divorce and pending case - complicated

[hellonew 0]

To the OP:

Leave the country and have your ex bring u back. Thats the cheapest route! whatever u do, good luck!

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Not being able to contact your current spouse adds another dimension into the mix. You say your application to adjust status is pending, but how do you know that? Is it possible your husband might withdraw his support of your application? In which case you don't have a case pending and you would be out of status effective the date your F-1 expired. What reason do you believe your husband had of picking up and leaving without leaving a means for you to contact him? Is he employed?

I currently reside in the US, while my husband and I are waiting for the i-130 and i-485 (adjusting from f-1) to be approved. Our interview should approximately be in October 2009. However, our marriage has been very rocky, since my husband started drinking again and started being emotionally abusive and even physically abusive once (I didn't go to police, so i don't have proof). The marriage is/was "real", so it was hard to give up on him, so I waited, and waited, and prayed and hoped that he would go back to the amazing man that I fell in love with and married. At times he would get better and things would be great, but other times he just wouldn't be here for me when I really needed him. For example, he left me at our rental house when my original F-1 work permit expired, and I was left without a job or a driver's license (waiting for i765 to be approved) while he went across country. He changed his phone number, and I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks.

On the other hand, my ex-boyfriend and my good friend helped me thru all of this and was there for me thru my marriage disaster, and I can't deny that sparks have come back. We've been having a very intense relationship and he proposed to me again (he proposed before, when we were dating 4 years ago, and now he proposed again). I'm trying to be honest with everyone, and I haven't cheated on my husband, even though I don't even know where he is or what he wants anymore (as I said, he changed his phone number 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since). I am seriously considering divorce because no one deserves to be treated the way he has treated me,

So the questions I have are:

1) After I get a divorce, will my current i-130 and i-485 be canceled?

2) How long will I be allowed to stay in the states afterwards - 10 days? 30 days? (if you answered yes to 1st question)

The employment authorization card (that we filed for concurrently with i130 and i485) has just arrived and it's valid for a year. Will it be automatically canceled when I get a divorce? or cancel i130/486? or will the current employment card be valid for a year, still? (other words, can I stay while that is valid, even if i-130/485 cancelled?)

3) If I do say "yes" to my ex-boyfriend/best friend, he said that he would rather get married now than go back to my home country to get me later b/c he might not be given so much time off work and he doesn't want us to be apart for long. If I do say "yes", our families said they wouldn't mind a small family-only marriage, given the circumstances of the paperwork and my pain and needing space for healing. So... After I get a divorce, will I be eligible to marry my ex-boyfriend within the time frame I can stay in the states, and file for AOS? Or would I have to go back, and he would have to come to my home country to get me thru fiancee visa? or?

I hope some of it makes sense, I'm really sorry it's so complicated, and so many emotions and feelings are mixed in. I hate drama, but somehow I got in the middle of it. Please feel free to write your thoughts on how we should proceed with the paperwork...

Thanks again.

(I'm new here, so I hope it's ok to post this in 2 different topics/threads/etc)

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You indeed raise a crucial point sister diaddie

If the USC has already withdrawn the Affidavit of Support, things get even uglier.

Not being able to contact your current spouse adds another dimension into the mix. You say your application to adjust status is pending, but how do you know that? Is it possible your husband might withdraw his support of your application? In which case you don't have a case pending and you would be out of status effective the date your F-1 expired. What reason do you believe your husband had of picking up and leaving without leaving a means for you to contact him? Is he employed?

[many_questions 0]

To the OP:

Leave the country and have your ex bring u back. Thats the cheapest route! whatever u do, good luck!

Would you recommend getting married after my divorce and leaving, or coming back on fiancee visa?

Does anyone know for sure how many days will I have after my i-130/485 are cancelled? Thank you

for your input and support.

[many_questions 0]

By the way, I just looked thru some threads and it looks like lots of people are trying to have a scam or recovering from someone trying to use them for a green card. That explains some harsh responses to my threads - there actually ARE lots of people who don't consider other people's feelings and hearts.

=[

(after reading this: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...owtopic=208000)

[Anh map 2,098]

OP, your scenario does throw up a lot of red flags for any IO or CO. Any hasty decisions and/or actions by you may end up causing major hurdles for you to overcome.

As best you can, try to look at your possible scenario through an Immigration Officer's eyes. Or ask a good friend who can give you an honest opinion of how the story sounds. See where the trouble spots are and prepare to address them.

It may be worth it for you to spend some money for a consulatation with a QUALIFIED, EXPERIENCED immigration attorney. Lay out your current situation and thoughts for the future.

[Precious 2]

Many questions indeed. It seems to me though, all this situation is a confusing because the place you are in now IS in itself confusing. It seems to me that you are missing one very important point in this whole thing: YOU.

I understand you may have the best intentions and so forth, but due to the circumstances, it is always better to stop and breathe. You have a failed marriage to deal with now. You have to give yourself time to get over that, face your own feelings and lick your wounds. Give yourself time. If you don't want to do anything else to save your marriage, file for divorce. Go back home, stay close to your family, try to get your life back on track, give yourself space. After a while, if your feelings for guy #2 are still there and strong, THEN you can think about doing something to be together and build a relationship from there.

But in my opinion, your biggest problem is not the USCIS or AOS papers or staying in the US. You should focus on regrouping yourself and heal.

I wish yo the very best.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Many questions indeed. It seems to me though, all this situation is a confusing because the place you are in now IS in itself confusing. It seems to me that you are missing one very important point in this whole thing: YOU.

I understand you may have the best intentions and so forth, but due to the circumstances, it is always better to stop and breathe. You have a failed marriage to deal with now. You have to give yourself time to get over that, face your own feelings and lick your wounds. Give yourself time. If you don't want to do anything else to save your marriage, file for divorce. Go back home, stay close to your family, try to get your life back on track, give yourself space. After a while, if your feelings for guy #2 are still there and strong, THEN you can think about doing something to be together and build a relationship from there.

But in my opinion, your biggest problem is not the USCIS or AOS papers or staying in the US. You should focus on regrouping yourself and heal.

I wish yo the very best.

This is the best advice I think. I fear this may be a rebound relationship because you're feeling abandoned and vulnerable. I'm not saying it IS a rebound relationship, but the emotions you're feeling now, the fear, the stress, are very confusing. The whole visa process is very stressful and will test whether your ex really is ready to commit to you. Remember to think of why he is your ex, have those reasons suddenly become invalid?

I don't know which route is best for you and can't offer you advice on the visa front, but I wish you all the best and hope you're able to find a way to be happy.

Edited August 29, 2009 by Vanessa&Tony

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Comments like this are unnecessary and inappropriate. If you have nothing useful to add to the discussion then do not add anything at all. Actually, I have removed the offending post as it adds nothing to the topic.

Edited August 31, 2009 by Kathryn41

[wolverine78 0]

Comments like this are unnecessary and inappropriate. If you have nothing useful to add to the discussion then do not add anything at all. Actually, I have removed the offending post as it adds nothing to the topic.

not an insult or personal attack on the personal personally, they asked for input on their situation and got it. no put down or insult was issued to the topic creator.

i suggest you brush up on what constitutes a personal attack to the forum moderator that removed the post

if it appears to be a fraud it appears to be just that, and i was not the first to mention the 'red flags' issue btw. but by all means...selectively remove posts as you wish.

[Ban Hammer 12,861]

Comments like this are unnecessary and inappropriate. If you have nothing useful to add to the discussion then do not add anything at all. Actually, I have removed the offending post as it adds nothing to the topic.

not an insult or personal attack on the personal personally, they asked for input on their situation and got it. no put down or insult was issued to the topic creator.

i suggest you brush up on what constitutes a personal attack to the forum moderator that removed the post

if it appears to be a fraud it appears to be just that, and i was not the first to mention the 'red flags' issue btw. but by all means...selectively remove posts as you wish.

she is the moderator.........

[baron555 934]

I guess what I'm saying is that even if this doesn't look perfect, I know it looks horrible, but if both relationships

are in good faith, what can they say? It does happen, unfortunately, and it's not like I found a random guy from the street in one week, you know?

Sri, but that is what it may look like to a stranger. You'd have a lot of proving of the relationship to justify any AOS approval.

And if it comes out that you had two relationships going at the same time, one to your husband, even though he is not around, and then another to your friend, that in itself looks very bad.

I'd divorce your husband, then leave the country, then wait a year or so and then continue with relatonship #2.