how much do I put up with before deciding on divorce?

[childress_london 3]

'submit to your husband'

i just have to wonder. with all of the women replying in here, they must not be too busy submitting to their husband.

Husbands should be submitting to the wives. They have it all wrong!

don't make me thump you with this bible!

My bible is bigger than yours.

It happens all of the time in internet marriages, but works OK if the person with poor social skills and bad habits is the woman, and she is younger, because she can be conformed to her husband and upgraded in the process.

you make the wife sound like a bare bones computer.....

Can I get the husband upgrade?

[Ban Hammer 12,903]

'submit to your husband'

i just have to wonder. with all of the women replying in here, they must not be too busy submitting to their husband.

Husbands should be submitting to the wives. They have it all wrong!

don't make me thump you with this bible!

My bible is bigger than yours.

maybe, mine is actually a playboy magazine

It happens all of the time in internet marriages, but works OK if the person with poor social skills and bad habits is the woman, and she is younger, because she can be conformed to her husband and upgraded in the process.

you make the wife sound like a bare bones computer.....

Can I get the husband upgrade?

want more RAM eh?

[Rob&Dawn 1]

'submit to your husband'

i just have to wonder. with all of the women replying in here, they must not be too busy submitting to their husband.

[childress_london 3]

'submit to your husband'

i just have to wonder. with all of the women replying in here, they must not be too busy submitting to their husband.

Husbands should be submitting to the wives. They have it all wrong!

don't make me thump you with this bible!

My bible is bigger than yours.

maybe, mine is actually a playboy magazine

It happens all of the time in internet marriages, but works OK if the person with poor social skills and bad habits is the woman, and she is younger, because she can be conformed to her husband and upgraded in the process.

you make the wife sound like a bare bones computer.....

Can I get the husband upgrade?

want more RAM eh?

Sounds good. I'd like to add the remote control too.

[Ban Hammer 12,903]

'submit to your husband'

i just have to wonder. with all of the women replying in here, they must not be too busy submitting to their husband.

Husbands should be submitting to the wives. They have it all wrong!

don't make me thump you with this bible!

My bible is bigger than yours.

maybe, mine is actually a playboy magazine

It happens all of the time in internet marriages, but works OK if the person with poor social skills and bad habits is the woman, and she is younger, because she can be conformed to her husband and upgraded in the process.

you make the wife sound like a bare bones computer.....

Can I get the husband upgrade?

want more RAM eh?

Sounds good. I'd like to add the remote control too.

you want him to look for himself?

[childress_london 3]

Can I get the husband upgrade?

want more RAM eh?

Sounds good. I'd like to add the remote control too.

you want him to look for himself?

Hmmm...I'm not sure what's on your remote control, but mine has faster, slower, mute, etc. (Yeah, I know, I'm combining a computer with a TV here...lol)

[Ban Hammer 12,903]

Hmmm...I'm not sure what's on your remote control, but mine has faster, slower, mute, etc. (Yeah, I know, I'm combining a computer with a TV here...lol)

oh you mean like this!

[The_Dude 1,142]

Some of the responses here are quite shocking. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. To the OP, I do believe there are far to many differences to overcome here. The mere fact that he says something to the effect that if women from his native country did some things like you did that they would be hit is clear cut mental abuse.

[Chelartie 0]

I can't believe some of the responses you have had from the PI members...#######!!

You do not have to stay in an abusive marriage...there are forms of mental abuse it doesn't just have to be physical. he sounds like he has intelligence, surely he understands what he is doing?!

Something needs to change and it does NOT all have to be you!

If he is not willing to meet you half way and change some of his expectations of a dutiful wife you either have to be submissive to him or get the hell out!

I totally agree. If he makes you feel like he's breaking you down, then that does not sound like a loving partnership to me. It irks me when I hear someone saying they are a "bad wife." A marriage is two people: the real question (for me, at least), is 'are the two of you good partners to one another so that you can build a happy life?' You shouldn't have to live in fear of setting him off...

[TracyTN 237]

People who have no problems being cruel to animals is a HUGE warning sign to me. Run, don't walk, towards the nearest divorce attorney...!

[Sandrila 1]

First I know what you are going through. I know there are 2 sides to every story but I will put my neck out there and say from the length and tone of your post that you are at your wits end and your husband has stressed you so much that you are compelled to come here and seek advice.

BMTRRBT.....From your response it sounds to me as if you are in fact the husband who is driving her to madness.

Rob & Dawn.. for a very quick and to the point articulate response.

I am not happy having life revolve around food - that is, cooking, and cleaning up after the cooking and the eating.

There are responsibilities being a wife, no matter where you are from but life here is different, than say, where your husband is from HIS expectations are most definitely contradictory to what most “american” husbands would tolerate in their marriage whether here or there. Tell me what are HIS responsibilities being a HUSBAND?

Is that to just sit around and DICTATE to you what you should or shouldn’t be doing? Is it to disregard his part in helping around the house or doing things for himself? Is it to forget himself and you with his unsanitary appearance and/or hygiene?

He won't brush his teeth

Who would want or should have to tolerate this?

THIS IS SOMETHING NORMAL PEOPLE LEARN TO DO WHEN THEY ARE SMALL. I tell you what, anyone can have bad breath but if it is out pure neglect to brush their teeth, I would eventually tell my man BRUSH THEM or no nookie! That is horrible! That would go for dirty clothes and body odor. Being intimate, is just that, close contact and being close, one who cares for their SO would care how they are “seen” or in this case, smelled. And I wouldn’t want someone outside my home to say my SO smelled bad or unkept in any way.

He does not treat my dog very well.

An animal is like a human to us. Any person who can treat animals cruelly or bully them around could potentially treat real humans that way as well. That would be a sign right there. That is like your baby and he hasn’t the right to scare, intimidate or harm your child.

I make many tiny mistakes rather often and he does not want to hear "I'm sorry." I feel he over reacts and gets more irritated than the situation warrants.

EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES! People also have their moods but it doesn’t make him a “man” to intimidate you and insult you. If you feel as though you are walking on eggshells what kind of relationship is that. Certainly you have the right to dispute issues and speak your mind, always trying to be respectful but if your husband doesn’t respect you how can you always be expected to respond in a calm and complacent manner? In marriage, of course their will be arguments but he doesn’t have the right to put all the blame on you and make you feel as if you have no say. That is not fair.

[trinket 30]

I'll add my voice to those who are appalled by some of these responses. ####### indeed!!

This is emotional abuse and NO ONE should submit to it. I do not see any love here at all.

OP, I hope you will get counseling right away. If your husband won't go, then go by yourself. He has torn you down and you need help to regain a positive sense of self. Part of your post sounds like you are dealing with depression as well. Please get help, whether you decide to stay in the marriage or not.

And a guy who torments an elderly dog... well, that ought to tell you something right there.

Best wishes...

Maya

Agree, don't let the man rob you out of your self esteem.

And all the submitting comment You know what my husband smokes and I can't stand the breath of smoking, it's his bad habit of smoking, I am not going to submit to it, so being the good husband he is, he goes outside every time he has to smoke, he at least chews a gum after he smokes and starting March he will join smoking cessation class. That is acting like matures, not always keeping your needs and your habits on top and thinking your submissive little wife has to accept everything.

So yes be a good housewife but like Parul said, don't advice others to do the same.

[Ontarkie 13,995]

take you poor dog and yourself and get out now, it will only get worse.

do not stay living under the same roof you need to clear your head

[Sinergy 3]

because of the way you are thats why i said that...you as a wife has to submit yourself to your husband...you are not ready to do that.

what you were talking was such an immature thing...talking about not brushing the teeth and about your dog...etc etc.. i mean if you are matured enough and ready to be a wife...you wont talk something like that against your husband...if you think you dont love your husband anymore then file for divorce...you dont need to elaborate all the things that he does..my gosh...if your not a housewife type then just be his wife.

wow...your just plain ignorant

[Sinergy 3]

People who have no problems being cruel to animals is a HUGE warning sign to me. Run, don't walk, towards the nearest divorce attorney...!