Read some scary things about marriage fraud

[paschwartz 0]

Ok, so I met this nice sweet girl, and she is living in Kenya. I don't suspect anything bad, but I have read so much out here about marriage fraud that I get kinda scared. We met online in the spring of '08, spent a week together this fall, and the rest of our contact has been on the phone or on Yahoo. She is definitely the kinda girl I can fall in love with, but I am full of doubts from things I've read out here. Is there anything to look for? Then there is the support affidavit that one would file, and if I was a target for fraud, I get stuck with the bill for 10 years. What do I look for??

[reeses16 8]

I think as long a you proceed with common sense you should be okay. People may post a list of things to look for, but I think it will always come down to the basics, (1) do you trust her/do things make sense and (2) are you comfortable. If you have a history of ignoring signs in previous relationship, then its possible that you may do the same with this girl. Your concerns may be lessen the more time you spend in person with her.

In regards to the affidavit of support. You should read a little more about it. While you do have certain important legal obligations, its not exactly true that you "get stuck with the bill for 10 years".

Best of luck.

[TBoneTX 49,432]

Agree with the excellent answer from Reeses16. Use your "bulldroppings radar" for ANYTHING AT ALL that appears amiss -- ESPECIALLY if she asks for money, or has crises, or if her life is filled with drama like a bad soap opera. Other signs include more-than-usual interest by her family, or unexplained connections with people in her country or the U.S. If you provide some specific examples of what you're concerned about, people can respond with input. Be prepared for a WIDE range of opinions, if you proceed!

[Carlawarla 1]

It can be somewhat discouraging reading some threads here where people believe they have been scammed, but I would suggest that there are tons more people here who haven't. You didn't say how you two met, or if you have further visits planned. Having more than one visit like you suggested might be a key to finding out answers for yourself.

I hope you HAVE found the one! I encourage you to keep reading here, and if possible have more than a few visits before filing.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

What is discouraging is when you have a valid relationship and you get hit with a returned petition and all the hell it brings to your live while you see people join here , pass through without a snag and already get divorced because there were just passing through for the green card. The extra time getting life on track and back together wouldn't be so bad if so many frauds didn't make it here.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Ok, so I met this nice sweet girl, and she is living in Kenya. I don't suspect anything bad, but I have read so much out here about marriage fraud that I get kinda scared. We met online in the spring of '08, spent a week together this fall, and the rest of our contact has been on the phone or on Yahoo. She is definitely the kinda girl I can fall in love with, but I am full of doubts from things I've read out here. Is there anything to look for? Then there is the support affidavit that one would file, and if I was a target for fraud, I get stuck with the bill for 10 years. What do I look for??

One, if you there is a doubt, there is no doubt.

So, if I were you, spend more time getting to know her, spend more time with her, before you take the plunge. A week? that is kinda short to base a long term relationship on. It can happen, but most times from what I have seen, it turns out badly.

Things to look for? That is a big one. No two people are alike, but common things I have observed:

1. During the "romance" phase of chatting/phone, you get hit for bills to help pay for. Like a brother/father/mother needs an emergency operation, schooling, government issues.

2. Asks for up front money to "bribe" the government for visa/travel permits.

3. Is in a rush to get things done, like paperwork, AOS, etc..., and once done, shuts off emotionally.

________________

It is a big commitment you are about to undertake, but you seem to know the negative side - I suggest you read up more, and see where that takes you. This is not a subject you should go with your heart, but with your mind.

(not very romantic, but safe none the less)

if you visit the Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum here, you will see some "interesting" posts.

(Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that everyone looking to come here to the USA is "fraud" based, there are many happy couples (I am one) that went through this process and are living the dream, but it would be bad not consider the other side, scams.)

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Scam

[msu17 0]

There are lots of scammers and lots of legit people out there. Get to know the girl, go see her more and if your gut tells you she isn't in it, then she probably isn't. But keep in mind that scammers are good at what they do and a lot of smart people get duped. I would say watch out for requests for money or excessive family emergencies. If anything changes in her emotions (ie was close and loving and now doesn't care/call) then that's a bad sign. Just keep your eyes open. Also get loved ones to get to know her and get their opinion on it since their heart isn't in it like yours is. Can you take a friend or family member with you next time you visit? At the end of the day though, any marriage and any relationship is a risk and you need to sometimes just trust in the other person and take a risk.

[shefellfromheaven 18]

Im Kenyan and its difficult to judge someone from where they come from.

I would suggest to you to take time to know her. Arrange for more visit, dont show her that you are in a hurry to settle down , take your time to know her really well since this is someone you would wish to spend your life with. Avoid sending her money in early stages. I think you should take more time to know her and the rest will fall into place

Good luck

Ok, so I met this nice sweet girl, and she is living in Kenya. I don't suspect anything bad, but I have read so much out here about marriage fraud that I get kinda scared. We met online in the spring of '08, spent a week together this fall, and the rest of our contact has been on the phone or on Yahoo. She is definitely the kinda girl I can fall in love with, but I am full of doubts from things I've read out here. Is there anything to look for? Then there is the support affidavit that one would file, and if I was a target for fraud, I get stuck with the bill for 10 years. What do I look for??

[defunct 0]

I think a major sign is someone who is desperate to leave their country. Not everyone wants to upend their life, leave their family and friends to move to the U.S. There is a big difference between a person who is doing it because they love someone and a person who is doing it because it's their ticket away from whatever they want to leave behind.

I'm sure there are people who want to leave their country and also happen to fall in love with a USC, so determining motive may be difficult. I notice a trend in the horror stories of the sponsor noticing signs, but ignoring them because they were in love or wanted it to work out.

[ikarus 1]

One of my high school friends went to the Moldova/Ukraine region; met a girl there, and had this romance online going for a while. The girl kept asking for items like clothes, perfumes etc. She never asked for money, but my friends radar went on alert when she specifically asked for brand name clothing. The girl was really subtle about it,and at first my friend would dismiss the requests like, 'well, is rough over there to get a job to pay for basic things so i don't mind helping her...' Eventually however, not sure how he woke up, but he realized he was being scammed. So like other members say, is really hard to have one specific tip to spot a scammer out there, but, best to go by common sense, and if you can spend more time to get to know this person in the flesh, then that might be your best indicator.

Good luck.

[kcoyclay1 98]

Ok, so I met this nice sweet girl, and she is living in Kenya. I don't suspect anything bad, but I have read so much out here about marriage fraud that I get kinda scared. We met online in the spring of '08, spent a week together this fall, and the rest of our contact has been on the phone or on Yahoo. She is definitely the kinda girl I can fall in love with, but I am full of doubts from things I've read out here. Is there anything to look for? Then there is the support affidavit that one would file, and if I was a target for fraud, I get stuck with the bill for 10 years. What do I look for??

Based on the fact that you are doubtful that is an indicator that deep down you strongly believe that you do not know enough about her to commit to marriage so soon. You met her once and only for a week and the rest is based on what you both decide to disclose about yourselves via yahoo or phone calls.

Just recently I heard someone say "the person you date/court is only a representative and the real person is who you see when you get married." The person you date doesn't really want to disclose any negative things about themselves. As a matter of fact that person is so perfect and if you think hard enough it might never even cross your mind that they even have bad breathe when they wake up in the morning. They are your sunshine and joy as it normally is at the beginning of every relationship. Take time to know her. Learn what she dislikes, what she likes will be told to you without you even asking; find out what you both have in common; find out what her family and friends are like. A good pointer is to see how quickly she starts downloading her needs and her sad stories to you. Try not to make her feel as if you are her genie; many men do that to impress and the poor woman doesn't even know that the opportunity cost of the $500 he sent to her is his unpaid rent (I'm just keeping it real).

If she asks for financial help too quickly as someone pointed out, that is a great big SIGN. Again, if you are doubtful you are obviously taking it too fast and you need to know more about her before making a serious commitment.

[my choice 0]

Ok, so I met this nice sweet girl, and she is living in Kenya. I don't suspect anything bad, but I have read so much out here about marriage fraud that I get kinda scared. We met online in the spring of '08, spent a week together this fall, and the rest of our contact has been on the phone or on Yahoo. She is definitely the kinda girl I can fall in love with, but I am full of doubts from things I've read out here. Is there anything to look for? Then there is the support affidavit that one would file, and if I was a target for fraud, I get stuck with the bill for 10 years. What do I look for??

Go with your gut feelings. In life you have to be careful, sometimes we have to take that chance at love.

[Old Dominion 26]

Just keep your billfold closed and continue to develop the romance, is my advice. There isn't that much scamming from Kenyans, although they do tend to enjoy the sound of coin, especially if they are Kikuyus. The saying goes, "the way to tell if a Kikuyu is actually dead is to drop some coins next to his ear. If he's not Kikuyu, his eyes won't even flutter." Or something like that.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Ok, so I met this nice sweet girl, and she is living in Kenya. I don't suspect anything bad, but I have read so much out here about marriage fraud that I get kinda scared. We met online in the spring of '08, spent a week together this fall, and the rest of our contact has been on the phone or on Yahoo. She is definitely the kinda girl I can fall in love with, but I am full of doubts from things I've read out here. Is there anything to look for? Then there is the support affidavit that one would file, and if I was a target for fraud, I get stuck with the bill for 10 years. What do I look for??

Hey there is some really scarey stuff right down at your local club, your workplace, or eveb your church. What do you look for?

Well, consider that this person is leaving their home country to come to the USA which is really scary to a lot of people, they will likely need to learn a new langauge, not easy for anyone of marrying age, and leave their family friends and home behind. It is pretty grown up stuff. Anyone who is too anxious to do that would scare me right off. Anyone that hits you up for money too soon or says they love you after 3 emails...big red flags. Anyone that tries to feed you lines like "send me money and I will come to see you" especially people from countries that routinely get denied tourist visas...look out. They may just be ignorant. Right.

If you do not trust the person, forget it. This process is more about trust than any other I can think of. If your gut isn't telling you to trust someone, back off. I am sure there are more, but I can think of those from my own experience. My wife was none so anxious to leave her home country, she refused to take money even when I sent it until we were well along and then she would only agree for expenses related to her moving, our communications, etc. She never suggested getting a tourist visa to come here, she knew better. She was always consistent in our communications, every day for year, on top of her very busy personal and business life, what's not to trust? In short, I guess it is like any other relationship. Only different.