scenario actually happening in practice. We know that there's a possibility what you describe could happen, but I wonder how commonly that actually does happen. The details were to help assess the likelihood that this situation might go wrong, given what people have observed. Thanks.

There have been reports of attorneys using the 864 to extract court decisions in their favor in divorce proceedings. Plus, it might be a matter of statistics until it happens to you.

You noted concern from your parents; they are skeptical and are right to be that way. Not saying they are right or wrong, only that the fact is that they actually have the most to lose.

Would it happen? Only time will tell.

At the end of the day; if you are that strong about it; then you need to get a job and follow the process on your own.

Some of your arguments are quite incorrect: for example, I can't quite follow why her green card works in your favor. Care to explain? It is incorrect she has to wait 3 years. The minute she AOS she is a 'free' agent; that is about 6 months after filing; she can do ROC on her own, even divorced (now getting approval is not as simple, but very doable) and of course she can do the citizen application on her own.

If she had some ulterior motives (not saying she does), she certainly seem smart enough to do all that on her own.

Also, you need to consider the felony offense you listed; that might be a black mark in the petition. No need to reveal what it was, but ensure you understand the implications of it wihtin an imimgration process.

Good luck

[Darnell 8,478]

I doubt I would be allowed to immigrate to the Philippines. I thought if I had a passport, I could stay there for 30 days (without needing a visa), get married, and come back?

When you get off the plane in the PI - you go through an immigration control point. The passport # is looked up, against their Federal Database, which is fed by the USA Federal Database of convicted folk. Is highly improbable you will be allowed out of the airport, even to chase after the 30 day tourist stamp, as USA Feds send out a monthly update, these past 12 years or so.

But I'm not certain about it - only an immigration attorney can assist you on this one, when you have sat down, engaged with the attorney (ie - pay fee for advice) and reveal the entire federal record to said attorney.

For the nonce, I suggest you reread my prior post, removing any relationship ties that you two have as part of your research process, focusing solely on my points in that post. Who knows? you might have a loophole, an attorney can reveal that to you.

If such a loophole exists for you, then is possible to get the balikbayan (sp?) visa for a year after marriage, once the marriage is properly registered in the PI. Which is enough of a visa for filing the I-130 via DCF into Manila IV.

Edited December 9, 2014 by Darnell

[Boiler 43,433]

There has been at least one case of a felon being refused entry to PI on this site.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

And OMG I just googled your felony. Did you threaten the President? Are you crazy???

Yes, it's a serious conviction. It was one of the reasons I was so eager to marry her when, on the first day of the relationship, I told her about it, and about it how it restricted my career possibilities, and she said it wasn't a big deal and that we could move on with our lives having learnt a lesson from it. Maybe she too felt like she'd finally found what she was looking for, because I was commitment-minded, seemed nice enough, was interested in more than asking her to take naughty pics of herself or have sex by Internet chat (as a lot of guys on these sites do), etc.

It works in my favor in that it's something I have to offer. She wants to come here; I can help her come here. (Or, my parents and I can help her come here, maybe I should say.) It's a potential compatibility. People have "must-haves" and "can't-stands" and if a green card is a must-have, potentially I can meet that criterion. She had other qualities she was looking for too.

My fiancée has had a relentlessly positive attitude from the beginning, saying she loves me, that everything will work out, that she'll prove the naysayers wrong if given a chance, etc. But when people are in love, or they badly want something to be true, and to convince others to support them in their goal, they sometimes don't think realistically. They may exaggerate supporting evidence, ignore contrary evidence, and interpret ambiguous situations in a way that gives the other person and the prospects of success the benefit of the doubt.

I've seen how it can turn the other way too, and become the opposite of what's described above. Love can turn to hate, and dashed hopes can lead to blaming other people, to avoid feeling bad about oneself. When it goes in that direction, sometimes people see the other person as being so bad as being deserving of all sorts of ill-treatment that's out of proportion to what they actually did, much as during the loving stage, they were deemed worthy of all sorts of attention, affection, praise, etc. that were out of proportion to their actual merits, accomplishments, etc.

It seems like there are more breadwinner-wives with househusbands than there used to be, but I don't think they usually enter into marriage planning that it's going to turn out that way. It probably more often is unexpected.

There have been reports of attorneys using the 864 to extract court decisions in their favor in divorce proceedings. Plus, it might be a matter of statistics until it happens to you.

You noted concern from your parents; they are skeptical and are right to be that way. Not saying they are right or wrong, only that the fact is that they actually have the most to lose.

Would it happen? Only time will tell.

At the end of the day; if you are that strong about it; then you need to get a job and follow the process on your own.

Some of your arguments are quite incorrect: for example, I can't quite follow why her green card works in your favor. Care to explain? It is incorrect she has to wait 3 years. The minute she AOS she is a 'free' agent; that is about 6 months after filing; she can do ROC on her own, even divorced (now getting approval is not as simple, but very doable) and of course she can do the citizen application on her own.

If she had some ulterior motives (not saying she does), she certainly seem smart enough to do all that on her own.

Also, you need to consider the felony offense you listed; that might be a black mark in the petition. No need to reveal what it was, but ensure you understand the implications of it wihtin an imimgration process.

Good luck

Here are the answers Gosia & Tito. i had the same question

[kzielu 1,147]

OP - did you meet your fiancee at all ? How are you going to marry her, if you can't leave US and she will not get B2 visa ? (if I missed it in previous posts - apologize).

In addition - you bring up that she was OK with whatever you told her about you and that means she's truly in love with you. What do you think she would say if she was after the green card ? What her line with you would have been ?

[Unidentified 2,930]

OP - did you meet your fiancee at all ? How are you going to marry her, if you can't leave US and she will not get B2 visa ? (if I missed it in previous posts - apologize).

In addition - you bring up that she was OK with whatever you told her about you and that means she's truly in love with you. What do you think she would say if she was after the green card ? What her line with you would have been ?

I am glad someone other than me was blunt enough to insinuate that she is most likely after a green card and green card only.

[AmyWrites 593]

I am glad someone other than me was blunt enough to insinuate that she is most likely after a green card and green card only.

From one of his last posts it looks like he's ok with that...

OP, you understand it will be hard for her to find a well-paying job in the US, right?

[lysander 14]

From one of his last posts it looks like he's ok with that...

OP, you understand it will be hard for her to find a well-paying job in the US, right?

Why would that be? I had kinda figured, "Oh, she sells appliances, cars, and real estate in the Philippines, so she'll come here and work for Sears or a Ford dealership or become a realtor."

Anyway, since I don't have money, people say "she's just after the green card" but I think if I had money, people would say "she's just after the green card and/or your money."

I think she also prefers American guys' looks, plus she's tired of Filipino guys because those relationships haven't worked out, and she thinks a lot of Filipinos cheat on their wives. She was worried she might marry a guy who turned out to be like that, and end up trapped in a marriage she couldn't get out of, since they don't have divorce over there.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Why would that be? I had kinda figured, "Oh, she sells appliances, cars, and real estate in the Philippines, so she'll come here and work for Sears or a Ford dealership or become a realtor."

Anyway, since I don't have money, people say "she's just after the green card" but I think if I had money, people would say "she's just after the green card and/or your money."

I think she also prefers American guys' looks, plus she's tired of Filipino guys because those relationships haven't worked out, and she thinks a lot of Filipinos cheat on their wives. She was worried she might marry a guy who turned out to be like that, and end up trapped in a marriage she couldn't get out of, since they don't have divorce over there.

Just because she works with cars in the Phillipines doesn't guarantee her a job with a dealership in the states. That is just wishful thinking.

I think people are way more concerned about the fact that it's your parents who'll get stuck paying for everything if she is only after the Green Card and you should get a job and show you are able to support your future wife. Doesn't matter that you prefer to stay at home doing nothing when she is your wife (if she's okay with that) but don't let your parents pay for your future wife. They are not the ones marrying her, you are.

[kzielu 1,147]

Ultimately you will be marrying here and you'll find out the truth. No one here really knows what she's after.

Only thing people here are saying that most of the arguments you're bringing up make no sense. Neither does the statement of "Fil-West relationships have a high success rate" which I find completely opposite by reading this site.

I guess fact that she's interested in a younger man is a good sign though. But coming back to my question - how do you plan to marry her ?

Edited December 9, 2014 by kzielu

[lysander 14]

Ultimately you will be marrying here and you'll find out the truth. No one here really knows what she's after.

Only thing people here are saying that most of the arguments you're bringing up make no sense. Neither does the statement of "Fil-West relationships have a high success rate" which I find completely opposite by reading this site.

I guess fact that she's interested in a younger man is a good sign though. But coming back to my question - how do you plan to marry her ?

I was going to go to the Philippines to marry her there, then come back and do the CR-1. However, maybe threatening the President would put me in an excluded class of aliens: "Persons who believe in or advocate the overthrow by force and violence of the Government of the Philippines, or of constituted law and authority, or who disbelieve in or are opposed to organized government, or who advocate the assault or assassination of public officials because of their office, or who advocate or teach principles, theories, or ideas contrary to the Constitution of the Philippines or advocate or teach the unlawful destruction of property, or who are members of or affiliated with any organization entertaining or teaching such doctrines;" http://www.refworld.org/docid/3ae6b500f.html

Edited December 9, 2014 by Leucosticte