My stepdad hit me.

[Removed030114 48]

Hit 'em back or get the hell out. Is there something I'm missing that says it's okay to accept abuse from family? Bull shiite bigtime

[NikLR 13,220]

Darnell is suggesting showing the man that you're a responsible person. Having a garden to bring food into the house is one way to do that. There is more ways to be responsible than just bring a pay check into a household.

I have lived on my own since I was 18. There may have been a month here and there, where I lived with my mother and step-father because college was out or I was between jobs/places to live. There was even a time when I was homeless. I know people who had parents who paid for everything and they lived with their parents until they were almost 30. My husband joined the USAF when he was 18 and hasn't lived at home since.

Move out. Join a military branch. Get a job. Live with friends. Either that or figure it out with your step-father.

[dwightcharles 12]

Darnell is suggesting showing the man that you're a responsible person. Having a garden to bring food into the house is one way to do that. There is more ways to be responsible than just bring a pay check into a household.

I have lived on my own since I was 18. There may have been a month here and there, where I lived with my mother and step-father because college was out or I was between jobs/places to live. There was even a time when I was homeless. I know people who had parents who paid for everything and they lived with their parents until they were almost 30. My husband joined the USAF when he was 18 and hasn't lived at home since.

Move out. Join a military branch. Get a job. Live with friends. Either that or figure it out with your step-father.

I do have a job. I am still saving enough money for the big move. I also applied to a full tuition art scholarship in New York.

I am really miserable in this house. I know when we move out, it will be a lot better.

Sometimes I just dont know when is "too much"?

[Boiler 43,588]

Do you have enough money to pay for your trip home?

[dwightcharles 12]

Darnell is suggesting showing the man that you're a responsible person. Having a garden to bring food into the house is one way to do that. There is more ways to be responsible than just bring a pay check into a household.

I have lived on my own since I was 18. There may have been a month here and there, where I lived with my mother and step-father because college was out or I was between jobs/places to live. There was even a time when I was homeless. I know people who had parents who paid for everything and they lived with their parents until they were almost 30. My husband joined the USAF when he was 18 and hasn't lived at home since.

Move out. Join a military branch. Get a job. Live with friends. Either that or figure it out with your step-father.

lol yea. I think she/he said it because I did mention my mom's garden. lol

It really had me thinking. I apologize Darnell.

Lol. That is actually a great idea but I really hate yard work and omg, I have a phobia of worms, catterpillars, maggots. OMG so id politely say no to that.

Do you have enough money to pay for your trip home?

Back to the Philippines? mmm no. I will eventually go back but I have plans here. I applied to an art school and I really want to pursue a career in Fashion or Film.

[Darnell 8,478]

IM SORRY BUT I REALLY DONT GET WHAT YOU MEAN BY GROWING A LARGE VEGETABLE GARDEN. where is this coming from? lol

I know. It's OK. Read it again, I suggest 3 times.

[AmyWrites 593]

1. Make money.

2. Pay him back for damages.

3. Understand he's a 78 year old man who is now forced to, for whatever reason, help raise a 23 year old.

4. Move out.

I'm surprised he hasn't kicked you out. 23, with some art/fashion pipe dreams, and wrecking his truck? Eek. You need to contribute somehow.

Edited February 23, 2014 by AmyWrites

[NikLR 13,220]

A punch in the arm, while not appropriate or really okay, isn't really a big deal IMHO. I was spanked with a belt as a child and slapped across the face a few times by my mother when I back-talked. When I read that an adult male can't handle a punch in the arm by an old man, I'm a little "really?!" But there are alternatives and maybe you should search those out if you cannot deal with this person.

[dwightcharles 12]

1. Make money.

2. Pay him back for damages.

3. Understand he's a 78 year old man who is now forced to, for whatever reason, help raise a 23 year old.

4. Move out.

I'm surprised he hasn't kicked you out. 23, with some art/fashion pipe dreams, and wrecking his truck? Eek. You need to contribute somehow.

I do. I do give him $500 dollars a month. That is on top of my credit card bills. I pay for my phone and everything.

[Darnell 8,478]

I dunno - anyone that has to drive a truck to move wood on a house,

seems to have a large enough plot of land to handle a largish garden.

I think getting all 4 children involved with it, seeking his advice (the step-father) on occasion will be useful to the 6 of you.

But that's just me. I want to assume, rightly or wrongly, that he brought all of the family in because he cares about you. I think you are staying in 'island' mentality (no, not any island in the PI) and are not thinking to integrate into a new life. You and your brother and sisters are one 'island' with no real concept of crossing over. Might be a cultural thing, might be a emotional quotient thing, might be a lack-of-maturity thing

or

The step-father has no understanding of who you are, expecting, instead, that you match up with his levels of expectations, always.

Getting a big-garden going on his property will be a family-building event. Your aversion to bugs sounds very strange, what with you now living in Florida (I cannot think how you could stay there all 4 seasons) .

Getting dirty and grubby is a good thing, always. I will assume by his standards, he'll like to see some sweat equity at the house.

[dwightcharles 12]

A punch in the arm, while not appropriate or really okay, isn't really a big deal IMHO. I was spanked with a belt as a child and slapped across the face a few times by my mother when I back-talked. When I read that an adult male can't handle a punch in the arm by an old man, I'm a little "really?!" But there are alternatives and maybe you should search those out if you cannot deal with this person.

I understand. I was raised in the Philippines where 90% of the households dont know what "face the wall" is.

I had the tsinelas (slipper), the belt, the walis ting ting (broom stick), UGH its funny when I think about it now but lol in a Filipino household, the punishment is something that you really wanna try to avoid when your a kid.

I had all kinds of punishment really.

I guess its because that it was my stepfather who did this to me.

[mike56427 6]

... you are 23 with a learner's permit and you live with your mother ... and a 78 year old guy hit on the arm when you did not know how to drive and messed up his truck ... and then you are here writing about it ? ... dude , I think you are the one with the issues ... not your "step-dad"

After unloading them, my brother and I went back to the second tree and told our stepdad that we will be the one to finish it. He said "Okay." and he will be starting the fire. So we went on "chainsawing" the second tree to smaller portions to fit the truck. When we're done, I went back to the backyard and asked my stepdad if could drive the truck so we could load the "woods". He said yes but he sat on the passenger seat. I still have a learner's permit btw but I have already been driving to work and back home with my mom.

So I was driving, he was in the passenger seat. I was about to make a turn towards the the tree that we chopped off when I kind of drove over some hollow blocks in my mom's garden and almost hit a plant with the side of the truck. To my shock, he shouted at me "NO NO NO!!! GOD DAMN IT!! #%!@%^!$!@*&!!!!" and then he punched me in the arm and went on cursing and shouting so loud that I damaged his truck.

He went on and on telling my brother who was still outside that "I fu*k** up his truck".

Btw, this is the second time it happened. The first time was to my mom. He didnt hit her but he went hysterical too that my mom had to howl in her room. and what else... oh yeah, he is a #######. sorry but its true. :C

[dwightcharles 12]

I dunno - anyone that has to drive a truck to move wood on a house,

seems to have a large enough plot of land to handle a largish garden.

I think getting all 4 children involved with it, seeking his advice (the step-father) on occasion will be useful to the 6 of you.

But that's just me. I want to assume, rightly or wrongly, that he brought all of the family in because he cares about you. I think you are staying in 'island' mentality (no, not any island in the PI) and are not thinking to integrate into a new life. You and your brother and sisters are one 'island' with no real concept of crossing over. Might be a cultural thing, might be a emotional quotient thing, might be a lack-of-maturity thing

or

The step-father has no understanding of who you are, expecting, instead, that you match up with his levels of expectations, always.

Getting a big-garden going on his property will be a family-building event. Your aversion to bugs sounds very strange, what with you now living in Florida (I cannot think how you could stay there all 4 seasons) .

Getting dirty and grubby is a good thing, always. I will assume by his standards, he'll like to see some sweat equity at the house.

Maybe youre right. He actually told my mom when all four of us got here that "he swallowed more that what he could chew" something like that Im not sure lol

but yeah, I hate maggots I cant even look at pictures.

[dwightcharles 12]

... you are 23 with a learner's permit and you live with your mother ... and a 78 year old guy hit on the arm when you did not know how to drive and messed up his truck ... and then you are here writing about it ? ... dude , I think you are the one with the issues ... not your "step-dad"

I respect your opinion Mike.

[Steve&Ema 25]

I think you should talk to him and clear the air. Tell him if he ever hits you again or hits your mother you will put him in the hospital. Maybe he will think of you more as a man then and less as a child.