TBoneTX

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Husband Reaches Out To NSA To See If They Know What His Wife Wants For Christmas FAYETTEVILLE, AR — As the December days began to tick away, a local man grew so desperate in his attempt to buy his wife a great Christmas gift that he decided to reach out to the National Security Agency to find out what she wants. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/husband-reaches-out-to-nsa-to-see-if-they-know-what-his-wife-wants-for-christmas

Get the second line? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jewish Family Celebrates Hanukkah 2023 In Neighbor's Attic AMSTERDAM — Acknowledging the current hostile climate toward Jews around the globe, a local Jewish family decided to carry out their traditional Hanukkah celebration this year in the safety of their neighbor's attic. "Let's be frank here, it's not safe to celebrate out in the open," said Benjamin Cohen. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/jewish-family-celebrates-hanukkah-2023-in-neighbors-attic

Jews Advised To Protect Themselves From Violence By Not Being Jewish U.S. — In response to increasing displays of antisemitism across the country and around the world, authorities have advised Jewish people to protect themselves from violent attacks by no longer being Jewish. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/jews-advised-to-protect-themselves-from-violence-by-not-being-jewish

Is China Telling the Truth About the New Respiratory Outbreak? There's something ominous going on in China that has many similarities to the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. [...] https://pjmedia.com/rick-moran/2023/12/06/is-china-telling-the-truth-about-the-new-respiratory-outbreak-n4924536

NZ Whistleblower Arrested for Exposing the Truth: Here's What They Didn't Want You to See Statistician and whistleblower, Barry Young, also known as "Winston Smith," 56, has been arrested by New Zealand authorities for exposing a damning database on COVID-19 vaccine deaths. [...] https://vigilantnews.com/post/nz-whistleblower-arrested-for-exposing-the-truth-heres-what-they-didnt-want-you-to-see

Did Hamas Short Sell Israeli Stocks Before October 7th? An analysis of trading activity on the stock market indicates that somebody knew of and invested based on the October 7th attacks on Israel. [...] https://hotair.com/david-strom/2023/12/06/did-hamas-short-sell-israeli-stocks-before-october-7th-n596942

Interesting -- and not what I thought the article would be about, from its title. Thoughts about it? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We Aren't Prepared For The Hell Democrats Will Put America Through In 2024 Sometimes coincidences happen in American politics, but what's happening right now with the Democratic Party [...] https://thefederalist.com/2023/12/07/we-arent-prepared-for-the-hell-democrats-will-put-america-through-in-2024/

That's great news. If it was posted here, I missed it. If you know the details, please post them.

Part of us wishes that we'd been a fly* on the wall at ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa, excitement man. *bilingual in Spanish, almost certainly necessary man

Thrilling Thursday report, see man: Snared miu from behind at beginning of breakfast and threw her into miu-carrier, devious we man. Miu was highly outraged, highly outraged miu man. Took miu to beauty salon for an all-wheel manicure, 2 months overdue man. Manicure cost $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 +2+2) -- si man, $Many ($2x2x2x2x2 +2+2) -- man. Miu objected on drive to casa, vocal miu man. Newly released miu reinvestigated casa suspiciously, what other deception lies herein man. Miu then finished her miu-breakfast, ingest miu man. We hastily prepared ourself for our own doc caucus, not far man. After caucus, went to Olive Garden for lunch special, ingest we man. While there, skool Assistant Principalette called, just touch base man. Returned to casa and phoned Mama T-B., still-alive senior she man. Got her to yell at us about old topics, good sign man. Siesta'd for 2 hours, overslept by an hour man. Arose to research financial topics demanded by Mama T-B., obey we man senior she man man. Din-din has been most of a Many-ounce ([2x2x2 +2]-oz.) can of mixed nuts, unwisely ingest we man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. called us several times after retrieving Mini-B., aysheep ex-she man. Mini-B. had spent his full in-skool suspension day doing the wrong Math-test review, man. We e-mailed the Math teechur as a priority, fortunately prompt response man. Aysheep ex-Mrs.-T-B. removed the PSMany (PS[2+2+1]) equipment from the wall, bye wee man's games man. Then, Mini-B. was found to have overlooked a second class assignment, different class man. Then, Mini-B. was found to have overlooked a Many'rd class assignment, different class man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. went even more aysheep and decided to suspend Mini-B.'s phone privileges, bye wee man's phone man. While ex-Mrs.-T-B. was heatedly telling us of this, Mini-B. texted us, text wee man we man man. "Can you pick me up from skool tomorrow, huh man? Mom's yelling at me and I don't want to be around her, no man," text wee man to we man man. We wrote back, "We have a conflict, Son, si man. The reason parents yell at you is because they love you and want the best for you, see and si man. Just look at how Grandma yells at us, si man," si man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. called again to tell us that she had found Mini-B.'s previous Math tutoress and had screenshotted every failed Math assignment to her, prepare ex-she man tutoress man. The tutoress can come every Saturday at a rate of $Many (2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2) per hour, man. We have rarely seen ex-Mrs.-T-B. more aysheep, aysheep ex-she man. We suspect that everyone in our family must now have high BP, conclude we man. We have itineraried Many (2+2+1) ESs for Friday, unsure if we can hit them all man.

Gracias, D ma'am. BP a bit more responsive today, whew man. Mama T-B. caucused with GP, who has ordered a Many-hour ([2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2]-hour) urine test for pheochromocytoma, cool name for nasty item man. We must arise at o'dark-Many to take Mama T-B. to a doc caucus at o'dark-Many, man. This presumes that Mama T-B. can make it down to the T-B.-mobile, uncertain man.

Sadly, Mongolia won't accept transfers from Russia. Small consulate (2 consular officers at most) and probably no way to verify the authenticity of Russian documents. Some of the -stan countries might also be unprepared to accept such requests.

It is Wednesday (well, it still is, in a couple of time zones) and therefore time for our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: ================================================ GOLDFISH BURIAL Little Timmy was in the garden, filling in a hole, when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Timmy?" "My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Little Timmy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat!"

Read the instructions carefully and interpret them literally.

Gracias, D ma'am. Mama T-B. can't last much longer at these stroke-level readings, no man. Interesting suggestion about hormones, si D ma'am. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. never responded about what punishment befell Mini-B., have to wait we guess man. We just confirmed that he probably won't be eligible to attend his year-end Band party, in the rules man. Mini-B. was upset, but seemingly because we paid on time and are now out $Many, concerned wee man. If so, that indicates some maturity, si man. We used this to reinforce the reality of "actions have consequences," worth more than $Many if it sinks in and sticks man. Miu is about 2 months overdue for a manicure, heavily armed miu man. We have placed the open carrier in a strategic spot, si man. We will probably have to seize her during miu-breakfast, betray miu man we man.

Thread about a now-resolved situation is closed to further comment -- OP has moved on to AOS questions (see thread in main "AOS from K Visas" forum).

Congratulations! 1. Become an "A" student of all subsequent phases of the immigration process. Read all requirements carefully, interpret instructions literally, and answer/respond completely and honestly. 2. Immediately begin collecting evidence of your joined lives for Removing Conditions (ROC). Throw all physical evidence into a box, and store electronic evidence in a special, backed-up folder. When it comes time to apply for ROC, you'll have more than enough supportive evidence. 3. As a top priority, draft and execute Wills, Powers of Attorney, and other associated estate documents. These make outstanding evidence for ROC, and they're even more crucial to have in "life." This applies even if you have few material or financial resources. In addition, change beneficiary designations on financial accounts and investment vehicles. Remember that estate attorneys can make their biggest money not off people who die intestate (without Wills), but off people who try to draft their own estate documents themselves or download something from a website. Shop around for the most competent estate attorney who will cut you an affordable deal. Keep in mind also that some U.S. states don't have Will reciprocity, so check into redrafting these estate documents if you move from one state to another.

Thread is moved from the K-1 Case Progress forum to the "AOS from K Visas" main forum -- topic involves that phase.

And yet again, the only thing to say about this nonsense is . Or maybe .

Spoken by a transphobic who needs to be canceled.

These people have lost their minds and their sense of humanity, if they ever had either.

It's the Amish.

Thrilling (?) Wednesday report, see man: Was awakened at Many a.m. by phone call from Mama T-B., ultra-groggy we man. "I have another BP prescription at Walgreens, si man! They say it's ready, but who can believe those incompetent losers, si and huh man? Call them to confirm and bring it to me right away, si man!" said senior she man to we man. "They're not open yet, no man," mumbled we man, squinting at clock blearily man. "Well, wait till they are, call immediately and report back to me, si man!" ordered senior she man of we man. We inadequately caffeinated ourself and spent half an hour on hold waiting for stupid call pick-up, man. The Rx was allegedly ready, amazing man, and we notified Mama T-B., si man. "Well, go pick it up and bring it straight here, si man, and don't look like a bum!" ordered senior she man of we man. "We need to take a quick shower, si man," weakly noted we man to senior she man. "Forget the shower and bring it here, si man!" ordered senior she man of we man. "The cardiologist is going away after Friday, and we need as much time as possible to see if I react poorly to these, si man!" continued senior she man. We somehow made it to Walgreens without an accident, groggy we man man. We waited for Many (2+2+1) minutes in their drive-through with no acknowledgment, man. We pulled around front and went inside, pharmacy ALL the way at back of store man. Many (2+2+2) -- si man, Many (2+2+2) -- customers were ahead of us, man. One was arguing with a clerk about why an Rx wasn't ready, been there done that we man. Another was trying to schedule a flu/Covid shot, isn't now a bit late for that man? The clerks were all moving like molasses and reacting like idiots, typical man. When our turn came, we told the clerkette which one we'd come for, si man. The clerkette said, "But I see that we have 2 ready, si man." We again specified which one we'd come for, si man. Clerkette took a full 2 minutes to find it, man. We finally blew over to Mama T-B.'s, finally man. Mama T-B. insisted on opening the stapled package herself, let us do it if you're trembling man. Mama T-B. began cursing at the size of the Rx bottle, manufacturer's original man. Mama T-B. began trying to open the foil seal until we took over, si man. We said, "It's not unusual to give out the manufacturer's bottle, no man!" si man. Mama T-B. said, "It won't fit in my pill drawer with all the others, no man!" rant senior she man. Mama T-B. immediately popped one of the pills, anxious senior she man. "Why didn't you offer to start my car on Sunday when you were here, huh man?" asked senior she man. "You didn't ask, no man," replied we man. "Well, go down and do it now, si man!" ordered senior she man of we man. "Where's the key, huh man?" asked we man of senior she man. "In here," said Mama T-B., fumbling to get it. "Let us get it, si man," offered we man to senior she man. "Don't mess up anything in that drawer, no man!" ordered senior she man of we man. "Can we leave after starting it, huh man?" asked we man of senior she man. "I guess, si man, but that's my only spare key -- DON'T LOSE IT, no man!" said senior she man to we man. We left, needing one of those BP pills ourself, si man. As usual, the Mama-T-B.-mobile started right up, new battery man. To decompress, we gassed the T-B.-mobile at Costco, already halfway there we man. On the way casa-ward, we cursed ourself for not having prepared the valid Subway coupons, man. At the casa, we considered lunch, si man. Lunch was toucans of chicken noodle soup bought at last weekend's ES, ingest we man. At lunch's end, phone rang from Mini-B.'s skool, oh brother man. Assistant Principalette cheerily asked, "How are you today, huh man?" egad man. We replied, "What did he do now, huh man?" sigh man. "Well, he's in in-skool suspension for a couple of incidents, si man," said A.P. man. Mini-B. had joined his amigos in making fun of another stoodent's bad haircut, sigh man. Mini-B. had slapped another stoodent who'd tried to kick him after Mini-B. started an argument, sigh man. , man. We jawboned at length with the A.P., rather fruitful man. A.P. was interested that Mini-B. was an only child, just like us and the A.P. herself man. "This will help us in counseling him, si man," said A.P. man to we man. We promised that ex-Mrs.-T-B. and we would do our parts, si man. It was Two Guys eve tonight, how very opportune man. 🙄 We stuck a valid Subway coupon in our pocket, prepared we man. We were very calm at skool pick-up, si man. Mini-B. was somewhat subdued, expected man. Mini-B. requested Subway for din-din, si man. Din-din was from Subway*, ingest Two Guys man. *WUOC, financially savvy we man After din-din, we calmly invited Mini-B. to put down his phone, si man. We extracted the stories from Mini-B., one easier than the other man. "I teased the kid about his bad haircut because my friends were doing it and I wanted to be popular, and I got in trouble for it, si man," said wee man to we man. "Do you remember how embarrassed you were about your last haircut, huh man?" asked we man of wee man. "Remember how you were afraid that people would make fun of you, huh man?" asked we man of wee man. Mini-B. reluctantly acknowledged this, si man. "Don't you think that this kid felt badly enough about his haircut without everyone's help, huh man?" asked we man to wee man. Mini-B. reluctantly acknowledged this, si man. The second incident involved kids playing ball after skool the other day, si man. Mini-B. asked one of his amigos, who was playing, if Mini-B. could join, si man. Mini-B. then made fun of a player's skills, si man. That kid's brother took offense, si man. Comments on both sides accelerated, si man. The kid and his brother tried to kick Mini-B., si man. Mini-B. allegedly slapped one, si man. The kids reported Mini-B. for bullying, man. We asked if Mini-B. knew the saying "put your foot in your mouth," ask we man of wee man. He did not, no man. We explained this and said, "A closed mouth gathers no foot," si man. We recommended that Mini-B. think his observations about people but not offer them, si man. We then left Mini-B. to decompress and went outside, call ex-Mrs.-T-B. we man. Ex-she man was somewhat aware of the first incident, Mini-B. had told her man. Ex-she man was upset-angry about the second, oof man. Ex-she man will probably lower the boom, uh-oh man. Mama T-B. just called, call senior she man we man. New BP pill worked for a few hours, encouraging man. BP now returned to stroke-level values, damn it man. Something else is causing these BP issues, agree we man with senior she man. Mama T-B. not even sure that she'll make it to cardiologist on Friday, that bad man. This has been a thrilling Wednesday, si man.

Negligent out-tuckered non-garbage-curbsiding Ontarklar! Negligent, NEGLIGENT out-tuckered OUT-TUCKERED non-garbage-curbsiding NON-GARBAGE CURBSIDING Ontarklar!