wife cheated on me at last moment

[marriedguy 34]

and no need to tell your wife, you are coming to US, man up and take the risk, just a matter of loosing few thousands dollars.

Edited May 9, 2015 by marriedguy

[Boiler 43,434]

This subject has come up before, need to so research before replying categorically.

[CowBoE 429]

Look on the bright side. Sounds like she's pretty high maintenance

based on her alcoholism, and irresponsible attitude towards marriage and money.

You deserve a happier life with a better spouse.

I would just focus on stabilizing your work and life right now,

and...trust me...eventually a better woman will come into your life.

[raven52 233]

i am reading that you want to come to the USA.

So, I would come and then I would get a good attorney, and tell him of your situation.

I think you are going to need a good divorce attorney anyway. As it sounds like she has no intent of having anything to do with you.

You sound like a good person, so sorry this has happened to you.

[kkk1 42]

I just want to hid my face. Everyone here is giving me several opinion. I am not in state to answer all that. I am sorry. I think my wife has boarderline personality disorder. Thats what my physchtrist told me. I am screwed badly. I become joke. Well i have decided that i will go and will deal with she had done. I may or may not going to keep with her. I can afford plane ticket and stay there. I could rent nice place for several months and I will have salary every month. That is not the issue. Issue is how badly it will affect me carry green card. Are they going to deport me. I am very sure when my wife realize everything at the end she will come to me and then it will be my decission. Basically my family and her family are badly affected and we all care for image. Yes i do care for her family because her parents are nicest people in the world. Also i receive one message says that i can still go and have my gc and continue my life with or without her because divorce is not yet applied. Also if divorce is because of her bad behaviour then i wont loose gc. Let me tell i dont care about coming there but i am screwed. Atlease for 6 month then i will see some other option towards my life. I am sorry if I am harsh but I am not getting proper answer. Also does anyone know good attorney where i can have web session or phone session , i will pay amount. Thanks a lot. You guys are really good. It is just stressful to deal with situation i am in.

I just want to hid my face. Everyone here is giving me several opinion. I am not in state to answer all that. I am sorry. I think my wife has boarderline personality disorder. Thats what my physchtrist told me. I am screwed badly. I become joke. Well i have decided that i will go and will deal with she had done. I may or may not going to keep with her. I can afford plane ticket and stay there. I could rent nice place for several months and I will have salary every month. That is not the issue. Issue is how badly it will affect me carry green card. Are they going to deport me. I am very sure when my wife realize everything at the end she will come to me and then it will be my decission. Basically my family and her family are badly affected and we all care for image. Yes i do care for her family because her parents are nicest people in the world. Also i receive one message says that i can still go and have my gc and continue my life with or without her because divorce is not yet applied. Also if divorce is because of her bad behaviour then i wont loose gc. Let me tell i dont care about coming there but i am screwed. Atlease for 6 month then i will see some other option towards my life. I am sorry if I am harsh but I am not getting proper answer. Also does anyone know good attorney where i can have web session or phone session , i will pay amount. Thanks a lot. You guys are really good. It is just stressful to deal with situation i am in.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

This very large immigration-law firm has telephone and e-mail consultation available. I don't know if they can help you from overseas, but perhaps try:

http://www.fosterquan.com

(I have no connection with the firm except for being a past customer.)

[Lauren and Kevin 55]

I just want to hid my face. Everyone here is giving me several opinion. I am not in state to answer all that. I am sorry. I think my wife has boarderline personality disorder. Thats what my physchtrist told me. I am screwed badly. I become joke. Well i have decided that i will go and will deal with ###### she had done. I may or may not going to keep with her. I can afford plane ticket and stay there. I could rent nice place for several months and I will have salary every month. That is not the issue. Issue is how badly it will affect me carry green card. Are they going to deport me. I am very sure when my wife realize everything at the end she will come to me and then it will be my decission. Basically my family and her family are badly affected and we all care for image. Yes i do care for her family because her parents are nicest people in the world. Also i receive one message says that i can still go and have my gc and continue my life with or without her because divorce is not yet applied. Also if divorce is because of her bad behaviour then i wont loose gc. Let me tell i dont care about coming there but i am screwed. Atlease for 6 month then i will see some other option towards my life. I am sorry if I am harsh but I am not getting proper answer. Also does anyone know good attorney where i can have web session or phone session , i will pay amount. Thanks a lot. You guys are really good. It is just stressful to deal with situation i am in.

I just want to hid my face. Everyone here is giving me several opinion. I am not in state to answer all that. I am sorry. I think my wife has boarderline personality disorder. Thats what my physchtrist told me. I am screwed badly. I become joke. Well i have decided that i will go and will deal with ###### she had done. I may or may not going to keep with her. I can afford plane ticket and stay there. I could rent nice place for several months and I will have salary every month. That is not the issue. Issue is how badly it will affect me carry green card. Are they going to deport me. I am very sure when my wife realize everything at the end she will come to me and then it will be my decission. Basically my family and her family are badly affected and we all care for image. Yes i do care for her family because her parents are nicest people in the world. Also i receive one message says that i can still go and have my gc and continue my life with or without her because divorce is not yet applied. Also if divorce is because of her bad behaviour then i wont loose gc. Let me tell i dont care about coming there but i am screwed. Atlease for 6 month then i will see some other option towards my life. I am sorry if I am harsh but I am not getting proper answer. Also does anyone know good attorney where i can have web session or phone session , i will pay amount. Thanks a lot. You guys are really good. It is just stressful to deal with situation i am in.

One of the problems when you are in the place you are is that it's very hard to do anything except feel the way you do.

Honestly, speaking from personal experience, you will find many many people around you have similar or worse relationship issues that they have had to deal with over the years. You may feel it's all just you but it's NOT!

You will feel better, once things are in motion and you are there and sorting it out, and boy have you had a lucky escape from a very nasty life and marriage.

Remember this - there are so many nice people out there, helpful and welcoming ones. Please don't shut down because of her, rise above it and have that great American dream you deserve..!

Each step you take now is towards happiness and away from misfortune.

[VOL 425]

If it were me. I would take the job in the USA. I would spend a lot of money on a lawyer and try to get half the house, half the bank accounts , basically take half of everything she owns or may own in the future.

After that I would pack it back up and decide if you want to stay in USA or go back home.....

[Done--Really 331]

To the OP --

1) Where does your wife live ?? Divorce laws are very different state to state, so in some states it will be easy, and in some more difficult.

2) This is a big country and I can assure you that while you right now want to hide your face, no one here is going to care about what happened with your wife, but you won't really see that until you are here.

And then I think you will be surprised how quickly you adapt to a new culture. You can stand tall and be proud of who you are, and frankly no one will care about what happened with your wife -- but you won't know that feeling of total freedom until you are here.

And one thing you are not is screwed !! Every possible opportunity lies before you -- just reach out your hand and grasp your new life -- it all starts when you get off the plane and get the stamp in your passport -- it will be great -- actually better than great

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

So you would take her back after what she has done to do and milk you for more money while sleeping around exposing you to STD's ?

Your shame and saving face is so important to you that you would endure all that ?

I suggest not only an attorney for you but a counselor so you can shake the cultural "shame" issue.

No one can shame you unless you allow them to. Change your mindset. I understand the culture but a healthy emotional well being

that is shame free trumps culture. This is 2015 !

Come to the USA and get on with your life or stay there whatever you prefer. Don't let shame be a guide to your destiny.

[ChinaWall 1]

Sorry that you choose a woman with no honor. All the judgments of shame are yours only if you take them. You have several pieces of this marriage that need you to deal with.

The police have nothing to do with you coming to America. This is empty threat to keep you from coming to USA.

If she owns that house she claims this man is moving to Good. She may have property that as married You have rights to this house also..

If you are in USA she has Big problem. If you stay in your country She doesn't have Big problem, only small.

I would continue your plan to come to USA. Do not tell her this. She can not stop the Visa Go as planned. Start work at new company.

Do not inform CBS officer of this. What your wife has said to you is only words, nothing else. You do not know if this is Truth or Lie. You need to be in USA to find answer.

Divorce can not start until you are serviced divorce papers. Being in USA now makes this better for you and Bad for her.

She was never going to be your wife in America. She wanted your money and not you. What she has done is wrong and may get Her in Big trouble not you. Until she is Not legally your wife, You can continue.

Her Biggest fear is that you will come to USA and continue as planned. Welcome to America. Find new wife, new work and new Life!

Please email me to answer any questions. China Wall

[kkk1 42]

Thanks a lot to all of you.you guys are real friend in my bad time. I am feeling much better now.

[Villanelle 4,121]

Okay there are MANY MANY opinions on this thread and you are correct, most are about you personal issues and no one is addressing your immigration sitution directly besides myself and indirectly Boiler who tends to give one line answers.

. That is not the issue. Issue is how badly it will affect me carry green card. Are they going to deport me. I am very sure when my wife realize everything at the end she will come to me and then it will be my decission

Also i receive one message says that i can still go and have my gc and continue my life with or without her because divorce is not yet applied. Also if divorce is because of her bad behaviour then i wont loose gc.

The statement that divorce has anything to do with this is totally incorrect. I get the reasoning that was used when it was said. It was like- hey you are still married so you are still eligible to come. Sure that was one of the things that made you eligible. But so what? Its an irrelevant fact now. To toss in the complication of if divorce proceedings were going on and finished prior to you entering then you wouldnt be able to enter- yes- thats true- but thats not the situation. So why bring up things that are not occurring?

As for if you divorce because of her bad behavior you wont lose the GC- STOP> There is much misinformation there. IF you are able to enter and obtain your card you would get the 10 yr card. You would not need to remove conditions. All you need to do to renew it every 10 years is send in a form pretty much stating you want to renew it and pay the fee. They never ask about your marriage again. They dont care if you divorce the second you enter- all they basically care about is if you commit certain criminal acts. (you can find a pamphlet online that explains what you must do to keep your GC like file taxes and what are revocable GC offenses like domestic violence, murder, rape, high level fraud and racketeering, drug trafficking, human trafficking) I dont have the info handy but you are a decent fellow so this should not be of any concern to you.

So deciding if you want to have the GC and being able to enter the US may or may not be your decision at this point. Your decision is if you want to try.

Right now you have a visa. You dont have the GC, you have the visa. At any point before the visa is used your wife can contact them and request to withdraw her support of the visa.

In order for a visa to be considered "used" and this is where it gets a little tricky- you must fly over on it, or otherwise show up at a border entry point with it and present it, and they must clear you into the US with it. I said in my previous post in casual language "step foot in the US". Technically speaking they must admit you into the US on the visa. Once they do so, your visa has been used and it can no longer be cancelled.

So I am using the terms withdraw her support of the visa and visa cancelled interchangeably here. When she withdraws her support of your visa- your visa is cancelled. Its no longer usable.

The big question is was your wife able to withdraw her support of the visa? Did she? Has she? Will you still be able to enter?

That is a question I can not answer. No one can answer.

Even if your wife assures you she did and tells you she has a copy of a letter she sent it does not mean for certainty the letter made its way through the mail system and up the chain and bounced around offices and landed on the desk of the person with the authority to enter it into the master computer to cancel your visa out as of todays date.

People on this very forum who have gone through that very process (attempting to withdraw petitions for visas) have reported mixed results) Some have submitted letters and have received back confirmations with in a week or two. Others have never gotten a response and had to submit multiple letters to multiple places. Some were flat out told when attempting to submit letters in person they could not do so when the law clearly states they can and had to fight to turn it in.

-------

So again, Im very sorry if there is no straightforward answer. You can consult with an attny if you choose to, however I do not know how much more assistance they can provide for you.

Its my opinion that you will not know if your visa is still valid until you attempt to enter with it and because its a fluid situation (meaning it can be revoked at any moment) there are NO GUARANTEES. You will be on a long flight. Am I right? Perhaps it can be good when you get on and invalid when you get off.

It goes back to the decision being yours of do you want to take the chance to travel to find out if your visa is still valid and if they will allow you to enter or not?

You seem to have the finances and have a plan set up for after your arrival to be stable. If you are able to enter- GREAT! Stay away from your wife. Proceed with divorce. Because as mentioned above domestic violence charges CAN get your GC revoked and your spouse has mental health issues. She has already advised you NOT to come to her home. She obviously has many issues and as others have stated is seeing you as a source of income. She has little regard for your well being and can and will hurt you for her own advantage. Do not end up in a situation with her where the police are called and she is crying that you "hurt her". Please please please do not end up posting back on here with that kind of story. It will break everyones heart.

[marriedguy 34]

Get out of bed and take the flight, there is nothing stopping you from going there.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Anybody can find actual USCIS document to prove the petitioner can not withdraw the I-130 or I-864 once the immigrant visa is issued but before entering US?