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TBoneTX

Things Not To Say To One's Wife

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TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   43,486

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

Here are some things not to say to one's wife. Please add yours, si man. Keep them clean, clever, and as original as possible (avoid lifting them from websites unless they're genuinely good).

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No, that dress doesn't make you look fat -- you are fat!

I'd love to take you out to dinner, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

How come our marriage certificate didn't come with an expiration date?

Have sex?! Are you nuts?! No! Don't waste it now -- wait 3 weeks until you're ovulating!

Whatever you have to say to me, say it during commercials or time-outs.

Serve me! Serve me well!

For the last cotton-pickin' time, I am not taking my transmission out of the bathtub.

Edited by TBoneTX

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Caryh
Caryh

Calm down. Never, just never say calm down to one's wife, unless you want the opposite reaction to occur.

Novembro
Novembro

I'll do the dishes.

christeen
christeen

We're broke, no shopping for a while

Caryh Grand Master

Caryh   5,206

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

Calm down. Never, just never say calm down to one's wife, unless you want the opposite reaction to occur.

Edited by Caryh

K1 from the Philippines
Arrival : 2011-09-08
Married : 2011-10-15
AOS
Date Card Received : 2012-07-13
EAD
Date Card Received : 2012-02-04

Sent ROC : 4-1-2014
Noa1 : 4-2-2014
Bio Complete : 4-18-2014
Approved : 6-24-2014

N-400 sent 2-13-2016
Bio Complete 3-14-2016
Interview
Oath Taking

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Ontarkie Grand Master

Ontarkie   13,979

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
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You could say those things if you want just don't expect to wake up in the morning.

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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christeen Experienced

christeen   966

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Italy
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We're broke, no shopping for a while

10/14/2000 - Met Aboard a Cruise ship

06/14/2003 - Married Savona Italy

I-130

03/21/2009 - I-130 Mailed to Chicago lockbox

11-30-09: GOT GREEN CARD in mail!!!!!!

Citizenship Process;

1/11/2013: Mailed N400 to Dallas Texas

3/11/2013: interview.. Approved

4/4/2013. : Oath! Now a U.S. citizen!

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fantonledzepp Community Regular

fantonledzepp   159

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Ecuador
 Timeline
Posted

It's Sunday babe, we'll be watching 3 football games.

Fernando & Michelle

12/05/2011 - Mailed I-129F
12/09/2011 - Received NOA1
12/21/2011 - Last updated by USCIS
04/12/2012 - Approved!
05/08/2012 - NVC received
05/09/2012 - Left NVC
05/14/2012 - Received at Consulate
06/25/2012 - Interview at Consulate, APPROVED!!!!
07/07/2012 - POE at JFK, easy.

09/28/2012 - Mailed I-485
11/09/2012 - Appointment for Biometrics
12/08/2012 - EAD and AP Card arrived in mail. No updates to USCIS website.
07/26/2013 - Approved, no interview.

04/30/2015 - Mailed I-751

06/03/2015 - Appointment for Biometrics

02/29/2016 - Approved, no interview.

03/14/2016 - Received 10-year Card

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fantonledzepp Community Regular

fantonledzepp   159

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Ecuador
 Timeline
Posted

And then I'm going to play Batman. For hours.

Fernando & Michelle

12/05/2011 - Mailed I-129F
12/09/2011 - Received NOA1
12/21/2011 - Last updated by USCIS
04/12/2012 - Approved!
05/08/2012 - NVC received
05/09/2012 - Left NVC
05/14/2012 - Received at Consulate
06/25/2012 - Interview at Consulate, APPROVED!!!!
07/07/2012 - POE at JFK, easy.

09/28/2012 - Mailed I-485
11/09/2012 - Appointment for Biometrics
12/08/2012 - EAD and AP Card arrived in mail. No updates to USCIS website.
07/26/2013 - Approved, no interview.

04/30/2015 - Mailed I-751

06/03/2015 - Appointment for Biometrics

02/29/2016 - Approved, no interview.

03/14/2016 - Received 10-year Card

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Bugs Proficient

Bugs   455

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted (edited)

"I think our wedding song should be U2's 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For."

Edited by Leon & Mylen

barata-gif-3.gif

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Caryh Grand Master

Caryh   5,206

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

We're broke, no shopping for a while

LOL my wife gets pretty upset at that one.

K1 from the Philippines
Arrival : 2011-09-08
Married : 2011-10-15
AOS
Date Card Received : 2012-07-13
EAD
Date Card Received : 2012-02-04

Sent ROC : 4-1-2014
Noa1 : 4-2-2014
Bio Complete : 4-18-2014
Approved : 6-24-2014

N-400 sent 2-13-2016
Bio Complete 3-14-2016
Interview
Oath Taking

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