Must know answer...

[Sharon 1]

Have you ever kicked your hubby out of the bed because you wanted to spend time with your friend, Buzz instead?

Buzz could finish the job off if I was left lacking yes I wouldnt kick him outa bed to do it though

[Itsmeitsmeitsree! 0]

To me, Ian is the ONLY man that can satisfy me...fullstop. So to twist the original question a bit....where do you draw the line and call it cheating? Is it cheating if the SO knows about it, partakes in it, or just watches??? I don't know what to think. I guess if both parties are ok with it, then it wouldn't be cheating. But then again, could it bite you in the as$ if anything were to happen to the relationship??? So many ways to look at it eh?? lol.

LJ

I know someone (woman) who went along with her husband's wishes and did some swinging. They ended up divorcing. When she told me about it she was crying her eyes out. It was something that she felt a great amount of shame and regret.

I think...and I am sure that some of you will state your opinion if you think that I am wrong and please by all means do so...If two ppl basically grow up in the same mind set, both have lead the same lifestyle..swinging and such as you call it, I don't think it would cause problems within a marriage because it is what you both believe in. I believe that if two ppl who have gone through their life always willing to try new things and have never had any regrets about anything that they have done...and have been able to keep in mind that it was something they can say that they have tried albeit if they do it again or not ..won't have problems within their marriage if they keep that same frame of mind..but then on the flip side, I also believe that it would be much harder for a couple who have never been anything like the above...even if it is one or the other if that makes sense...to be able to continue a stable marriage in the long run. I could be totally way off base. But I just think that if you as a person haven't gone through life willing to try new things, then all of a sudden meet this incredible person who is willing and opens your eyes to knew things, and you try to change all of a sudden, you are more apt to have have regrets or feel shame which could lead to many insecurities. Does any of what I have said make sense LOL?? (I know what I want to say but sometims have a hard time getting it across to ppl.) But bottom line, does what I said amount to any truth??

LJ

I think to really achieve mature love, it takes a concentrated effort of two people's total monogomous love and devotion. I just don't see how anyone can have sex outside of love (I mean I know it happens, but once you've tasted real love making - pure physical sex leaves the mouth dry). We're emotional beings and our pursuit of connecting with other humans is emotionally driven. Having sex for sex sake is contrary to that. I suppose some people just never reach mature love so perhaps that kind of open relationship works for them. I think there's something noble in choosing to make love to only one person for a lifetime.

[Sister Fracas 5]

just amazed at how much people feel they need to share about their private lives with everyone online... honestly, is it to impress?? *shrug*

TMI

[aussiewench 10]

IMO there is no right and wrong when it comes to sex between a couple in a relationship/marriage. Each couple should have their boundaries and each know and share the others boundaries as even a small difference may create issues. A small eg A male that objects to his female partners use of a vibrator.....perfectly ok if they both share that objection.....can create issues within the relationship if the female wishes to use one. It usually comes down to an inadequacy issue on the males part when this arises....'Dont I satisfy her'. Have heard this time and time again from various couples. The same goes for something as natural as oral sex if one or the other objects.

As for the girl on girl fantasy within a marriage/relationship (threesome), it can and will create problems when the boundaries that were set are crossed. A perfect example is my ex marriage. I was curious, it was my fantasy but he made it all about him totally and as I was to find out later after the marriage broke up, he spent a great deal of time being a sleeze in trying to lure other gals. It made me sick to the stomach. The only time it ever happened I was railroaded into it and wasnt even attracted to the girl. He spent more time with her then me....boy was I pissed as he went way past the boundaries that were set I am sharing this to give warning of what can happen and why I would NEVER even contemplate it again within a marriage and why I am so very grateful that my hubby has no interest outside of porn.

I did however have a blast when I wasnt in a relationship.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Steven, where did you get the prescription for those rose colored glasses you wear?! (Or is it a Prozac prescription?!) From reading your posts on various threads, I see you are an idealist, which is admirable, but also come across as almost a little naive. Not a bad thing... just making an observation.

Are you talking about my defense of monogamy and definition of mature love?

[Sharon 1]

All I can say is that each time I click "view new posts" this one is allllways on top.

I like being on top. Not always tho....lol.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

IMO there is no right and wrong when it comes to sex between a couple in a relationship/marriage. Each couple should have their boundaries and each know and share the others boundaries as even a small difference may create issues. A small eg A male that objects to his female partners use of a vibrator.....perfectly ok if they both share that objection.....can create issues within the relationship if the female wishes to use one. It usually comes down to an inadequacy issue on the males part when this arises....'Dont I satisfy her'. Have heard this time and time again from various couples. The same goes for something as natural as oral sex if one or the other objects.

As for the girl on girl fantasy within a marriage/relationship (threesome), it can and will create problems when the boundaries that were set are crossed. A perfect example is my ex marriage. I was curious, it was my fantasy but he made it all about him totally and as I was to find out later after the marriage broke up, he spent a great deal of time being a sleeze in trying to lure other gals. It made me sick to the stomach. The only time it ever happened I was railroaded into it and wasnt even attracted to the girl. He spent more time with her then me....boy was I pissed as he went way past the boundaries that were set I am sharing this to give warning of what can happen and why I would NEVER even contemplate it again within a marriage and why I am so very grateful that my hubby has no interest outside of porn.

I did however have a blast when I wasnt in a relationship.

I agree with you. Each couple has to ask themselves if having a mutually agreed extramarital encounter is going to help the relationship grow. My personal opinion is that it never will based on the premise that we humans are emotional beings and we tend to form emotional attachments. While sex outside of love can exist, the primary relationship's foundation is built on love. Any act outside of love, in my opinion, works against that foundation.

[*Robert* 2]

All I can say is that each time I click "view new posts" this one is allllways on top.

I like being on top. Not always tho....lol.

Sharon... you are a wild woman!!!!

[PlatyPius 5]

I have never understood the obsession with "watching two chicks DO it" It does nothing for me. I think it's my general disgust concerning homosexuality. I don't like seeing it, whether it's two girls or two guys.

[Peter Miami 1]

I do not know but it drives most men crazy!

Peter Miami

[aussiewench 10]

I think it's my general disgust concerning homosexuality.

What harm do they do to you personally? You dont have to watch it or partake in it.

Edited July 14, 2006 by aussiewench

[PlatyPius 5]

I think it's my general disgust concerning homosexuality.

What harm do they do to you personally? You dont have to watch it or partake in it.

I knew someone would jump on that. I should have included the line that I deleted...

"Note that I said *seeing* it. I don't care what people do in their own home."

[rebeccajo 14]

Well, all I know is that EVERY porn film I have ever seen has AT LEAST one girl-on-girl sex scene.....

I'm actually trying to remember a movie that had only one...*hmmm*

Anyways.. the makers of porn know it's hot. I don't think they care why....

Oh! Didya know that the actresses usually get paid less for girlie sex than 'conventional penetration' sex?

Edited July 14, 2006 by rebeccajo

[aussiewench 10]

I think it's my general disgust concerning homosexuality.

What harm do they do to you personally? You dont have to watch it or partake in it.

I knew someone would jump on that. I should have included the line that I deleted...

"Note that I said *seeing* it. I don't care what people do in their own home."

ahhhhhhhh but you did say general disgust concerning homosexuality

And yep, I and others likeminded will jump on it

[Linababe 0]

Linababe,

Please fill in your timeline for this fantasy so that we can help answer your questions about it and perhaps even calculate when it will come to pass.

Yodrak

I would love to have 2 men and basically watch - umm but then again i guess its fantasy as I dont think I will ever be in that situation ...

Yodrak youre too funny lol