Older American WOmen

[Kengux 3]

I may wish to ask that during ur marriage to ur husband, how many people were present at the wedding? and do u have pictures of your husband's family members surrounding you and being happy....meaning, smiling and holding hands or hugging you?

Pictures are one of the true ways of knowing if a relationship is real or not based on the reactions of people at the wedding venue..

So, pls lets know how much evidence you submitted on photo images of other people around you.

Did you two travel to your husband's village? Do u have pictures with any of his family's older men or women? These are very important clues to the CO determining your case for either approved or denied.

You still have an option to request for a 2nd interview, get your congressmen involved before the case is sent back to NVC for possible revocation.. Best of luck in your next decisions.

[TimeTravel 78]

tHERE WAS NEVER ANY MENTION MADE OF LACK OF PROOF EVERYTHING ASKED FOR WAS OFFERED ,WHAT WAS SAID WAS BECAUSE I WAS A OLDER WOMAN IT WAS A FRAUD MARRIAGE.

i AM NOT CONFUSED i KNOW WHAT WAS SAID TO MY AFRICAN MALE SPOUSE WHO IS OVER 30 BTW ,WHY WOULD YOU WANT A WOMAN OVER 20 YEARS OLDER THEN YOU ? IT MUST BE A FRAUD MARRIAGE

What he answered for CO question? Did you guys spend alot of time living together as husband & wife?

[NY_BX 397]

Correct. See... http://cambodia.usembassy.gov/getting_married_in_cambodia.html

New Marriage Requirements

According to new marriage requirements issued on by the Government of Cambodia on March 7, 2011, male U.S. citizens wishing to marry Cambodian women must:

• Be under 50 years of age, and
• Have a monthly income of at least US $2,500

Interesting! WOW!

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Most people are aware of romance scams , where foreigners pretend to be wealthy and relatively good looking US/UK citizens that have misfortunes befall them. Some of the victims become so lost in the scam when they are told that the prepetator wants to confess because they have fallen in love they turely believe this. They will travel to the foreign country, they will marry their scammer and return to the US to file for them. I personally know people that have gone this route. The US/UK person is truely blindly in love. They will swear that the relationship is real, that this person has repented for love. Luckily the Embassies are a bit smarter and denied at interview ( at least the cases I know ) . Unfortunately it sets a level of assumption that must be overcome. The fact that most scammers are young men and most victims are older woman , the profile that raises the flag is the same. These people come to the US , run away from their older partner at the first chance. They then set up helping their former partners continue there prior line of work. They recently arrested someone locally that was doing just that. It is not only a younger man ,older woman thing. One of my brother in laws was telling how the neighbor girl set up a profile on face book and hooked a 50+ US male and is waiting for her interview to get to the US. Plans are apparently already in motion for her to run to a relative's home as soon as she can. Hopefully the embassy is smart enough to catch that one also.

[Kengux 3]

Another thing is what happened during the interview with the CO. Your husband's looks and emotional situations at the interview may make or mar the outcome of the interview. For instance, the CO will want your husband's full concentrations and expects him to give answers while looking at him in the face... e.g, the CO may say to himself that, 'he,(your husband) is overwhelmed at the age gap when the CO asked how your husband feels about the age gap..' if your husband feels too emotional or overwhelmed at that question, then the CO already knows whether to approve or deny the result...

Let me quickly add that, the pictures you submitted have very significant advantage/effect to your case if they include many of your husband's relative, both old and young .. Do you have any pictures of them with you before your marriage and also after your marriage? I want to believe the two of you did not get married during your first meeting together because its really going to raise a huge red flag in your case and with Lagos consulate....? Hmmm..

And most importantly, what's the relationship of your children with your husband? Do they like him and want him for you? Because your husband is going to become their stepdad.. Do you have evidence of your husband and your children communicating? I mean, any evidence that shows that your relationship and age gap is nothing to your situation... Watch this! How old are your children? The CO may wonder and say to himself again...' how can he(your husband) be a stepdad to a 30yr old man or woman, in this case your children and the husband himself is abt 30yrs old...? These are situations the CO considers in determining each cases..

So, i'll encourage you to get as many evidence as possible such that shows your husband family, brothers or sisters wanting to be with you. You need to visit him again and ensure they have pictures with you, because these pictures speaks volume in that, it'll will show whether they like you for him or not. They wont want to be with you if they're not comfortable with the age gap and in Nigeria, its not in the culture for this to happen. By the way, what's your husband's tribe? Yoruba,Ibo or Hausa. If Yoruba or Ibo, you really need a significant evidence to overcome this barrier, because a Yoruba or especially an Ibo woman or man will want their children to have grandchildren for them. Ibo people and some Yoruba people are much particular abt this... Lastly, i need you to tell us how many times you visited him before you got married to him otherwise the case has a huge red flag with Lagos consulate. Other country consulates might be different in this scenario.. I will keep you in my prayers.. Smile and happy christmas..

[NY_BX 397]

I've read the thread and everything has been said, pretty much. The OP has misdirected anger, period. I somewhat agree there is discrimination, but the denial wasn't because of age or gender. Afterall, she's a woman and a MAN is attempting to come over and consumate the marriage. The issue is simple: is this outside of cultural norms? If it is, how will HE overcome this? HE was the one interviewed and he failed. Bottom line, that's what happened.

I am 7 years older than my fiancee. I knew in Egypt this may raise a red flag or may not. So, to decrease the chances of false accusations, I attended the interview with him. We were approved on the spot. Granted, I am 36, never married, no kids so that decreases the chances if suspicion, but still.

To the OP: if you would've done extensive research, you would've found out about Nigeria being high fraud (if not the highest fraud in the world) and about the age/ gender bias. Had you discovered this "discriminatory practice," you would've prepared your husband to nail the interview, or if permitted, you would've attended the interview. I am not justifying the CO's behavior whatsoever. I agree that some of them are unprofessional and, by the way, USCIS is self-sustained with all the fees we must pay (little of the tax payer dollars go into this). When I went to Egypt's embassy I have to say, people accompanied by their USC counterparts were treated a lot better than those without. I have a tough job, but I'd never do their jobs! They were dry and making people cry, etc. So, put yourself in their shoes for one moment and look at your case with fresh- consular- eyes. Imagine you're sitting behind that window and a 30 year old comes over and says he wants to migrate to be with his wife that could also double as his mom. How does that look? It is very hard to take and somewhat unbelievable. Then it is your responsibility to prepare him and convince the CO that you're genuine about your relationship. A marriage certificate is not enough. Yes, it is subjective and discriminatory. But frankly as an American woman, I rather you'd be mad now for him being denied, than you becoming part of the statistic. And what's the statistic? these men end up divorcing, or worse, abandoning the older wife and starting over with their 'real wife': a younger- child bearing lady. Do a search in this website and you'll find a handful of those stories. That's what's happening in Nigeria, Egypt, Morocco.... most MENA countries. It is basic human-traficking behavior, except for the USC ends up traficking them while being a victim of fraud. Please understand I am NOT saying he will do this to you. I am saying this is what the CO has in his/ her mind because you are the trend... not the exception.

[Kengux 3]

I must tell you, no amount of evidences you submitted will overcome the genuineness of your marriage and immigration intent of your husband except the many pictures they want to see. So give them what they need..Show them pictures of your husband's relatives, i mean many of them, and the CO wants many of them to be at the wedding because culturally in Nigeria, many people tends to be at a wedding even if they're not invited.

Trust me, work on this side of the case to enable you overcome the age gap clause and the thinking any CO may have about your case and you'll be approved. I'll be praying for you and pls do pray too.

[pushbrk 12,234]

I must tell you, no amount of evidences you submitted will overcome the genuineness of your marriage and immigration intent of your husband except the many pictures they want to see. So give them what they need..Show them pictures of your husband's relatives, i mean many of them, and the CO wants many of them to be at the wedding because culturally in Nigeria, many people tends to be at a wedding even if they're not invited.

Trust me, work on this side of the case to enable you overcome the age gap clause and the thinking any CO may have about your case and you'll be approved. I'll be praying for you and pls do pray too.

Pictures are nice and they ARE helpful but only couples who spend significant time together as husband and wife will be able to accumulate this kind of evidence. First, spend the time together conducting a genuine marital relationship.

The OP joined the sight this Tuesday, AFTER the visa was denied. Clearly, lack of knowledge and preparation were major contributors to the result.

[himher 634]

YOU dont get a grade at all in the interview. Your husband does. He got an F for marrying outside of cultural norms and being unable to adequately convince the officer that it was his love and devotion to you rather than his immigration path (benefit) that made him step outside of those cultural norms. He has to overcome that and it has nothing to do with your age LOL.

It might be good to ask yourself why? Sure YOU can prove your legitimate intentions but he failed to. He has to and your intentions don't count.

Might be better to be mad at him. IO's just doing a job

Are you a white Americian or African American ? Just asking . I am looking through the eyes of the Interviewing Officer. I see some ''red flags '' . Just saying .....really it makes a differance if i am a white american woman or a black american woman???

I did I got a F for being 50 and female

Edited December 23, 2011 by himher

[Robby999 1,024]

Heartbreak Hotel — Americans Duped into Marriages

Classic marriage fraud cases involve two people conspiring to bring an immigrant to the United States based on a phony marriage, but for every case where there are two conspirators there is at least one where the American believes the marriage is based on mutual affection and love while the foreigner only wants to obtain a green card. Consular officers, particularly in developing countries where residents are desperate to “get out of Dodge,” frequently interview cross-cultural couples who appear to be grossly mismatched, but cannot deny the petitions of Americans who do not know that they are being used for a visa, which makes this type of one-sided marriage fraud nearly impossible to stop.

Middle-aged American men are the most common victims, though younger people and women fall victim as well. One American woman who fell victim to a sham marriage — Elena Maria Lopez — founded the website http://www.immigrationfraud.com/ in order to help other Americans in the same situation and many other American victims have webpages and blogs warning Americans about marriage fraud.⁹

The clichéd case involves Americans who for whatever reason —recently divorced, mid-life crisis, etc. — move to or travel to a developing country and soon find that they are able to date members of the opposite sex who wouldn’t give them the time of day in the United States. Americans with no previous travel experience who are sent overseas as contractors, soldiers, and laborers are particularly susceptible to being duped into marriage. When Americans overseas feel desirable, perhaps for the first time in their entire lives, many fail to see that poverty and desperation is what makes them popular.

Sometimes consular officers interview wide-eyed, love-stricken Americans who have no idea that the person they have just married or are about to marry has a track record of visa denials, fraud, or immigration violations and consular officers often have to decide how much information to divulge to the American about their spouses’ immigration track records.

[NY_BX 397]

Heartbreak Hotel — Americans Duped into Marriages

Classic marriage fraud cases involve two people conspiring to bring an immigrant to the United States based on a phony marriage, but for every case where there are two conspirators there is at least one where the American believes the marriage is based on mutual affection and love while the foreigner only wants to obtain a green card. Consular officers, particularly in developing countries where residents are desperate to “get out of Dodge,” frequently interview cross-cultural couples who appear to be grossly mismatched, but cannot deny the petitions of Americans who do not know that they are being used for a visa, which makes this type of one-sided marriage fraud nearly impossible to stop.

Middle-aged American men are the most common victims, though younger people and women fall victim as well. One American woman who fell victim to a sham marriage — Elena Maria Lopez — founded the website http://www.immigrationfraud.com/ in order to help other Americans in the same situation and many other American victims have webpages and blogs warning Americans about marriage fraud.⁹

The clichéd case involves Americans who for whatever reason —recently divorced, mid-life crisis, etc. — move to or travel to a developing country and soon find that they are able to date members of the opposite sex who wouldn’t give them the time of day in the United States. Americans with no previous travel experience who are sent overseas as contractors, soldiers, and laborers are particularly susceptible to being duped into marriage. When Americans overseas feel desirable, perhaps for the first time in their entire lives, many fail to see that poverty and desperation is what makes them popular.

Sometimes consular officers interview wide-eyed, love-stricken Americans who have no idea that the person they have just married or are about to marry has a track record of visa denials, fraud, or immigration violations and consular officers often have to decide how much information to divulge to the American about their spouses’ immigration track records.

Excellent. Is this an article?

[oscar12 23]

Your case might be different but i look at that Lagos Consulate base there decision on certains things....

If your American wife was to be a Nigerian and live in Nigeria,And it happens that she is older than you like say 7 to 10 years,Would you have sincerely married her for good.....Which in Nigeria,I am sure than %95 of people out there wont settle for such marriage but if the other way round,maybe the guy is older with 7 to 10 years,Is okay and very acceptable becouse in Nigeria we always see it that the man is suppose to be older so as to have the wife respect him at all times but Here in America,age is nothing but just number...For the short period i have been here...i have seen woman of like 45 years old marry a guy of 25 and they live happily and enjoy there lives as they day goes by......

So,Most tmes,Lagos Consulate base there decision on the Nigerian way of living which i think is most likely to be the trutful outcome of most cases.......But am still not against woman been older becouse my wife was even older than me with 2 years and to us,it was nothing and when i had my interview...I was approved within 2 mins of asking me how we met and how i propose to my wife....Moreso,My wife was from a Nigerian parents but was born and raise here.....so i guess most cases are different....

Secondly,Lagos Consulate can also approve visa in grounds that assuming that the petitioner been the older american woman has never been married and has no child ever in her life before been with you and filling for your case,Even if there is 15 years age difference,Is always given some considerations and most times,the approval is always on the go becouse she was never married before and dont have kids and of good age of getting married and raising a family....Thats a clean case and is always approved....i said this becouse i know one 27 years older Nigerian guy that was approved of k-1 visa in 2009,when the wife was 48....which is more than 12 years differnce but both were approved becouse they had a clean case and they lady visited him like 4 times piror to there interview in Nigeria....They were approved and both are still living together till date....So i see it that each case is view differently and they sometimes try to assume if both were to be Nigerians and living in Nigeria,Would they both have ever think of getting married.....

Thats how i see it ...All i said is just kind of thoughs and things i have i have seen happen,i could be wrong but i hope this helps.....Have other Nigerians that deals with Lagos Consulate advice you more rather than basing your decisions on just your own personal experience......

[cgayle 1]

How nice to know in That in a American embassy The pratice of the C.O. is to keep alive sex and age Discrimination towards american women ...gezz its so nice to know thats where my tax dollar goes.Any other reason I could have swallowed but as a proffesional woman I find it disgusting that its still practiced.AND well heck what if I was barren at 20? hmmm

well you know WOMEN if your AMERICAN and over 30 (except if your unable to bare children )you better get a laywer to do your K3 .But if your a man ..hey no worries the AMERICAN goverment doesnt view as a problem.

Thank -you for all your nice replies and excuse the anger as you notice not one mention was made regarding lack of proof

seawash

You are absolutely right about what your saying. I am 27 years older than my husband. That is why we married and filed CR1 instead of filing the K-1. We knew the age thing would send up a red flag. I am awaiting the NOIR letter that I'm sure we are going to get. I am totally prepared, I have an tremendous amount of effidence to verify our relationship is bonafide. I even quit my job and went and lived with him for almost 2 months. I definately feel your pain, it is sooooo difficult being without your loved one. Hang in there and don't give up.

[TeapotGirl 66]

Correct. See... http://cambodia.usembassy.gov/getting_married_in_cambodia.html

New Marriage Requirements

According to new marriage requirements issued on by the Government of Cambodia on March 7, 2011, male U.S. citizens wishing to marry Cambodian women must:

• Be under 50 years of age, and
• Have a monthly income of at least US $2,500

Dang! Thank goodness I am not a Cambodian.

[ejaamensa 0]

Your quotes are from a site called she-comomy , hardly an unbiased site.

Many woman have married younger men in Nigeria and gotten approved. The bigger the differece the harder it is , because it is very important to the Nigerian culture that a man produces a son. More so for the oldest son , who inherits the wealth and the headaches of his father. The issue is to confront the problems. Nigeria also accounts for a huge portion of the DV lottery entries. To most of Nigeria coming to the US is the dream of their lives. They know the chances are small and there are a huge number that think nothing of a marriage to someone as old as their mother if it means getting that coveted green card. The embassy is trying to stop women from being used. If you didn't get it right this time around take a deep breath and do better next time. Having to file twice isn't that uncommon for Lagos

I love what I have been reading all along but I must add nigeria is where I know more fine am a ghanaian just that I live here I know families or friend that their kids are not after their parents family.. My wife is older than me but I want you to take it or leave it if you were in my shoe you will fall inlove with my wife she's really nice made me see that part of me I never really see αи∂ for the children we can adopt I just want to proof to the world that among many I am diffrent αи∂ I am really ready to live here in africa with my wife I just know if this is meant to be it will sure be thank you for suppoort VJ. I lool foward hear a good news america is a great nation αи∂ am sure I can make it anywhere in this AMEN.