Personal Problems

[raymaga 25]

Even though it has been quite a long time since our K-1 visa process, I can still remember vividly how much stress we were both under and how much we had minor disagreements. They were quite frequent, and we attributed them to the fact that we were obsessed with the process and wanting it to be over.

After we got our approval, and I moved to the U.S., things got a lol better for us.

Just hang in there and remember that you are not alone.

Good luck!!!!

[Alex~Alan 8]

Alan and I do not argue, despite the stress of this process. We decided not to take it out on each other. We have dealt with many stressors since we met and decided to be together, and while sometimes it feels like there will never be an end to it, logically you know there will be. He is more of a rock, and I am the researcher, just like many of the females above. I just try to keep myself together so as not to make matters worse. As long as he is able to convey how he feels now and then, I don't make it hard on him, so we don't have conversations that highlight how much we miss each other, although we do say it here and there. We talk a lot, and I will occasionally tell him about things I read and learn on here, but he has no interest in checking it out first hand. That is OK with me. I guess what I am trying to say is that it has been beneficial for us to concentrate on other things for the most part, but do it in such a way that still lets the other person know that they are still the most important thing in your world.

[JohnC811 4]

your not alone keep the faith, it is an arduous process and I could tell from my fiancee she was becoming discouraged for all the time that it takes. In the long run it has made us stronger as a couple and soon this process will be behind you wishing you the best.

[MOandDB 4]

thank you all for your advice!!! i have to agree with you all...this whole process brings the worst out of us, but it could also strengthen our relationship with our loved ones.

and thanks for all the luck!

[Messybrownhair 251]

Oh yes, its definitely stressful and overwhelming. There was one time that Tim wanted to cancel the application even because he was getting scared that I would be unhappy when I arrived in the US.. sigh.. don't let it get you down. It's a stressful time for everyone!

[AL+ ALENA FOREVER 1]

We have not had any fights but Iagree the whole process extremely stressful. The process of filing theapplication for the K1 Visa and just waiting for people who do not know us todetermine if the relationship is real. I cannot understand why they make uswait 5 months. How can it take 5 months to process the application for a K1Visa. I do not think that anyone is looking at the paperwork it just sits therewaiting for someone to look at the application. I cannot see why the wholeprocess should take more then 2 months. If it is a lack of employees to do thework they should be able to hire more employees. If it takes more money to hiremore employees then charge me more to process the application for a K1 Visa butget it done on a timely basis. I cannot speak for other people but I wouldrather pay more money then sit here waiting for someone to pickup theapplication for a K1 Visa and go through the steps to determine if ourrelationship is real (I have idea how they can make that determination based onthe application). Maybe this is all a test that they want to put us through. Ifwe can last the 5 months then it raises their confidence in the relationship.If we are still together, but yet still apart at the end of the 5 months we arethen considered a real couple. We spend 5 - 7 hours a day between chatting onthe computer & talking on the phone each and everyday. It is just extremelystressful to be sitting on the other side of the world from the woman I will bespending the rest of my life with. I am sure other people may have differentideas.

I hope everyone's process findsits way to a positive conclusion very soon.

[Richie Rich 70]

I am sorry to hear about the problems that u r having because of stress and other factors . Even though my fiancee wishes to join me here soon --she wishes to spend some quality time with her family (they are close knit) before she joins me here. I am more stressed out than her beacause of the long process.

[PhilAmTx 14]

my baby hates paper works thats why he gets lawyer to work for us..and hes working his a** for us too.very busy guy.. i was the one who cares to read and logged on to this site and other stuff regarding this.. yes indeed its very stressful emotionally .. we haven't had fight, i tried to be more patience when it comes to him because he works all day and i do nothing all day.. so, in my part what i did is getting in touch from other members,ask,read and share stories... it helps a lot... he wasn't even know about this and how this site helps,but i kept telling him everyday when we talked that ,i learned a lot from here,and i was able to tell him all the stuffs because he listens to me.. he always do .. not until yesterday, maybe he was curious about all this and i sent him the link of a interesting topic here... he read and he ask me our username and password..and now he start looking reading and i'm happy for that...

anyway good luck to both of you... all the best!!

[BringMyBabyHome 14]

; I'm going to join the club ..

Me and Aaron talked about it on the phone today... We "argue" a bit more than we used to when we are together and before this whole process.

Like other girls on this form, I do research this all way more than he does, which is fine because he is working his bum off . However, we talk every day and the more we talk, the more we say that we miss each other. Which make things worse, lol!!

Like today, I was like so annoyed of my lonelyness and being apart from him. Although i have the luxury to visit him every 2 months. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him less than you all do. I'm just saying that being apart is getting old and that you fire your frustration towards each other without the meaning hurting each other.

We all are doubting a lil more than before we started this process. And we girls are showing our emotions way more often than our guys. LOL! Sometimes I'm like crying and screaming when I'm talking to him, and I tell Aaron that I feel the world is about to end spinning. LOL, he tells me to chillax, and not act like a drama queen Guys are just not that over-emotional like we are...

But after arguing and talking it out, you'll realize that your love is soooo strong and found the motivation and strength to wait again. Like sometimes, when you feel like crying, you cry and after that, you feel so much better .

My day, your day, just the BIG DAY will come eventually..

For now, you should read my signature below and you'll feel much better!!

This exact thing happened to me today. I was feeling idle and lonely and started thinking of a bunch of silly grievances that I felt I had to share with my fiance. Of course it led to an argument where he is level headed and I'm all emotional. If we occupied our minds with other things than being apart I think it would make it easier.

[mishellibelli 1]

I am really glad that this topic was posted - I was actually thinking about posting something similar today! We're going through a tough point right now (I should say 'I' rather than 'we' - Thoko is handling this a lot better than me right now!). It has been a long road - 16 months since I have moved away from Malawi and 8 months since starting this visa process (though fortunately I have been able to visit twice). We have never really had any issues until recently - I'm finding that the longer that this goes on, the more I sweat the small stuff. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I feel like just throwing in the towel and completely giving up. But then I realize how completely miserable I would be if he were not in my life, and we are soooo close now! I am so thankful for this forum and that we all can understand what kind of stress and feelings we are all dealing with - we're not alone!

[C_María 6]

It's so great to hear we're not the only ones! I can't wait til this ####### is over and we can go back to just fighting like normal couples.

[Tim/Mav 305]

This is Funny but True. How can it be posible to get in an argument on a computor ? LOL. hahaahahahaa! I remember one time we dis-agreed and I turned her picture around for 2 days. haahahaaaaaa! And let her know I did. We never had any kind of serious argument though.

[charlize56 4]

i feel the same thing,this waiting is stressful and some times i felt that im goin crazy thinking about if we will get approve or not,mostly when i read other people here that got denied,i am so scared,me and my fiance had arguments sometime bcoz im the one that always thinking negative,hes the one that is always cool and relax,always telling me to think positive but sometimes i have panic attack! waiting,waitingdont know if we weill get aprove or what?this is killin me!

[*Yankee Love* 15]

Yup we had that Break Down Point pretty early in the waiting Point, i believe it was also cuz i just left from my 3 months stay and it was overwhelming not to know the near future.

Stay tight, it will happen to all of us sooner or later like a lil virus

[CaBOoSE 3]

Both my Fiancee and I have had some breakdowns, and we are lucky that only 5 hours separates us.... It gets to everyone, not knowing the status, or even just waiting... but it will be fine once more gets known... I think it is just mainly the time between NOA1 and 2 that gets most of us, because of the unknown.... We all like to be in control of our fates, and right now, it is solely in someone elses hands... But it will get better.... You will see..