Older American woman Younger Algerian man

[Mithra 1,185]

Yeah the comparisons aren't necessary. The OP wants a shortsighted opinion of the successfulness of May December MENA relationships not which kind of young pup is better and less likely to piss on the floor and chew the sofa. She's in love and sees the visa as the be all end all. I suppose at this stage most people see the visa as the ultimate prize.

This thread meets all the marks. SuperMENAmen wise beyond their (young) ages, a healthy amount of "My Mohammad is totes different", and a drizzle of "American mens are all lousy slobs". I feel an American Queen lurking out there, just waiting for the right time to

make its entrance though.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

"I have seen that a 23 year old boy here in United Stated is more immature than a 23 year old man there. My husband is from Morooco. We have an 18 year difference also. Although he is one of five brothers, third to the youngest, he managed his home there, took care of his family, raised his siblings, owned his own business, and along with his mother managed the family finances. You can not judge or even compare an American man's maturity level to theirs 'in my opinion'. Americans are very spoiled, self indulgent and take things for granted. Yes, there 'might' be a small portion over there who are likewise... but they are hard to find. My husband has been here for 3 and a half years and he nows owns his own business. He does mostly all the cooking and helps me clean. Hes a very generous and loving person. His father is the same way. I could not ask for a more loving husband. Yes going to have coffee is what they do.. does it mean they're lazy in life, uneducated in matters of life? No.

Thumbs up for a great post.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

Hello, I am 21 years older than my husband, we didn't have any issues because of our age difference as far as being approved.. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and we are different religions. I will say that my husband and I spent quite a bit of time together in real life before taking the leap into marriage. I don't think a week is long enough to really get to know someone(my opinion). His family and mine approved of the the relationship(and marriage), which in a MENA country is very important, we were both questioned in depth about family approval at the interview(I attended with him). Between the time of filing the petition and the time of the interview(which was 6 months) we were together in real life(in his country)for over half that time. I think every relationship is different and you need to make the decision realistically. You need to think of what life will be like after he is here. You need to be prepared and have supporting evidence to submit with the petition. We did not present a huge amount of evidence, but I think the fact that we had spent so much time together worked in our favor. My husband has been here for almost exactly a year(Oct 12), we are very happy and our marriage is very strong, but we both work at it. For us the age difference hasn't been an issue, but I will say that I think of it more than he does(I am 48 he is 27). We are very lucky, my family and friends love him and the same goes for his family and friends, they love me. It took my husband 5 months before he found his first job in the US(which was a nightmare job) and an additional 5 months beyond that for him to find a job in his field. Even with a degree in computer engineering and experience in his home country, no one in the US was willing to hire a new immigrant with zero experience here, it was tough. He works as an intern, but he loves his job, they treat him well, and in December when his contract is up they have already told him they will hire him on a permanent basis(YAY!). I can't tell you what to do, that is up to you, but just make sure you weigh all the factors and think it through long and hard. The visa process is long and difficult(not to mention expensive) and puts a lot of stress on the relationship, it isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, and once he gets here it is even more difficult. For us it has worked out and it was worth every last tear and penny we spent. We are one of the success stories(so far).

Look anther successful story

Wow! How could I leave out your post, outstanding 21 years older. Yeah great picture of the two of you.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

I am 20 years older than my fiancée and have 4 children from my previous marriages. We were approved without AP on 9/12 for his K1 visa. He will be here god willing by December 15th. We have been together 2 years and I have been to Amman 5 times and I am also Middle Eastern. I believe the number of my visits and the fact we applied one year after being together plus all the proof of our relationship I presented assured the consulate our relationship was solid.

It has not been easy by any means, it tests every fiber of the relationship and trust me when I say I have been on an emotional roller coaster. If it werent for my friends here such as the lovely mimolicious supporting me and listening to me complain I probably would have thrown in the towel.

Thank god I didnt cause we are so happy right now - over the hurdle and with the stress of the visa gone we are once again madly in love

I know it wont always be like this and we have many more hurdles to face once he arrives but nothing can be as hard as being separated for two years and not knowing if we would be approved or end up in AP.

My best advice is get to know him - dont rush into the visa process because you need a solid foundation to build on.

Age is just a number and we laugh all the time because he is much more mature than I am and thankfully I take excellent care of myself so the age difference is not too apparent.

I pray to continue to be one of the success stories too

best of luck

Jen

Now look at that, 20 years older, just another success story people.

[Madeinmorocco2 15]

I & my wife have 28 years age gap, i'm the young one, and we made it just recently on Aug 2013, i got my IR-1 visa, most people had no hope for us, but with comittement we made it at one of the toughest US consulate in the world....Casablanca.

It took 2 1/2 years since the date of filing with a denial + NOIR to finaly get approved, lots of drama pain frustration limbo but it is still possible with such significant age difference.

I'm here in the US waiting for an end to this government shutdown so i can obtain my social security #. Plz don't be discouraged, you can make it, you're blessed to be here in Visajourney prior to filing, learn as much as possible, and i agree with Futureberberwife, get to know your hubby deeply, learn from others' mistakes, and ignore those who try to discourage you, alright? Peace

Amazing story brother, 28 years older, and yet another successful post.

[MouadsWife 161]

Thumbs up for a great post.

Thumbs up accepted. Thanks!

Thumbs up for a great post.

Thumbs up accepted. Thanks!

[MouadsWife 161]

Yeah the comparisons aren't necessary. The OP wants a shortsighted opinion of the successfulness of May December MENA relationships not which kind of young pup is better and less likely to piss on the floor and chew the sofa. She's in love and sees the visa as the be all end all. I suppose at this stage most people see the visa as the ultimate prize.

If you had been reading her posts, or anyone's posts here on MENA or Visa Journey for that matter, you would hopefully know or realize that this is not a pissing contest or game where husbands and wives are not to be prizes to won in the end. We are speaking of peoples lives and feelings and not as you quoted where "the visa is the ultimate prize".

[Boiler 43,548]

She's in love and sees the visa as the be all end all. I suppose at this stage most people see the visa as the ultimate prize.

Usually it seems it is the SO not the USC who sees the GC as the ultimate prize.

I was speaking to a lady who I have not seen for a while, she has been in Morocco several times recently, I guess she may be c 40, she laughed when I asked what has she brought back...., obviously knew all about the local scene. She used the phrase Beach Boys.

[momof1 205]

Amazing story brother, 28 years older, and yet another successful post.

Successful visa issuance isn't the same as a successful marriage. What others are suggesting is that the rate of still being married after visa issuance/green card/citizenship for these relationships is very low. If your only judge of success is getting a visa then yes most are.

[berber_wife 90]

I will also add that I don't think anyone on here has been a true success story, just because the site hasn't been around for that long. Personally, I don't consider a couple a 100% success story until one is six feet under and the surviving spouse looks back and says, "gee, we were really happy and in love to the end."

Also, I understand that it's frustrating to feel like people don't take your relationship seriously because it's "too soon to tell." Unfortunately, it's a fact of life and something all people in newish relationships feel to an extent.

Edited October 15, 2013 by futureberberwife

[Mithra 1,185]

The ultimate prize in terms of the immigration process. I've read this forum for the past 7 yrs. I know what people talk about here. The OP doesn't realize that the actual visa itself is nothing in the grand scheme of things. In the beginning, yes, most people look at the getting the visa as a huge hurdle to overcome. It's not though. The biggest hurdle has absolutely nothing to do with the visa or green card or anything immigration related. The biggest hurdle comes when the beneficiary and petitioner come to live with each other in real life and not for a week, month, year....years.

If you had been reading her posts, or anyone's posts here on MENA or Visa Journey for that matter, you would hopefully know or realize that this is not a pissing contest or game where husbands and wives are not to be prizes to won in the end. We are speaking of peoples lives and feelings and not as you quoted where "the visa is the ultimate prize".

[Mithra 1,185]

Successful how? Because he got a visa? That's not successful. When he comes back here after he's got his citizenship and his finances in order and he's STILL with his 28 yr his senior wife, then I'll applaud his success.

Amazing story brother, 28 years older, and yet another successful post.

[MouadsWife 161]

The ultimate prize in terms of the immigration process. I've read this forum for the past 7 yrs. I know what people talk about here. The OP doesn't realize that the actual visa itself is nothing in the grand scheme of things. In the beginning, yes, most people look at the getting the visa as a huge hurdle to overcome. It's not though. The biggest hurdle has absolutely nothing to do with the visa or green card or anything immigration related. The biggest hurdle comes when the beneficiary and petitioner come to live with each other in real life and not for a week, month, year....years.

I have also read this forum for the past several years, and one of the biggest hurdles to overcome is the immigration process. What I have learned is that immigration has no feelings.. No cares, no compassion, and could give a whit as to if a couple truly loves one another or not. You can have children, you can marry, you can be married for years and they will deny you anyhow. And don't even tell me its because they found 'something'. So yes, when two people do fall in love, whether its from Pluto or Jupiter, immigration is not going to be the least bit supportive. So immigration is a huge hurdle to overcome. In any marriage, when two people love one another you vow to love one another till death do you part. When I married my husband I did not go into that marriage with the pessimistic view 'oh wow, this is going to be a huge hurdle to overcome'. I went into with the view of all the wonderful moments we will then be sharing henseforth. All marriages have ups and downs, no marriage is perfect. But if you have communication and love between the two of you, you have a strong marriage..no matter what country, no matter what age, no matter what cultural differences. But if anyone is going to go into a marriage thinking, 'omg what a hurdle... " I suggest find you a shorter one to climb over or just walk through life and don't run. And if you want to live well break out the bandages and enjoy the ride. But Mithra I'm sorry, you have the idea all wrong... marriage is a blessing and a joy, not a hurldle.

[Mithra 1,185]

The hurdle is learning to live together in real life after the petitioner arrives. I worded it weirdly, I didn't mean that marriage itself is a hurdle.

Immigration is a hurdle, yes but it isn't even the most important part. It's a means to an end.

Edited October 15, 2013 by Mithra

[sparkles_ 456]

mithra has the right idea....I mean, think of it this way. 20 odd years older may be OK when the petitioner is in her 40s. Fast forward 10yr and see if the young man is still with her, or if he has moved on to a woman who can give him children, or just moved on in general. Also I can speak for this. I married the first time when I was 20. I grew up over the course of the marriage and my growing up is what killed things; we do not stay the same when we enter into a union so young. Mindsets and goals and outlooks on life change. We aren't the same at age 22 as we are at 27, and so on.