help... Im depressed now..

[Lindzie 0]

Hi guys.. We supposed to have our interview on the 2nd of december but things went wrong.. We have been married for 4 mos.,.like all other marriages.. Ours is not perfect.. We fight.. Make up.. Argued on some matters.. If things will not come on his way like for example the sex he wants, he will threaten me to deport me, and put me in jail. Ignorance about the law, im scared to death everytime he yelled at me. We are living on his brother's family..He often screams and humilliate me that i am a user.. That im just here for greencard's sake.. Last week, i decided to go to my friend's house because im tired of his insecurities and false accusations.. Then he suddenly grabbed my hands and shout at the top of his lungs that i am a user.. And he will deport me.. I got shovked and scared i know he hits me but cant remember how because im too shocked.. I got bruises on my arms.. The last thing i know, i went to the police station.. Now i don't know what to do.. My question is can i still adjust my status with out him? I really dont know what to do..

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Hi guys.. We supposed to have our interview on the 2nd of december but things went wrong.. We have been married for 4 mos.,.like all other marriages.. Ours is not perfect.. We fight.. Make up.. Argued on some matters.. If things will not come on his way like for example the sex he wants, he will threaten me to deport me, and put me in jail. Ignorance about the law, im scared to death everytime he yelled at me. We are living on his brother's family..He often screams and humilliate me that i am a user.. That im just here for greencard's sake.. Last week, i decided to go to my friend's house because im tired of his insecurities and false accusations.. Then he suddenly grabbed my hands and shout at the top of his lungs that i am a user.. And he will deport me.. I got shovked and scared i know he hits me but cant remember how because im too shocked.. I got bruises on my arms.. The last thing i know, i went to the police station.. Now i don't know what to do.. My question is can i still adjust my status with out him? I really dont know what to do..

I'm sorry you're going through this but I do have a quick qn... why don't you go home? I know for 100% certainty if Tony and i didn't work i would have been on the first plane home, the GC just isn't that important to me because I didn't move here for that, I moved here for him.

**Edit - yes you can TRY for VAWA. You might not get approved though, it's not guaranteed.

Edited November 11, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[benuk 18]

I'm sorry you're going through this but I do have a quick qn... why don't you go home? I know for 100% certainty if Tony and i didn't work i would have been on the first plane home, the GC just isn't that important to me because I didn't move here for that, I moved here for him.

**Edit - yes you can TRY for VAWA. You might not get approved though, it's not guaranteed.

Agreed with Vanessa!! WHY YOU JUST DON'T GO HOME HAVE PRIDE AND PLUS IS NOT A GOOD START WITH ALL THIS ABUSE!! Still I'm very sorry for your situation and wish you all the best!!

[Army wife 9]

Agreed with Vanessa!! WHY YOU JUST DON'T GO HOME HAVE PRIDE AND PLUS IS NOT A GOOD START WITH ALL THIS ABUSE!! Still I'm very sorry for your situation and wish you all the best!!

It is sad and scary to read this... This is emotional, physical and verbal abuse! As the other 2 readers said; why don't you go home?

[EAbbas 213]

To be here such a short time I would agree it would be much easier to go home. If you had been here for years and years i could understand the desire to stay as you would have built a life here already and settled with job home security but right now.. you just got here and already talking about adjusting status alone.. even after such trauma... i wish you the best at whatever you decide but for me I would have packed it up and gone home if i have only been here such a short time.

Good luck.

[eric_and_teresa 10]

I'm sorry you're going through this but I do have a quick qn... why don't you go home? I know for 100% certainty if Tony and i didn't work i would have been on the first plane home, the GC just isn't that important to me because I didn't move here for that, I moved here for him.

**Edit - yes you can TRY for VAWA. You might not get approved though, it's not guaranteed.

My thoughts exactly!

[Richie Rich 70]

The beatings and humiliation is not worth it . As many said --either go home or find a job and move on with your life . Those abusive situations often gets worst and end up bad . I am sorry all did not work out well as you hoped for , but life goes on .

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

I'm sorry you're going through this but I do have a quick qn... why don't you go home? I know for 100% certainty if Tony and i didn't work i would have been on the first plane home, the GC just isn't that important to me because I didn't move here for that, I moved here for him.

Vanessa,

that's excellent advice and will work like a charm until the U.S. becomes home for you as well.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Vanessa, that's excellent advice and will work like a charm until the U.S. becomes home for you as well.

I'm not sure whether you're actually agreeing or being sarcastic. She's been in the US max 7 months (assuming she married on the 90th day for the max). She lives with his family where she said her husband "often" screams at her that she's a user. It certainly wouldn't be "home" here (for me) under these conditions... but you're right, I should have said "home country" to be clear.

Honestly though for me, the US isn't "home" yet, and I've been here two years. It's just the place I currently live... but I'm not sure Aus is "home" still either... though I would return there in a heartbeat, even now, if I was subjected to the conditions the OP describes... well.. appears I'm presently "homeless".. :S

[Farsider 7]

OP writes...... "I got shovked (shook or shoved?) and scared i know he hits me but cant remember how because im too shocked.. I got bruises on my arms..."

Leave him. Now.

We all make mistakes... don't punish yourself by staying with this abuser. Things will only get worse if you do not leave him. I cannot emphasize this enough - even if the consequences of leaving him means you should go home -- get away from this loser.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Inappropriate post has been removed. Please don't speculate when there is nothing in the statement to support negative speculation. That is called 'trolling'. If you do not have something constructive to add to the discussion, then please do not participate.

Edited November 13, 2011 by Kathryn41

[ceadsearc 515]

OP doesn't have a timeline or country filled in, so we don't know where she is from. Even though she may have come here for love, "home" may not be a great place to return to either.

To the OP, as was mentioned, you can try for VAWA but it isn't guaranteed. It's good that you went to the police station and you should continue to do that if anything else happens regardless of whether you plan to stay or go. I can tell you from personal experience that abusive people DO NOT CHANGE. Read the VAWA threads here for more information if you do indeed want to try to obtain your green card anyway.

[Lindzie 0]

i just want to pick up the pieces here that's why im asking help if i have the chance to stay.. i already sacrificed everything in my home country... thank you to everyone, i will be back on china this december..

[PatRhea 1]

:thumbs:

Agreed with Vanessa!! WHY YOU JUST DON'T GO HOME HAVE PRIDE AND PLUS IS NOT A GOOD START WITH ALL THIS ABUSE!! Still I'm very sorry for your situation and wish you all the best!!

I'm sorry you're going through this but I do have a quick qn... why don't you go home? I know for 100% certainty if Tony and i didn't work i would have been on the first plane home, the GC just isn't that important to me because I didn't move here for that, I moved here for him.

:thumbs: :thumbs:

**Edit - yes you can TRY for VAWA. You might not get approved though, it's not guaranteed.

[brownskinned 5]

I'm not sure whether you're actually agreeing or being sarcastic. She's been in the US max 7 months (assuming she married on the 90th day for the max). She lives with his family where she said her husband "often" screams at her that she's a user. It certainly wouldn't be "home" here (for me) under these conditions... but you're right, I should have said "home country" to be clear.

Honestly though for me, the US isn't "home" yet, and I've been here two years. It's just the place I currently live... but I'm not sure Aus is "home" still either... though I would return there in a heartbeat, even now, if I was subjected to the conditions the OP describes... well.. appears I'm presently "homeless".. :S

Same here. Same here. I'd move back to my home country in less than a heartbeat if I'm maltreated like that!! There are a lot of people back home that loves me. I certainly don't deserve things like the OP described. tsk tsk.

To the OP.. Next time if he threatens you, tell him to buy you a ticket home!!!