Getting a divorce while on conditional Green card, what are my rights?

[bomberman 0]

Hi, i need help regarding my situation.

So me and my future ex-husband got married sometime in December of 2011, unfortunately things didn't work out for both of us that I had to leave and go to another state, supposed to be to think and for him to realized that he's willing to do everything to win me back, but it didn't happen that way. We've been separated since November of 2012, now we are looking to file for divorce (w/c i didn't want) but he thinks we're never gonna work coz of our differences..

He cut my phone and credit card and I tried asking him for spousal support since I am only getting paid less than a thousand a month with my job. We have a dog that's with him right now coz my place does not accept pets, so I am looking for a place for me and my dog coz i am getting him by the end of the month, that's Another reason why I was asking for his support. He said that I am not entitled to a spousal support since i was the one who left, (I didn't leave for no reason at all). I left because his temper issue gets in our way... he yells and curses most the time even small things that should never be a problem becomes a problem, and some intimate issues.. anyways, I was asking for 1k/month for support (he told me to give him numbers) then he said it's too much and he would only be willing to give me $350/month and also willing to give my RING back (engagement ring) , which i left because he kept on saying he was in debt, so I left it so he could pay his debts. the ring would be amounting to 12-14k.

2nd concern would be my Immigration status, my 2-year GC is expiring June of 2014, so i was wondering what will happen if we get divorce later this year how am i supposed to file the removal of condition. I read though that I can actually file for it but then we would have to sign like an affidavit that we both entered a faithfull marriage and it just didn't work out.

Please let me know where to run to. Lawyer would be my last resort. because as much as possible i don't want things to get ugly between us. and also , i won't be able to afford a lawyer.

Thanks in advance!

[pro_star 52]

I hate to say it but you should go to a lawyer. Or even go to the courthouse, see if they have anyone who may be able to help you or work pro bono (basically they volunteer their time). Family law can be complex, and once you throw immigration into the mix...and as much as you say you don't want things to get nasty, if he is digging his heels in and not helping you out...you're already there.

Some lawyers might even be able to give you a free consultation - point you in the right direction at least.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

You can file for removal of condition on your own once the divorce is done.

You need to provide proof of a bone fide marriage.

As for spousal support, depending on the length of marriage and the state you are in - Community Property v. Equitable Distribution.

[fantonledzepp 159]

Why don't you just go back home?

Edited June 6, 2013 by fantonledzepp

[bomberman 0]

Why don't you just go back home?

I wanted to, but he won't buy me plane ticket to the Philippines

You can file for removal of condition on your own once the divorce is done.

You need to provide proof of a bone fide marriage.

As for spousal support, depending on the length of marriage and the state you are in - Community Property v. Equitable Distribution.

He lives in NY and I'm in California right now. i tried consulting with a lawyer from here but they said they won't be able to do anything about it if the papers were filed in NY

[fantonledzepp 159]

I wanted to, but he won't buy me plane ticket to the Philippines

He lives in NY and I'm in California right now. i tried consulting with a lawyer from here but they said they won't be able to do anything about it if the papers were filed in NY

I'm sorry about that. You're on the right path, you should still be able to get the ball rolling in NY, but it may cost a lot, being that you're in CA.

[bomberman 0]

I hate to say it but you should go to a lawyer. Or even go to the courthouse, see if they have anyone who may be able to help you or work pro bono (basically they volunteer their time). Family law can be complex, and once you throw immigration into the mix...and as much as you say you don't want things to get nasty, if he is digging his heels in and not helping you out...you're already there.

Some lawyers might even be able to give you a free consultation - point you in the right direction at least.

Thanks, well I already tried consulting with a lawyer from here ( Cali) but they said that i have to consult a lawyer from NY since the papers are being filed there..

I'm planning on flying there by the end of the month,, i just really don't know where to start..

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

*** Moving from K1 progress report to Effects of Major Changes forum ***

[ConGau1981 56]

He bought you a $14,000 engagement ring.....Is that the reason he is in debt?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Hi, i need help regarding my situation.

So me and my future ex-husband got married sometime in December of 2011, unfortunately things didn't work out for both of us that I had to leave and go to another state, supposed to be to think and for him to realized that he's willing to do everything to win me back, but it didn't happen that way. We've been separated since November of 2012, now we are looking to file for divorce (w/c i didn't want) but he thinks we're never gonna work coz of our differences..

He cut my phone and credit card and I tried asking him for spousal support since I am only getting paid less than a thousand a month with my job. We have a dog that's with him right now coz my place does not accept pets, so I am looking for a place for me and my dog coz i am getting him by the end of the month, that's Another reason why I was asking for his support. He said that I am not entitled to a spousal support since i was the one who left, (I didn't leave for no reason at all). I left because his temper issue gets in our way... he yells and curses most the time even small things that should never be a problem becomes a problem, and some intimate issues.. anyways, I was asking for 1k/month for support (he told me to give him numbers) then he said it's too much and he would only be willing to give me $350/month and also willing to give my RING back (engagement ring) , which i left because he kept on saying he was in debt, so I left it so he could pay his debts. the ring would be amounting to 12-14k.

2nd concern would be my Immigration status, my 2-year GC is expiring June of 2014, so i was wondering what will happen if we get divorce later this year how am i supposed to file the removal of condition. I read though that I can actually file for it but then we would have to sign like an affidavit that we both entered a faithfull marriage and it just didn't work out.

Please let me know where to run to. Lawyer would be my last resort. because as much as possible i don't want things to get ugly between us. and also , i won't be able to afford a lawyer.

Thanks in advance!

You can remove conditions on your own if you can prove that you entered the marriage in good faith. IMHO, you won't have this proof for being married for less than a year but I hope that I am wrong.

You can file in California but you need to establish residency here first, especially since this is a small fry divorce for such a short period,

Now that we've got that out of the way let's get to the nitty gritty.

I would think establishing yourself fist would be a priority and not looking for a suitable place of abode for you and a Dog.

Also, if you have money to fly to California why couldn't you fly back home instead?

Finally, why do you think that he owes you spousal support? You were married for less than a year. It's one thing if he feels like being righteous if you're playing ball but to demand a certain amount seems unreasonably greedy.

I am skeptical but I still wish you good luck on your journey.

PS: Have you appraised the alleged $14k ring?

[belinda63 2,981]

He only owes you whatever the family court says he owes you, which given your short marriage, likely won't be anything. You moved out, by your choice, to the other side of the country. Worry about obtaining proof of marriage, copies of joint bills, leases, having each other on your insurance, and such.

[Inky 1,110]

I wanted to, but he won't buy me plane ticket to the Philippines

He lives in NY and I'm in California right now. i tried consulting with a lawyer from here but they said they won't be able to do anything about it if the papers were filed in NY

If he really does give you the ring back couldn't you sell it and buy your tickets home? Might be worth it that way for you. Then save the rest to help you when you are home.

[Operator 1,925]

I wanted to, but he won't buy me plane ticket to the Philippines

Have you given up completely on your desire to go back to the Philippines? Because he won't buy you a ticket?

I just looked on Orbitz and 1 way from JFK to MNL is $770. It's cost you a whole lot more than that to live in California since November last year.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

He bought you a $14,000 engagement ring.....Is that the reason he is in debt?

I might be wrong but maybe she meant karats. In any case, the margin paid for a 14,000 ring is high, you would be very lucky if you get a 3rd of that, and selling it fo rthe gold content would be even worst of a deal.

[Christi85 86]

Agree with Inky and Operator.

If you want to go back to the Philippines, there is surely a way. Here's a few ideas:

1) what Inky said. Get the ring back, sell it, buy a ticket back home, pocket the rest of the amount

2) you're legally allowed to work for another year, until your GC expires. Is it an option to try and find a job, save up for a few months and use your savings to buy a ticket back home?

3) could your family in the Philippines help you at all with purchasing the ticket, or could a friend here in the US lend you the money for it and you can then pay them back over time?

4) provided that you have another way of supporting yourself (e.g. through work), you could get the $350/month that your ex is willing to give you as spousal support, not spend it for 2-3 months, and ta-da, here's the money for your flight back!

5) I wouldn't recommend this one, but you could just let your GC expire, not file for removal of conditions and let the US government put you in deportation proceedings and pay for your flight back. I wouldn't recommend this one though, because a) it could actually take a long time and you would need a way to support yourself in the meantime, plus losing status and becoming illegal would result in you not being able to work anymore or you'd have to work under the table, and b) it would trigger a ban for you for returning to the US, so if you ever wanted to return (even as a tourist) you would have to wait for the ban to be lifted first - and I think that is a 10 year ban. So I wouldn't personally go down that route. But it is an option.

So yes, there are several options on how you could fund a return to the Philippines if this is something you are considering in any seriousness.

Now if you decide to stay in the US, you will have to file ROC by yourself using a divorce waiver and rock solid proof that the marriage was entered in good faith. An interview should be expected, which shouldn't be a big problem if you have good evidence (a lot of people with divorce waivers get approved on a daily basis), and like other people have said, an experienced attorney could be of much help here.

Best of luck!

P.S. I've no idea how this is legally going to work with him living in NY and you living in Cali, but California is automatically a no fault divorce state, meaning any joint assets get divided 50-50 no matter who initiated the divorce and why, and the spouse who makes more income has to pay the other spousal support (unless an agreement is reached where both parties waive the requirement for spousal support). I also don't think the length of marriage has much to do with it. Once you're married, everything is joint property and should you divorce, everything gets divided in half. I think New York may be stricter than California in that respect, so I guess it depends on where the divorce petition is filed.