Happy Endings In Sub Sarahan

[DebbyNSeyi 15]

Wow Happy Beginnings!!! Congratulations to you ladies that are expecting their bundle of joys.

Nwanyioma

Thanks so much! I'll never forget all the support you guys gave me when our K1 petition was denied...I appreciate all of you!

[Cheyemo 8]

Yayyyy! Let me add that our second child (this time a girl) is also due in March 2012! Wow ladies, I guess we were all pretty busy around the same time huh? LOLOLOL. Congrats to everyone, we really are part of something special!

[reeses16 8]

Just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant! We couldn't be more excited. : )

[evanscholly 1]

Congratulations. I am so happy for you :dance:

[forchika 4]

CONGRATS resses16

[afoyoswa 178]

We are just working on sending the K-1 petition, so I am loving all the stories of what happens after they arrive (even the ones who are struggling), and especially all the babies. I am expecting a lot of adjustment challenges once he gets here, but it's hard to really imagine what they will be like, so it's been good to see more details about the things that came up.

Best wishes to all of you!

[reeses16 8]

Hi Afoyoswa!

Congrats on your engagement! Best of luck getting all of your paper work together. Visa Journey is a great place to learn about navigating the paperwork and get advice about the emotional, financial, planning aspect of things. Read, read, read all you can. Also, you'll find that once people complete a step they aren't as active on the boards...especially after citizenship. But if there is someone who you'd like to connect with send a PM.

Wishing you the best!

We are just working on sending the K-1 petition, so I am loving all the stories of what happens after they arrive (even the ones who are struggling), and especially all the babies. I am expecting a lot of adjustment challenges once he gets here, but it's hard to really imagine what they will be like, so it's been good to see more details about the things that came up.

Best wishes to all of you!

[patient2010 93]

Just checking on everyone.....hubby and I are doing great!

[katie & sifa 25]

Just checking on everyone.....hubby and I are doing great!

We are doing great too Just applied for removal of conditions this week!

[Ben and Jill 37]

We are doing great too Just applied for removal of conditions this week!

Congrats on ROC We file in October of 2013, but I "still" save this and that for evidence as I go along, lol.

[katie & sifa 25]

Congrats on ROC We file in October of 2013, but I "still" save this and that for evidence as I go along, lol.

Oh yeah, that's the way to do it! We had a big old box FULL of stuff we had saved, which made compiling everything relatively easy.

[reeses16 8]

Hi, everyone. Just wanted to give you all a few updates. My once happy marriage is no longer happy and I've filed for divorce. Our issues stem from my husband's drug abuse. I posted my story below, I also posted it a few days ago on the Sub-Saharan Cafe thread. Up until January of this year, we had a great relationship and a happy marriage and then everything went bad, surprising quickly. I know this is the place to post about happy marriages. I don't want to bring the spirit of the thread down, but just let people know that sometimes you do everything you can and things don't work out- either your spouse doesn't want to work things out, or he or she is dealing with problems you can't solve, or things you don't understand.

"Hi everyone! Just popping into say hello and post a few updates. I'm 38 weeks pregnant today. Excited AND terrified. But I'm looking forward to meeting our little boy, the end of swollen unreachable feet, and being able to do all the things on the mommy's no-no list (sleep on my stomach, beer, wine, sauna!).

The last few months have been the most difficult in my life. I left my husband, filed for divorce, moved across country to live with my parents, started a new job, and continued working on my dissertation (hoping to graduate no later than Jan.). I don't think I'll ever understand what happened with my husband. We had 5 wonderful years together, planned this pregnancy (first child for us both), and then soon after my pregnancy he just completely lost his mind. He quit his job days before we confirmed my pregnancy (then refused to look for a new one until I told him I was leaving), started abusing drugs (refused to quit or seek treatment), then spent all of our savings to go home to Ethiopia for 2 months (called after 1 month to say he spent it all). When he got back from Ethiopia he was literally a different person (180 degrees different)- he started telling me that women are lower than men, all of a sudden certain household chores that we shared became "a woman's job", that I had to realize he was an "African Man" (he used this to justify things like refusing to listen to the baby's heartbeat or be a part of the ultrasound and to refuse to look at any of the ultrasound keepsake photos). He then started telling me at least once a week that I shouldn't have gotten pregnant and that I tried to trap him. He would apologize, but then start it all over again the next week. I was devastated to hear him say these things to me. Before my pregnancy, my husband had never said anything/ or treated me in way that indicated men and women were not equal in his mind...but maybe those were his private thoughts. I also found suspicious text messages to/from other women (nothing that was clear evidence of infidelity, but I'm not stupid). I didn't see this coming. Finally, I realized we couldn't continue living on the West Coast. I couldn't support us by myself, I needed to be closer to my family for support, and my husband would never get better living in a place and near friends that enabled his addiction. I applied for and got a job in my home state. I told my parents I was coming home. They said my husband could come too, but that he had to get addiction treatment (they would pay), all in an effort to keep our family together. I explained that to my husband and added that if things were going to workout that we needed marriage counseling as well. He refused. He said that no one could take away his freedom. That it was his God given right as a man to take drugs, and that I needed to accept it and move on. I gave notice at my job and moved 2 weeks later. I asked my husband to come with me, but he said no- he choose to stay one the West Coast without a job and a stable place to live.

Sometimes I feel like a failure- I'm in my 30's living with my parents, my marriage fell apart, and I [have a] baby on the way. But when I reflect on the situation I feel like I did everything I could to make things work, talking gently with my husband (then more firmly), enlisting help from family and friends, seeking counseling on my own. I'm thankful that some of my burdens are much less now. I think it will take at least 2 years to get back on track financially and hopefully finalize the divorce (one minute, my husband doesn't object and will sign the papers, the next he refuses). I've talked to my husband since I moved, and every conversation is a reminder that I did the right thing.

I hope everyone else has fared much better in the last new months! "

[Cheyemo 8]

I'm so sorry to hear this! I just don't understand how people can change so absolutely but I have certainly seen it! I pray that one day you find out the root of all this. I wish you all the best in bringing your beautiful child into the world and filling it's life with love and care.

[GAFL 16]

CONGRATULATIONS ON ALL THE BABIES!!!

This was a wonderful thread to read. I would love to hear responses from everyone on how they are doing now? Most husbands/wifes should be citizens by now or well on their way correct? Well I look forward to hearing from you.

We just got approved to go forward to NVC stages.

Best.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Bumping old thread to see if there are more happy endings . Hubby is a USC and those that know what igwe and lolo mean know what our next adventure is ( although it is sad that his father has died ) I know many of the original posters are gone on with their lives.