Fiancee is here in the US, but the table has turned

[aaron2020 11,651]

Im sorry

I just wanted to add that you should make sure you are NEVER alone with her if they are planning on claiming abuse. Even if their attempt to adjust based on VAWA fails, you dont need any false police reports and the drama of having to face that with your child.

Make sure you start documenting each time you speak with her when she referrences this "plan", that way its written down and you wont forget if asked months down the road.

be careful and mostly..im sorry you and your child are going through this.

What would be better than even that is invest in a small digital recorder and record everything she says. Then she has not hope in H E Double hockey sticks.

It's illegal in to record a phone call in California if the unknowing party is not informed that the conversation is being recorded (i.e., you can make a secret recording of a phone conversation). It does not matter where the call originates from. The rule is different in every state.

It is okay to secretly record a conversation if it is face to face.

[Donna A 4]

Call the USCIS and report her and hire a family lawyer for custody. The child is an American and his mother is not American and she is two weeks from loosing her status. File for custody of the child and let ICE deal with the rest. worry about the child.Do not have contact with her.

I completely agree. Since you have physical custody of your child, you need to focus on him. Without a court order, his mother regardless of her status has the same rights that you do. She can remove the child from your home without your permission. Forget about whether she can become a permanent resident or not. She can't without marrying you, and she will soon be out of status and subject to deportation. You need to hire a family lawyer for custody. You need to file a police report that the uncle has made threats against you. In the event that she challenges your petition for custody or makes a claim of abuse, you need to gather evidence of what has transpired to protect your son and yourself. If you have access to her e-mail accounts, save it all to a flash drive and print them all out. Give copies of any information that you gather to your lawyer for safekeeping. Retain a copy for yourself in a safe place where your ex-fiancee cannot get to them (work is a good place).

even if she tries to fight custody for the child, that will take a period of time for us to appear in court. By then, her visa will be expired, and she will be an illegal immigrant. The judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant. Maybe showing up to court as an illegal immigrant is not a good idea?

I completely disagree with your statement that "the judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant." An illegal alien parent has the exact same rights as a USC parent. Being illegal does not mean that the illegal's parental rights are any less than that of the USC parent. The judge will do what is in the best interest of the child. The judge will look at who can provide a stable environment for the child. Immigration status does not matter.

Is it a good idea for an illegal immigrant to show up for court? The court may take an illegal immigrant's status into consideration in determining what is in the best interest of the child. The court is not ICE, so they will not arrest her or hold her because of her illegal status. You could inform ICE that your ex-fiancee may be at a certain place at a certain time and they can act. However, the court may take this into consideration in adjudicating the custody dispute.

Go see a competent family lawyer.

Here are the reasons why i think i can win this fight to keep the child.

1: I have a decent job

2: I have decent place to live

3: I am a USC and never abandoned my child

4: I don't smoke, or doing any drugs.

On the fiancee's side

1: She doesn't work

2: She's supposed to married me within 90 days as she signed the paperwork, but refused to do so

3: Overstay her visa, violated immigration laws.

4: Cannot support the child

The judge might not take immigration laws into his own hands, but he might take it into consideration, therefore i doubt i will lose this fight

she doesnt have to work....how many woman have kids with no job supporting their kids on child support or welfare? she has an uncle here who is willing to fight to keep her here so im sure he will provide a rent free place for her and her child to live at. she doesnt have to be married to u either to have custody of her child....how many single moms are in this country?

[westernboi 0]

Call the USCIS and report her and hire a family lawyer for custody. The child is an American and his mother is not American and she is two weeks from loosing her status. File for custody of the child and let ICE deal with the rest. worry about the child.Do not have contact with her.

I completely agree. Since you have physical custody of your child, you need to focus on him. Without a court order, his mother regardless of her status has the same rights that you do. She can remove the child from your home without your permission. Forget about whether she can become a permanent resident or not. She can't without marrying you, and she will soon be out of status and subject to deportation. You need to hire a family lawyer for custody. You need to file a police report that the uncle has made threats against you. In the event that she challenges your petition for custody or makes a claim of abuse, you need to gather evidence of what has transpired to protect your son and yourself. If you have access to her e-mail accounts, save it all to a flash drive and print them all out. Give copies of any information that you gather to your lawyer for safekeeping. Retain a copy for yourself in a safe place where your ex-fiancee cannot get to them (work is a good place).

even if she tries to fight custody for the child, that will take a period of time for us to appear in court. By then, her visa will be expired, and she will be an illegal immigrant. The judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant. Maybe showing up to court as an illegal immigrant is not a good idea?

I completely disagree with your statement that "the judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant." An illegal alien parent has the exact same rights as a USC parent. Being illegal does not mean that the illegal's parental rights are any less than that of the USC parent. The judge will do what is in the best interest of the child. The judge will look at who can provide a stable environment for the child. Immigration status does not matter.

Is it a good idea for an illegal immigrant to show up for court? The court may take an illegal immigrant's status into consideration in determining what is in the best interest of the child. The court is not ICE, so they will not arrest her or hold her because of her illegal status. You could inform ICE that your ex-fiancee may be at a certain place at a certain time and they can act. However, the court may take this into consideration in adjudicating the custody dispute.

Go see a competent family lawyer.

Here are the reasons why i think i can win this fight to keep the child.

1: I have a decent job

2: I have decent place to live

3: I am a USC and never abandoned my child

4: I don't smoke, or doing any drugs.

On the fiancee's side

1: She doesn't work

2: She's supposed to married me within 90 days as she signed the paperwork, but refused to do so

3: Overstay her visa, violated immigration laws.

4: Cannot support the child

The judge might not take immigration laws into his own hands, but he might take it into consideration, therefore i doubt i will lose this fight

she doesnt have to work....how many woman have kids with no job supporting their kids on child support or welfare? she has an uncle here who is willing to fight to keep her here so im sure he will provide a rent free place for her and her child to live at. she doesnt have to be married to u either to have custody of her child....how many single moms are in this country?

She came here on a k-1 visa, she has 90 days to married me or return home. You said she can stay here without me? you just proved to everyone that you don't have any knowledge what so ever

Edited September 21, 2009 by westernboi

[NutMagnet 2]

she has an uncle here who is willing to fight to keep her here so im sure he will provide a rent free place for her and her child to live at.

Uncle is a known Genius in aiding and abetting his fellow countrymen to milk the system. He has probably covered his carpeting with dirt and is growing vegetable plants in the extra bedroom of his subsidized housing. The other 27 people that live there share the master bedroom, hallway, bathtub, and living room, so the only space for Ms. Fraudster is the battered woman's shelter. There she can earn VAWA points by staying there and then the over helpful advocates, supported by the Federal government will help her file an Order For Protection to keep their shop on the dole and try to build a case against the OP.

I believe Uncle F*cker thinks that because the child is a US Citizen, his niece will have some staying power. I don't know about the laws when children are involved, but I think they need to be born in the USA for the mother to be able to stay and raise them until they reach legal age.

There was a situation here in SoCal where a pregnant Mexican woman in labour was squeezing herself through the cyclone fence along the Mexico/USA border. Apparently the laws are such that if the child is born in the USA, the mother is allowed to stay and raise it until the child reaches maturity. At least one-half or more of the mother needs to be physically across the USA border when giving birth to qualify.

Stuck in a hole like Winnie the Pooh at Eeyore's house after consuming too much huney, paramedics pulled her through the fence on the US side and she blew her baby towards the direction of the Rio Grande. Baby born in America, 18 years of welfare for the mother and child, have a kid prior to every 5 years thereafter to avoid working and to keep that extra income coming in.

"how many single moms are in this country?"

I don't know. How many kind and well intending men have suffered utter financial ruin and employability problems due to a smear campaign created by a fraudulent intending immigrant aided by their associates on hard earned tax dollars?

The best advice seems to come from ex-pats residing overseas. That is, wait until you retire and move to the country before getting involved with a foreign girl. People from developing countries just do not adjust well here in the USA and have been biased by false ideas of unlimited wealth and unlimited daily spending, thanks in large to to the illusion that the media and Hollywood have displayed. Nobody wants to watch a movie that shows the reality of budgeting expenses and building savings.

I'm jumping off the soap box now.

NM

[Tahoma 2,291]

Call the USCIS and report her and hire a family lawyer for custody. The child is an American and his mother is not American and she is two weeks from loosing her status. File for custody of the child and let ICE deal with the rest. worry about the child.Do not have contact with her.

I completely agree. Since you have physical custody of your child, you need to focus on him. Without a court order, his mother regardless of her status has the same rights that you do. She can remove the child from your home without your permission. Forget about whether she can become a permanent resident or not. She can't without marrying you, and she will soon be out of status and subject to deportation. You need to hire a family lawyer for custody. You need to file a police report that the uncle has made threats against you. In the event that she challenges your petition for custody or makes a claim of abuse, you need to gather evidence of what has transpired to protect your son and yourself. If you have access to her e-mail accounts, save it all to a flash drive and print them all out. Give copies of any information that you gather to your lawyer for safekeeping. Retain a copy for yourself in a safe place where your ex-fiancee cannot get to them (work is a good place).

even if she tries to fight custody for the child, that will take a period of time for us to appear in court. By then, her visa will be expired, and she will be an illegal immigrant. The judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant. Maybe showing up to court as an illegal immigrant is not a good idea?

I completely disagree with your statement that "the judge will not hand the USC child to an illegal immigrant." An illegal alien parent has the exact same rights as a USC parent. Being illegal does not mean that the illegal's parental rights are any less than that of the USC parent. The judge will do what is in the best interest of the child. The judge will look at who can provide a stable environment for the child. Immigration status does not matter.

Is it a good idea for an illegal immigrant to show up for court? The court may take an illegal immigrant's status into consideration in determining what is in the best interest of the child. The court is not ICE, so they will not arrest her or hold her because of her illegal status. You could inform ICE that your ex-fiancee may be at a certain place at a certain time and they can act. However, the court may take this into consideration in adjudicating the custody dispute.

Go see a competent family lawyer.

Here are the reasons why i think i can win this fight to keep the child.

1: I have a decent job

2: I have decent place to live

3: I am a USC and never abandoned my child

4: I don't smoke, or doing any drugs.

On the fiancee's side

1: She doesn't work

2: She's supposed to married me within 90 days as she signed the paperwork, but refused to do so

3: Overstay her visa, violated immigration laws.

4: Cannot support the child

The judge might not take immigration laws into his own hands, but he might take it into consideration, therefore i doubt i will lose this fight

she doesnt have to work....how many woman have kids with no job supporting their kids on child support or welfare? she has an uncle here who is willing to fight to keep her here so im sure he will provide a rent free place for her and her child to live at. she doesnt have to be married to u either to have custody of her child....how many single moms are in this country?

She came here on a k-1 visa, she has 90 days to married me or return home. You said she can stay here without me? you just proved to everyone that you don't have any knowledge what so ever

Westernboi...I was reading between the lines of Donna A's posting....

...It is possible for the mother to win custody before she is eventually deported. If she wins custody, she and your child could simply vanish into the underground Vietnamese community in the U.S. in order to avoid being deported. Her uncle would likely help her do just that.

Please get a good attorney, and please follow everyone's advice about reporting and documenting everything. You may have the fight of your life on your hands. Be ready for it...for your child's sake.

[*JG* 2]

I'm so sorry.

A friend of mine has been using a mini recorder connected to his cell phone whenever his soon to be ex-wife has called and in his pocket when he drops off his kids. No one believed she was threatening until they heard it for themselves. He's also begun taking pictures of important evidence.

Most won't hold up in court; but it is helpful for your lawyer.

Please protect yourself.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

she doesnt have to work....how many woman have kids with no job supporting their kids on child support or welfare? she has an uncle here who is willing to fight to keep her here so im sure he will provide a rent free place for her and her child to live at. she doesnt have to be married to u either to have custody of her child....how many single moms are in this country?

She came here on a k-1 visa, she has 90 days to married me or return home. You said she can stay here without me? you just proved to everyone that you don't have any knowledge what so ever

I think she's saying that the family court judge may not even consider her immigration status. I think she's probably correct. The courts probably won't even let you bring it up, since it's not relevant to the matter being adjudicated.

I'm not a family law attorney, but I've dealt with the family courts for several years during my divorce in California. During that time, I spent a LOT of time reading about family law. The scenario I imagine will be that the court will first require you to establish paternity. That's usually pretty easy in California, as long as she doesn't dispute that you're the father.

Once paternity is established, then custody can be considered. California courts usually defer to Family Court Services for this. FCS will assign a mediator, who will meet with you and your child's mother to discuss how custody should be arranged. Sole custody is not commonly granted solely on the basis of financial ability. The mediator will usually only recommend sole custody if one parent is physically incapable of caring for the child, or poses a danger to the child. If the only differential factor is finances, then FCS will usually recommend shared custody, and the courts will level the financial playing field by ordering the parent with income to pay child support to the parent without income. FCS doesn't make a judgment on custody - they merely make a recommendation to the judge, but the judge usually follows their recommendation.

Get a family law attorney.

I'm so sorry.

A friend of mine has been using a mini recorder connected to his cell phone whenever his soon to be ex-wife has called and in his pocket when he drops off his kids. No one believed she was threatening until they heard it for themselves. He's also begun taking pictures of important evidence.

Most won't hold up in court; but it is helpful for your lawyer.

Please protect yourself.

Not good advice in the OP's case. California has an "all parties" law, which requires all parties in a conversation to consent to the conversation being recorded. There are exceptions, such as when one party is being threatened with extortion, kidnapping, or crimes of violence. Otherwise, it is a crime to record the conversation - even if only for your attorney.

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

I don't know much about family related law but is it possible to filibuster the custody battle until after deportation proceedings are well underway?

[aaron2020 11,651]

she doesnt have to work....how many woman have kids with no job supporting their kids on child support or welfare? she has an uncle here who is willing to fight to keep her here so im sure he will provide a rent free place for her and her child to live at. she doesnt have to be married to u either to have custody of her child....how many single moms are in this country?

She came here on a k-1 visa, she has 90 days to married me or return home. You said she can stay here without me? you just proved to everyone that you don't have any knowledge what so ever

I think she's saying that the family court judge may not even consider her immigration status. I think she's probably correct. The courts probably won't even let you bring it up, since it's not relevant to the matter being adjudicated.

I'm not a family law attorney, but I've dealt with the family courts for several years during my divorce in California. During that time, I spent a LOT of time reading about family law. The scenario I imagine will be that the court will first require you to establish paternity. That's usually pretty easy in California, as long as she doesn't dispute that you're the father.

Once paternity is established, then custody can be considered. California courts usually defer to Family Court Services for this. FCS will assign a mediator, who will meet with you and your child's mother to discuss how custody should be arranged. Sole custody is not commonly granted solely on the basis of financial ability. The mediator will usually only recommend sole custody if one parent is physically incapable of caring for the child, or poses a danger to the child. If the only differential factor is finances, then FCS will usually recommend shared custody, and the courts will level the financial playing field by ordering the parent with income to pay child support to the parent without income. FCS doesn't make a judgment on custody - they merely make a recommendation to the judge, but the judge usually follows their recommendation.

Get a family law attorney.

I'm so sorry.

A friend of mine has been using a mini recorder connected to his cell phone whenever his soon to be ex-wife has called and in his pocket when he drops off his kids. No one believed she was threatening until they heard it for themselves. He's also begun taking pictures of important evidence.

Most won't hold up in court; but it is helpful for your lawyer.

Please protect yourself.

Not good advice in the OP's case. California has an "all parties" law, which requires all parties in a conversation to consent to the conversation being recorded. There are exceptions, such as when one party is being threatened with extortion, kidnapping, or crimes of violence. Otherwise, it is a crime to record the conversation - even if only for your attorney.

The crime is recording the phone call without consent from all parties. It does not matter what purpose it is being used for. The attorney cannot use the information as it was obtained illegally. Use of the recordings by the lawyer could subject the attorney to disciplinary action from the state bar. No competent attorney would use these recordings for fear of disciplinary action because using them as leverage would be illegal.

To *JG*, your friend is committing a crime each time he records a phone call with his ex. His attorney cannot use the information without risk to the attorney. Competent opposing counsel would not only ask that the information be quash in any action, but can report your friend and his attorney to the local prosecutor and the court .

-----------------------

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/cal...a-recording-law

California Wiretapping Law

California's wiretapping law is a "two-party consent" law. California makes it a crime to record or eavesdrop on any confidential communication, including a private conversation or telephone call, without the consent of all parties to the conversation. See Cal. Penal Code § 632. The statute applies to "confidential communications" -- i.e., conversations in which the participants have an expectation of privacy. A California court has ruled that this statute applies to the use of hidden video cameras to record conversations as well. See California v. Gibbons, 215 Cal. App. 3d 1204 (1989). If you are operating in California, you should always get the consent of all parties before recording any conversation that common sense tells you might be "private" or "confidential." In addition to subjecting you to criminal prosecution, violating the California wiretapping law can expose you to a civil lawsuit for damages by an injured party. See Cal. Penal Code § 637.2.

Conversations that occur in a public space or in an area where the parties do not have any expectation of privacy are not covered by the wiretapping statute. Therefore, you generally are free to record a conversation happening between people in a public place, such as a street, a park, or on the steps of a courthouse, even without consent. For example, a California court has upheld a television network's right to use a hidden camera to videotape a conversation that took place during a business lunch on an outdoor patio of a public restaurant. See Wilkins v. NBC, Inc., 71 Cal. App. 4th 1066 (1999). The court held that because the information being recorded was not secret or confidential, the statute was not violated, and the network was free to videotape.

[Carlawarla 1]

All this is good information, but JG did not say that her friend was in California so that law wouldn't apply if that was the case.

[SuperDuper! 230]

All this is good information, but JG did not say that her friend was in California so that law wouldn't apply if that was the case.

But you omitted that perhaps CA law is representative of the majority of states in the union. I don't personally know as I am not an atty, nor do I play one on TV. Perhaps one can give us some general guidelines what to expect coast-to-coast when evesdropping and secretly recording people.

[Rings 10]

Got it.

State Law: Recording

Each state has its own wiretapping statute and its own rule on how many parties need to consent to the recording of a phone call or conversation in order to make it lawful. State law also varies on whether or not (and under what circumstances) you are permitted to use recording devices in public meetings and court hearings. Choose your state from the list below for state-specific information on recording laws.

California Recording Law

District of Columbia Recording Law

Florida Recording Law

Georgia Recording Law

Illinois Recording Law

Indiana Recording Law

Massachusetts Recording Law

Michigan Recording Law

New Jersey Recording Law

New York Recording Law

North Carolina Recording Law

Ohio Recording Law

Pennsylvania Recording Law

Texas Recording Law

Virginia Recording Law

Washington Recording Law

Edited September 22, 2009 by Rings

[Rings 10]

Sorry let me get the links *sigh* I annoy myself

[Rings 10]

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/cal...a-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/dis...a-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/flo...a-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/georgia-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/ill...s-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/ind...a-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/mas...s-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/mic...n-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/new...y-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/new...k-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/nor...a-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/ohi...o-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/pen...a-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/tex...s-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/vir...a-recording-law

http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/was...n-recording-law

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

To comply with the recording laws of every state in the union simply start your conversation with, "I'm notifying you now that I may record this phone conversation, by continuing to speak with me you are consenting to such recording." It's standard script that covers express consent given to the recording even in the scrictest of states, basically the only way the other party is refusing consent to the recording is by ending the conversation immediately.

I'm the senior IT guy at a national call center, we deal with sensitive personal information and record every single call we take (thousands each day), our phone system presents a recorded notification before the caller has a chance to speak with a life person, their only option to not consent is to hang-up.

If you do this and the person is hot-headed enough they may disregard you statement but in the form I've posted it doesn't require that they specifically agree as you've told them that they are in fact agreeing simply by continuing to speak with you. It they are calmer they might hang-up a few times before they get complacient and ingnore your notice or better yet just assume you're full of BS and then continue on. BTW, even if they say "I don't consent to this conversation being recorded" it doesn't protect them as you've made consent conditional upon them continuing the conversation, simply remind them that in continuing to speak they are granting consent and said consent remain in effect until they terminate the conversation.

Edited September 22, 2009 by Bob 4 Anna