you are not welcomed in my home where i alone pay my bills

[Faris27 0]

My wife is an american and after a long procedure we ended up getting my ir1 visa.. My

wife is of bad temper, kind of depressive , stubborn, get mad so easily and so on .. So she asks

and insists on a divorce just because I've asked her to postpone my departure for the US

until the end of my employment contract (June 30) when I could have my work certificate

and a letter of recommendation which it makes it easy for me to find a job in my field once in

the US.

The point now is this .. She says : “ i dont know where you will stay if you choose to come here. you are not welcomed in my home where i alone pay my bills. i am speaking to the chief of police ”

Yet, the address where i should receive my green card once i am there is at her house.

Now i am confused and dont know what to do .. any advice is highly appreciated

Thank you.

[Darnell 8,478]

At this stage, I suggest reconciliation.

[Possiblymaybe 371]

Long distance relationships suck. She was probably hoping you would rush to be with her once you were finally approved, and is disappinted that you don't want to do that. Talk to her. You two will work this out.

[bsd058 296]

She might just be emotional right now as she has waited a long time for you. If you explain how it will help the both of you in the long run, and you keep calm and be sensitive to her, she might calm down.

Though, she mentioned something about bills. Are you trying to help her out with the bills? She might be in need of money and you could be neglecting her in this way. Consider talking to her about what would make it easier on her if you stayed where you are for the next month.

Edited May 14, 2013 by bsd058

[fantonledzepp 159]

Sorry you're going through this. Right now her mind isn't in its right place. Wait till she calms down and then talk.

Women are freaking nuts!

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Jumping to divorce for delaying your departure by a month?? Geez, man, tough break. She needs to understand how hard it is for new immigrants to get good jobs in the US. Plenty of members on this forum can speak to that experience. If I were your wife I'd understand that despite the emotional toll the distance has taken. Maybe you can send her some money until then (doesn't have to be much - I suspect based on your name you're from a MENA country so your currency may be worth less than the dollar) so she doesn't feel like she's paying all the bills herself. But just a forewarning once you get to the US you may be unemployed for a while until you find a new job. All the best to you.

Edit: No clue what she is talking about when she says chief of police... what police? Lol. I suspect she's just angry. I hope for your sake when you get here and get settled she'll treat you better.

Edited May 14, 2013 by Sarah and Adnan

[Clemjam 8]

I know what you are going through.

My husband is having a really hard time right now and has been accusing me of all sorts of things.

I have decided to try not be hurt by those words, which aren't a portrayal of himself, simply that those feelings get out when due to stress and emotional fatigue.

Talk through with her.

I spent over 10 hours talking with my husband over this week end, we re still working at it. As someone above says, long distance relationships really suck!

[Darnell 8,478]

Fariz27 - what country are you in, at the moment ?

[Ryan H 3,790]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Process & Procedures to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

[comment deleted]

Edited May 15, 2013 by TBoneTX

[Penny Pincher 11]

Just understand each other. I used to be like your girl's attitude when I get mad to my husband asking for break up, leave me alone etc. Gladly, my husband knows my real intention and he never left me. When the pressure is up, it's better to shut up for a while and think over things. Silence from relationship doesn't mean you're forgetting each other but contemplating how you valued your relationship for a quite long time. My husband and I used to be on Long Distance Relationship for 6 years. He spent too much for him to visit me and stayed 6 mos every year and sometimes in two years we don't see each other but just on video calls. Now, we are on NVC stage and it won't be long that we will be together forever. Make her realize that you won't leave her, that you both can do move mountains (you know what I mean) if you are there for each other. Good luck

Edited May 15, 2013 by Jeize loves Yalee

[Faris27 0]

Fariz27 - what country are you in, at the moment ?

I am from Morocco Darnell

[Faris27 0]

At this stage, I suggest reconciliation.

I am doing my best

[Faris27 0]

Jumping to divorce for delaying your departure by a month?? Geez, man, tough break. She needs to understand how hard it is for new immigrants to get good jobs in the US. Plenty of members on this forum can speak to that experience. If I were your wife I'd understand that despite the emotional toll the distance has taken. Maybe you can send her some money until then (doesn't have to be much - I suspect based on your name you're from a MENA country so your currency may be worth less than the dollar) so she doesn't feel like she's paying all the bills herself. But just a forewarning once you get to the US you may be unemployed for a while until you find a new job. All the best to you.

Edit: No clue what she is talking about when she says chief of police... what police? Lol. I suspect she's just angry. I hope for your sake when you get here and get settled she'll treat you better.

You are right brother i am from a MENA country .. she a reverted wearing hijab though you cann't imagine how stubborn she is and how much she like fight and quarrel.. she even drive to irving islamic center just to inquire about "khulaa" when i said "no way to divorce her". The problem comes from her childhood when her mom mistreated her and i always have been telling to consult a psy but sh keeps refusing.

What should i do when i am there lawfully speaking as my green card should be forwarded at her home adress in i think 45 days after my admittance to the US.

[Faris27 0]

Long distance relationships suck. She was probably hoping you would rush to be with her once you were finally approved, and is disappinted that you don't want to do that. Talk to her. You two will work this out.

A Moroccan in the US .. How are you brother?