Sociopathic Neighbor - need some suggestions.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Our next door neighbor is an every day nuisance. She imposes & intrudes in various ways. We successfully fight off 1 intrusion only to have her create a new way to annoy the hell out of us resulting in a new war.

Set the stage -

Our neighborhood is = Garages in the back. Each home has ample driveway and garage space to accommodate multiple vehicles. Very nicely landscaped and well maintained lawns. 3500-6000 square feet homes. Most residents = children in college or grown & gone. Our nearest neighbors are advanced education white collar professionals.

In other words = we're all a bunch of uptight "intellectuals" (AKA - know it all Azzholes) living that "I busted my azz to get where I am so don't mess with my sheet & we'll get along just fine". We fit right in! & for the most part - our neighbors are nice people with friendly smiles & good senses of humor. Courteous, polite & demonstrate an appropriate understanding of neighborly etiquette.

Except for the Sociopath backwoods hick living right next door to us.

The Hag -

A Nurse Practitioner. Single mom of 2 college age daughters. Pet owner = 5 Dogs = 2 adult black labs 1 husky mix & 2 tiny mutts. Chain Smoker. Has the = I cry while I explain why I make my problems your problems & says to my wife while I'm standing right there - "all the men in this neighborhood are complete Azzes" "the only reason they complain to me is bcoz I don't have a husband", "so, woman to woman - help me out" = let me do what I want even if it annoys the hell out of you & your husband...attitude.

Battle of the Parking - Hag & her daughters park all 4 of their cars in front of their house & her West neighbor house & our (we are her east neighbor) house. My wife went over & put a note on her windshield asking her to not park in front of our house. As we were leaving that day.. hag spotted us - approached us & came to my wife's side of the car - & with about 9 inches of space between their 2 faces (my wife backed away in revulsion due to eye boogers & stench of Camels) launched into a crying rant about why she parks out front = Violent ex husband (no1 has ever seen)...neighborhood crawling with night burglars (we have a watch & never an incident)... daughters have parallel parking disabilities. I offered multiple solutions which garnered smirks & eye rolls.

Soon after we discovered the real reason for front parking = Daughter left garage doors open revealing = a junk trove American Pickers would covet. Most of it appears to "man stuff". We have decided = She is not hiding from Ex husband. She is hoping he will spot the vehicles. He ain't coming back. THE MAN ESCAPED! Propensity of fact = He even left his Harley.

Solution = 1 of the cars is blown piston = dead & illegally parked - I called Frisco PD - they came out & gave her 30 days to move vehicle. Car is now parked in rear driveway. We are down to 3. btw...it wouldn't matter if these were 3 BMWs or Benzies...if they're parking in front of our house = we gotta fight.

Battle of the Bark - Hag keeps dogs pent up all day. They never take them for a walk. They keep them in the house for most of the day. Their backyard reeks of dog feces. The older black lab has become a frenetic barker. Meaning = he barks as soon as he is let outside - non stop - for no apparent reason other than the poor dog has been made insane.

Rumor has it - Dogs are kept in separate cages while Hag & daughters are gone (early morning to 10ish - for daughters - midday to midnight for Hag). Dogs are silent until about 8pm & the bark choir begins inside their house. It continues until daughters return home. Dogs are let outside promptly & continue barking. West neighbor informs - he won an animal control complaint against Hag 4 months before we moved into neighborhood (took him over a year). Dogs also bark before 7am - sometimes as early as 5-6am. I'm already awake but my wife is not..well..she wasn't. BTW - The dog barking woke us up 13/15 1st nights after moving in. It occurred as late as 1:30am.

Solution - What I just described in current conditions. This is an improvement resulting from us calling the Police 6 times with the last call garnering a Hag citation. We have also initiated our own AC complaint. It is ongoing.

Border War - The brief time the dogs are allowed outside - 2 of them immediately go to work digging an escape tunnel while the Black Lab distracts with his constant barking. (we think) The dogs are attempting an escape to find the ex husband. Every now & then 1 will pop his head out from under the fence & look at us with a "please...for the love of Lassie & Rin Tin Tin! Help us!! The dogs have successfully dug deep enough for the 2 mutts to slip through & have gnawed a hole in the fence attempting to free their bigger brothers. The Hag decided to foil their escape by placing various sized pavers & rocks in the hole. This Hag made plug is half way into our yard.

Solution - Every day I go outside & toss each paver/ rock back over their fence & in different locations. I figure I'm helping them get exercise as they gather up & rebuild the wall & the 2 mutts are able to run free while wall is under construction Each time they rebuild the wall, they modify it in attempt to prevent me from destructing it & to reengineer more Dog proof (coz the Dogs are helping me tear it down). It is like watching a discovery channel episode of mans evolution - use of rocks as tools. After a month long battle. The 3 finally built a structure that does not trespass onto our property. Sorry Dogs. Game over.

Current issue is the parking again. Since border war has stopped - the Hag has returned to parking her vehicle in front of our house. There is enough room in front of her house, if the daughters would squeeze tighter (they leave a half car distance between each vehicle - front and back) but Hag has decided there is plenty of room in front of our house so...,

Sorry for the long read. I need some Ideas how to make the Hag park in her driveway or park her cars - just/only in front of her own house.

I know a throat punch is best suited for this situation but...well...the police wouldn't think so.

Thanks for taking time to read! Any & All feedback is much appreciated.

Edited August 30, 2013 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Teddy B 17,251]

She's a nuisance neighbor, if it's not one thing, it will be another.

The only cure would be either you or she moves.

[Novembro 1,763]

A) Call the humane society and report the conditions in which she keeps her domesticated animals.

B) Get some weed killer and, late in the night, spray a giant ####### on her front lawn.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

A) Call the humane society and report the conditions in which she keeps her domesticated animals.

B) Get some weed killer and, late in the night, spray a giant ####### on her front lawn.

A) Contacted Humane Society - They kicked me back to Animal Control.

B) NICE! That's the type of ideas I'm hoping for!

[Novembro 1,763]

You could also buy some of this and spray it under the cars, around her windows, etc.

http://www.amazon.com/Code-Blue-Doe-Urine-2-Ounce/dp/B002QG23I8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1377875950&sr=8-2&keywords=deer+urine

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

You could also buy some of this and spray it under the cars, around her windows, etc.

http://www.amazon.com/Code-Blue-Doe-Urine-2-Ounce/dp/B002QG23I8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1377875950&sr=8-2&keywords=deer+urine

I will read up on it.

I'm not familiar with this product. I imagine it reeks - badly...?

[SMOKE 1,426]

1st world problems. sheesh

idk about you. but, if i keep picking up nails in my tires when i park somewhere. i park somewhere else.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

http://www.amazon.com/Special-Ingredients-Revenge-Military-Grade-Solution/dp/B004RQIYF6/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_I

Perhaps this will work too?

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

1st world problems. sheesh

idk about you. but, if i keep picking up nails in my tires when i park somewhere. i park somewhere else.

Good suggestion - Asawa Ko offered the same idea. ..but ...I'm chicken - I don't want any problems with the law...?

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

You could also buy some of this and spray it under the cars, around her windows, etc.

http://www.amazon.com/Code-Blue-Doe-Urine-2-Ounce/dp/B002QG23I8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1377875950&sr=8-2&keywords=deer+urine

Just hung with Bass Pro & BP reps agrees with your suggestion. Advised - spray it on the Grass & Curb - will stink until washed off = we are gonna get up and head that way!

Thanks for the idea!

( I can't wait to stink the Hag away I'm giggling the xmas morning giggle)

[Novembro 1,763]

I truly hope you're being serious.

In for pics/vids.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I truly hope you're being serious.

In for pics/vids.

Yes, my husband is very serious. He's out preparing the "target area". After we buy the stink spray, we will up a picture to let you know which one we chose.

[Novembro 1,763]

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Build the wife a mud kitchen upwind from the neighbor's house. When the wind is right, have her start cooking tuyo (dried herring), or burning hair and old gym socks. The smell is about the same.

[Darnell 8,478]

Dogs - get some sleeping pills, crush to powder, mix in with raw meat, toss over the wall .

Human - make a batch of chocolate exlax-imbued brownies - give to neighbor, once a week.