How to deal with this waiting journey?

[Aryadne e Kevin 0]

Hi, Guys

Wondering, living in a world where couples have difficult to deal with distant, individuality and long -term relationships... Where people are unable to accept the other´s needs of individuality and, why not, their own space and time to themselves... what make us, who are able to face and fight for this Visa journey, wait so long and believe that after the end of all of it, IT WILL WORKOUT ?

Another questions, my relationship is lasting for over 5 years, 3 years living apart. During this "apart" life... How do you live? do u have a normal life working, going to school... living day by day without thinking in future.... without planning.... avoiding dream too much.... How is the routine for all of you?

In my case, I spend 3 years taking my life normally in Brazil... grabbing opportunities like jobs, school educations,.. working out...exploring new things... but I never felt like going out to clubs, short or long tripps with friends... It was crazy but easy, because I focused on my job and education. My planns were straightly to business and academical schedules and national and international trips with my husband who I saw every other month, for maximum of 10 days each.

Basically, I gave up on pressuring my husband full time attention... his full time space... I honestly set his mind free, projecting a day where, after getting done with my dreams, we could be ready to be together for life, with no fear.

And you? How is to deal with this unusual relationship or lifestyle?

Aryadne

[Tunji&Toyin 0]

Hi, Guys

Wondering, living in a world where couples have difficult to deal with distant, individuality and long -term relationships... Where people are unable to accept the other´s needs of individuality and, why not, their own space and time to themselves... what make us, who are able to face and fight for this Visa journey, wait so long and believe that after the end of all of it, IT WILL WORKOUT ?

Another questions, my relationship is lasting for over 5 years, 3 years living apart. During this "apart" life... How do you live? do u have a normal life working, going to school... living day by day without thinking in future.... without planning.... avoiding dream too much.... How is the routine for all of you?

In my case, I spend 3 years taking my life normally in Brazil... grabbing opportunities like jobs, school educations,.. working out...exploring new things... but I never felt like going out to clubs, short or long tripps with friends... It was crazy but easy, because I focused on my job and education. My planns were straightly to business and academical schedules and national and international trips with my husband who I saw every other month, for maximum of 10 days each.

Basically, I gave up on pressuring my husband full time attention... his full time space... I honestly set his mind free, projecting a day where, after getting done with my dreams, we could be ready to be together for life, with no fear.

And you? How is to deal with this unusual relationship or lifestyle?

Aryadne

- I work full time. I know my life will change some, because she will be going to school here, and I am going to be taking some post graduate classes. I always think about the future, and always have future plans. It has only been a year for me, so my journey may not be as extended as most. I've never been the type to be out there very much, so for me, my life hasn't changed much. I speak to her on the phone, and my international calling bill is as much as my cell phone bill, yuck. But it is all worth it. May god make your journey end soon and for the both of you to live life together in happiness.

[canadian_wife 1,791]

I work full time, even more with extra hours when I can find them. I have an active social life and I try to fill the time so it goes as quickly as possible. My husband and I have a great long distance relationship and we make time for each other while not pressuring the other person or making unrealistic timelines or setting obscure goals. My husband and I were separated for 8 months before so I know we will be fine during this separation. We love and trust each other and think of the future when our lives will be back as one.

Good luck! Keep faith

[Paul's Mrs. 0]

I have not been in this situation long but I find myself doing the same thing. I don't go to clubs anymore, don't go out, don't go on trips but I think it is all worth it. Keeping sane is the hardest thing to do especially when my partner is on the othre side of the world. We go crazy at least once a week and have to talk it out and be strong. I cry alot but feel alot better after it is done. Also, I think my graduate grades have never been better. Trying to do things that are positive is definately the way to go. I feel for you. We have only been apart for a few months and that has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I can't imagine years. Stay strong and have faith.

[PortlandAngel 0]

I work full time, even more with extra hours when I can find them. I have an active social life and I try to fill the time so it goes as quickly as possible. My husband and I have a great long distance relationship and we make time for each other while not pressuring the other person or making unrealistic timelines or setting obscure goals. My husband and I were separated for 8 months before so I know we will be fine during this separation. We love and trust each other and think of the future when our lives will be back as one.

Good luck! Keep faith

This period that we are going thru right now I find very difficult. In the summer my best friend was getting married so I was busy with wedding stuff and also knowing that we would see each other the end of August kept me going. Since I got back from my last visit, I have been wondering what I did with my life before I started dating him, I was severely depress for a good week, every time he called me I started crying (it was so weird). The last few weekends I have not left my house besides going to the grocery stores, going out is just not the same anymore. When we were just friends, I had a very active social live, going on dates, going out with my girlfriends, etc. Now I am not really interested in doing any of that. I have started reading more, I am trying to do some more volunteer events, things to keep me from being depress about the situation. Fortunately, for us we are able to talk for about an hour everyday otherwise I do not think I would be able to do it. As far as what life will be like when are together everyday, I am not sure. Only time will tell, but we are both committed to being in it for the long haul...

[Ilya R. 0]

I sleep alot

[Aryadne e Kevin 0]

Hi, Guys...

I lived 2 years in CA with Kevin... then I decided to move back to Brazil to get done with my education ... the thing was I got an opportunnity to work for a great international company, and Kevin, as well in California. .. So, even loving so much each other, we had a feeling of grabbing our own opportunities. So, that decision supposed to last 2 years... however, between getting married, planning and having a bid wedding ceremony and party, and started my Visa process, took another year... and now, I am waiting, without a job (I quit to prepared my trip back to CA), being so much time at home... and even being, probably 2 motnhs of my interview date, I AM WONDERING TOO MANY THINGS....

But, it is good to share it with you. It seems nobody else can undersatnd me...

The thing is, I agree with this full -time working inspiration, but for the ones who is like me at this time, jobless, schooless,.... I suggest you find out or develp new projects while waiting... Go do some extra classes, or fo learn how to cook. I booked a SPA for 15 days and after this, a I am going for short trips with my mom, my brother...

It is sick to be waiting for life to happen.

ufa...

[Serendipity_ 0]

It is difficult and takes a lot of patience and understanding. The key is to keep yourself busy. Take new courses, upgrade your skills, learn a new language...helps fill up the void on the weekends.

The most important things in a long distance relationship are trust, love, understanding and never ending communication

[Ilya R. 0]

Every family makes a decision thats best for them. Sometimes it includes making sacrifices for better future together. I dont think me and Kate could do what you are doing voluntarily, but we are not you. I wish you luck and hope you guys find out what it is you are searching for.

[cmnb 0]

weekdays - 9AM - 6PM: work and numerous phone calls with wifey

7PM-12AM: vj.com and talk to my wife online

12AM -7AM: sleep

weekend: sleep, sleep and more sleep and talk to my lady.

i guess thats my regular day schedule...but as most of u said, i spend most of my time staying home as well. life has changed after i got married (even though we dont live together yet)...your perspective changes and u feel responsible to your partner.

[Ling Ling 22]

We've been married since Oct. 2nd, 2007

Dating since Jan. 2007

Even though we've had the luxury of seeing each other at least once a month (she's a flight attendant)

it's been really rough for me. Between her flight schedule and the time difference, it's been difficult to talk on the phone.

Like CMNB, I feel different being married to her. I feel very dedicated to her and our relationship. Like you, I have no

desire to go to clubs or hangout with people. Like Ilya, I sleep a lot....and at a time I would drink a lot of beer at night

and then wake up groggy in the morning. Now I might have a glass of wine, but most nights I don't drink any alcohol.

Sitting around, drinking, being depressed, doesn't help. Trust me...I've tried it.

I think you've given yourself good advice. Use this time to invest in yourself. Learn cooking, to draw, another language,

how to be really good at a sport or game your spouse enjoys. Time is the most important gift we have. Use it wisely,

because it can not be replaced.

[Phillip2 3]

Amen to everything said

It is best to stay busy

I don't do clubbin or any of that stuff

I have a house a yard an pool to take care of and swim in

I have a Harley and go out for rides sometimes weather permitting.

I talk to my wife on the weekends and during the week we write and text each other.

I know that when you really love one another your trust is without question

true love knows no time or distance

We will overcome the immigration process and not let it breaak us apart

I believe that all of us here will have a strongier love them most people in the world. Because we know what it is like to be without our loved ones.

Oh nd get plenty of rest

[SKluvSH 0]

I call her for about 6000 min per month on cellphone. This is not counting the time we chat online. Sometime it still feel we havent talked in days.

[gogo 6]

Call and Complain... :angry: :angry: I'm sure you guys have SOME USE of at least ONE OF THESE NUMBERS... lol

http://thevoice.name/?page_id=10698

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Edited September 19, 2008 by gogo

[edmagenta5 0]

hello,

I just want everyone to know..I am lonely and every single day, it makes me feel sad that seeing my brother and his wife now who used to be his fiance they got married last month..My brother petitioned her as fiance visa and at the same time, I petitioned my husband which is Aug.2007 last year..Now all their papers being an immigrant is coming to our house in a speedy phase while I watch them being happy, I know I should be happy for them, but I cant help myself but be jealous about it because I am still here waiting for my husband while all the fiance' petitions are getting approved even in weeks.. I go through finding a job so I could also file my affidavit of support for my husband.. I don't want to be greedy but it is very unfair how fiance visa is so fast than petitioning for spouse visa..

Most of the time, I just close my eyes, everything has been very difficult especially my mom nagging at home and she even acts like she is not in favor of my marriage and she also seem like she is not in favor of me petitioning for my husband..

I hope we can all get through this..

Hi, Guys

Wondering, living in a world where couples have difficult to deal with distant, individuality and long -term relationships... Where people are unable to accept the other´s needs of individuality and, why not, their own space and time to themselves... what make us, who are able to face and fight for this Visa journey, wait so long and believe that after the end of all of it, IT WILL WORKOUT ?

Another questions, my relationship is lasting for over 5 years, 3 years living apart. During this "apart" life... How do you live? do u have a normal life working, going to school... living day by day without thinking in future.... without planning.... avoiding dream too much.... How is the routine for all of you?

In my case, I spend 3 years taking my life normally in Brazil... grabbing opportunities like jobs, school educations,.. working out...exploring new things... but I never felt like going out to clubs, short or long tripps with friends... It was crazy but easy, because I focused on my job and education. My planns were straightly to business and academical schedules and national and international trips with my husband who I saw every other month, for maximum of 10 days each.

Basically, I gave up on pressuring my husband full time attention... his full time space... I honestly set his mind free, projecting a day where, after getting done with my dreams, we could be ready to be together for life, with no fear.

And you? How is to deal with this unusual relationship or lifestyle?

Aryadne