Must know answer...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To me, Ian is the ONLY man that can satisfy me...fullstop. So to twist the original question a bit....where do you draw the line and call it cheating? Is it cheating if the SO knows about it, partakes in it, or just watches??? I don't know what to think. I guess if both parties are ok with it, then it wouldn't be cheating. But then again, could it bite you in the as$ if anything were to happen to the relationship??? So many ways to look at it eh?? lol.

LJ

I know someone (woman) who went along with her husband's wishes and did some swinging. They ended up divorcing. When she told me about it she was crying her eyes out. It was something that she felt a great amount of shame and regret.

[Welshcookie 17]

Marriage is a challenge enough without creating extra ones IMO

[gimygirl 0]

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

To me, Ian is the ONLY man that can satisfy me...fullstop. So to twist the original question a bit....where do you draw the line and call it cheating? Is it cheating if the SO knows about it, partakes in it, or just watches??? I don't know what to think. I guess if both parties are ok with it, then it wouldn't be cheating. But then again, could it bite you in the as$ if anything were to happen to the relationship??? So many ways to look at it eh?? lol.

LJ

I know someone (woman) who went along with her husband's wishes and did some swinging. They ended up divorcing. When she told me about it she was crying her eyes out. It was something that she felt a great amount of shame and regret.

I think...and I am sure that some of you will state your opinion if you think that I am wrong and please by all means do so...If two ppl basically grow up in the same mind set, both have lead the same lifestyle..swinging and such as you call it, I don't think it would cause problems within a marriage because it is what you both believe in. I believe that if two ppl who have gone through their life always willing to try new things and have never had any regrets about anything that they have done...and have been able to keep in mind that it was something they can say that they have tried albeit if they do it again or not ..won't have problems within their marriage if they keep that same frame of mind..but then on the flip side, I also believe that it would be much harder for a couple who have never been anything like the above...even if it is one or the other if that makes sense...to be able to continue a stable marriage in the long run. I could be totally way off base. But I just think that if you as a person haven't gone through life willing to try new things, then all of a sudden meet this incredible person who is willing and opens your eyes to knew things, and you try to change all of a sudden, you are more apt to have have regrets or feel shame which could lead to many insecurities. Does any of what I have said make sense LOL?? (I know what I want to say but sometims have a hard time getting it across to ppl.) But bottom line, does what I said amount to any truth??

LJ

[aussiewench 10]

3 gals and a guy makes for a great night..... been there done that, old hat. Hubby not interested....which I like....so the closest we will ever get to girl on girl is on a screen. Turns us both on me thinks Ive never been into the guys together, but each to their own.

Edited July 14, 2006 by aussiewench

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

3 gals and a guy makes for a great night..... been there done that, old hat. Hubby not interested....which I like....so the closest we will ever get to girl on girl is on a screen. Turns us both on me thinks Ive never been into the guys together, but each to their own.

I KIN LOVE YOU AUSSIEWENCH pmsl...always lurking aren't ya..pmsl..I just don't think I could ever be interested in two guys at the same time personally...Someone earlier on stated it just right..I would need a wheelchair..and tbh that scares the shite out of me...I mean sex is suppose to be fun BUT NOT CAUSE INJURY lol..in the physical sense / and or mental sense as well..But another woman? HMMMMMMM....I do have some secrets ya know lol...But that would be another OT thread lol..

LJ

PS...and like I also said earlier...Ian is the only man for me...he just does it for me what can I say?? He is my Raul...GWENNIE KNOWS what I am on about hehe..~

Edited July 14, 2006 by Laura_and_IanM

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To me, Ian is the ONLY man that can satisfy me...fullstop. So to twist the original question a bit....where do you draw the line and call it cheating? Is it cheating if the SO knows about it, partakes in it, or just watches??? I don't know what to think. I guess if both parties are ok with it, then it wouldn't be cheating. But then again, could it bite you in the as$ if anything were to happen to the relationship??? So many ways to look at it eh?? lol.

LJ

I know someone (woman) who went along with her husband's wishes and did some swinging. They ended up divorcing. When she told me about it she was crying her eyes out. It was something that she felt a great amount of shame and regret.

I think...and I am sure that some of you will state your opinion if you think that I am wrong and please by all means do so...If two ppl basically grow up in the same mind set, both have lead the same lifestyle..swinging and such as you call it, I don't think it would cause problems within a marriage because it is what you both believe in. I believe that if two ppl who have gone through their life always willing to try new things and have never had any regrets about anything that they have done...and have been able to keep in mind that it was something they can say that they have tried albeit if they do it again or not ..won't have problems within their marriage if they keep that same frame of mind..but then on the flip side, I also believe that it would be much harder for a couple who have never been anything like the above...even if it is one or the other if that makes sense...to be able to continue a stable marriage in the long run. I could be totally way off base. But I just think that if you as a person haven't gone through life willing to try new things, then all of a sudden meet this incredible person who is willing and opens your eyes to knew things, and you try to change all of a sudden, you are more apt to have have regrets or feel shame which could lead to many insecurities. Does any of what I have said make sense LOL?? (I know what I want to say but sometims have a hard time getting it across to ppl.) But bottom line, does what I said amount to any truth??

LJ

I think to really achieve mature love, it takes a concentrated effort of two people's total monogomous love and devotion. I just don't see how anyone can have sex outside of love (I mean I know it happens, but once you've tasted real love making - pure physical sex leaves the mouth dry). We're emotional beings and our pursuit of connecting with other humans is emotionally driven. Having sex for sex sake is contrary to that. I suppose some people just never reach mature love so perhaps that kind of open relationship works for them. I think there's something noble in choosing to make love to only one person for a lifetime.

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Either way it's sick to me. LOL. And if my fiancé even tried I would be mad.

[almaty 19]

3 gals and a guy makes for a great night..... been there done that, old hat. Hubby not interested....which I like....so the closest we will ever get to girl on girl is on a screen. Turns us both on me thinks Ive never been into the guys together, but each to their own.

i sure one of them got a spanking..

[Welshcookie 17]

3 gals and a guy makes for a great night..... been there done that, old hat. Hubby not interested....which I like....so the closest we will ever get to girl on girl is on a screen. Turns us both on me thinks Ive never been into the guys together, but each to their own.

i sure one of them got a spanking..

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

To me, Ian is the ONLY man that can satisfy me...fullstop. So to twist the original question a bit....where do you draw the line and call it cheating? Is it cheating if the SO knows about it, partakes in it, or just watches??? I don't know what to think. I guess if both parties are ok with it, then it wouldn't be cheating. But then again, could it bite you in the as$ if anything were to happen to the relationship??? So many ways to look at it eh?? lol.

LJ

I know someone (woman) who went along with her husband's wishes and did some swinging. They ended up divorcing. When she told me about it she was crying her eyes out. It was something that she felt a great amount of shame and regret.

I think...and I am sure that some of you will state your opinion if you think that I am wrong and please by all means do so...If two ppl basically grow up in the same mind set, both have lead the same lifestyle..swinging and such as you call it, I don't think it would cause problems within a marriage because it is what you both believe in. I believe that if two ppl who have gone through their life always willing to try new things and have never had any regrets about anything that they have done...and have been able to keep in mind that it was something they can say that they have tried albeit if they do it again or not ..won't have problems within their marriage if they keep that same frame of mind..but then on the flip side, I also believe that it would be much harder for a couple who have never been anything like the above...even if it is one or the other if that makes sense...to be able to continue a stable marriage in the long run. I could be totally way off base. But I just think that if you as a person haven't gone through life willing to try new things, then all of a sudden meet this incredible person who is willing and opens your eyes to knew things, and you try to change all of a sudden, you are more apt to have have regrets or feel shame which could lead to many insecurities. Does any of what I have said make sense LOL?? (I know what I want to say but sometims have a hard time getting it across to ppl.) But bottom line, does what I said amount to any truth??

LJ

I think to really achieve mature love, it takes a concentrated effort of two people's total monogomous love and devotion. I just don't see how anyone can have sex outside of love (I mean I know it happens, but once you've tasted real love making - pure physical sex leaves the mouth dry). We're emotional beings and our pursuit of connecting with other humans is emotionally driven. Having sex for sex sake is contrary to that. I suppose some people just never reach mature love so perhaps that kind of open relationship works for them. I think there's something noble in choosing to make love to only one person for a lifetime.

Ok the latter part of your comment I think is stepping a bit over the line. I am saying this without wanting or trying to start an arugement. To say that some ppl never reach mature love just because they believe in threesomes or what have you is a blanket statement to make. No one has the ability to say whether one person can reach mature love over the next. I undertand what you are saying before that comment...and I can understand why you would feel that way if you HAVEN'T tried it or ever believed in it...I love Ian with all my heart and soul, just because him or I or both would be willing to add another girl to the mix at some point doesn't mean we don't have mature love(and I am not saying that we would either and have been saying that all along). To each is own...but please...don't EVER question whether or not someone's love is mature or not...especially when you are not around the couple to witness it or feel the same way they feel if you know what I mean. TO me that is way out of order to make such a comment..It would be like me turning to you and saying that your love isn't mature for your comment about making your wife say she won't drink when she goes out with friends...mature love...you trust the other no matter what...right???

LJ

[*Robert* 2]

3 gals and a guy makes for a great night..... been there done that, old hat. Hubby not interested....which I like....so the closest we will ever get to girl on girl is on a screen. Turns us both on me thinks Ive never been into the guys together, but each to their own.

i sure one of them got a spanking..

i wonder if she kept any photographic evidence?!!!

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

3 gals and a guy makes for a great night..... been there done that, old hat. Hubby not interested....which I like....so the closest we will ever get to girl on girl is on a screen. Turns us both on me thinks Ive never been into the guys together, but each to their own.

i sure one of them got a spanking..

i wonder if she kept any photographic evidence?!!!

PMSL can you imagine being caught with pics like that at your interview?? How did THOSE get in there?? lmfaoroflpmsl....OMG THE THOUGHT...Ian would KILL KILL KILL me pmsl...

[aussiewench 10]

I think to really achieve mature love, it takes a concentrated effort of two people's total monogomous love and devotion. I just don't see how anyone can have sex outside of love (I mean I know it happens, but once you've tasted real love making - pure physical sex leaves the mouth dry). We're emotional beings and our pursuit of connecting with other humans is emotionally driven. Having sex for sex sake is contrary to that. I suppose some people just never reach mature love so perhaps that kind of open relationship works for them. I think there's something noble in choosing to make love to only one person for a lifetime.

oh I dont know.....I have pure physical sex, sex for sex sake all the time with my buzz friend.

Some couples are able to look at a third person in the mix as an extension, just as one uses vibes etc within their relationship. There is IMO nothing wrong with pure raw sex.....its not always about making love, even between the couple themselves.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Ok the latter part of your comment I think is stepping a bit over the line. I am saying this without wanting or trying to start an arugement. To say that some ppl never reach mature love just because they believe in threesomes or what have you is a blanket statement to make. No one has the ability to say whether one person can reach mature love over the next.

Sorry if that comes out as judgmental. Maybe this better describes what I mean by mature love...

Maturity, in general, is many things. Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture - the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action which will pay off later.

In a love relationship, it means being able to enjoy the instant gratification that comes with the romance of the moment while knowing the best is yet to be and being patient while you watch your love grow. It is knowing that by working together, the state of unconditional love will presence itself in the relationship and will mature with time. It is knowing that you grow into a love relationship. It doesn't happen all at once. Mature love partners seek new ways to help each other grow.

One of the characteristics of infancy is the "I want it now" approach. Grown-up people can wait. And often they don't. Often they allow themselves to slip back into infancy so they can justify rushing into things.

Maturity is the ability to stick with a project or a situation until it is finished. It means doing whatever it takes to make the relationship be one you are proud to be in. The adult who is constantly changing jobs, relationships, and friends, is in a word. . . immature. They cannot stick it out because they have not grown up. Everything seems to turn sour after a while.

http://www.celebratelove.com/mature.htm