How to deal with my anxiety through this whole process :|

[Soapies 18]

Let me start off by saying I love this website, and it has been a HUGE help for me since I am ... as I'm sure all of you are ...new to this entire process.

So, my story ... so far...

My fiance proposed on his recent visit here to Canada last month in April... As soon as he left I started getting our packet together and ready for him to send out. It took a week of obsessing over every little detail ... the cover letter, making sure it was all in order, the passport style photo in a plastic baggy, attached to a blank piece of paper ... signing and dating absolutely everything ... photocopying all of our letters, printing 4x6 photos of us at walmart, labelling, dating, describing every single one of them ... gathering copies of chat logs and ... oh god. It has been one heck of a ride and we're only just beginning.

And well, I have an anxiety disorder and I currently don't take any medication for it. (I can't bring myself to spend $50 a month for something that, lets be serious, I should be able to manage... )

So, I put as much of this package together as I possibly could (being the beneficiary). I sent it out to my fiance for him to add his biographic information and passport photo... And for him to sign everything, date it. add the cheque, etc... I was panicking, worrying he was going to forget to sign something, or that he was going to fill in the wrong sections of the form... Or misplace a piece of paper ... I don't know why, an RFE really isn't so bad. This entire process is going to take a year, so what's another month during that, really? It got to a point where he was getting upset with me because I was stressing him out. And we would start to argue with each other, because it didn't seem (and still doesn't seem) like he's taking this things seriously.

But I am waking up in the middle of the nights sweating, panicking. Thinking about everything that could go wrong. A bit fat "DENIED" all over our application.

And then today it hit me. He didn't write his name on the back of his passport photo. When I asked him, he got really upset at himself because he overlooked that. If he had only taken this as seriously as me??? And stopped telling me that I was freaking out and that everything will be just fine... Grrr!

SO now I'm wondering if I will get an RFE for that. We were sooooooo detailed with everything else. His photo is in a plastic baggy, labelled "Photo of (my fiances name)" .. and we also included a photocopy of his passport card along with the birth certificate (I like to be thorough).

Since they use that passport photo as photo I.D. to put a face to the name ... Could they compare the photo to his passport card ... and would that be sufficient?

How do I stop worrying so much? We literally just sent the package out today. ... I'm thinking maybe I should start on those anxiety meds again, because this amount of stress can't be normal.

Am I worrying for nothing?

Holy ####### how do you guys do it, this process is terrifying. And I don't even know why, I love my fiance so much and I want to be with him.

Some advice from you guys who have gone through this would be amazing. And any hiccups you guys ran into ?

[PBJ 60]

Ok breathe, take it easy, you'll be fine!

I read and re-read the VJ guides for submitting the I-129f packet and although it was organised and coherent, I didn't do little baggies and nice Acco fasteners, and we got through just fine in 33 days.

Be cool, relax, stay focused. Be nice to each other, its a long road yet.

All the best for both of you!

D

[Carla V 43]

My now hubby didnt do it neither and here I am two years later starting our family Do not get panicked!!!! Is a waiting game at this point, your chances to proof anything is sending a good first form and packet and during your interview... all this coming weeks, relax and dont get obsess with documents!!! Just start slowly to make your pack for the interview with the same love you did the file you just sent... Concentrate in happy thoughts about your life with your soon to be husband... Good luck and happy wishes

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Let me start off by saying I love this website, and it has been a HUGE help for me since I am ... as I'm sure all of you are ...new to this entire process.

So, my story ... so far...

My fiance proposed on his recent visit here to Canada last month in April... As soon as he left I started getting our packet together and ready for him to send out. It took a week of obsessing over every little detail ... the cover letter, making sure it was all in order, the passport style photo in a plastic baggy, attached to a blank piece of paper ... signing and dating absolutely everything ... photocopying all of our letters, printing 4x6 photos of us at walmart, labelling, dating, describing every single one of them ... gathering copies of chat logs and ... oh god. It has been one heck of a ride and we're only just beginning.

And well, I have an anxiety disorder and I currently don't take any medication for it. (I can't bring myself to spend $50 a month for something that, lets be serious, I should be able to manage... )

So, I put as much of this package together as I possibly could (being the beneficiary). I sent it out to my fiance for him to add his biographic information and passport photo... And for him to sign everything, date it. add the cheque, etc... I was panicking, worrying he was going to forget to sign something, or that he was going to fill in the wrong sections of the form... Or misplace a piece of paper ... I don't know why, an RFE really isn't so bad. This entire process is going to take a year, so what's another month during that, really? It got to a point where he was getting upset with me because I was stressing him out. And we would start to argue with each other, because it didn't seem (and still doesn't seem) like he's taking this things seriously.

But I am waking up in the middle of the nights sweating, panicking. Thinking about everything that could go wrong. A bit fat "DENIED" all over our application.

And then today it hit me. He didn't write his name on the back of his passport photo. When I asked him, he got really upset at himself because he overlooked that. If he had only taken this as seriously as me??? And stopped telling me that I was freaking out and that everything will be just fine... Grrr!

SO now I'm wondering if I will get an RFE for that. We were sooooooo detailed with everything else. His photo is in a plastic baggy, labelled "Photo of (my fiances name)" .. and we also included a photocopy of his passport card along with the birth certificate (I like to be thorough).

Since they use that passport photo as photo I.D. to put a face to the name ... Could they compare the photo to his passport card ... and would that be sufficient?

How do I stop worrying so much? We literally just sent the package out today. ... I'm thinking maybe I should start on those anxiety meds again, because this amount of stress can't be normal.

Am I worrying for nothing?

Holy ####### how do you guys do it, this process is terrifying. And I don't even know why, I love my fiance so much and I want to be with him.

Some advice from you guys who have gone through this would be amazing. And any hiccups you guys ran into ?

Hi there,

Don't worry too much. Sometimes what worst in your mind isn't that actually happen in the reality. Remember, don't blame each other for something missed out. My then-fiancé ( my now husband) spelled wrong my address on I-129F ( different from my biographic information). I knew it after he sent me the copy via email, but I did not tell him. I did not want him feel bad about that. We got approved in 38 days without any RFE. Just stay positive and keep learning the whole process.

I did mistake when filled out DS-160 form as well and the embassy did not make it a big fuss. I got approved my K-1 visa anyway.

[Soapies 18]

Ah man, thanks guys. It does feel a lot better hearing from people who have gone through this entire thing ... When you're first starting the process, it is very intimidating ...

I know there's nothing I can do now but wait, and wait, and wait .... And breath, ...

You guys give me a lot of hope =) I like seeing the happy results and happy married couples on this website.

Edited May 3, 2014 by Soapies

[TBoneTX 45,524]

Invest your time and energies planning for the subsequent stages of the process: consular, adjusting to life in the U.S. and what your goals are, AOS, ROC, citizenship. Read the Canada regional forum and the "Embassy Reviews" for the first part. Read the Canada forum for adjusting to life here (there will be details of interest). Focus on what's ahead and under your control.

[PBJ 60]

Ah man, thanks guys. It does feel a lot better hearing from people who have gone through this entire thing ... When you're first starting the process, it is very intimidating ...

I know there's nothing I can do now but wait, and wait, and wait .... And breath, ...

You guys give me a lot of hope =) I like seeing the happy results and happy married couples on this website.

If you're anything like me you'll be spending lots of time here, reading other people's stories just to feel normal!

Enjoy the ride, its part of your life and your story together. Going through this is just a part of earning your own happiness... thats how we see it anyway.

[TBoneTX 45,524]

Here are some threads to take your mind off things:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/410945-k-1-journey-completed/

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/382775-mrs-t-b-the-citizenship-test/

[Julie+Matt 84]

I understand your panic. My fiancé proposed to me in March & I finally (after the post lost his letter of intent & passport photo causing him to resend) mailed out my petition 2 weeks ago. Unfortunately, ours is in Texas- so we have a long wait ahead of us. I freaked out constantly, going over every tiny worry with him, & still do. Thankfully he's soothing & calms me down-even from our 3000 mile separation. Just breathe & it'll all be ok. Hopefully none of us on here get denied. But know, I totally get your concern.

[Tina and Johan 206]

Hi! first and foremost, congrats on your engagement and welcome to the forum. Also, I think I can speak for many when I say that I appreciate you filling out a timeline and being so much on the ball. IF you sent the petition out today, you need to edit your timeline to take off the Texas Service Center. You won't know this information until you get your NOA1, as EVERYONE sends their petition to TX. it's not the same thing as filling out the Service Center on your timeline. Your NOA1 will tell you if it's been sent to California or Texas.

Okay... as for a possible RFE for not having his name on the back of his photo: I stewed over this (and many other possibilities) for a long time. I still can't tell you if I put our names on the the backs of those pictures. We got our NOA2 without an RFE in 60 days via the California Service Center. Things will be fine. You already included more than you needed for this initial step in the process. All you need to do now is relax, be patient (I know... NOT EASY!), and wait for the next information from the USCIS. This forum is a wealth of information. I feel nearly addicted to the place. (I say "nearly" because I'm in denial) It can do one thing, though, that you need to be watchful of... You can obtain "information overload" and that in itself can make you worry and stress more. Realize that we speak as a collective group of people who, like you, are experiencing the K1 process. I have my suspicions that some on here are actually immigration lawyers; they're SOOOOO informed. it astounds me. If you don't want to spend $50 on medication, channel that $$ into pedicures and massages. those are both GREAT stress relievers.

Glad to have you here.

Tina

[Soapies 18]

Thank you, Tina! =)

yeah I must have miss clicked when I was setting up my time line, but I tried to take the service center out several times and it just kept coming back. I don't know if it was my internet being buggy and just not saving my changes or what. But I think it should be gone now. :/ I figured I'd just change it once I knew for sure.

TBone ... those links were definitely helpful, and even made me laugh some =) I can't believe the amount of stress you must have been going through during all of that. :|

Information overload couldn't be anymore correct in explaining how I feel right now ... :| Here's hoping in a few months, I can be the one giving someone else some great advice while they begin their visa journey.

bah! you guys are wonderful. =)

[Ning 619]

Invest your time and energies planning for the subsequent stages of the process: consular, adjusting to life in the U.S. and what your goals are, AOS, ROC, citizenship. Read the Canada regional forum and the "Embassy Reviews" for the first part. Read the Canada forum for adjusting to life here (there will be details of interest). Focus on what's ahead and under your control.

This is by far the best advice. Saying don't worry is not much help I think because if it was that simple you nor most of us would have had any problem during the journey if we could just not worry.

We found that doing as T Bone suggests was more productive and paid dividends in the end. I learned to drive, went to college, found a job and learned about banking for example.

[Novembro 1,763]

Invest your time and energies planning for the subsequent stages of the process: consular, adjusting to life in the U.S. and what your goals are, AOS, ROC, citizenship. Read the Canada regional forum and the "Embassy Reviews" for the first part. Read the Canada forum for adjusting to life here (there will be details of interest). Focus on what's ahead and under your control.

This.

Also, make a stiff drink.Some of my best wedding planning came from a bottle of Glenfiddich.

[raven52 233]

You will be fine. It seems you are very meticulate, and relax once you file, then watch the web sites, and hope you go through CSC and not TSC.,,.. CSC is doing K-1's in days.,.,., TSC is months.,.,but.,it is what it is, roll with the punch!

We all ha to do it, we were 10 months and 4 days, hope you are much less. Relax, we are with you!

[rjsteodosio 4]

YOU REMIND ME OF MYSELF LOL... except I'm the petitioner.

So yes... I researched and read everything I could read, I asked everything I could ask, I printed, signed, dated, everything that i could and i probably did several packet samples before sending out the real thing.

my fiancé even had to send me his bio info twice because he made some mistakes in the first one so that made me even crazier because i kept thinking of the delay... i have this whole timeline/goal in my head that i must be married before the end of this year or else there would be no hope for me.. LOL..

so i officially sent the official i129F packet in the first week of december. i lost soooo much sleep from checking the status every now and then... then i went crazier when i saw that we have an RFE.. so i panicked for about two weeks before i received the RFE notice in the mail only to find out its because I missed a couple of questions.. LOL...

after that.. it's pretty much been smooth sailing up until the point where it was my fiancé's turn to do his part...

he's a 'take your time' type of guy... so our packet has been sitting at the embassy since the later parts of MARCH and he still hasn't gotten all his papers together and its frustrating me because his interview is on MAY 30 and i'm afraid of what might happen if his documents aren't all there.

buttt..... I'm trying not to get on his case because i still have my affidavit of support documents to get squared away before i leave. I'm going to be there with him at his interview.

but anyway... don't sweat it... really... you'll be fine... just as long as you do what needs to be done and he does too... the process will flow smoothly... just be patient, think positive, and continue to research, ask questions and be prepared for any bumps or confusion along the way..

this process isn't easy... it is financially, emotionally, and physically stressful... you guys will argue... a lot... but when you look at the big picture, it will be worth it.

thats what i keep telling myself...