Family not agreeing with the relationship

[kris_hetfield 11]

So I have heard of some embassies asking the question of whether the family agrees with the marriage.

Just some specifics:

• My mother, a Russian lady, is completely against my gf being Romanian because of the gypsy stereotype which I think is very unfair to generalize normal people that way. she is only treating it as a huge shame/embarrassment
• I made plans to go see her in Romania and when I told my brother about this, he made it sound so horrible going there as if I'm stepping into the wild west on steroids. Basically a convoluted plot of her family trying to make sure I get her pregnant and force me to marry her and if not, they'll charge me for rape and put me in a Romanian Jail. Anyways I went and had a very good time and found the people to be friendly.
• My father thought it would be a good idea to go see her there and get to know her better in her own country if I'm really into her that much.

So basically if the embassy were to ask my gf this question, my family's opinion would be completely against it at best and for very uncalled and irrational reasons.

Just wanted to know how seriously these family disputes are taken by the embassy considering none of them are sponsoring her and we won't be living with them.

Thanks

Edited May 13, 2016 by kris_hetfield

[Georgia16 2,858]

Luckily families don't decide who their kids should marry and it's not like she will get denied because of that reason. Seems like your father is okay with it. They haven't met her yet so maybe they'll change their minds when they meet her.

I won't be worried about this.

[kris_hetfield 11]

Luckily families don't decide who their kids should marry and it's not like she will get denied because of that reason. Seems like your father is okay with it. They haven't met her yet so maybe they'll change their minds when they meet her.

I won't be worried about this.

Hey Georgia, thanks for the input. Tbh, I have no intention of having her meet my family except for my father. I'm just worried that the embassy will think of it as a red flag if she says they're not happy about it. She can always say she's never met them depending on the question asked.

[aratamorne 164]

I would recommend having you family talk to her if they have not already. My sisters, friends, and mother have all gotten to speak with Annalyn over Skype at various times. Perhaps if your family was able to spend a bit of time talking to her they will feel better. Now your brother just sounds like he has been reading way too many horror stories, while there are scammers everywhere, not everyone is a scammer. Either way, as already stated, it should not be an issue as long as you have established your relationship with her.

Good luck,

Scott and Annalyn

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

This won't be a big deal for Romania. It is a more common question in places where families meddle or otherwise arrange marriages, like India.

[kris_hetfield 11]

I would recommend having you family talk to her if they have not already. My sisters, friends, and mother have all gotten to speak with Annalyn over Skype at various times. Perhaps if your family was able to spend a bit of time talking to her they will feel better. Now your brother just sounds like he has been reading way too many horror stories, while there are scammers everywhere, not everyone is a scammer. Either way, as already stated, it should not be an issue as long as you have established your relationship with her.

Good luck,

Scott and Annalyn

Hi Scott and Annalyn,

I appreciate the advice, but what Ive told you is just a taste of the things they had to say. It went to all kinds of ridiculousness like my mum saying im a traitor, shes cursing me for life and all kinds of BS. My brother had some choice words for her too.

Anyways to get to the point, considering their mentality I wouldnt want her to speak to either of them at all online or offline.

The only person may be my dad.

[JR loves JR 196]

If they ask her specifically about your family's reaction to your relationship she has to be honest. But she doesn't have to be detailed. It would be totally fine to say that your dad is supportive and that the rest of your family has some concerns. If they want more details (which they probably won't), she can always say that your mom is concerned that cultural differences will hurt your chances of being happy. I think that would normalize the concern and minimize the drama. And the best part, it's true. She could then talk about how the two of you are planning to alleviate those fears.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

Embassy CO may ask if your financee family approves / not yours as Americans have rights

they asked Adil and he answered "they love her"

[RomanianBeauty 3]

Hi,

Gypsy and Romanians are different. In fact Romanians discriminate against Gypsies. Romania is a wonderful country. I been there 4 times with my future wife. The embassy is easy. They allows me to help her. Good luck.

[kris_hetfield 11]

Hi,

Gypsy and Romanians are different. In fact Romanians discriminate against Gypsies. Romania is a wonderful country. I been there 4 times with my future wife. The embassy is easy. They allows me to help her. Good luck.

That's nice to know, thanks. Usually what do they ask?

[RomanianBeauty 3]

Hi,

I would say Romania is a low fraud country. The interview was easy. I went to the interview with her. I was next to her and they allowed me to help her. They ask how we met, did I meet her parents and how many times I visited Romania. Visa was granted. Me and my wife have 30 years difference and different ethnicity. Even with this it was easy. Romanians do not tend to married outside ethnic background. Romania do not really have a multicultural society.

That being said. You need to visit her multiple times during the process. They did like it that I was there for Christmas and summers. You also should be there for the interview.

Romanians should have visa free travel to United States next year. Romania is now important to the US military. They would be like the rest of European Union. She should visit the USA. It is different. I would say Romania have more freedoms than USA.

[IguanaCouple 26]

You're fine lots of parents don't approve of their children's marriage choices it's no biggie. Just make sure she doesn't lie during the interview IF the question were to come up somehow.

For eg:

CO: Have you met his parents?

Your fiancee: I've skyped with his dad but I haven't skyped with his mom. She's not exactly very fond of me.

CO: And why is that?

Your fiancee: His mom is Russian and I'm Romanian and she doesn't have a very high opinion of us "Gypsies". (Sticks her tongue out)

CO: (Wry smile) Approved.

[TBoneTX 43,247]

*** Thread is moved from the K-1 Process forum to the Embassy/Consulate forum -- topic involves that phase. ***

[mariachrin 4]

As a Russian, I am so shocked your family is against you marrying a Romanian. I'm Orthodox and my family has always seen Romanians in a positive light. Out of curiosity, is your family Orthodox as well?

[kris_hetfield 11]

As a Russian, I am so shocked your family is against you marrying a Romanian. I'm Orthodox and my family has always seen Romanians in a positive light. Out of curiosity, is your family Orthodox as well?

'

Hi Mariachrin,

I wouldn't say religion played a big part in our household, I grew up in South Asia and my mother admired hinduism/buddhism, even though she grew up Orthodox. I don't think it is much of a religious issue as much as it is Eastern European stereotypes I suppose. She's entirely convinced that Romania is a country full of gypsies. I understand that there is such an ethnic group in Romania as there are in other parts of Europe and even the way they're treated in Romania is worse than other countries. I've been to Bucharest myself to visit my fiance. Her family + friends were very nice to me.