Personal Problems

[MOandDB 4]

Did anyone here have any problems with their partners while processing the papers and all that for the visa? It's just that my fiance and I never had any problems in the past, but ever since we started filing for this visa, i feel like our relationship has been strained. i love him so much though, and i'm scared that in the process...well...you know.

just want to know if i'm the only one who's going or gone through this before. thanks!

[Angelheart1962 6]

Did anyone here have any problems with their partners while processing the papers and all that for the visa? It's just that my fiance and I never had any problems in the past, but ever since we started filing for this visa, i feel like our relationship has been strained. i love him so much though, and i'm scared that in the process...well...you know.

just want to know if i'm the only one who's going or gone through this before. thanks!

It's a very stressful process, all the waiting, being apart etc. I dont think there are many couples who sail through without any problems. Just try to think positive and be considerate of each other. Good luck!

[gandacel 7]

I really doubt that there are any couples that go through this process who can keep it together the whole time. It gets so frustrating at times...It was the same for my fiance and I, we would fight maybe once a month or not even that, and we would always make up in like 5 minutes. It is easier when you're together. You fight, then you are sorry and you go and kiss your significant other. When you are apart, these stupid little fights become more and more often and last longer. I understand what you are going through, and I bet everyone here does. You are not alone. Just stay strong and remember why you are doing this: IT'S WORTH IT!

[MOandDB 4]

Thank you so much for your replies. I feel better knowing that I'm not alone in feeling this way. It is stressful. I think about him being away from me, the paper works we can't agree on, the thought of not being approved...ugh...

but once again, thanks for the words of encouragement.

[grumpymcdorky18 7]

hmm, well I think most of us felt that way too. I agree to what Angelheart1962 said that this whole process is stressful, I felt that when I started preparing our I-129F package. To be honest with you I did most of the paperworks; stayed up late, sneaked from work just to read through the forums, it's like making a thesis in college again. My bf doesn't really have that much patience when it comes to paperworks but he made it clear that he wants us to be together (I guess that's the reason why some couples get a lawyer). Thousand times I told him to read through the forums so just in case I miss out something he can help me, but I guess he'd rather read his "games" forum, spend money on it and procastinate that sometimes made the "waiting" frustrating. Sometimes it makes me feel I'm the only one who's in this whole thing, but when he sent the package he got concerned a bit and I hope it'll get more better. I even told him that if not for him I really don't have plans of settling to the US, I'm settled here in the Philippines so why start from scratch.....but I guess that's how love works.

I think you need to assess what you really feel. There will be a lot of times that you'll be scared, and you have to communicate this with your partner coz he should be the first person to support you in this long journey. There will be tough times but communication is the most effective way to keep this long distance relationship strong. Fellow VJers are also here to support you Good luck

[DARUMA07 25]

You are not alone! There were times we just felt like giving up, but the desire to be together overcame the negative thoughts. You will be surprised how quickly the process will go from here on out.... Just hang in there!!!

[MOandDB 4]

hmm, well I think most of us felt that way too. I agree to what Angelheart1962 said that this whole process is stressful, I felt that when I started preparing our I-129F package. To be honest with you I did most of the paperworks; stayed up late, sneaked from work just to read through the forums, it's like making a thesis in college again. My bf doesn't really have that much patience when it comes to paperworks but he made it clear that he wants us to be together (I guess that's the reason why some couples get a lawyer). Thousand times I told him to read through the forums so just in case I miss out something he can help me, but I guess he'd rather read his "games" forum, spend money on it and procastinate that sometimes made the "waiting" frustrating. Sometimes it makes me feel I'm the only one who's in this whole thing, but when he sent the package he got concerned a bit and I hope it'll get more better. I even told him that if not for him I really don't have plans of settling to the US, I'm settled here in the Philippines so why start from scratch.....but I guess that's how love works.

I think you need to assess what you really feel. There will be a lot of times that you'll be scared, and you have to communicate this with your partner coz he should be the first person to support you in this long journey. There will be tough times but communication is the most effective way to keep this long distance relationship strong. Fellow VJers are also here to support you Good luck

oh wow!!! that is exactly how i feel! i would make him go to this website, because i've been telling him how much i learn from all of you, but he doesn't want to. but as of the moment, we're okay again. don't get me wrong, he does his part, all the time, and i know how much he wants me to be there. it's just that he's not as meticulous as i am.

You are not alone! There were times we just felt like giving up, but the desire to be together overcame the negative thoughts. You will be surprised how quickly the process will go from here on out.... Just hang in there!!!

aaaww...thanks. i am. i just hope we don't forget the reason why we are doing this.

[Channah&Aaron 51]

; I'm going to join the club ..

Me and Aaron talked about it on the phone today... We "argue" a bit more than we used to when we are together and before this whole process.

Like other girls on this form, I do research this all way more than he does, which is fine because he is working his bum off . However, we talk every day and the more we talk, the more we say that we miss each other. Which make things worse, lol!!

Like today, I was like so annoyed of my lonelyness and being apart from him. Although i have the luxury to visit him every 2 months. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him less than you all do. I'm just saying that being apart is getting old and that you fire your frustration towards each other without the meaning hurting each other.

We all are doubting a lil more than before we started this process. And we girls are showing our emotions way more often than our guys. LOL! Sometimes I'm like crying and screaming when I'm talking to him, and I tell Aaron that I feel the world is about to end spinning. LOL, he tells me to chillax, and not act like a drama queen Guys are just not that over-emotional like we are...

But after arguing and talking it out, you'll realize that your love is soooo strong and found the motivation and strength to wait again. Like sometimes, when you feel like crying, you cry and after that, you feel so much better .

My day, your day, just the BIG DAY will come eventually..

For now, you should read my signature below and you'll feel much better!!

Edited February 6, 2011 by Channah&Aaron

[MOandDB 4]

; I'm going to join the club ..

Me and Aaron talked about it on the phone today... We "argue" a bit more than we used to when we are together and before this whole process.

Like other girls on this form, I do research this all way more than he does, which is fine because he is working his bum off . However, we talk every day and the more we talk, the more we say that we miss each other. Which make things worse, lol!!

Like today, I was like so annoyed of my lonelyness and being apart from him. Although i have the luxury to visit him every 2 months. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him less than you all do. I'm just saying that being apart is getting old and that you fire your frustration towards each other without the meaning hurting each other.

We all are doubting a lil more than before we started this process. And we girls are showing our emotions way more often than our guys. LOL! Sometimes I'm like crying and screaming when I'm talking to him, and I tell Aaron that I feel the world is about to end spinning. LOL, he tells me to chillax, and not act like a drama queen Guys are just not that over-emotional like we are...

But after arguing and talking it out, you'll realize that your love is soooo strong and found the motivation and strength to wait again. Like sometimes, when you feel like crying, you cry and after that, you feel so much better .

My day, your day, just the BIG DAY will come eventually..

For now, you should read my signature below and you'll feel much better!!

aaawww...thanks! what you're going through is exactly what i'm going through. but sometimes, i just keep it to myself because i don't want to feel like he's going to regret being with me. it's hard...although we just sorta talked about it just now, so i feel a bit better. and reading all of your replies...i feel A LOT better.

[Al422 221]

None whatsoever. Elena and I both realize that we are not each other's enemies but instead the victims of the Gestapo wannabees that run the show. And there is simply no way we are going to let them win.

[Marizhell 11]

Did anyone here have any problems with their partners while processing the papers and all that for the visa? It's just that my fiance and I never had any problems in the past, but ever since we started filing for this visa, i feel like our relationship has been strained. i love him so much though, and i'm scared that in the process...well...you know.

just want to know if i'm the only one who's going or gone through this before. thanks!

Visa process is really stressful....just be more understanding...I could say its a big trial for both of you, let LOVE prevail within you and your fiancee. There is no such perfect relationship Goodluck

[ilovemybaby 9]

Did anyone here have any problems with their partners while processing the papers and all that for the visa? It's just that my fiance and I never had any problems in the past, but ever since we started filing for this visa, i feel like our relationship has been strained. i love him so much though, and i'm scared that in the process...well...you know.

just want to know if i'm the only one who's going or gone through this before. thanks!

i am experiencing this stressful fight ryt now.. like i almost want to give up.. i dnt if its part of this process too..lol sometimes i am paranoid like "maybe he was like that coz he dnt want to marry anymore" i have that thought evrytime we fght... ( and we dnt talk about visa anymore..

[coraliesolms 47]

My husband and I had weekly meltdowns during the process. Most of it stemmed from me being so upset at being "trapped" in another country, and he felt powerless to help me feel better. Its natural, and it causes problems. All I wanted to do was talk about the "next immigration step" and he wanted to talk about anything else BUT immigration, it became the white elephant in the room and made regular "hi how are you, I love you" conversations strained.

However, that moment of victory when you hear the word "approved" and you go to the post office and pick up your visa makes it ALL go away. And when you finally get to be together, all those silly arguments will just disappear. We sit together now and laugh about how silly it was that we would argue over who should call the NVC and "why didnt you sent the paperwork on MONDAY... instead you wasted 2 days and sent it on WEDNESDAY!!".

Keep your chin up, and try to fight the fight together And remember, we are all in the same boat, or were at one point, and will gladly offer a kind word or shoulder to cry on

[carla1 4]

The process of the NOA 1 to NOA 2 approval is terribly stressful, months without any notice whatsoever, the need to be apart while the process is ongoing and recently the delays experienced by VSC.... What can I say? (Other than it SUCKS!!)

Right now I haven't seen Daniel since April 1 2010, and to me it feels as if he is a little farther away, I know he loves me, but I think with the long frustrating wait it is a little easier to not talk every day and feel the pain and loneliness. I really am very uncomfortable with having no control and/or knowledge of the process, the doc put me on anti-anxiety meds which really make me a better person to be around at work.

Fortunately we were able to get a tourist visa for Daniel to come visit Texas Feb 14 - Feb 26, and 3 days after we got the visa our NOA 2 came in.

Strangely now that I know we are on track I am having giant jitters. I am 47 and set in my ways.... what was I thinking of? What if Daniel changes his mind, what if he hates it here, what if we don't get along???? What if he has changed in the last 10.5 months?

Logically I know when I see him all these fears will go away, I do know that we love each other, but my whole life is about to change!

I guess my point is, while it is a relief to be over with the NOA 1 wait, there is a new set of stressors afterward. But I guess that is what building a life with another person is like!

[jrmejia 31]

I had few arguments with mine. Actually, contrary to what many of you believe, I kind of liked those arguments. It brought out the tiger out of both of us

I feel as if she knows me better now and I know her better. I think