Should I give up or fight for him?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Bye. 7 months here and "he has not been happy for a while"?

Sorry, but this is over.

[Army wife 9]

Glad you got a chuckel out of that

My job here is done, my work has spread far from VJ and passed via email to coworkers far and wide

Good to know you are done talking!

[Saylin 1,605]

So you see how your own ideals are being compromised. You should be with someone that assures you, that makes you feel comfortable, honors you, brings out the best in you, etc, etc You shouldn't be with someone that causes you to violate your ideals so this is another point for the giving up section.

It's not about him or her, it's about you.

You're so right....

[cathy2904 97]

So sad to read about this Saylin; your clear-headed knowledge and wisdom has been invaluable to so many on here, me included. Though it may not feel like it now, in time the pain will pass and you will become a stronger person for the experience.

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

Good to know you are done talking!

Actually, I wasn't "talking"

May I interest you in researching out the "ignore user function"?

[Army wife 9]

Sorry I've been gone for an hour... My husband finally got home. And despite being nervous and spending most of the conversation in silence, we spoke.

I brought up seeing the comment last week. I asked what was going on. At first, he denied anything. He said it was her just being silly and when I asked why he didn't tab back to Facebook after, he said he thought I'd take it the wrong way. I finally told him I saw his messages with her and knew he was lying. I don't remember much, still very shaken up. He tried skirting around saying he didn't like her and he had only visited her once or twice. Not sure.... The conversation ended with me asking him if he wanted a divorce or not. At the end, he said it would be in both our best interests.... Guess I'm getting divorced then....

:crying: :crying: :crying:

soooo sorry............

[Saylin 1,605]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice. I truly appreciate it and a lot of your responses were running through my head as we were talking...

My world is crashing, the tears have been non-stop, and although my heart doesn't know it yet, my brain keeps saying it's for the best....

[Neela & Jitu 79]

Saylin im so sorry for you.I never thought you have to go through this. But this is what i think...

My EX bf did the same thing with me when i move to Canada.He hooked up with girls in face book so i added those girl's friend and ask them their numbers. I talked to the girls nicely and explain that she she shouldn't be with him as i won't let this happen.Why they are wasting their time where they can find so much better!

Now i move on and finally find my true soulmate.He had past too but who cares he is my pair.

SO right now i think You should fight for him.He doesn't love you thats another thing but don't loose him for that 3rd class girl who has intention in married man and wants to ruin another girl's life.Listen they didn't meet yet.Cut the root right now before thier feelings grows stronger than you can't do anything.I will say get the girl's adress/number and talk to her/meet her.Tell her you might be soft but when it comes for your husband,you won't be soft anymore.You scare her by saying that you will sue her or something like that.I would also suggest don't go to Canada and stay with him.DOn't give too much time to vj or to anything when he is home.Stick to him for few days."Out of sight is out of mind",if you go to Canada they will have chance.

After that if your relationship doesn't work than you can atleast have peace of mind that you tried from your sight as best as you can to hold him.After that you won't regret that you didn't try and move on.

My best wishes to you!!!!

[peter.chou 3]

sort through, well prepared for an open talk?

[NeedHelp_Fraud 0]

Hi Saylin,

I feel so bad this is happening to you.

I'm going through a divorce as well, due to lies/betrayal; Not the same situation as yours but wanted to give some incite incase it help:

- Be strong. The time after divorce is the toughest with all of the mix emotions.

- Make sure you "convince" your self that this is the only way. You will have lots of mix feelings so you need to make sure you understand this is the correct thing. I had lots of times where i thought "may i should just stick thorough and it'll work out", "I think i made the wrong choice", "i miss him/her too much i need to go back".

- After you have made your decision, move out and try not talking to him. It'll only make you feel bad, emotionally.

[Saylin 1,605]

Saylin im so sorry for you.I never thought you have to go through this. But this is what i think...

My EX bf did the same thing with me when i move to Canada.He hooked up with girls in face book so i added those girl's friend and ask them their numbers. I talked to the girls nicely and explain that she she shouldn't be with him as i won't let this happen.Why they are wasting their time where they can find so much better!

Now i move on and finally find my true soulmate.He had past too but who cares he is my pair.

SO right now i think You should fight for him.He doesn't love you thats another thing but don't loose him for that 3rd class girl who has intention in married man and wants to ruin another girl's life.Listen they didn't meet yet.Cut the root right now before thier feelings grows stronger than you can't do anything.I will say get the girl's adress/number and talk to her/meet her.Tell her you might be soft but when it comes for your husband,you won't be soft anymore.You scare her by saying that you will sue her or something like that.I would also suggest don't go to Canada and stay with him.DOn't give too much time to vj or to anything when he is home.Stick to him for few days."Out of sight is out of mind",if you go to Canada they will have chance.

After that if your relationship doesn't work than you can atleast have peace of mind that you tried from your sight as best as you can to hold him.After that you won't regret that you didn't try and move on.

My best wishes to you!!!!

Thanks Neela for your kind words

But I can't really do what you suggested at this point: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/366975-should-i-give-up-or-fight-for-him/page__view__findpost__p__5362905

[VanessaTony 3,567]

The WoW thing is probably gonna be tough for us after we're separated as we're in the same guild and raid together. So I'll still be in constant contact with him (whether I want it or not). I know there's the choice of one of us leaving, but I don't think that will happen...

Who's the better raider? You or him? I think he and the chick should be booted from the guild.. if they're willing to cheat on a fellow guildie with another fellow guildie they're bad for the guild and who knows who else they'd mess around with. Of course knowing guild politics like I do it's not really that simple.

I agree with what someone else said as well... I would make sure the girl knows you know. I would make sure the GUILD knows you know. Just tell one of your other closer friends "Can you believe XX cheated on YY with ZZ?". ugh. People suck. I certainly don't think he should be allowed to get out of this well.

So, for the I-864, I have a question. I make less than $8/hour at my current job, with about 20 hours of work a week (I'm a full-time college student). There's no way I'll be able to afford an apartment on my own. Is there any legal obligation of my husband to pay like a portion of the rent or something? Cause I have absolutely no idea how I'm gonna manage an apartment on my own while receiving only about $400 a month from work...

At the end of our conversation, he said he'd still give me lifts to work and school and such. Which I believe. Just not sure if he'd help out with my rent or anything once I do move out...

Nope sorry. He doesn't have to pay you anything. Either for your rent or anything. My SIL had to take out student loans to support herself while she was studying (she didn't work AT ALL) so you might have to do that. I'd look into it.

I'd seriously consider the vehicle via divorce thing though. I'm not sure I'd WANT him driving me around. I'm glad he finally admitted it even though you had to tell him you KNEW... shows a little bit of shame about it. I'd talk to him about getting you a car. Don't care if he needs to take out a personal loan (not a car loan because then if he stops paying they take the car) but he should at least do THAT for you.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can only imagine

[Trojans Fan 7]

You might want to check with a lawyer as to the Alimony support that he might have to pay. I have no idea what the rules are on that.

WoW is a place that allows you to forget the real world for a while but not when your soon to be ex is in your guild. You need to transfer your toons to a new realm and find a new guild. No exceptions.

[Sollua 0]

Girl, your desire to not just jump ship and really fight for him is so admirable it makes my heart ache. I will pray for you so much. I am so sorry men can be douche bags. So so sorry.

Girl, your desire to not just jump ship and really fight for him is so admirable it makes my heart ache. I will pray for you so much. I am so sorry men can be douche bags. So so sorry.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You might want to check with a lawyer as to the Alimony support that he might have to pay. I have no idea what the rules are on that.

WoW is a place that allows you to forget the real world for a while but not when your soon to be ex is in your guild. You need to transfer your toons to a new realm and find a new guild. No exceptions.

I wish it were as simple as just changing realms. I personally have many RL friends on my server(realm) as well as in my guild. Changing servers will mean she not only separates from her husband, but also potentially friends which is what she will really need at this time. Which is why I vote for kicking him and the mistress out of the guild instead (unlikely to be her call but maybe the GM's like her more ) ... OR changing guilds and having her friends go with her

Edited May 8, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony