What if the US citizen files for divorce?

[Pocahontas 0]

To make this story short: I have two jobs, in order to be able to pay my debts and still make payments for the land I bought back home. He is not happy with the amount of money he gets from me, so he is giving me the silent treatment on a daily basis (he has one job, that pays him s**t, but won't consider a 2nd job). I am going to have a serious talk with him, tell him that this is not marriage, and he did not win me at the lottery, so I am not gonna be treated like that. Not to mention that when we filed for GC he had to sign that affidavit, stating that he assumes financial responsibility for me (even though, obviously, it is not the case).

My question: what if he decides I'm not useful for the amount of money he gets monthly from me, so he files for divorce??? Where am I standing? Can i lose my right to live here, be sent home like a "used wife" that he decided he won't need anymore ?

[payxibka 10,045]

To make this story short: I have two jobs, in order to be able to pay my debts and still make payments for the land I bought back home. He is not happy with the amount of money he gets from me, so he is giving me the silent treatment on a daily basis (he has one job, that pays him s**t, but won't consider a 2nd job). I am going to have a serious talk with him, tell him that this is not marriage, and he did not win me at the lottery, so I am not gonna be treated like that. Not to mention that when we filed for GC he had to sign that affidavit, stating that he assumes financial responsibility for me (even though, obviously, it is not the case).

My question: what if he decides I'm not useful for the amount of money he gets monthly from me, so he files for divorce??? Where am I standing? Can i lose my right to live here, be sent home like a "used wife" that he decided he won't need anymore ?

If you entered the marriage in good faith, you can file a waiver to self remove your conditions.... Your divorce needs to be final before a decision on self removal can be made...

[Coleen 2]

To make this story short: I have two jobs, in order to be able to pay my debts and still make payments for the land I bought back home. He is not happy with the amount of money he gets from me, so he is giving me the silent treatment on a daily basis (he has one job, that pays him s**t, but won't consider a 2nd job). I am going to have a serious talk with him, tell him that this is not marriage, and he did not win me at the lottery, so I am not gonna be treated like that. Not to mention that when we filed for GC he had to sign that affidavit, stating that he assumes financial responsibility for me (even though, obviously, it is not the case).

My question: what if he decides I'm not useful for the amount of money he gets monthly from me, so he files for divorce??? Where am I standing? Can i lose my right to live here, be sent home like a "used wife" that he decided he won't need anymore ?

Hey!

I have just read your post and ummm.. well, I am very confused. I know that I probably shouldn't write anything and should keep my mouth shut but I can't do it. ''HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH THE AMOUNT OF MONEY HE GETS FROM ME'' Forgive me for quoting, it's not my intention to offend you or make you feel bad or anything like that, it's just that your post makes me wonder what kind of marriage is that?!?! Obviously not based on any vows. No woman in this world should ever allow herself to be treated like that!

And ''what if he files for divorce''? Well, I'll tell you this: I would never let that happen because I would be one filing for divorce no matter which consequences I'd have to deal with later. I could never be surrounded with sort of people treating me like that, and stay positive and be a good wife at the same time. Even readnig that something like this happened to you (or anyone else) is pissing me off!

If you let that goes on you are standing nowhere! Respect yourself more and others will respect you too.

You should definitely have a deep and constructive conversation with your husband.

Again, please forgive me for writing all of this. I sincerely hope that you will find a way to work out those issues. And I wish you tons of luck.

[Pocahontas 0]

You are right! The thing is, I've known this guy for so long, and I could've never imagined money can change a person like that. He makes me feel very obligated because I imigrated "the easy way", to a house and a car, I didn't have to start from zero, like he did. So that is the main reason, that now it is my turn to sacrifice.

Well, long story and painful, but thanks for the input and the answers from both of you!

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Ok, I'm going to play devil's advocate here because someone's got to do it. You said some things in your opening post that give me the feeling that there's a sense of entitlement on both sides here.

You said you work two jobs in order to pay your debts and make payments on land you bought "back home". How much, exactly, are you contributing to the household you live in here in the US? Is he paying all of the household bills, while you keep your earnings for your own personal expenses?

Also, you completely misunderstand the affidavit of support. It is, in no way, an assumption of financial responsibility for you. The affidavit of support is a guarantee by the sponsor to the US government that the immigrant will not collect means tested benefits, and that the sponsor will provide any support NECESSARY to ensure the immigrant is supported at 125% of the poverty guidelines, as long as the affidavit remains in effect. It is not a license for the immigrant to earn a comfortable living while imposing on the sponsor to provide for their living expenses.

To put this in more pragmatic terms, you're not eligible for most means tested benefits until you've been an LPR for five years, but even after that it's highly unlikely you'd be eligible if you're working two jobs. Also, if you're working two jobs then no additional support is NECESSARY to guarantee you are being supported at the minimum level required by the affidavit. The terms of the affidavit are being met, even if he's not supporting you at all. If you didn't have any income, then he'd be obligated to step up and provide you the required minimum level of support.

About that sense of entitlement - I get the feeling that he believes he's entitled to a portion of your income to help pay the household expenses. I also get the feeling that you believe you aren't obligated to give him a nickel because you earned the money, and he signed the affidavit promising to support you. Is either of these remotely true?

Ok fire away!

[Krikit 1,164]

Moving from General Immigration Discussion to Effects of Major Changes.

[justashooter 430]

The affidavit of support is a guarantee by the sponsor to the US government that the immigrant will not collect means tested benefits, and that the sponsor will provide any support NECESSARY to ensure the immigrant is supported at 125% of the poverty guidelines, as long as the affidavit remains in effect. It is not a license for the immigrant to earn a comfortable living while imposing on the sponsor to provide for their living expenses.

nearly correct, and misleading.

the 864 does only 1 thing. it makes the sponsor liable for repayment to the US gov't of any means tested benefits that an immigrant may receive from the US gov't. it does not obligate the sponsor to hand over a pile of cash to the immigrant in the amount of 125% of the poverty level, or even to support the immigrant at a household income of 125% of the poverty level. the sponsor doesn't have to ensure the immigrant's standard of living. they just have to pay the gov't back if the immigrant receives means tested benefits.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I actually the post in a different light. You have someone that is using their income for their own gain and relying on their partner to "pay the bills" I can see where the bill paying partner would get annoyed at the other one for gathering wealth while his money is spent on bills. If you have a marriage each partner should be able to contribute to the cost of the home and each partner should be able to grow their personal wealth. They may choose to do it as a combined effort or they may choose to do it separately ( he buys the golf clubs and she gets a sewing machine ) If the ability to have spending money is lopsided the marriage probably won't last.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Since Jim always provides such amazing responses, I'll drift in a completely different direction and call you out: at this point of time you do not have an immigration problem; you have a relationship problem. More to the point: you have a communication problem. Go out for dinner with your hubby, order a bottle of wine, tell him that you love him and want your marriage to work. Then communicate your thoughts and concerns to him.

Addendum: the moment we got married, my wife quit her job and followed her dream to open her own business in her field of expertise. To this day, close to 4 years later, she has not made a penny. On the contrary, her dream so far has cost us over $100,000. But we are a couple, so her dream is more important to me than her money, even though I have to work very hard to provide for all of us, including our daughter who's now in college. Marriage is not a business agreement; it's a life decision.

Edited June 7, 2010 by Just Bob

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

nearly correct, and misleading.

the 864 does only 1 thing. it makes the sponsor liable for repayment to the US gov't of any means tested benefits that an immigrant may receive from the US gov't. it does not obligate the sponsor to hand over a pile of cash to the immigrant in the amount of 125% of the poverty level, or even to support the immigrant at a household income of 125% of the poverty level. the sponsor doesn't have to ensure the immigrant's standard of living. they just have to pay the gov't back if the immigrant receives means tested benefits.

Read the obligations in part 8 of the affidavit. The sponsor specifically agrees to these obligations when they sign the I-864. Here's a quote:

Provide the intending immigrant any support necessary to maintain him or her at an income that is at least 125 percent of the Federal Poverty Guidelines for his or her household size (100 percent if you are the petitioning sponsor and are on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces and the person is your husband, wife, unmarried child under 21 years old.)

And line 30.b of the signature section:

I have read and I understand each of the obligations described in Part 8, and I agree, freely and without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, to accept each of those obligations in order to make it possible for the immigrants indicated in Part 3 to become permanent residents of the United States;

Unless there's a way to dodge these clauses, or the I-864 has been found to be unenforceable or only partially enforceable, I think the sponsor IS obligated to provide any necessary support to maintain them at the stated income level. Of course, "necessary" is an important operative word here. If an immigrant is earning a decent living already, then it isn't "necessary" to provide any additional support.

[Coleen 2]

Since Jim always provides such amazing responses, I'll drift in a completely different direction and call you out: at this point of time you do not have an immigration problem; you have a relationship problem. More to the point: you have a communication problem. Go out for dinner with your hubby, order a bottle of wine, tell him that you love him and want your marriage to work. Then communicate your thoughts and concerns to him.

Addendum: the moment we got married, my wife quit her job and followed her dream to open her own business in her field of expertise. To this day, close to 4 years later, she has not made a penny. On the contrary, her dream so far has cost us over $100,000. But we are a couple, so her dream is more important to me than her money, even though I have to work very hard to provide for all of us, including our daughter who's now in college. Marriage is not a business agreement; it's a life decision.

I just LOVE the way you commented this situation! Issues with money would never be the problem if the relationship was healthy.

[thongd4me 69]

Ok, I'm going to play devil's advocate here because someone's got to do it. You said some things in your opening post that give me the feeling that there's a sense of entitlement on both sides here.

You said you work two jobs in order to pay your debts and make payments on land you bought "back home". How much, exactly, are you contributing to the household you live in here in the US? Is he paying all of the household bills, while you keep your earnings for your own personal expenses?

Also, you completely misunderstand the affidavit of support. It is, in no way, an assumption of financial responsibility for you. The affidavit of support is a guarantee by the sponsor to the US government that the immigrant will not collect means tested benefits, and that the sponsor will provide any support NECESSARY to ensure the immigrant is supported at 125% of the poverty guidelines, as long as the affidavit remains in effect. It is not a license for the immigrant to earn a comfortable living while imposing on the sponsor to provide for their living expenses.

To put this in more pragmatic terms, you're not eligible for most means tested benefits until you've been an LPR for five years, but even after that it's highly unlikely you'd be eligible if you're working two jobs. Also, if you're working two jobs then no additional support is NECESSARY to guarantee you are being supported at the minimum level required by the affidavit. The terms of the affidavit are being met, even if he's not supporting you at all. If you didn't have any income, then he'd be obligated to step up and provide you the required minimum level of support.

About that sense of entitlement - I get the feeling that he believes he's entitled to a portion of your income to help pay the household expenses. I also get the feeling that you believe you aren't obligated to give him a nickel because you earned the money, and he signed the affidavit promising to support you. Is either of these remotely true?

Ok fire away!

I don't think I could have said it better, but and maybe answer some of these questions which are pretty reasonable given your input.

Since you're already here you're not a K-1 any more but adjusting status.

Welcome to VJ!

Edited June 7, 2010 by thongd4me

[thongd4me 69]

Since Jim always provides such amazing responses, I'll drift in a completely different direction and call you out: at this point of time you do not have an immigration problem; you have a relationship problem. More to the point: you have a communication problem. Go out for dinner with your hubby, order a bottle of wine, tell him that you love him and want your marriage to work. Then communicate your thoughts and concerns to him.

Addendum: the moment we got married, my wife quit her job and followed her dream to open her own business in her field of expertise. To this day, close to 4 years later, she has not made a penny. On the contrary, her dream so far has cost us over $100,000. But we are a couple, so her dream is more important to me than her money, even though I have to work very hard to provide for all of us, including our daughter who's now in college. Marriage is not a business agreement; it's a life decision.

a relationship/communication problem and setting the stage for immigration/legal problems.

[kaibigan 8]

Since Jim always provides such amazing responses, I'll drift in a completely different direction and call you out: at this point of time you do not have an immigration problem; you have a relationship problem. More to the point: you have a communication problem. Go out for dinner with your hubby, order a bottle of wine, tell him that you love him and want your marriage to work. Then communicate your thoughts and concerns to him.

Addendum: the moment we got married, my wife quit her job and followed her dream to open her own business in her field of expertise. To this day, close to 4 years later, she has not made a penny. On the contrary, her dream so far has cost us over $100,000. But we are a couple, so her dream is more important to me than her money, even though I have to work very hard to provide for all of us, including our daughter who's now in college. Marriage is not a business agreement; it's a life decision.

-----------------------------

very well said!

[justashooter 430]

Provide the intending immigrant any support necessary to maintain him or her at an income that is at least 125 percent of the Federal Poverty Guidelines for his or her household size (100 percent if you are the petitioning sponsor and are on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces and the person is your husband, wife, unmarried child under 21 years old.)

And line 30.b of the signature section:

I have read and I understand each of the obligations described in Part 8, and I agree, freely and without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, to accept each of those obligations in order to make it possible for the immigrants indicated in Part 3 to become permanent residents of the United States;

and the enforcement is limited to what?

this text is bunkum boilerplate designed to validate a possible claim by US gov't if the immigrant receives means tested benefits. it is nothing more than that, and for any other purpose is not worth the paper you print it on.