We're different people than we were before marriage...

[BlueBonnet 84]

The OP mentioned that they have a 6 month old baby .... are you aware that her hormones are still out of balance. It takes about a year before all that is back in check, so please stop complaining about her actions, and just try to be more patient and understanding of what she is going through.

[nane1104 146]

I dunno if that would be the solution. I have a baby too and suffered, still suffer from postpartum depression and anxiety, hormones all out of whack and I can assure you, I never threw dishes around the house. That is a whole new level and I'd file that under anger or lack of anger management rather than crazy hormones.

[JoannaV 173]

Find some kind of in-person counselling. I don't think you need someone who specializes in immigrants. Or even anger management. But a good marriage counsellor would be great. Does your wife have any kind of support system over here? Any friends? I don't think this is impossible to work out, but it's going to be hard for a while until it gets better.

[sms78 18]

sorry for what you're going through. I think she needs an anger management class of some sort rather than a couple therapy.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

The OP mentioned that they have a 6 month old baby .... are you aware that her hormones are still out of balance. It takes about a year before all that is back in check, so please stop complaining about her actions, and just try to be more patient and understanding of what she is going through.

Amazing, just amazing.

[rika60607 215]

I tried marriage counseling twice, with terrible results, so this is a waste of time and money, IMO.

Having been in "her" shoes, I have to ask - does she get enough sleep? Is there a baby sitter/ relatives relieving her of baby duties every week? Does she do the housework too? Is she still breastfeeding? If she does not get enough sleep and has to take care of the baby full time + take care of the house, then she does not need anger management. She needs a nanny and some time for herself + time to recover her emotional balance. Until then, yeah, you better cope with her short fuse.

Are you afraid of your wife? If yes, then you may have abuse situation on your hands.

[Caryh 5,206]

Amazing, just amazing.

If it was reversed you'd be seeing "thats abuse divorce him" all over the place. A woman goes ballistic, yelling, throwing and breaking objects aimed and a man and the man is supposed to be more understanding.

She had a baby so its ok for her to abuse him.

She has her period, so its ok for her to abuse him.

He's bigger than her, so its ok for her to abuse him.

She's a woman and men abused women for centuries, so its ok to abuse men. Actually that was my ex wife's opinion and she stated it more than once.

I'm actually all for doing everything you can to save a marriage, but abuse giving excuses for and ignored cannot be solved.

[Tanya and Barry 59]

If it was reversed you'd be seeing "thats abuse divorce him" all over the place. A woman goes ballistic, yelling, throwing and breaking objects aimed and a man and the man is supposed to be more understanding.

She had a baby so its ok for her to abuse him.

She has her period, so its ok for her to abuse him.

He's bigger than her, so its ok for her to abuse him.

She's a woman and men abused women for centuries, so its ok to abuse men. Actually that was my ex wife's opinion and she stated it more than once.

I'm actually all for doing everything you can to save a marriage, but abuse giving excuses for and ignored cannot be solved.

It sucks to be a man...

Good luck OP. You have to do what's best for you. Good luck.

[Operator 1,925]

So I'm kind of wondering whether there are family and marriage counselors that deal specifically with the issues facing immigrants and their families, or anger-management classes for immigrants...

Do you think the issues stem from cultural differences? The reason I ask is that an immigrant from Laos would have completely different cultural differences from one say from Ireland. How different is her country from the US? My point is maybe she doesn't need to be counseled as an immigrant but rather just an un-happy wife.

Good luck and congrats on the baby! Hope you two sort it out quickly.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

If it was reversed you'd be seeing "thats abuse divorce him" all over the place. A woman goes ballistic, yelling, throwing and breaking objects aimed and a man and the man is supposed to be more understanding.

She had a baby so its ok for her to abuse him.

She has her period, so its ok for her to abuse him.

He's bigger than her, so its ok for her to abuse him.

She's a woman and men abused women for centuries, so its ok to abuse men. Actually that was my ex wife's opinion and she stated it more than once.

I'm actually all for doing everything you can to save a marriage, but abuse giving excuses for and ignored cannot be solved.

It sucks to be a man...

Good luck OP. You have to do what's best for you. Good luck.

Aaw come on Guys, she's just a "spoilt brat", you Guys just need to turn the other cheek. Think of the children will you.

[Karee 4,189]

If it was reversed you'd be seeing "thats abuse divorce him" all over the place. A woman goes ballistic, yelling, throwing and breaking objects aimed and a man and the man is supposed to be more understanding.

She had a baby so its ok for her to abuse him.

She has her period, so its ok for her to abuse him.

He's bigger than her, so its ok for her to abuse him.

She's a woman and men abused women for centuries, so its ok to abuse men. Actually that was my ex wife's opinion and she stated it more than once.

I'm actually all for doing everything you can to save a marriage, but abuse giving excuses for and ignored cannot be solved.

Actually he's gender blind when it comes to his idiotic statements. I've seen him go both ways with it.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Actually he's gender blind when it comes to his idiotic statements. I've seen him go both ways with it.

"Gender: Female"

[Confused 2 94]

Could it be post-partum depression + stress of immigration etc? Lot more women suffer from post-partum depression than people think and a lot of times it just goes un-noticed and untreated. Maybe talk to her dr. Symptoms of PPD are -

Agitation or irritability

Changes in appetite

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt

Feeling withdrawn or unconnected

Lack of pleasure or interest in most or all activities

Loss of concentration

Loss of energy

Problems doing tasks at home or work

Negative feelings toward the baby

Significant anxiety

Thoughts of death or suicide

Trouble sleeping

A mother with postpartum depression may also:

Be unable to care for herself or her baby

Be afraid to be alone with her baby

Have negative feelings toward the baby or even think about harming the baby (Although these feelings are scary, they are almost never acted on. Still you should tell your doctor about them right away)

Worry intensely about the baby, or have little interest in the baby

Link!!

[Xanax 349]

If I were you I would firstly try to have a frank and honest conversation with your wife.

Ask her what she wants, why she is unhappy, does she want to continue with the relationship? If so; what could you improve on, what does she think she could do differently, what could you both work on?

If you cannot do this, if it is too hard to talk to her at this point look into counselling. Generally you can get counselling from an intern for quite cheap. We did some pre-martial counselling with an intern who just finished her degree and we got it for 1/3 the normal fee.

[Que Saudade 284]

So I'm kind of wondering whether there are family and marriage counselors that deal specifically with the issues facing immigrants and their families, or anger-management classes for immigrants...

To answer your question. YES there are counselors for this. The sooner the better. 10 miles into the woods, 10 miles out of the woods.

Just a little searching in your area and a few phone calls and you will find the right person.

Good luck

Edited July 24, 2012 by Que Saudade