Cultural problem with your spouse, anyone?

[Ban Hammer 12,839]

You won't eat my food = No sex

Problem solved.

that sure has a hidden meaning.

[Teacher Mark 53]

You won't eat my food = No sex

Problem solved.

that sure has a hidden meaning.

We'll call it a Freudian slip.

[Nessa 23]

[SpiritAlight 1]

I would tell him he's SOL and he can figure out how to make his own damn food if he has no clue what to change or what he wants. You're not his maid. If he doesn't like your cooking he can cook for himself or starve.

I really did that to Neil. He eats only nasty microwave meals and I'm a freaking chef. His loss.

Now this is a problem.

How can a person living with a foodie not eat well?

It feels insulting even though realizing that is a judgment and so, it is no reflection on your creative cooking (and probably oh so delicious)...it is challenging to, ahem, swallow.

Food is culture.

A way of expressing love, community and sharing.

Not having any of that received (so to speak) is like a slap in the face (well, that was a little harsh, and you know where I'm going with it).

Here in our home, my sweetie does not do well with carbs, and I eat like it is going out of style (superior genes? hahaha).

And so it is challenging to even plan a "menu"; I end up cooking all kinds of things so that he gets his veggies and meat and I get it all. Ha!

Many times I just don't bother...kind of a cooking strike as he sometimes eats a lot at work with his work-mates and is not hungry for dinner.

He used to eat every night meal with me, when I first lived with him because I had cooked, and he started to gain weight. Oops, hee hee.

Our cultural difference would not be in the food department, I would say it is in the lifestyle department.

I was (am?) quite the "gypsy" and he was/is an immovable rock.

For example: I lived "off the grid" (no fixed address), freelanced (no fixed "boss"), and liked to climb huge mountains, adventure, etc..

Ah the great outdoors. Natural settings to refill the soul that gets drained in the noisy city. There is no prettier (natural) place than B.C. Well, maybe Hawai'i.

And well, Chicago is flat and so my hiking boots and other mountaineering gear stayed in Vancouver.

My hardcore sailing gear gets no use here, as sailing in the Summer only in Lake Michigan did not merit such open-water/offshore gear.

There is a lot, and I have only touched on a couple of things.

So many adjustments.

It feels like an anti-life for me here.

We need to get to the West Coast ASAP.

Man, it's hard to leave "home".

Things come back to bit your in the assss. Hahaha. Like even things you thought you would not miss.

I imagine if things had been "easier" here, a smoother transition, maybe I could have embraced this place.

As things were, deaths in my sweetie's family and more personal stuff (not to be aired), we had a rough beginning.

The pieces still scattered. Shrapnel.

(dramatic, huh?)

Much "work" to do.

I hope you find a happy medium Ranie.

(BTW I love your name.)

We are still searching for ours.

I'm not convinced that is such a thing as a compromise. Ha!

Edited December 10, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[Jasman0717 8]

Claudeth, being Filipino, is sometimes difficult to understand what she says. If I ask her how much she spent she will say '50 plus'. That can mean anything from 51 to 100. It gets really scary when she says 300 plus

Sometimes I will ask her a simple yes or now question and I will get an answer like 'yes, a little bit but not so much'.

[tom&tata 2]

I wish I had the problem sometimes. I do enjoy cooking but I wish my husband can do it esp. when I have to stay late at work. I mean "real cooking" not microwave dinner. Those days are usually Chinese take out days. It might be the case with your husband that he enjoys cooking & it is not he is trying to make you upset on purpose.

He eats almost everything I cook except for once he did not like my cooking & that's when I made rice cakes - for 2 days he ate some microwavable food & hated it

[SpiritAlight 1]

Eating only microwaved food is not healthy.

On so many levels....

[Amby 490]

I would tell him he's SOL and he can figure out how to make his own damn food if he has no clue what to change or what he wants. You're not his maid. If he doesn't like your cooking he can cook for himself or starve.

I really did that to Neil. He eats only nasty microwave meals and I'm a freaking chef. His loss.

Now this is a problem.

How can a person living with a foodie not eat well?

It feels insulting even though realizing that is a judgment and so, it is no reflection on your creative cooking (and probably oh so delicious)...it is challenging to, ahem, swallow.

Food is culture.

A way of expressing love, community and sharing.

Not having any of that received (so to speak) is like a slap in the face (well, that was a little harsh, and you know where I'm going with it).

I've cooked many things for him in the past but I gave up after a few months. He will eat something simple like spaghetti bolognese but if I get "pretentious" and put something like herbs in the sauce then he won't eat it. I gave up. I'm not going to eat shite food because he is lame and doesn't want to eat something good. He prefers microwave ####### anyways. It's what he grew up with and what he's used to. One day he will get really fat and I will laugh at his misfortune

I agree 100% that food is a way of expressing love. If I go out of my way to make something special for someone it's because I want them to know I care. I'm very passionate about food...living with someone who isn't is very depressing.

I love this site...the photos turn me on a bit

http://foodporndaily.com/

[NickD 202]

Hi All,

Just wondering, if you guys have problems with you spouse -who was a single for a long time before marrying you, such as: he/she seems to be kind of individual so that he/she is the one who cooks most of the time, handles all the bills, and so on.

If you do, what seems to be the further implication of it on your marriage? E.g: do you feel less appreciated since he/she most likely won't enjoy what you cook and not willing to eat it (since it's probably not his style and that he's been cooking all his life), or did he ever blame you if some bill is missing (since it's probably your fault for you're the one who sometimes picks the mails), and stuff?

My hubby has been cooking all his life and he likes to stick with it. But sometimes I feel less appreciated since he won't sacrifice one dinner time to only eat my food. Even if he eats it, he will still cook something. On the other hand, I have always eaten what he cooks and take the difference in our cooking style gladly.

I'd be very happy if you could participate a bit in this topic

Cheers

Ha, anytime my wife wants to cook, the kitchen is hers, I will even clean up the mess that I am very accustomed to doing. We have adapted quite well, Venezuelans do not like red hot food that Mexicans seem to prefer, you know, the kind that burns your tongue when even the food is cold. I introduced her to my Italian spaghetti sauce made from all fresh vegetables, she has never tasted better or beef stroganoff made with grilled steak, fresh mushrooms, and a cream sauce served on wide egg noodles that is her favorite. She is a whiz with a frying pan with fish and chicken and makes some of the best rice dishes I have ever tasted, ha, that makes a mess I am happy to clean up. Arepas are new to me, finding an arepa maker in the USA and PAN flour was a challenge, but I got a local store to carry it for us. But I see that as time goes by, it is used less and less frequently, but it is there.

Our tastes do differ in redecorating our home, but hell, I am a guy, I prefer the traditional hardwoods, she the more modern steel stuff, but what the heck, she left her home, I gave her 90% of the vote, more important to me that she is happy than my taste. She calls our home theatre room, my room, but would like me to get rid of my 10 foot projector, LOL, not until I can find something better, I reply, but she loves that ten foot screen on the wall. But I added curios around the screen so she can display her doll collection with the arguement, she won't have to dust them, we get along.

She was more than happy to turn the finances over to me, she is very frugal like I am, and we spend our money wisely.

Feel your husband should be a lot more responsive to you, take it from this guy, if your wife is happy, he will be much happier too.

[almaty 19]

sometimes i ask sanita a question,. and 3 days later she is still talking..i just grunt at her these days.,..i get paid to listen to people and don't like to bring my work home with me...

[faryan 4]

hi there

It is not a cultural problem, or food or taste problem. It is a habit problem. You said he has been on his own for a long time. I am sure he is "set in his ways"

Some times old habits are hard to break. I am not sure how you go about getting him to let go of his old routines and allow you room in there.

Totally agree!

Just enjoy being together, getting to know each other more, and communicate.. All the best!

[zqt3344 21]

When handling a man, just remember that you must use your secret weapon on him. SEX, it tends to cure all concerns and problems you may have with your husband, and you will have him eating out of the palm of your hand doing as you please. He is typical American man, works on them all the time.

Hi All,

Just wondering, if you guys have problems with you spouse -who was a single for a long time before marrying you, such as: he/she seems to be kind of individual so that he/she is the one who cooks most of the time, handles all the bills, and so on.

If you do, what seems to be the further implication of it on your marriage? E.g: do you feel less appreciated since he/she most likely won't enjoy what you cook and not willing to eat it (since it's probably not his style and that he's been cooking all his life), or did he ever blame you if some bill is missing (since it's probably your fault for you're the one who sometimes picks the mails), and stuff?

My hubby has been cooking all his life and he likes to stick with it. But sometimes I feel less appreciated since he won't sacrifice one dinner time to only eat my food. Even if he eats it, he will still cook something. On the other hand, I have always eaten what he cooks and take the difference in our cooking style gladly.

I'd be very happy if you could participate a bit in this topic

Cheers

[SpiritAlight 1]

I would tell him he's SOL and he can figure out how to make his own damn food if he has no clue what to change or what he wants. You're not his maid. If he doesn't like your cooking he can cook for himself or starve.

I really did that to Neil. He eats only nasty microwave meals and I'm a freaking chef. His loss.

Now this is a problem.

How can a person living with a foodie not eat well?

It feels insulting even though realizing that is a judgment and so, it is no reflection on your creative cooking (and probably oh so delicious)...it is challenging to, ahem, swallow.

Food is culture.

A way of expressing love, community and sharing.

Not having any of that received (so to speak) is like a slap in the face (well, that was a little harsh, and you know where I'm going with it).

I've cooked many things for him in the past but I gave up after a few months. He will eat something simple like spaghetti bolognese but if I get "pretentious" and put something like herbs in the sauce then he won't eat it. I gave up. I'm not going to eat shite food because he is lame and doesn't want to eat something good. He prefers microwave ####### anyways. It's what he grew up with and what he's used to. One day he will get really fat and I will laugh at his misfortune

I agree 100% that food is a way of expressing love. If I go out of my way to make something special for someone it's because I want them to know I care. I'm very passionate about food...living with someone who isn't is very depressing.

I love this site...the photos turn me on a bit

http://foodporndaily.com/

OMG!!!

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a food ####### too....thanks for this site.

sometimes i ask sanita a question,. and 3 days later she is still talking..i just grunt at her these days.,..i get paid to listen to people and don't like to bring my work home with me...

[NickD 202]

hi there

It is not a cultural problem, or food or taste problem. It is a habit problem. You said he has been on his own for a long time. I am sure he is "set in his ways"

Some times old habits are hard to break. I am not sure how you go about getting him to let go of his old routines and allow you room in there.

Totally agree!

Just enjoy being together, getting to know each other more, and communicate.. All the best!

Since both my wife and me had lived alone for a period of years. we have become accustomed to cooking for one, and that happens quite frequently when she has a taste for something and I have a taste for something else. We manage to share the kitchen, ha, like bumping into her. Feel that sharing is the key word here. With me, eight years after the divorce, and three years after my last kid left, living alone with just my dog in a large house, wanted to share it with someone special and that sharing did come with a small price to pay, just would no longer be free to buy or do anything like I felt like doing. But did that, got all the things I always wanted, but no thrill in that either, was no fun in sharing special things with that very special person. Question was, finding that special person, a lot happier now. Ha, really fun to share the bathtub not to mention, my bed.

[Peikko 1,575]

The OP is not a #######

When handling a man, just remember that you must use your secret weapon on him. SEX, it tends to cure all concerns and problems you may have with your husband, and you will have him eating out of the palm of your hand doing as you please. He is typical American man, works on them all the time.

Hi All,

Just wondering, if you guys have problems with you spouse -who was a single for a long time before marrying you, such as: he/she seems to be kind of individual so that he/she is the one who cooks most of the time, handles all the bills, and so on.

If you do, what seems to be the further implication of it on your marriage? E.g: do you feel less appreciated since he/she most likely won't enjoy what you cook and not willing to eat it (since it's probably not his style and that he's been cooking all his life), or did he ever blame you if some bill is missing (since it's probably your fault for you're the one who sometimes picks the mails), and stuff?

My hubby has been cooking all his life and he likes to stick with it. But sometimes I feel less appreciated since he won't sacrifice one dinner time to only eat my food. Even if he eats it, he will still cook something. On the other hand, I have always eaten what he cooks and take the difference in our cooking style gladly.

I'd be very happy if you could participate a bit in this topic

Cheers

Not to mention sex solves no problems whatsoever. Sex may well distract for a while, but solves nothing.