divorce and pending case - complicated

[many_questions 0]

I currently reside in the US, while my husband and I are waiting for the i-130 and i-485 (adjusting from f-1) to be approved. Our interview should approximately be in October 2009. However, our marriage has been very rocky, since my husband started drinking again and started being emotionally abusive and even physically abusive once (I didn't go to police, so i don't have proof). The marriage is/was "real", so it was hard to give up on him, so I waited, and waited, and prayed and hoped that he would go back to the amazing man that I fell in love with and married. At times he would get better and things would be great, but other times he just wouldn't be here for me when I really needed him. For example, he left me at our rental house when my original F-1 work permit expired, and I was left without a job or a driver's license (waiting for i765 to be approved) while he went across country. He changed his phone number, and I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks.

On the other hand, my ex-boyfriend and my good friend helped me thru all of this and was there for me thru my marriage disaster, and I can't deny that sparks have come back. We've been having a very intense relationship and he proposed to me again (he proposed before, when we were dating 4 years ago, and now he proposed again). I'm trying to be honest with everyone, and I haven't cheated on my husband, even though I don't even know where he is or what he wants anymore (as I said, he changed his phone number 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since). I am seriously considering divorce because no one deserves to be treated the way he has treated me,

So the questions I have are:

1) After I get a divorce, will my current i-130 and i-485 be canceled?

2) How long will I be allowed to stay in the states afterwards - 10 days? 30 days? (if you answered yes to 1st question)

The employment authorization card (that we filed for concurrently with i130 and i485) has just arrived and it's valid for a year. Will it be automatically canceled when I get a divorce? or cancel i130/486? or will the current employment card be valid for a year, still? (other words, can I stay while that is valid, even if i-130/485 cancelled?)

3) If I do say "yes" to my ex-boyfriend/best friend, he said that he would rather get married now than go back to my home country to get me later b/c he might not be given so much time off work and he doesn't want us to be apart for long. If I do say "yes", our families said they wouldn't mind a small family-only marriage, given the circumstances of the paperwork and my pain and needing space for healing. So... After I get a divorce, will I be eligible to marry my ex-boyfriend within the time frame I can stay in the states, and file for AOS? Or would I have to go back, and he would have to come to my home country to get me thru fiancee visa? or?

I hope some of it makes sense, I'm really sorry it's so complicated, and so many emotions and feelings are mixed in. I hate drama, but somehow I got in the middle of it. Please feel free to write your thoughts on how we should proceed with the paperwork...

Thanks again.

(I'm new here, so I hope it's ok to post this in 2 different topics/threads/etc)

[NArocks 13]

HMM I see you are in a predicament. If you are divored all of your applied for benefits will go away as you have not even had your AOS interview yet. I would be super careful as it will not look very good if you divoce one man , marry another and apply again in a short time span. Maybe you should re think this relationship with the ex. Something seems a little fighy to me, but that is my Humble opinion.....

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Indeed --- your AOS has not yet come through, and with a divorce it will not be approved; obviously. Plus, your F-1 visa will no longer be valid and you will have to leave the country once your AOS is denied. As for jumping from guy #1 to guy #2 while you are processing AOS, how much of a no-no is that?

[many_questions 0]

HMM I see you are in a predicament. If you are divorced all of your applied for benefits will go away as you have not even had your AOS interview yet. I would be super careful as it will not look very good if you divorce one man , marry another and apply again in a short time span. Maybe you should re think this relationship with the ex. Something seems a little fighy to me, but that is my Humble opinion.....

I know, I know it will look horrible (or already does), but at least if both relationships are real, then that should help, right? All of my friends and one my current husband's friends know the situation, so I they can back me up in affidavits (not sure whether it helps but just an option)...

I guess what I'm saying is that even if this doesn't look perfect, I know it looks horrible, but if both relationships

are in good faith, what can they say? It does happen, unfortunately, and it's not like I found a random guy from the street in one week, you know?

PS: What do you mean about re-think the relationship with the ex?

Does anyone know for sure that the employment card they gave me (that we concurrently filed for w/i130,i485) will be revoked when i130 and i485 are cancelled? It's valid for a year and it's not an F-1.

PS: Thanks for your time and help, too.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Yes --- any document derived from your Adjustment of Status will of course cease to be valid once you are denied.

[many_questions 0]

So if it looks so bad (jumping from 1 to 2), will we even have a chance with AOS?

[many_questions 0]

So if it looks so bad (jumping from 1 to 2), will we even have a chance with AOS?

I meant, if it looks so bad, then we DON'T have a chance with AOS?

[DeaDea 0]

Dear OP,

Nobody here can tell you if your new AOS interview will be successfully ( in case you get divorced and marry your ex-boyfriend and will apply for Adjustment of Status trough him). Although in the USCIS eyes, it does look suspicious.

But we have no right to judge you, nor USCIS. Follow your heart. If you do get divorced and want to remarry right away, that so be it. Apply for AOS and wait for the interview, be honest and confident. Worse case scenario: AOS will be denied on the spot. You have the right to appeal and your case will be transferred to an Immigration Judge. The IJs tend to approve most appeals. If your marriage is real they have no way/proof to proof vice-versa.

Good luck.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

I understand that you are desperate, I really do. But if you can't work things out with your husband, make your marriage work, and make it work for at least another 2-and-then-some years, you're going home.

If you divorce husband #1 and marry then-to-be husband #2, especially given the time frame of this endevor, I venture to guess that you are going home as well. Even if it's real, and "for love," again, it does't look good in the eyes of an IO who tried to figure out which marriages are real and which ones are not.

The only way for your is to make your rocky marriage work. Get counceling, talk to your husband, find a way you both can live up to your vows. If you really got married for love, there will be a way to work things out. I also don't think hubby would like it that you are such good friends with perhaps hubby #2, but that's an entirely different subject.

Best of luck to you.

[many_questions 0]

I understand that you are desperate, I really do. But if you can't work things out with your husband, make your marriage work, and make it work for at least another 2-and-then-some years, you're going home.

If you divorce husband #1 and marry then-to-be husband #2, especially given the time frame of this endevor, I venture to guess that you are going home as well. Even if it's real, and "for love," again, it does't look good in the eyes of an IO who tried to figure out which marriages are real and which ones are not.

The only way for your is to make your rocky marriage work. Get counceling, talk to your husband, find a way you both can live up to your vows. If you really got married for love, there will be a way to work things out. I also don't think hubby would like it that you are such good friends with perhaps hubby #2, but that's an entirely different subject.

Best of luck to you.

Thank you. I've been really trying to work things out with my husband, but he started drinking, and nothing I can do to help him with that, b/c it has dynamics of its own, no matter what I do or don't do. As I said, he changed his number, and hasn't talked to me. My ex-boyfriend was there when my husband should have been there - it's not easy to be without work or driver's license in a country with no family. I'm not a saint, but I do have morals, and even stated to my ex-boyfriend that until I divorce we're not having any physical stuff (you know what I mean). It's a complicated situation, and I hate it too, but I appreciate your help!

[many_questions 0]

Dear OP,

Nobody here can tell you if your new AOS interview will be successfully ( in case you get divorced and marry your ex-boyfriend and will apply for Adjustment of Status trough him). Although in the USCIS eyes, it does look suspicious.

But we have no right to judge you, nor USCIS. Follow your heart. If you do get divorced and want to remarry right away, that so be it. Apply for AOS and wait for the interview, be honest and confident. Worse case scenario: AOS will be denied on the spot. You have the right to appeal and your case will be transferred to an Immigration Judge. The IJs tend to approve most appeals. If your marriage is real they have no way/proof to proof vice-versa.

Good luck.

Thank you for not judging. I know situation sounds bad - but thanks for positive support.

It's so hard to decide. The situation would look better if I returned to my home country and my exboyfriend would get me, but his work situation might not allow it. But it would look REALLY bad if I divorced and married right away.

Does anyone know what would be my status right after divorce and how long would I have to leave the country or marry my ex-boyfriend? I tried to get that off the gov't website, but no luck...

[rika60607 215]

You have to estimate what your timeframe will be:

-file for divorce, get a divorce - can take two years in some states

-waiting period before you can marry again (is it 6 months? <- may depend on a state).

Unless your now husband cooperates and you live in a state with relaxed laws, this whole thing will take years during which you would be illegal. One way out - find a job that will sponsor you with a GC or H1 visa, or go back to school visa F1.

I am not sure though, if you will have to leave and come back on a new visa. That may or may not be a problem.

Good luck, life happens. Both marriages can be real, I believe you

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I told you in previous posts: if you get a divorce or your marriage is no longer existing (as it is now, since you do not live together, etc); your AOS will be denied. Once that happens, you have to leave the country as you will be out of status. If you divorce and marry; prepare to be denied once more: the USCIS does not like murky stuff.

Is it unfair, awful, harsh, sh1tty? You bet. It is also the law, as fvcked up as you or I might think it is. Changing the question's phrasing will not change the law or the answers.

[NArocks 13]

It's so hard to decide. The situation would look better if I returned to my home country and my exboyfriend would get me, but his work situation might not allow it. But it would look REALLY bad if I divorced and married right away.

Does anyone know what would be my status right after divorce and how long would I have to leave the country or marry my ex-boyfriend? I tried to get that off the gov't website, but no luck...

You already know the situation is dire. Do not try to circumvent the laws to your liking they will come back to bite you in the behind. You will be out of status, as you may well be right now since you are not even living with the person who applied on your behalf. Immigration is nothing to play with. I would suggest you get a good immigration attorney and a divorce attorney.

[NArocks 13]

Dear OP,

Nobody here can tell you if your new AOS interview will be successfully ( in case you get divorced and marry your ex-boyfriend and will apply for Adjustment of Status trough him). Although in the USCIS eyes, it does look suspicious.

But we have no right to judge you, nor USCIS. Follow your heart. If you do get divorced and want to remarry right away, that so be it. Apply for AOS and wait for the interview, be honest and confident. Worse case scenario: AOS will be denied on the spot. You have the right to appeal and your case will be transferred to an Immigration Judge. The IJs tend to approve most appeals. If your marriage is real they have no way/proof to proof vice-versa.

Good luck.

Please back up this statement with links? Real information. How can you say that this is the case? Are you an IJ? They do not have ( immigration ) to prove anything. It is on the applicants to prove the reality of the marrage's in this case. I am not judgeing the OP , however I am explaining real life situations.