Horrible marriage interview.

[JayNarl 3]

My wife and I went to our marriage based AOS interview on the 4th of September 2012. All my paperwork met the requirements and beyond to satisfy the elements needed to prove a legal and good faith marriage. The officer called my wife around 12:30pm. Our appointment was originally set for 11 am. We approached and she asked “Who are you?” there was a clear and evident raise of tone and attitude and we immediately felt something was wrong. She then told us “Get in the first office please.” Then she said, “Who is *****.” She screamed again a few times, “Who is *****? Why are you lying?” These questions were shot at my wife before she could even answer. My wife then said “Are you talking about Laura ****?” She looked again and said, “How do you know Laura *****, who’s John ****, Where did you meet him my name? my name are you lying? Why are you lying? Where are your kids at?” My wife didn’t even get a chance to answer any question before officer

screamed, “Why are you lying myname? Answer the question!”

I saw my wife start to cry. This crushed me in side. I love my wife so much. To see her fall apart like this broke me. Myname is black and I’m a white male. A lot of people out there still just don’t like a white man with a black woman. I was surprised to find this happening at the USCIS. I told Officer, “That’s Laura’s maiden name and John and her are obviously married.” She then glared quickly to myname and said, “myname where did you meet her? I’m going to ask you again!” She never even asked my wife that question. I sat there and watched her say something completely different, then belittle my wife as my wife became hysterical with tears. Then Officer continued saying, “Why aren’t your children with you myname? Where are they?” My wife was so traumatized. I was about to ask for the interview to stop because Officer was attacking my wife. This was when Officer pushed two pictures in front of her; my wife was in such shock from Officer inappropriate actions and conduct, which were clearly unethical and malicious in all nature, that she couldn’t answer who her kids were. I answered for my wife saying that is her sons, name called.

I was so afraid if I stood up for my wife that the officer would become even more malicious. This is when the officer started to yell at me. “I asked her!!!” she said as she pointed to myname, “You be quiet!!!!!”

Then she looked at me sarcastically as she looked through my income, What are you doing married to her and why do you have her son here when you can’t even take care of yourself with your disability?

Aren’t you 29? Why do your parents own your home?” I felt embarrassed as this lady discriminated me for being disabled. My wife and I just need some time to adjust. I am a certified paralegal and I also have a bachelors in Bio chemistry. I am just getting out of school. My wife who you all know as Jaynarl is a published author of 2 books on endangered animals in the Caribbean.

This lady was trying to say we have no right being married because we didn't have a big bank account?? What did it matter if my parents owned our home? They own a realty company and they also own my brother and sister homes.

She pointed a finger at a picture of my wife that she held up. “Who is this?” Officer kept repeating over and over again, to intimidate her. My wife said nothing. I was so confused myself as Officer just told me seconds before that she’s not asking me questions and to keep my mouth closed. After she discriminated against me, she was trying to tell my wife that a woman in the picture she was holding was not her and actually a photo of one of her former friends, as if my wife didn’t know what she looked like. They are both black. Officer then continued saying over and over again why is she wearing a wedding ring in the picture? My wife tried to answer, but her voice was so weak. She tried to tell her that she was the one wearing the rings in the picture and not her friend. Her friend who was previously getting married was not in that particular picture but the one before.

I answered and told Officer, “If her friends are wearing or not wearing rings this has nothing to do with our marriage.” Our marriage is a normal legitimate marriage we have plenty enough pictures all ranging from different seasons to different places we went and with different members of our family and friends. I grabbed my wife hands. I needed to let her know that I was there and I was at her side. This was not how we should be treated. I was feeling fear and I felt like crying and I constantly told myself (in my head, in the interview) that I cannot live without my wife in my life. This lady was clearly discriminating against my wife for her race and me for my disability. Officer did not want us to be together.

Then out of all my paperwork she grabs two pictures with another white male and black female couple, which wasn’t even us, but rather our friends. The lawyer suggested that in the future whenever someone has an interview and it becomes like ours that the Us citizen spouse immediately stop the interview and ask to call his or her lawyer. Do not leave the office without asking to speak to the district officer to file a complaint. Just some useful advice. Now we have to wait for a new interview. I guess they would probably visit our home, or jobs. This we would welcome.Its just so heart wrecking that when you have a legitimate marriage you have to face this #######.

My lawyer says this is not a normal interview. This officer has no right to discriminate against anyone. Discrimination is not a tactic used by the USCIS. You should never be judged or discriminated by anyone in public office. This law makes it illegal to discriminate against someone on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, disability or sex

This is just a summary of the interview. My wife was called a bad mother because her kids were in Trinidad. When I explained that we have her son here living with us, and that we are adjusting his status she went on to say why one son? Why do your parents have to take care of her and her son? The entire interview was demeaning and no one should be treated like this

[Timon 26]

My wife and I went to our marriage based AOS interview on the 4th of September 2012. All my paperwork met the requirements and beyond to satisfy the elements needed to prove a legal and good faith marriage. The officer called my wife around 12:30pm. Our appointment was originally set for 11 am. We approached and she asked “Who are you?” there was a clear and evident raise of tone and attitude and we immediately felt something was wrong. She then told us “Get in the first office please.” Then she said, “Who is *****.” She screamed again a few times, “Who is *****? Why are you lying?” These questions were shot at my wife before she could even answer. My wife then said “Are you talking about Laura ****?” She looked again and said, “How do you know Laura *****, who’s John ****, Where did you meet him my name? my name are you lying? Why are you lying? Where are your kids at?” My wife didn’t even get a chance to answer any question before officer

screamed, “Why are you lying myname? Answer the question!”

I saw my wife start to cry. This crushed me in side. I love my wife so much. To see her fall apart like this broke me. Myname is black and I’m a white male. A lot of people out there still just don’t like a white man with a black woman. I was surprised to find this happening at the USCIS. I told Officer, “That’s Laura’s maiden name and John and her are obviously married.” She then glared quickly to myname and said, “myname where did you meet her? I’m going to ask you again!” She never even asked my wife that question. I sat there and watched her say something completely different, then belittle my wife as my wife became hysterical with tears. Then Officer continued saying, “Why aren’t your children with you myname? Where are they?” My wife was so traumatized. I was about to ask for the interview to stop because Officer was attacking my wife. This was when Officer pushed two pictures in front of her; my wife was in such shock from Officer inappropriate actions and conduct, which were clearly unethical and malicious in all nature, that she couldn’t answer who her kids were. I answered for my wife saying that is her sons, name called.

I was so afraid if I stood up for my wife that the officer would become even more malicious. This is when the officer started to yell at me. “I asked her!!!” she said as she pointed to myname, “You be quiet!!!!!”

Then she looked at me sarcastically as she looked through my income, What are you doing married to her and why do you have her son here when you can’t even take care of yourself with your disability?

Aren’t you 29? Why do your parents own your home?” I felt embarrassed as this lady discriminated me for being disabled. My wife and I just need some time to adjust. I am a certified paralegal and I also have a bachelors in Bio chemistry. I am just getting out of school. My wife who you all know as Jaynarl is a published author of 2 books on endangered animals in the Caribbean.

This lady was trying to say we have no right being married because we didn't have a big bank account?? What did it matter if my parents owned our home? They own a realty company and they also own my brother and sister homes.

She pointed a finger at a picture of my wife that she held up. “Who is this?” Officer kept repeating over and over again, to intimidate her. My wife said nothing. I was so confused myself as Officer just told me seconds before that she’s not asking me questions and to keep my mouth closed. After she discriminated against me, she was trying to tell my wife that a woman in the picture she was holding was not her and actually a photo of one of her former friends, as if my wife didn’t know what she looked like. They are both black. Officer then continued saying over and over again why is she wearing a wedding ring in the picture? My wife tried to answer, but her voice was so weak. She tried to tell her that she was the one wearing the rings in the picture and not her friend. Her friend who was previously getting married was not in that particular picture but the one before.

I answered and told Officer, “If her friends are wearing or not wearing rings this has nothing to do with our marriage.” Our marriage is a normal legitimate marriage we have plenty enough pictures all ranging from different seasons to different places we went and with different members of our family and friends. I grabbed my wife hands. I needed to let her know that I was there and I was at her side. This was not how we should be treated. I was feeling fear and I felt like crying and I constantly told myself (in my head, in the interview) that I cannot live without my wife in my life. This lady was clearly discriminating against my wife for her race and me for my disability. Officer did not want us to be together.

Then out of all my paperwork she grabs two pictures with another white male and black female couple, which wasn’t even us, but rather our friends. The lawyer suggested that in the future whenever someone has an interview and it becomes like ours that the Us citizen spouse immediately stop the interview and ask to call his or her lawyer. Do not leave the office without asking to speak to the district officer to file a complaint. Just some useful advice. Now we have to wait for a new interview. I guess they would probably visit our home, or jobs. This we would welcome.Its just so heart wrecking that when you have a legitimate marriage you have to face this #######.

My lawyer says this is not a normal interview. This officer has no right to discriminate against anyone. Discrimination is not a tactic used by the USCIS. You should never be judged or discriminated by anyone in public office. This law makes it illegal to discriminate against someone on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, disability or sex

This is just a summary of the interview. My wife was called a bad mother because her kids were in Trinidad. When I explained that we have her son here living with us, and that we are adjusting his status she went on to say why one son? Why do your parents have to take care of her and her son? The entire interview was demeaning and no one should be treated like this

OMG! I am so sorry about such negative experience. Wasn't your lawyer in the office with you? You should've stopped the interview immediately took her name and reported her. This is just horrible. I pray everything works out for you.

[JayNarl 3]

We did not think we needed a lawyer at the time. But after the interview my husband immediately called his friends and family and we got a lawyer. She was very quick on drawing up a motion requesting a second interview. There is a field officer adjudicators handbook on the USCIS website that says how to handle people with disabilities. This officer clearly went against all of the rules.

OMG! I am so sorry about such negative experience. Wasn't your lawyer in the office with you? You should've stopped the interview immediately took her name and reported her. This is just horrible. I pray everything works out for you.

[katie1990 23]

WOW is all i could say! I really am so sorry you had to go through this. You shouldve stood up to her the more we let officers like that illegaly belittle us the more they will do it! Now im even more nervous for my upcoming interview! (SIGH)

[JayNarl 3]

WOW is all i could say! I really am so sorry you had to go through this. You should've stood up to her the more we let officers like that illegal belittle us the more they will do it! Now i'm even more nervous for my upcoming interview! (SIGH)

'

Thank you Katie. Just pray with your husband before you leave your home. Pray again before walking into the building. My husband and I took things too lightly. We believed that all would be fine. We've been married for 8 months now and spend awakening moment with each other. That was our mistake.

[velrich 50]

I have heard before that interviews can really be difficult. This really took it to the worst level.

Hope your lawyer makes the right moves to get you through this. Sigh:

[Timon 26]

We did not think we needed a lawyer at the time. But after the interview my husband immediately called his friends and family and we got a lawyer. She was very quick on drawing up a motion requesting a second interview. There is a field officer adjudicators handbook on the USCIS website that says how to handle people with disabilities. This officer clearly went against all of the rules.

That's very troubling. I still can't believe that she treated you guys like this. Did you at least get her name or ID number?

[JayNarl 3]

That's very troubling. I still can't believe that she treated you guys like this. Did you at least get her name or ID number?

Yes we got her information. She had her name and Id number on the letter she threw across the table to us. Notice of continuance, further review.

[JayNarl 3]

I have heard before that interviews can really be difficult. This really took it to the worst level.

Hope your lawyer makes the right moves to get you through this. Sigh:

I am still crying every night as I play the entire interview over in my head. What did we do wrong? No one deserves this treatment. My husband has slumped into a deep depression and I had to take him into the emergency room on Thursday evening. He has been crying ever since. I was forced to take control of the situation and admit him into an outpatient clinic. The doctors have signed his leave of absence from work and school. What hurts is that he was doing so well controlling the depression. Why should this one woman have power to torment innocent people?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

OP - I am sorry you had a bad interview. But, it is not because the officer didn't want you to be together, or had a problem with mixed race couples or disabled people. They see that every day.

Clearly the officer thought that your file indicated fraud. I am not sure why the first post says "my wife" and the second says "my husband." Did you guys both write here? I can't really gather the details of your case from the post because it is confusing. Can you tell us who Laura is?

From what I can gather, male USC, 29 years old, disabled. Female immigrant, from T&T. How old are you? How did you come to the US? You have kids? Their ages and where are they?

I ask this to try to get at the facts of your interview, to see it from their prospective, and see if anyone can offer some help.

[nekyo 3]

WOW is all i could say! I really am so sorry you had to go through this. You shouldve stood up to her the more we let officers like that illegaly belittle us the more they will do it! Now im even more nervous for my upcoming interview! (SIGH)

Seriously! I have mine in about 2 days and this isn't something i would like to experience at all, however now i will make sure our lawyer is present. @OP Thank you for posting your story, I'm sure it will help others. I'm sorry this had to happened to you, I hope everything works out.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

OP - I am sorry you had a bad interview. But, it is not because the officer didn't want you to be together, or had a problem with mixed race couples or disabled people. They see that every day.

Clearly the officer thought that your file indicated fraud. I am not sure why the first post says "my wife" and the second says "my husband." Did you guys both write here? I can't really gather the details of your case from the post because it is confusing. Can you tell us who Laura is?

From what I can gather, male USC, 29 years old, disabled. Female immigrant, from T&T. How old are you? How did you come to the US? You have kids? Their ages and where are they?

I ask this to try to get at the facts of your interview, to see it from their prospective, and see if anyone can offer some help.

Ditto. I don't see anything really discriminatory. She may have been rude but she's allowed to be if she thinks there's fraud. Sounds like, by her having these pictures, that there's some red flag in your file. Why did your wife not answer any questions? I'm sure she was upset but I'm curious why she said nothing. That sounds suspicious in itself. Most people would get indignant, or stammer something out, or... something.

[JayNarl 3]

OP - I am sorry you had a bad interview. But, it is not because the officer didn't want you to be together, or had a problem with mixed race couples or disabled people. They see that every day.

Clearly the officer thought that your file indicated fraud. I am not sure why the first post says "my wife" and the second says "my husband." Did you guys both write here? I can't really gather the details of your case from the post because it is confusing. Can you tell us who Laura is?

From what I can gather, male USC, 29 years old, disabled. Female immigrant, from T&T. How old are you? How did you come to the US? You have kids? Their ages and where are they?

I ask this to try to get at the facts of your interview, to see it from their prospective, and see if anyone can offer some help.

Yes my husband and I both write here. My husband has suffered mental depression for years. He is 29 and has controlled his depression with medicine and therapy. He lives a perfectly normal life. My husband has his bachelors in Bio chemistry and also a certificate in paralegal studies he studied on the side. I just turned 35 in late Aug. I also have an educated background including published books and articles about endangered animals in the Caribbean. I came here 2 years ago on a b2 visa and overstayed. We met last Nov and married in Jan. One of my son lives with me and the other live with his dad.

My husbands parents own a realty company and we live in one of the houses. We do not live here for free but contribute to bills and such. Were just getting on our feet as my hubby is still in school and works on a part time basis. Laura is a friend I met at church and John is her husband. We did not have enough income for the 864 so my friend Laura signed the 864 for us. But the officer was calling her maiden name and we knew only her married name. That's why we hesitated and asked if she mean Laura*****.

I know the officer was doing her job but in their policy its written on how to treat persons with a disability.

This is in the Field Adjudicators handbook. You can find it on the USCIS website

A. Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 (29 U.S.C. § 794) requires all executive agencies, including the USCIS , to provide reasonable accommodations for applicants with mental, physical, and/or developmental disabilities. You should show the utmost sensitivity, courtesy, and respect when adjudicating cases in which the applicant requests an accommodation.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Did he request an accommodation? That is about wheelchair access, patience with problems speaking or memory problems etc. It doesn't mean they can't try to root out fraud.

How old are your children? You did meet and marry quickly - within 2 months?

Some scams involve preying on people who are desperate, like someone on permanent disability. It is your job to prove why you chose him above all people.

His disability is depression?

[JayNarl 3]

Ditto. I don't see anything really discriminatory. She may have been rude but she's allowed to be if she thinks there's fraud. Sounds like, by her having these pictures, that there's some red flag in your file. Why did your wife not answer any questions? I'm sure she was upset but I'm curious why she said nothing. That sounds suspicious in itself. Most people would get indignant, or stammer something out, or... something.

My husband and I both write on here. I did answer her questions. This is just a summary of our interview. She asked a bunch of questions in succession and did not give me a chance to answer. When did you come here? How did you meet your husband? Where are your kids? Why did you leave them with the dad? Why are you lying? What did you do for two years? She went on and on and every time I tried to answer she besieged me with further questions. Then she came back to the first question and she continued like this? Why? I know they are trained to use intimidation tactics but what did we do wrong? I could only think that because we hesitated when she asked who Laura was that sent some trigger to her. But again I know my friend by only her married name not her maiden name.