Must know answer...

[Yodrak 8]

Steven_and_Jinky,

Marriage is merely an arrangement in any case, a legal arrangement, no matter what the foundation is.

In the modern western world the foundation is often love, because we can afford it (not speaking financially, although that may be part of it). And love doesn't prove to be a firm enough foundation some 50% of the time.

In the past, and in many parts of the world today, the foundation is more likely to be survival in one form or another.

Putting it in the context of this web site - immigration - recognize that any foundation is acceptable as long as it's not the intent to evade US immigration laws.

So what's my point? You are not specifically talking about marriage. You are specifically talking about a relationship based on love (whether married or not).

Yodrak

Robert, I was specifically talking about a marriage and in that case, I'd say that without a foundation of love, the relationship (marriage) is merely an arrangement.

Edited July 15, 2006 by Yodrak

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Steven_and_Jinky,

Marriage is merely an arrangement in any case, a legal arrangement, no matter what the foundation is.

In the modern western world the foundation is often love, because we can afford it (not speaking financially, although that may be part of it). And love doesn't prove to be a firm enough foundation some 50% of the time.

In the past, and in many parts of the world today, the foundation is more likely to be survival in one form or another.

Putting it in the context of this web site - immigration - recognize that any foundation is acceptable as long as it's not the intent to evade US immigration laws.

So what's my point? You are not specifically talking about marriage. You are specifically talking about a relationship based on love (whether married or not).

Yodrak

Robert, I was specifically talking about a marriage and in that case, I'd say that without a foundation of love, the relationship (marriage) is merely an arrangement.

I understand, however, the modern concept of a marriage founded on love is no less valid because of that history and I'd go as far as to say that love is the ultimate solution for a meaningful marriage.

...changes in marriage, and our expectations of marriage, have to do with evolutionary changes in ourselves as a culture and as a species.*

The possibilities within a marriage is that it helps us claim our original selves through the unconditional love of our spouse. We all have lost parts of ourselves from our first primary relationships (mom and dad) and through socialization. Whether we are aware of it or not, inevitably we are drawn to a mate who will help us to become whole and to heal the wounds of childhood.

The modern romantic marriage is an evolutionary gift to the psyche, with unique potential for healing our childhood wounds and fascilitating our spiritual growth.... Marriage itself, properly understood, is the therapy we need to grow and become whole, to return to our innate joyful state....The ingredients necessary for full growth and healing --attention, concentration, security, time, deepest intimacy, and the full mirroring of ourselves through our partner -- are possible only in marriage. The elements that activate the chemistry of growth --the tension of complementary character defenses, symetrical wounds, unconscious attraction-- appear only in marriage....We cannot heal ourselves, and we cannot heal in open-ended, precarious relationships. *

from Keeping The Love You Find by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.

[BelwinMills 0]

men are sexual pigs and I have a hard time watching 2 straight people togther. 2 of the same sex togther not for me ewwwww or my SO

[rebeccajo 14]

Steven_and_Jinky, I really like you. You seem like a nice guy. But you're kinda weirding me out here cause it's like your trying to save all of our relationships or something.....?

I happen to agree with you in premise, but the more you bang the drum it looks kind of judgmental. And I occasionally get in trouble for that myself around here - without meaning to - and it ends up making me feel crappy.

So just a heads up and ratchet it down a little ok?

[almaty 19]

sorry i been away from vj awhile..just got my 4 part video series..'lesbians in heat"...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Steven_and_Jinky, I really like you. You seem like a nice guy. But you're kinda weirding me out here cause it's like your trying to save all of our relationships or something.....?

I happen to agree with you in premise, but the more you bang the drum it looks kind of judgmental. And I occasionally get in trouble for that myself around here - without meaning to - and it ends up making me feel crappy.

So just a heads up and ratchet it down a little ok?

Thanks, Rebecca. That's not my intention, but I hear ya.

[aussiewench 10]

Have you ever kicked your hubby out of the bed because you wanted to spend time with your friend, Buzz instead?

Buzz could finish the job off if I was left lacking yes I wouldnt kick him outa bed to do it though

hey isn't that wenchie's son on the left?

[gimygirl 0]

no hiding from this one, lorelle!!!! you know how long i've been waiting to use that!?!?!

[dalegg 143]

You read the topic description..what is it about two women going at it in a sexual way that attracts men?

Becuae that's totally hot

And why is it so tabboo then for a woman to want two men????

Because that would be gay.

[gimygirl 0]

And why is it so tabboo then for a woman to want two men????

Because that would be gay.

just brilliant!!

[aussiewench 10]

Because that would be gay.

HAHAHAHAH thats funny

Monique

I almost wet me knickers laughin when I seen that

Edited July 15, 2006 by aussiewench

[*Robert* 2]

sorry i been away from vj awhile..just got my 4 part video series..'lesbians in heat"...

ROFLMAO!!!

Brother Dean, can I please borrow that when you're done?!

[babybunny 2]

Because that would be gay.

HAHAHAHAH thats funny

Monique

I almost wet me knickers laughin when I seen that

[gimygirl 0]

sorry i been away from vj awhile..just got my 4 part video series..'lesbians in heat"...

ROFLMAO!!!

Brother Dean, can I please borrow that when you're done?!

make sure they're clean first!!

[arwensun1965 1]

to most of the above