MY FIANCE IS READY TO GO HOME

[LA NEGRA 19]

MY FIANCE IS READY TO GO HOME AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN GOT MARRIED... ALL THIS WAIT AND EFFORT FOR NOTHING!

[Cathi 5,610]

why? Adjusting for some people isn't easy. unfortunately.

[Esmeralda715 8]

Hoping he gets over it soon. It's something different for our men and some just can't deal/handle with all the changes, laws,rules etc etc. And some people just can't be without there family back home. Give it time and see how it plays out.

[MAGGY@SANDI 6]

I am sorry to hear that...whats wrong? That is my fear

[GodsGift225 54]

MY FIANCE IS READY TO GO HOME AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN GOT MARRIED... ALL THIS WAIT AND EFFORT FOR NOTHING!

OMG mama!! I'm sorry to hear that.... Have hope don't get discourage and try giving him a little bit of space, as adjusting to a new life is hard, he is probably a little homesick. Give some time, try and talk to him calmly and letting him know you understand it is a hard but that this is something you guys wanted, See how you guy can just go into a court house(city hall) get married and try to file for his status... As you know if he leave he won't be able to come back and you will have to start all over again. I really do hope you guys can work something out.... It's kind of heartbreaking to hear stories like this when we only know all the time and effort we put into this process but again, only they know how difficult it is on there part, and being away from there homelands... at least we get to travel anywhere and its "normal" for us, but this is a totally new experiences for him.

Hope things can play out well this is a tough decision!

Edited January 8, 2013 by GodsGift225

[perez525 8]

MY FIANCE IS READY TO GO HOME AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN GOT MARRIED... ALL THIS WAIT AND EFFORT FOR NOTHING!

I'm very sorry to know you guys are going through a tough time, it's very hard for everyone, the petitioner and the beneficiary adjusting to a new life. I must say that my husband and I have had very rough times, and even tried to send him out myself, but thank God with time and patience we have been working on our relationship and things have gotten better. It takes time and alot of communication to get through this hard adjusting period. Especially if he's not working or doesn't have a driver's license (in other words feel like they depend on us woman). I'm not sure what your situation is like, but like GodsGift225 said, you have to really sit down and make sure this is something you both want. Nobody has it easy and I know sometimes we tend to feel even more frustrated because we have put so much effort in this and we feel like is not enough for them. So don't feel like all the wait and effort was for nothing, I'm sure he's very grateful and in love, just sometimes the adjustment doesn't sit well with alot of people, being away from home, especially in this cold weather and not sitting outside drinking a beer. A little bit of space and meditating is needed. Maybe a night out just for the two of you outside of the home, as a couple, the way it was in DR with no worries and no fights. Remind each other of the great times you both had in DR and how things can be the same way, just with more responsabilities. It has helped my relationship alot, and we're both at peace with each other. Wish you the best and never give up! You have came very far to accomplish where you are at now.

Edited January 8, 2013 by perez525

[Caryh 5,206]

I'm sorry to hear that. My wife has said she wants to go home many many times, but never before we were married. She's been here since September of 2011, and she still gets homesick and wants to return. Although it has gotten much better than it used to be, that feeling is still there. Unlike how many Americans think, that everyone outside the USA and, particularly from third world countries, are dieing to get into the USA, my wife never wanted to leave her homeland. It is only because of our relationship that she agreed to move to the USA, and that was not an easy agreement to get from her.

Give him time and support, and maybe he can work through this. His comment of wanting to return home may have more to do with the pain he is feeling from homesickness than a true desire to leave you. Its not an easy ride having a homesick spouse, but if we love that person, do we have any choice but to take it? Good luck to you, and I hope you can work through this.

[GodsGift225 54]

I'm very sorry to know you guys are going through a tough time, it's very hard for everyone, the petitioner and the beneficiary adjusting to a new life. I must say that my husband and I have had very rough times, and even tried to send him out myself, but thank God with time and patience we have been working on our relationship and things have gotten better. It takes time and alot of communication to get through this hard adjusting period. Especially if he's not working or doesn't have a driver's license (in other words feel like they depend on us woman). I'm not sure what your situation is like, but like GodsGift225 said, you have to really sit down and make sure this is something you both want. Nobody has it easy and I know sometimes we tend to feel even more frustrated because we have put so much effort in this and we feel like is not enough for them. So don't feel like all the wait and effort was for nothing, I'm sure he's very grateful and in love, just sometimes the adjustment doesn't sit well with alot of people, being away from home, especially in this cold weather and not sitting outside drinking a beer. A little bit of space and meditating is needed. Maybe a night out just for the two of you outside of the home, as a couple, the way it was in DR with no worries and no fights. Remind each other of the great times you both had in DR and how things can be the same way, just with more responsabilities. It has helped my relationship alot, and we're both at peace with each other. Wish you the best and never give up! You have came very far to accomplish where you are at now.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

We went through that when I moved to Denmark. I really was sure for a time that our relationship wouldn't make it, but to be honest with you - I found the problem was certainly with Denmark and not my husband, so we filed to move back to America. Sometimes people really aren't cut out for living in other places and a K1 is a hard visa path for a man, not being able to legally work or really be independent for the first few months.

[innah 1]

homesick?

[pieroot 43]

I would suggest talking to your fiance to see where your relationship is headed. If it's solid, then you can still get married and do AP so that when that is approved, you guys can make a trip to his homeland ASAP, in the mean time, seek out fellow Dominicans, like restaurants, groceries, having social support really helps people who find themselves suddenly in a strange land! Good luck to you guys!!

[baron555 934]

MY FIANCE IS READY TO GO HOME AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN GOT MARRIED... ALL THIS WAIT AND EFFORT FOR NOTHING!

Obviously you didn't prepare them well enough for the transition. Maybe let them go back and work further on the relationship and the transition and then try again?

[Ryan H 3,790]

Moved from K1 Process & Procedures to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum.

[Moomin 292]

MAybe think of the consequences of leaving right now. The only path - if you were to change your mind after leaving - would be the CR1. NO tourist visa to the US meanwhile with a past K1 visa, atleast for most.

Your timeline indicates it's less than 3 months since POE. I admit, the first many months were THE most horrible to me. Of course we enjoyed each other and being reunited but it was hard walking around for 10 hours a day awake without rnning into one single person I had known or once knew. You know, randomly running into someone or recognizing someone, or just the area. Basically, your fiance is flat-bound. My husband was flabbergasted when I became sad over him showing me places he used to fish, go shotting/dirtbike riding as a kid. I was sad because I couldn't show the same to him. It does get better but take just as much patience as it did going through the process in different countries. And it's loads of patience and support from you as well as from him. It helped alot when I started working and sloooowly saving up for a trip to home country. Still saving.. If ya think USCIS is slow, wait until you start a job minimum wage. Have you though about setting up a joint bank account, like a saving account where you start putting money into and he follows up when getting a job? It's a neat way of seeing some sort of progress towards visiting home country and not feel stuck going nowhere.

You call him "fiance" so it indicates you are still engaged?

[Lalo & Susana 50]

MY FIANCE IS READY TO GO HOME AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN GOT MARRIED... ALL THIS WAIT AND EFFORT FOR NOTHING!

This is my biggest fear bc this happened to me when I moved to Chile. I cried almost everyday for a month straight and we almost broke up several times. The way we worked through it was talking and realizing what we both really wanted. In the end it turned out we wanted to be together. Lalo and I have talked a lot about him moving here and he's decided he's going to give it at least a year to adjust and if he hates it then we will decided where we want to move. If the relationship is strong get married and file for AOS asap so he can go visit his home country soon. Plus once having a job he will feel better. If he plays any sports enroll him into those types of activities so he can meet some friends. Try keeping him active and I don't mean just with you. He needs to have friends or other ppl to be able to hang out with. When I was in Chile and all I had was my fiance it was really hard on me but when I started working and met a few friends I felt a lot better. I really think that he is just home sick and will feel better once he has something to do.

Good luck!