dont want to wait another 4 or 5 months

[Carie_Azan 35]

Back in June or July when I got the September interview date I was sure I couldn't possibly hang in there.

For whatever reason those final 2 months were the hardest but we hung in there.

I'm going to ask you to do the same as the reward is amazing at the end.

I thought I was prepared for my Wifes arrival but I wasn't. So take time to prepare. Apparently I needed more than two mismatched cups, too small cooking pans and disposable paper plates - lol.

LOL, this was me too. the last two months were the hardest by far. You are entitled to feel the way you do, so dont let any jerk tell you different. Hang in there. Soon enough your mate will be here! Like Gowon, I swore I was ready for my then Fiance, but really was not at all. He is here now, has been for a few months and sometimes I really, really have to remind myself how much time, effort and love we put into this journey ( if you get what I am saying) It will always be work, and sadly the waiting does not stop there. AOS is a whole nother "game" good luck to you. I had MANY of these days. XxX

It's amazing to me that someone could second guess getting married due to some separation stress and paperwork.

Give the OP a break! we are all HUMAN!

[QueenE 173]

This is a long long journey. You have to know that the only way to overcome the stress is either relocating to be with him or hanging in there. I was pregnant when I was in your position, everyday a new development would happen in my pregnancy my heart would break because he wasn't here to experience it with me. At one point I was ready to quit school and move to Nigeria, because I couldn't stand how much my life was on hold because of a third party.My daughter was born and we were still waiting... I understand the hurt and so does everyone else here, but if you love someone. You have to be strong. Imagine women whose husbands are in the military and shipped away from there families for even longer time. It took us 9 months before he got his final approval. Breaking up over this is not even worth it, if you know this person is the right one for you. May I suggest just getting off visa journey for a while, and go do things that keeps you too occupied to think about this process every waking minute. I remember I had to take a little break from here, because I started to get jealous when I saw people getting approved.

[QueenE 173]

Back in June or July when I got the September interview date I was sure I couldn't possibly hang in there.

For whatever reason those final 2 months were the hardest but we hung in there.

I'm going to ask you to do the same as the reward is amazing at the end.

I thought I was prepared for my Wifes arrival but I wasn't. So take time to prepare. Apparently I needed more than two mismatched cups, too small cooking pans and disposable paper plates - lol.

Dear lord, I couldn't even imagine how things would be if my husband was the one having to bring me here. I'm very OCD, who knows what kind of mismatched cups situation I would of walked into lol. Actually no cups it has to be glasses. and two small cooking pans? really! You brought an African woman here to two small pans. Lol looks like you should of been looking for home keeping advice as well. Ugh Men!

[aamirpearl 47]

It's amazing to me that someone could second guess getting married due to some separation stress and paperwork.

I agree with you.

[AmyWrites 593]

Then quit. If a few months is enough to make you consider breaking up, you shouldn't get married, it's not that important to you. It astounds me how people talk about breaking up like if their loved ones are replaceable; I CANNOT imagine my life without my husband... I'd wait the few months, even if it hurt and I was miserable through it.

[Operator 1,925]

i am tired of waiting, got my NOA2 , now the earliest embassy date is January. my heart cannot take any more. i am calling it quits. i am making irrational decisions. the loneliness is eating me alive. i wish i never stated this. i wish you all well in your journey.

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - never knowing.”

― Jim Rohn

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Perhaps you should quit because your partner deserves better than a quitter.

Do you realize there are many people here waiting in AP for years ?

I met my fiance 4 years ago and we filed in 2010. We were in AP, denied and are starting over.

So please if you can't wait 3 more months or however long it will take do yourself and your fiance a favor and quit.

Will you bolt this easy too once you are married ?

Get yourself together.

I think it's time to grow up or move on.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I find this absolutely ridiculous.

[VolcarSS 2]

I too am totally frustrated with the process especially as it relates to NVC. There seems to be no urgency on their part to complete the visa process and it appears that they are more focused on finding ways to delay it. In my case our (my wife and I) petitions have been with the NVC since March 2013 (the entire process was started November 2012) and to date we are still unable to secure interview dates. We have received three checklist to date, the first one was for I-864 AOS and the other two were for I-864A AOS and what has us extremely frustrated and upset in that we submitted both requested revised I-864A to NVC in one envelop, however, they are insisting that they have received only one. Consequently, we had to resubmit another I-864A and we are now being told that we have to wait another 30 days for it to be reviewed.

What makes it even more frustrating there is no one to appeal to as NVC seem to be a law onto themselves. With the USCIS there is the Office of the Citizenship and Immigration Services Ombudsman, you can also make an appointment and have your case reviewed, however, there is no such option with the NVC, consequently you are left to the mercy of the whims and fancy of the NVC staff.

I get very upset with VJ’s members who constantly make excuses for the NVC by stating things that we must all be patient and it is Government, ergo, we must understand that things take time be strong etc. May I remind all VJ members that we pay for this process at every step and if we were dealing with a private sector company and required to pay all this money we would NOT accept the kind of service we are getting from NVC.

I personally thing that the Department of State needs to establish an oversight body for the NVC similar to the USCIS Ombudsman where persons can get some redress when petitions cases are not being properly and justly treated at NVC

[tehans 52]

Then quit. If a few months is enough to make you consider breaking up, you shouldn't get married, it's not that important to you. It astounds me how people talk about breaking up like if their loved ones are replaceable; I CANNOT imagine my life without my husband... I'd wait the few months, even if it hurt and I was miserable through it.

Agreed, and what when you have a real problem in life besides being impatient?

[fantonledzepp 159]

i am tired of waiting, got my NOA2 , now the earliest embassy date is January. my heart cannot take any more. i am calling it quits. i am making irrational decisions. the loneliness is eating me alive. i wish i never stated this. i wish you all well in your journey.

Well, which is it? Wish you never stated this? Or, wish you never started this?

If you can't wait, then it's better you do quit. Better now than after you're married.

Edited October 3, 2013 by fantonledzepp

[bigdog 376]

Unfortunately this process is not for the faint of heart, time or money. Patience is the name of the game.

[sparkles_ 456]

I haven't even filed anything yet and I'm having days like this as well. However I can see it like this. A year or two will pass with us apart either way. I would rather wait, shed tears, get pissed, etc during two years knowing that the end is near versus toss in the towel and try to go on about my life and wonder what if.

I have a feeling OP is just venting and having a rough patch. Cut them some slack.

Edited October 3, 2013 by beccabecca

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Perhaps you should quit because your partner deserves better than a quitter.

Do you realize there are many people here waiting in AP for years ?

I met my fiance 4 years ago and we filed in 2010. We were in AP, denied and are starting over.

So please if you can't wait 3 more months or however long it will take do yourself and your fiance a favor and quit.

Will you bolt this easy too once you are married ?

Get yourself together.

I think it's time to grow up or move on.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I find this absolutely ridiculous.

So much YES right here.

OP - USCIS told me they were putting all petitions for beneficiaries from my fiance's country on hold. Indefinitely. I could wait another month or I could wait years just to get my NOA2. Then many months waiting for an interview, then many months of AP. I'm talking years. You are talking a few months. Like others have intimated, I too cannot offer you a shred of sympathy.

If you can't handle a few more months apart, if it's too difficult for you, then not only are you not ready or dedicated enough to marry your fiance, you are not ready to get married period. Marriage is hard. It is full of struggles and sacrifices and obstacles. You are clearly not up to the task, as you can't seem to handle getting what you want when you want it. Sorry hun, but that's not how life works. Better you found that out now rather than face divorce somewhere down the road. Better for your poor fiance too.

[ltkenbo 3]

My fiance and I have been apart for 2 years, and I only get to see her every 6 or 7 months. It's been really hard but we don't give up because we love each other. We haven't even gotten our NOA2 yet and you're talking about an interview and the visa. You can't wait 3 more months really?? You must being doing this for the wrong reasons then.

Edited October 3, 2013 by ltkenbo

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Dear lord, I couldn't even imagine how things would be if my husband was the one having to bring me here. I'm very OCD, who knows what kind of mismatched cups situation I would of walked into lol. Actually no cups it has to be glasses. and two small cooking pans? really! You brought an African woman here to two small pans. Lol looks like you should of been looking for home keeping advice as well. Ugh Men!

I came out of a 14 year marraige so I was kinda rusty in terms of kitchen utensils

We were off of the plane at 10, at home by noon and after a quick sortie around the house we were inside Costco by 2pm.

It all felt so normal. Well except that I had to keep reminding her that she can't negotiate the price

It's still almost unbelievable that she's actually here and I'll never take that for granted. OP, if everything is equal in terms of your relationship please hang in there. It's a process that we all endured. Some even harder than most. I mean some Spouses have a lifetime ban and stuff.