Baby Corner

[^_^ 5,021]

I was worried about everyone and their brother taking a look 'down there', which is apparently more common at teaching hospitals, which mine was not. But as long as your wife is ok with that prospect, or would still rather be there for other reasons - I wouldn't let my OB dictate that for me.

I don't see the OB as trying to 'dictate' at all. She has strong opinions and that is fine. Smart people usually do. She also said she is willing to come closer to our place to the teaching hospital if need be. I am trying to gauge how seriously I should be taking her concerns about teaching hospitals. I certainly don't want to give my desire for convenience precedence over any legitimate concerns she may have.

Besides, her OB may not be the one who actually delivers her anyway. (Unless they end up inducing her or scheduling a C-section for some reason.)

She said she personally delivers over 90% of all her patients. The only reason she won't is if she can't make it in time (I took this as another hint that we should consider the hospital closer to her home and practice and not the one closer to our home).

ETA 6-8 hours to get there? What is she on about? That makes no sense to me, sorry.

My wife insists she never heard the OB say that but I did

[TracyTN 237]

I don't see the OB as trying to 'dictate' at all. She has strong opinions and that is fine. Smart people usually do. She also said she is willing to come closer to our place to the teaching hospital if need be. I am trying to gauge how seriously I should be taking her concerns about teaching hospitals. I certainly don't want to give my desire for convenience precedence over any legitimate concerns she may have.

She said she personally delivers over 90% of all her patients. The only reason she won't is if she can't make it in time (I took this as another hint that we should consider the hospital closer to her home and practice and not the one closer to our home).

My wife insists she never heard the OB say that but I did

I still say it comes down to what you guys prefer to do. If her concerns bothered you, then by all means go to the other hospital. (Maybe I misread your post, but your wife's 'answers' kinda made it sound like they didn't bother you too much.) I still stand by what I said about random people coming and having a peek. That would have really bothered me but not everyone is like that.

My doc said the same thing, but still didn't deliver me as it was on a weekend and she wasn't on call. (Maybe she was counting on me having her during normal working hours? I dunno.) I didn't care who delivered me at that point, frankly. LOL. It didn't sound like her doc thought the extra distance was anything to sneeze about.

[Ontarkie 13,925]

Congrats Nane! I had really bad morning sickness also till about 13 weeks and it very slowly got better. I still get some nausea but not bad. Now I'm in my 3rd trimester and I still have zero appetite. Every time I feel like I'm starving I eat then I feel way bloated like over eating at Christmas kind of feeling.

@\ We went on one hospital tour and I was not sure if I wanted to go to that hospital, so I asked my OB who he thought was better set up for low interventions and that was the hospital he recommended. He also went into detail about all the things they have like tub, birthing ball and he then mentioned that since his office is attached with the hamster tunnels he could get over there real fast. He did mention both hospitals are good but if I wanted low intervention that the one we saw was the place to go.

I had friends tell me so many different things about each hospital here and each one had something to complain/praise for each place. I would recommend visiting the other hospital, and find out if the teaching hospital has an NICU ours does not and they also will not take high risk mothers. The last thing I would want as a mother is my baby being sent to another hospital.

[^_^ 5,021]

Hmm. My wife doesn't have a preference for high or low intervention, she wants a place that will intervene when necessary and will err on the side of caution. Whether the teaching hospital fits that better than the non-teaching, I can't tell. I don't really understand this at all.

[Ontarkie 13,925]

What I was meaning is you and your wife need to figure out what the teaching hospital has to offer. For us the teaching hospital cannot handle anything then a normal birth. They do not have the doctors' who can intervene, most of the Doctor she will see will be nothing more then students so to speak. At our teaching hospital they do not have an neonatal intensive care unit, they wont take mother's who are at risk for complication. This is what I meant by asking the hospital and checking out the one her OB prefers.

As for low intervention I meant that I do not want an epidural, I do not want to be stuck in bed the entire time so that was something I was asking about. I wanted a hospital that could step in if needed for emergencies but at the same time leave me be if I have no problems. I also wanted to make sure the hospital has a NICU, if something came up I did not want to be separated from my newborn while they send her to another hospital better set up.

You two just need to figure out what it is that she wants. I'm sorry if I'm confusing you even more. It is very hard to figure things out at first.

[TracyTN 237]

Hmm. My wife doesn't have a preference for high or low intervention, she wants a place that will intervene when necessary and will err on the side of caution. Whether the teaching hospital fits that better than the non-teaching, I can't tell. I don't really understand this at all.

I would think any hospital worth it's salt would do that.

I would schedule a tour of the birthing facilities at both hospitals and go with whichever one you are most comfortable with. It was nice of your OB to give her feedback, but I would still do whatever is right for you and I'm sure she will work with it.

[tnh9479 1]

I guess it's all a matter of how confident you feel in your OB's opinion. Mine had privileges at 3 hospitals. Two were close. Only one had a NICU, level 3 at that. So...it was a no-brainer due to twins and other issues.

We have had a roller coaster ride lately. Zak was chewing on a straight pin Thursday night. When I tried to get it from him, he seemed to swallow it and then vomit. So...I took him up the ER. Luckily, nothing was seen. Hana fell at my mom's house yesterday and was complaining about her arm. So, she went to the peds today. Luckily they think she just bruised it. I have two way too active toddlers!

[chnst 6]

OK I have a question. At a recent OB visit my wifes OB tried to convince her to not deliver at the hospital she was planning to deliver at. The OB prefers a different hospital. During the conversation that followed, these were the points raised, in no particular order.

I: OB: Teaching hospitals suck because I have less control. They have more rigid procedures and policies which I can not override. They are overly aggressive in terms of testing and that can result in unnecessary cost and unnecessary frustration.

Wife: Can these tests hurt the baby?

OB: No, not usually.

Me: So what's the problem assuming I don't mind paying extra?

OB: It's just aggravating! You might have medical students watching if you deliver during rounds. I might even have to let the residents participate in surgery, it's a teaching hospital I can't say no.

II. Me: Which hospital do you live close to?

OB: The non-teaching hospital but that's not a problem.

Me: We live near the teaching hospital

OB: OK but when it's time to go to the hospital you have 6-8 hours to get there so don't worry about that.

III. OB: Teaching hospitals are crowded and the staff aren't as good.

Wife: I've heard the exact opposite from friends who have delivered at both hospitals.

OB: Well everyone has an opinion.

What are your thoughts on these points?

omg, if this is how the conversation went then PLEASE take your wife and run! preferrable to the teaching hospital, ask for a tour and while you are there ask one of the nurses which OB or midwife they would personally recommend. This sounds like an OB who'd prefer to deliver your child when and where its convenient to him i.e. a quick c-section at 8am on monday rather than having to "deal" with your wife for several hours at 3am. Not a good provider if you ask me!!

I had 4 students watch both of my deliveries, and both times I was asked for my permission at both hospitals. I actually feel like the OB or midwife will do a way better job if there are students present because they feel like they have to do it "right". At the very least your emergency equipment will be triple checked, there are extra hands to take pictures, run for more towels or ice chips and everyone there will have actually used the hand sanitizer. However it's your patient right to refuse students and where I work most deliveries are done without students because students don't show up on a saturday night shift. Also a student would never be allowed to do more than watching and getting supplies. I'm a pretty modest person but I can tell ya, once you're on the delivery bed that goes out the window, all you really care about is to get this baby out asap with as little damage as possible. haha.

[Jenn! 918]

I would ask your OB specifically which tests and procedures she cannot override, under what circumstances does she wish she could override them and why. Then come back and we'll let you know what we think. It's very hard to generalize about teaching vs. non-teaching hospital, I think. I delivered at a teaching hospital, the best in the country maybe, with a bigwig high-risk OB. They pushed a C on me like no one's business and I saw my doctor for about 2 minutes before I was even in full labor.

[Staashi 371]

omg, if this is how the conversation went then PLEASE take your wife and run! preferrable to the teaching hospital, ask for a tour and while you are there ask one of the nurses which OB or midwife they would personally recommend. This sounds like an OB who'd prefer to deliver your child when and where its convenient to him i.e. a quick c-section at 8am on monday rather than having to "deal" with your wife for several hours at 3am. Not a good provider if you ask me!!

I had 4 students watch both of my deliveries, and both times I was asked for my permission at both hospitals. I actually feel like the OB or midwife will do a way better job if there are students present because they feel like they have to do it "right". At the very least your emergency equipment will be triple checked, there are extra hands to take pictures, run for more towels or ice chips and everyone there will have actually used the hand sanitizer. However it's your patient right to refuse students and where I work most deliveries are done without students because students don't show up on a saturday night shift. Also a student would never be allowed to do more than watching and getting supplies. I'm a pretty modest person but I can tell ya, once you're on the delivery bed that goes out the window, all you really care about is to get this baby out asap with as little damage as possible. haha.

I'm with you Steffi. All of these ob's justifications are very weak. Also, by the time the baby comes, you've had so many different people check you out that modesty is a priviledge only enjoyed at home.

[^_^ 5,021]

I would ask your OB specifically which tests and procedures she cannot override, under what circumstances does she wish she could override them and why. Then come back and we'll let you know what we think.

Good questions. I will ask next time. My wife doesn't like it when I ask too many q's, she thinks I am rude.

[nane1104 146]

OK I have a question. At a recent OB visit my wifes OB tried to convince her to not deliver at the hospital she was planning to deliver at. The OB prefers a different hospital. During the conversation that followed, these were the points raised, in no particular order.

I: OB: Teaching hospitals suck because I have less control. They have more rigid procedures and policies which I can not override. They are overly aggressive in terms of testing and that can result in unnecessary cost and unnecessary frustration.

Wife: Can these tests hurt the baby?

OB: No, not usually.

Me: So what's the problem assuming I don't mind paying extra?

OB: It's just aggravating! You might have medical students watching if you deliver during rounds. I might even have to let the residents participate in surgery, it's a teaching hospital I can't say no.

II. Me: Which hospital do you live close to?

OB: The non-teaching hospital but that's not a problem.

Me: We live near the teaching hospital

OB: OK but when it's time to go to the hospital you have 6-8 hours to get there so don't worry about that.

III. OB: Teaching hospitals are crowded and the staff aren't as good.

Wife: I've heard the exact opposite from friends who have delivered at both hospitals.

OB: Well everyone has an opinion.

What are your thoughts on these points?

It sounds to me like there are other reasons why he/she would like you to go to the non teaching hospital, reasons he/she would rather not discuss with you. Is he getting paid more at the other hospital maybe?

Anyway, I have to agree that teaching hospitals can be a pain in the butt sometimes. Indeed, you could have a group of students walk in and out while your wife is in labor.

I'd say, if you prefer a calmer invironment, I'd prefer the non teaching hospital but as far as medical expertise, usually teaching hospitals are doing great work.

I'd check out both hospitals in advance, have a tour of the L&D area and the mom and baby ward and ask all questions you might have about the care they offer. For me a big thing was that I wanted a hospital that was breastfeeding friendly, so that might be a factor too.

The choice is yours and if you feel your doc is against that, look for another doctor (that would suck though)

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Good questions. I will ask next time. My wife doesn't like it when I ask too many q's, she thinks I am rude.

You may need to research and make some decisions about the type of birth that you want in order to determine what scenario best fits your needs and wants. Maybe making a birth plan would help and can also be a good way to get the conversation started with your OB in a non-confrontational manner. Here's a birth plan worksheet from babycenter. It's just a sample, you can customize it they way you want. It also has a link to some articles to better understand your options.

Going through your birth plan with your OB (let her know in advance that you'd like to do that, she may need to schedule in some extra time) can help you determine if she is the right doctor for you and what hospital may best fit the birth that you want.

A word of caution: When you are doing your research you will read a lot about drug free/ natural birth and such. This is NOT for everybody and try to keep that in mind when you imagine your ideal birth. On this thread we have some moms that had great experiences doing that, and that is great! - on the flip side I had the birth from hell trying to go natural and would rather be ran over by a truck than to go through that again. Found out some horror stories about it too after my experience. So like I said, not for everybody.

Saludos,

Caro

[Fandango 1,439]

I had my brain surg at a teaching hospital. Because it was such an odd injury, the gallery was full to watch my surg. That was pretty strange, but the doc I needed to do the surg was the chief neurosurg there, and also the head of the neurosurg dept for the hospital. So ya gotta do what you gotta do.

While the surg saved my life, and all is fine with the world, because it was a teaching hospital, the cheif 'spinefellow' wound up closing my incision. It's not nearly as clean or neat as it could have been, and I wound up getting MRSA in the hospital. Not saying I got that because of a sloppy close, but one never knows.

I personally would be cautious with a teaching hospital. To me, it's not really about how many people will view the delivery, but what if she needs a C? Will the doc be opening and closing the incision? Or will it be some resident n00b?

I wouldn't immediately discount the advice from your doc, but of course, you have to make your own choices. I think asking him/her about who would open/close in that scenario would be a good idea.

[chnst 6]

well my totally unbiased objective opinion- the L&D RN is your best friend and advocate,during delivery time and she is the one who will spend the most time with you guys, through the good and the bad therefore I'd go with the hospital that you feel more comfortable with, or compare the 2 for their nursing excellence awards i.e. Magnet status etc. Get a tour in both places, talk to the nursesetc.

Moms: any recommendations on baby bottles? So far I've used the medela bottles that come with the breast pump, but he is eating more than 5oz, so we need to buy bigger bottles. Any suggestions? I'm confused about all the anti-colic stuff etc. I like Doc Browns but they look complicated! Born free are cool too, but I don't want to spend $10 on 1 bottle. Ben was exclusively breastfed, we never used any bottles, we went straight to the sippy cup at 9 months. Im a little clue-less there are so many options!