Personal Problems

[arwen 8]

Yes, yes, I think it is normal! I've had a few hysterical outbusts which have lead to some difficult moments to say the least. I've even had cold feet a couple of times. How I look at it, as well as all the stress of mounds of paper work and waiting, It has finally dawned on me that this is it. Things become more definite-offical once the paperwork is sent off. I'm leaving my whole life behind to start a new one and it scares the ####### out of me! I mean...it is not as if I have a bad life at the moment which would make things alot more easy if I did. I am starting to detach myself from things in my life here which is making the wait more difficult. It is kind of like living in limbo.I am giving up everything and if things go tits up.....Well, I'm in ###### street! I do not have any family to bail me out. Of course, I like to think that everything will be fine, but I do occasionally get hyjacked by the internal negative chatter. I then start making myself paranoid and take it out on him by nagging him. Luckily he knows what I'm like, so he lets me go on until I stop.

[Al422 221]

Nobody is perfect, and this degrading and dehumanizing process brings those imperfections to the surface. If you see an imperfection in your SO for the first time, use it as a learning experience and not as a judgmental experience. Think of the imperfection you see as your SO's weak spot (yes we all have them) and think of ways to strengthen it.

Elena and I actually handle this quite differently. She grew up in the Soviet Union, where bureaucratic arrogance like this was the norm, and since their society was closed, to them it was the norm for all governments. For me, I come from New York, where you get your mail delivered the next day, deeds recorded the same week, and court dates within a month. And being in corporate management makes this process all the more surreal for me. But we never turned on each other, not once ever. The bureaucratic idiots may be able to control our calendars, but they will never control our minds.

[Channah&Aaron 51]

; I also realized that I also want to talk about the next step in this process also.. Sometimes I'm ashamed that whenever he is talking about other things, like work. My mind is still with the K1 process..

YIKES, it's taking control of me

Edited February 6, 2011 by Channah&Aaron

[Shenzhen 34]

Nobody is perfect, and this degrading and dehumanizing process brings those imperfections to the surface. If you see an imperfection in your SO for the first time, use it as a learning experience and not as a judgmental experience. Think of the imperfection you see as your SO's weak spot (yes we all have them) and think of ways to strengthen it.

Elena and I actually handle this quite differently. She grew up in the Soviet Union, where bureaucratic arrogance like this was the norm, and since their society was closed, to them it was the norm for all governments. For me, I come from New York, where you get your mail delivered the next day, deeds recorded the same week, and court dates within a month. And being in corporate management makes this process all the more surreal for me. But we never turned on each other, not once ever. The bureaucratic idiots may be able to control our calendars, but they will never control our minds.

It's very frustrating we have been stuck at the NVC for since mid November. Paper work sent in 2x by mail. Nothing recieved. Finally I talked the lawyer into filing electronically which I wanted him to do back then. Now he finally sent in the Email. I call once a week they have not recieved anything from us. This is total BS. Anyone else stuck in the NVC. What does SIF stand for. My god it would be great if they at least recieved our paper work. They can't even work on the case with out the papers. This is total Horse doodoo. This process is way too long.

Edited February 6, 2011 by Shenzhen

[John+Lourdelie 28]

The longer you are apart, the more easily stupid little insignificant ridiculous things will set you off. The important thing is that you recover quickly and that both of you realize that you are not the only ones going through this long drawn out process. It will eventually come to an end and you will be together again. Don't let the process get the better of you. Show it that you are the boss and that you are better than it.

John

[LoveMyMohamed 6]

This process does take a toll. I feel similar to you all, the being apart and not knowing when some strangers - at their whim - will allow us to start our lives together in the U.S. or not. And we could be waiting 5 or so months, then find out "they" want us to jump a few more jumps and hop through a few more hoops, to please them. It's like a very long nightmare. Of course I understand why our embassies/governments have their concerns - rightly so - but for us that just have pure intentions, it is pretty hellish! I've regained a lot of weight that I had so proudly and determinedly lost. I'm gonna blame it all on the K1 Visa process, too! lol (gotta laugh) And some days are way harder than others. Today we lost our internet connection (at my end) and due to a few things written just before, he took it I'd signed off angry at him and this won't be corrected til same time, tomorrow, given we have a good internet connection. This is a VERY HARD process!

I wish you all with loving hearts longing for your SO to be with you, the very very best of everything. My fiance has said several times, "the problem between us is distance." YES YES YES. So please Uncle Sam, be nice to your nieces and nephews. Please? LOL

Have a good rest of your day and night, everyone!!!! I'm gonna really try!

[marklovetina 52]

Did anyone here have any problems with their partners while processing the papers and all that for the visa? It's just that my fiance and I never had any problems in the past, but ever since we started filing for this visa, i feel like our relationship has been strained. i love him so much though, and i'm scared that in the process...well...you know.

just want to know if i'm the only one who's going or gone through this before. thanks!

i feel u, i didnt have any problem with my hon during this visa process bcoz we are really both patiently waiting for it... just that when i am processing my annulment he is being stressed and depressed during that time... but i am soooo thankful and sooo glad that we passed by through with that... and now even honey sometimes is sad it pass by so quickly bcoz he knew that this time it will be ok and we are getting there now... what we learned, have lots of patience, trust, love and respect to one another and pray and we will all do fine...

[Mr. Florida 11]

Did anyone here have any problems with their partners while processing the papers and all that for the visa? It's just that my fiance and I never had any problems in the past, but ever since we started filing for this visa, i feel like our relationship has been strained. i love him so much though, and i'm scared that in the process...well...you know.

just want to know if i'm the only one who's going or gone through this before. thanks!

My fiancee and I are going through a rough period now as we speak. We have waited for our NOA2 for over 5 months. We haven't seen each other in over 7 months. After we got our NOA2, all of our problems have now begun. I'm not sure what to do because our relationship now is very strained.

[VolimTe 0]

Do not worry about this

me and my fiance argue a lot :/ i went to visit him,DURING the process.. omg we kept arguing and arguing...but i love him no matter .. and i know its because of this stupid process.

Edited February 6, 2011 by Jovana-Danijel

[VolimTe 0]

oooopps I accidentally posted my advice i pressed something as i was typing, but i just wanted to add it seems like its normal :/ me and my fiance argue even more because our NOA2 is about to expire on February 15th and he had to wait till Monday February 7th, to schedule an interview.. hopefully they will schedule it before the 15th...but away from that point, we would argue why didnt he call the day he scheduled his medical exam.. and he wld always play so smart like he knows everything every time i say something he wld just say the opposite... because he`s stressed out too and every time i mention it i think he gets very stressed out .. than we just go on and on arguing untill one of us hangs up that stupid skype its usually him ((((( im going to throw away my computer as soon as he comes :/ ... i dont want to see it!!!!! anymore 3 yrs. aaaahhhh .. but we never rlly got into an argument that we didn't talk for a day or like break up... he comes back on skype n than we talk about it normally... well at least try to ... u just have to be strong ..sometimes im in such a bad mood because its always on my mind, and we would argue sometimes about things that dont relate to visa...x

[Afrikan Queen 11]

Visa process is really stressful....just be more understanding...I could say its a big trial for both of you, let LOVE prevail within you and your fiancee. There is no such perfect relationship Goodluck

Nicely said.

[Abby62 23]

I know how you feel, it's hard and things can be strained for everyone. I mean..who gets married or engaged and can't even go through the usual dating, living together, every day stuff?? It's very odd, but we do this because we are strong and in the end know that our lives will be better and that's the hope for us all...love and happiness..

My journey is almost over and I am so looking forward to the day where I can wake up with my husband and be happy.

One thing that has made the last six weeks not seeing each other easier was the purchase of two ipod touches. We facetime each other which is totally free if you have wifi. We can talk and see each other and we do for hours, so it's like we are together..it was the best investment we made in the time we have known each other..highly recommend it!

[JudyKCski 12]

I totally agree with all of the above comments. Perhaps the waiting process is to make sure we can make it though the rough times.

I just am NOT used to having something like this control my life - easier said that done to find things to do to keep my mind off of this.

I like to talk about things he has to do when we get to Noa2 and he says - I will worry about that when the Noa2 comes - he says why worry about something that has not yet happened. Me - I like to have my 'ducks all in a row' - and to make mention of things - instead of getting the conversation .. "Why didn't you tell me that!" which I know will eventually come.

Yes, my Noa2 has not yet come - but because of being so alone (both of us) I am flying for a 3 month trip to him... yeah the next notice may be a RFE - but I will take care of it if and when it does happen.

All I know is we are both prepared if things do not turn out - there is more than 1 way to skin a cat. We both though would just like to be able to laugh about this process after it is said and done. If someone right now were to ask me about it... not quite sure what I would tell them.

Good luck to all of us October filers... Al - I also am in NYS - good luck to us

[Krikit 1,163]

Moving from K-1 Process to K-1 Progress.

[Jade & Earl 2]

Yes, You are definitely not alone!! During my last visit to him we filed the K1 papers and spent almost 3 months together as a family. Then to have to come home and wait not knowing when then end will come sent me crazy. Its so disheartening. Last week I seemed to be always picking fights with him. We got it all sorted out and things are great now, I look back and realise it was stupid. I was just so stressed. Thankfully he is visiting me this weekend for 8 days, so I am busy getting ready for him arriving. It's the most difficult thing to have to go through, when you love someone so much and have to be thousands of miles apart. I often freak out and worry he will meet someone else while this process is dragging out, Thankfully he will go to the ends of the earth to reassure me. I am very lucky to have him. Remember this will be over eventually and you will have the rest of your lives together. Thats why we are all going through this awful process, because its worth it! *Hugs*