Update: "True Love" Post

[himher 634]

In fact, it is the beneficiary who is the one applying for AOS. So blaming the OP for not filing for her makes no sense...

If a beneficiary can apply for AOS without an attached check and I-485 from the petitioner, then that statement would be very true. Short of bringing the fee with them how on earth can a beneficiary obtain legal status here without the participation of the petitioner? It is at the point between I-94 expiration and AOS filing that a (K1) beneficiary appears to be most vulnerable. It is true that AOS filing can be and is delayed all the time, usually with no consequences. The facts of this case seem to indicate that, a married K1 visaholder with expired I-94 can be jailed and deported.

If this were not true, wouldnt the INS officer just say "oops we made a mistake come pick your wife up?" Lawful entry is indicated in the beneficiaries passport. Keep this away from the OP and look at it in general terms please.

While it's certainly best to file for AOS asap.... "Immediate Relatives of United States citizens need only show lawful entry in any status. Status violations subsequent to entry are waived by law." This happens all the time and MANY people wait a lot longer than this, even years, to file for adjustment with no problems.

I don't believe anyone asked for moral judgment or reiteration of personal perception of the facts here. The OP was asking for advice on this particular matter and unless you were sleeping in their bed and living their lives I don't understand how you feel you are in a position to judge or make such comments based off of what was said in another thread. It's probably best not to believe everything you read as fact just because it's been said.

This is a grown woman who I have to believe is capable to make her own decisions and who is probably not without fault herself...the same as the rest of us.

It is not just one person's responsibility to handle any of the immigration process. In fact, it is the beneficiary who is the one applying for AOS. So blaming the OP for not filing for her makes no sense...especially when the relationship was on rocky ground.

This is the last warning to keep your comments and judgements to yourself. If have nothing to say to help this situation...don't post. It's that simple. Further action will be taken if the personal attacks continue.

[sara..... 371]

Im not here to judge u in fact i hope that God blesses u and everything turns out for the best for u and ur wife my prayers are with u

sara

[daboyz 36]

William, I know there is a time and place for moderation. This case is beyond help on VJ, unless there is a little sub-area of VJ for people who immigrate spouses/fiances over to work and cook and clean for them until the sponsor gets around to updating their status. Outside of VJ in the general community that's sometimes viewed as human trafficking. I and many others have tried kindly (and at times impolitely but this guy only hears what he wants to hear) to point out that is exactly what this case LOOKS like.

The woman was in an abusive situation. That's not a moral judgement, that's a fact. She had the same problem that any local girl would have had post-miscarriage. She needed medical and professional help - and didn't get it. She was out of status on the day her I94 expired. She needed to keep her status here, and didn't get to. "K1/married within 90 days" is NOT legal status no matter how many VJ members line up behind this guy and explain their delay in following the immigration path. Present in the US with valid I94 is legal status. "Pending AOS" with expired I94 is legal status. I would politely advise moderators to point that out when "we married within the 90 days but delayed AOS and we were OK" gets posted as a legal or alternate immigration path. I would politely advise K1 petition applicants to plan to follow through on their spouses visa journeys - AOS is a required step, not an optional step, in the immigration process.

The K1 path is clearly outlined, here on VJ, on the USCIS website, on other sites. Petition, interview, EAD/AOS, lift conditions, citizenship. In order to keep status here in the US, that is the path that needs to be followed. VJ (and no other site that I know of) does not exist to provide advice or input on "alternate paths".

I know this guy sounds sorry for the situation his household is in. All abusers are sorry when they significantly hurt the people around them with their actions and decisions. All abusers have long, eloquent explanations for how the actions of their victims or things out of their control caused them to do the harm. The bottom line is that the actions of this selfish, self-centered member have destroyed someone's life. If the OP was arrested jail, he or his mom would have a lawyer on the case immediately. That's the only option that allows someone who is looking at a penalty from a courtroom to ensure that all legal options are exercised and rights are protected. That's what you do when a family member gets in trouble. The OP needs an immigration lawyer for his wife. Looking for a "free" way through immigration or legal advice to navigate through the courts and jails is not what VJ is here for.

I will say it again, as in the last thread. The OP did not post here for moral judgement. This website is designed and intended to help others through the obstacles of US Immigration. We don't have all of the facts here, so surmising a definitive conclusion is reckless.

If you don't have something helpful to add, stay out of the thread.

[himher 634]

Correction - I-864 from petitioner

In fact, it is the beneficiary who is the one applying for AOS. So blaming the OP for not filing for her makes no sense...

If a beneficiary can apply for AOS without an attached check and I-485 from the petitioner, then that statement would be very true. Short of bringing the fee with them how on earth can a beneficiary obtain legal status here without the participation of the petitioner? It is at the point between I-94 expiration and AOS filing that a (K1) beneficiary appears to be most vulnerable. It is true that AOS filing can be and is delayed all the time, usually with no consequences. The facts of this case seem to indicate that, a married K1 visaholder with expired I-94 can be jailed and deported.

If this were not true, wouldnt the INS officer just say "oops we made a mistake come pick your wife up?" Lawful entry is indicated in the beneficiaries passport. Keep this away from the OP and look at it in general terms please.

While it's certainly best to file for AOS asap.... "Immediate Relatives of United States citizens need only show lawful entry in any status. Status violations subsequent to entry are waived by law." This happens all the time and MANY people wait a lot longer than this, even years, to file for adjustment with no problems.

I don't believe anyone asked for moral judgment or reiteration of personal perception of the facts here. The OP was asking for advice on this particular matter and unless you were sleeping in their bed and living their lives I don't understand how you feel you are in a position to judge or make such comments based off of what was said in another thread. It's probably best not to believe everything you read as fact just because it's been said.

This is a grown woman who I have to believe is capable to make her own decisions and who is probably not without fault herself...the same as the rest of us.

It is not just one person's responsibility to handle any of the immigration process. In fact, it is the beneficiary who is the one applying for AOS. So blaming the OP for not filing for her makes no sense...especially when the relationship was on rocky ground.

This is the last warning to keep your comments and judgements to yourself. If have nothing to say to help this situation...don't post. It's that simple. Further action will be taken if the personal attacks continue.

[Twisted K 2]

Wow, I have been following this thread, and it all seems better than any daytime soap opera. There are major issues on both sides, and I pray it all gets worked out. The OP seems to be a church-going man, so you must also know that "All things must work together for the good". I am glad to know she got in contact with you. Had me worried, and I don't even know her, therefore, I am sure you must have been heart-sick with worry. It must have been, and probably still is scary. I will keep you both in my prayers.

"Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins." - Native American proverb.

[Valsu 1]

Due to limited time while dealing with all of this, I will not be able to respond individually to everyone's post as I did before.

I do have some updates, however, since I last posted.

When I had spoke to my wife on 12/02/2008, I informed her that she should go stay with her sister, rather than a half-way house, while waiting for my mother to get moved out. That would allow her to obtain some positive influence from family.

During that conversation, she told me she loved me (in a whisper since Shelter workers were near her), and wanted to work things out. It was a comforting night, nonetheless.

Then, I didn't hear from her again until she called from the prison 7 days later.

Well, just before I left for my business meeting last night, she called me collect just as I stepped out the front door of our home. Perfect timing--as God always works.

This time my wife was very calm, and cried a little. I explained to her how much I love her, and I asked her straightway if she truly loved me and wanted to come home? She told me she loved me very much, and wanted to come home, and did not want to be deported away from her family. She confessed that the original reason she left was because she could no longer trust my mother after certain situations, and was going to wait for my mother to leave before coming home. She apologized for a few things, and then enlightened me on a what happened to her.

She told me that she took my advice, and forsook the shelter to go stay at her sister's house, because the women at the shelter were being such a negative influence. She bought a bus ticket, and border patrol arrested her immediately at the first stop in the next state. According to the police sergeant I spoke with, if they would have arrested her in the state we live in, they would have had to take her to our home, but instead they waited until she reached the next state so they could accuse her of being a "flight risk" while Out of Status and she was not with her husband. They did not believe her story of going to her sister's house, and took her to the prison for 5 days, and then transferred her to the ICE detention prison. They refused to call her sister, or me, and would not let her make any calls until she was in the hands of ICE. The reason she was saying the day before that "it was my fault she was in there" was because I was the one who told her she should go stay with her sister.

I spent most of the time encouraging and comforting her the best I could, and let her know I was going to do everything in my power to get her out of this. I trust and believe that God will work this out together for good, as Romans 8:28 describes. I asked her if she had been hurt, and she said no one has harmed her, but the 5 days in the first prison was very rough. The detention prison was not as bad because the facilities are nicer, and the guards are not rude. It sounds like she's actually received some good counsel in the ICE prison, compared to what she was getting at the shelter.

My attorney had a death in the family, and was unable to assist us at this time, so I've been forced to find another attorney. The new attorney I'm using is one I'm unfamiliar with, but he has very good credentials and comes with high recommendation. I will be receiving my free consultation in the morning, and will discover our options.

Meanwhile, before I went to this mandatory business meeting, I collected ALL of our bona-fida documents showing my wife's married name with our home address on bills, mortgage, insurances, etc. The police Sergeant I spoke with also told me that if go to ICE where she is, and present those documents and let them know I gave her permission to go to her sister's, they "might" be forced to release her to me. I will be driving toward her the moment this meeting is over, and should arrive Saturday morning sometime if I drive through the night.

I am looking forward to seeing my Baby! I plan to stay there until her Bail Bond hearing is set, and I will attend that to ensure she gets a Bail Bond, and I will bail her out right away and bring her home. Hopefully, our new attorney will be able to get the trial cancelled. Soon as we are home and I can get her signatures on the required paperwork, I'll be submitting her AOS as well--which should guarantee she doesn't get reported--especially since the NOA should arrive before the hearing.

I received these advices from local immigration authorities, and I hope to verify these things with my attorney in the morning. I am also acquainted with our city's Mayor, and I may get him involved, or see if he has some connections.

As for the flamers, I could care less about what they say. They are still trying to base their "judgments" on my original post, back when I was broken and confused about many things. Much has changed since that time.

As far as I am concerned, I learned well from my mistakes, and God has truly lifted my children and I up--and has now awarded my wife and I hope for our marriage even after all of the former events. None of this caught God by surprise, and He's still in control. He will be the one to praise once He restores our marriage--don't forget that. I will be back to to show forth His praises of deliverance in the nearest future.

After going through documented professional counseling and therapy (thank God my insurance covered it), and then listening to HOURS upon HOURS of Marriage counseling CDs/DVDs from one of the BEST Marriage Counselor's in the world (Dr. Jeff Owens), I now feel I have been placed at a great advantage of how to be an extraordinary husband through God's guidance. Once my wife gets a hold of much of the materials I've been listening to, I know that our issues will become forgiven and forgotten.

By the way, even if you think your marriage is strong, I highly recommend going to Dr. Jeff Owen's website, and ordering all of his Marriage Counseling CD sets--Bible-based principles. He handles everything from Miscarriage to Intimacy, and how things are seen in God's eyes, and in the eyes of your mate. Those counseling sessions are all taught at Couple's Retreats, and I guarantee if you follow some of the principles he outlines, you could turn a good marriage into a great marriage, and a failing marriage into something hopeful and restorable--just following Biblical principles. My entire perspective on marriage has changed; and I'm thoroughly excited at the chance to see my wife again and to watch as God's love, and my love for her, comfort her through all of the trials she's faced--even until now. I thank God that she's explained to me how willing she is to make our marriage work--even after all of these things! God still answers prayer!

I am convinced that while we are a victim of our circumstances many times, God also allows us to endure certain trials for reasons we won't understand until after we go through them. Perhaps, some day down the road, we will be able to help someone else with a trial similar to ours--and to God be the glory in that day!

By the way, many of you posted very kind and encouraging words. Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart. I especially thank those of you who are taking time out of your day to pray for us. Things are looking impossible right now, but with God, all things are possible. I know that He can, when we can't. Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen. It's time to stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord. Believe with us that God will provide us the miracle--not just of releasing her from that prison, but for the restoration of our love and marriage.

Praise the LORD!

Romans 12:21

Edited December 12, 2008 by Valsu

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

in before the lock - since people can't heed what 2 mods have already said.

[himher 634]

Me too. You guys tone it down!

in before the lock - since people can't heed what 2 mods have already said.

[DanielParul 50]

Made it too

[Old Dominion 26]

Good! Especially now that you regard it as "our" home. God is in control.

[Aussielad 37]

Due to limited time while dealing with all of this, I will not be able to respond individually to everyone's post as I did before.

I do have some updates, however, since I last posted.

When I had spoke to my wife on 12/02/2008, I informed her that she should go stay with her sister, rather than a half-way house, while waiting for my mother to get moved out. That would allow her to obtain some positive influence from family.

During that conversation, she told me she loved me (in a whisper since Shelter workers were near her), and wanted to work things out. It was a comforting night, nonetheless.

Then, I didn't hear from her again until she called from the prison 7 days later.

Well, just before I left for my business meeting last night, she called me collect just as I stepped out the front door of our home. Perfect timing--as God always works.

...........oh had a business meeting while my wife is in jail!!!! everythings alright!!!....

May Lord have mercy on him!

[Beautiful_years 0]

Let it go people! Meanwhile, i'm happy things are going well as you say! May God guide you both!

[melusine 5]

AussieLad, whatever you say and you think I am happy for them. I think it's genuine and that it have chances to work. You should also give a chance to people.

[Valsu 1]

...........oh had a business meeting while my wife is in jail!!!! everythings alright!!!....

May Lord have mercy on him!

While I appreciate your intricate concern, visitation is only on the weekends, and I will be there first thing in the morning for that. Not to mention, bail is not yet posted for her, and there is nothing I could do besides work things out with my attorney.

In addition, this company meeting was mandatory, and not attending is grounds for dismissal--not a wise choice during tough economic times, and especially while going through this.

Nice try casting the stone though.

By the way, God has plenty of mercy for us all. Don't forget it.

[Valsu 1]

1. You might want to think about respecting the privacy of your relationship and marriage while you rebuild. Solving problems together in private is generally recommended over posting them to the world while promoting yourself and your actions while putting your spouse down. (was that on those tapes? hmmmmmm......)

2. You might want to hold off on the bible-thumping. There are lots of posters that this picture would fit on, but "Christian poster-boy" isn't the title on any of the posters that come to mind

3. VJ has figured out that you are "good-intention husband of the year". Internet self-promotion (see above) is no longer necessary

Good luck!

himher, your vocal opinionative bashing has been evident since my original post. Your attitude toward the entire situation really brings to question and light your own personality.

Careful how your present yourself. Moderators might take a look at your account.

Nonetheless, I am here in regard to our current situation, not our past one. The past thread was locked for obvious reasons. Please avoid any further attempt to regard our situation with such negativity unless you have something constructive to add.

This will be the only reply I make to you. Thanks.